Jon Scieszka's Guys Read initiative was founded on a simple premise: that young guys enjoy reading most when they have reading they can enjoy. And out of this comes a series that aims to give them just that. Ten books, arranged by theme, featuring the best of the best where writing for kids is concerned. Each book is a collection of original short stories, but these aren't your typical anthologies--each book is edgy, inventive, visual, and one-of-a-kind, featuring a different theme for guys to get excited about. "Funny Business" is based around the theme of--what else--humor, and if you're familiar with Jon and Guys Read, you already know what you're in store for: ten hilarious stories from some of the funniest writers around. Before you're through, you'll meet a teenage mummy; a kid desperate to take a dip in the world's largest pool of chocolate milk; a homicidal turkey; parents who hand over their son's room to a biker; the only kid in his middle school who hasn't turned into a vampire, wizard, or superhero; and more. And the contributor list includes bestselling author, award winners, and fresh new talent alike: Mac Barnett, Eoin Colfer, Christopher Paul Curtis, Kate DiCamillo (writing with Jon Scieszka), Paul Feig, Jack Gantos, Jeff Kinney, David Lubar, Adam Rex, and David Yoo.Guys Read is all about turning young readers into lifelong ones--and with this book, and each subsequent installment in the series, we aim to leave no guy unturned.

    Carly, an unassuming receptionist at Guru Fashion Agency, is shocked when sexy new guy Jake texts her to say he needs her help—fighting off zombie models! Soon she discovers New York is under siege and she’s the chosen one who can save them all. With the help of her sassy, donut-loving deskmate Joyce and the intriguing Jake, Carly embarks on a death-defying adventure that leads to a Fashion Week showdown with the Queen of the Zombies, one of the industry’s biggest icons. It just might be the strangest first date she’s ever had.

    if you’re one of the lucky few to live in the new, ecologically-minded city-states that dot the landscape. Outside their walls, in the “wilds” -- the rotting suburbs and exurbs of America -- things have become rather more precarious. Benjamin Washington is a kid in New St. Louis, who is on the verge of getting the boot into the wilds if he doesn’t take a job. In a last-ditch effort, he takes the only gig available to him: Biological Systems Interface Management... which is to say, he’s about to become a high-tech pig farmer. It’s a letdown for Benjamin, who has always expected better things for himself. But then comes the day when New St. Louis is under attack, from without and within. The only person standing between attackers and their goal is one young pig farmer, who never even wanted to be there... but who now has to make a choice whether to co-operate with the intruders, or make a stand for his city.

    That prisoner has a tale to tell, of heroes and monsters, of honour and treachery, of life and death. He has stood at the side of the Warmaster himself, and he has a message for the Imperial Fists primarch. But can he be trusted? And can he be allowed to live? Rogal Dorn must decide the fate of the last remembrancer.A short story from the Age of Darkness anthology.

    That would be untrue; for though the mightiest mage of the era was forced by law and custom to refrain from visiting his realm in Castal, he had left behind a significant body of learned and dedicated colleagues to continue his policies and see to the protection of the magelands.“These were not all warmagi, nor even High Magi; indeed, the strength of Sevendor depended on magi of all types and descriptions. As Minalan fought against the darkest foes in the West, his lands in the east were protected by his vassals, allies, and friends. Their powers varied, as did their station. But they were uniformly devoted to Minalan the Spellmonger and the land he had wrought. They kept watch against secret incursions or hidden dangers against the realm while the Spellmonger’s strength was elsewhere. Whilst he grappled with the fearsome minions of Korbal the Necromancer, his magical land was well-warded by the famous Wizards of Sevendor.”From the Heeth the Arcanist’s History of the Magelands

    

    NippleJesus was his own contribution, featuring "a bruiser (who) finds out that guarding modern art is far more hazardous than controlling the velvet ropes at a nightclub".

    It doesn't appear as a standalone work, but is included with several collections. The story is a prequel to the events in The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy and has the young Zaphod Beeblebrox working as a salvage ship operator. He guides some bureaucrats to a crashed spaceship which may be leaking some hazardous materials. The bureaucrats are determined to "make it safe". The comic asides in the story include some of the time travel paradoxes which are a common running theme in Adams' SF work, and plenty of material about lobsters

    

    The deceptive, crooked path that led him to today began a few months back. Born and raised in Baltimore, Maryland, nineteen-year old Fleming was a professional baseball pitcher with the Chicago White Sox. His successful first year in the minor leagues was waylaid when he received his draft notice. Through a series of misadventures, he ended up enlisting for four years in an elite unit called the A.S.A. or Army Security Agency; the army’s equivalent to the N.S.A. or the National Security Agency. Once in the army, Fleming learned that the recruiter had manipulated him with a host of untruths. Then, to his dismay, he learned that the army had lost his orders and he was placed in an infantry unit. Once in Vietnam, Platoon Sergeant, Levine questioned Fleming and dragged out of him the sad story of how he had enlisted for four years and ended up in an infantry unit. He became the butt of the platoon’s jokes and underwent vicious ribbing by the other platoon members. That day, the platoon was ordered back to their base camp: L.Z. English. Before leaving, they endured a mortar attack and then a ground probe. Fleming’s foxhole mate was critically wounded. Fleming did everything he could to save the man but his wounds were too severe and he died in Fleming’s arms. Repulsed by the ordeal, Fleming was left wondering if he could endure a whole year of this. Twelve-year old Van Phan Duc and his two friends twelve-year old Hoi Anh Vanh and Dan Tri Quang lived happily in their village until the day a N.V.A. invaded and forced them to join their struggle and fight the invading Americans. They were then assigned to a Viet Cong unit where they met Sergeant Chi, the man who would train them to be soldiers for the revolution and lead them into battle. Three American soldiers had been captured. Chi ordered the three boys to participate in brutally torturing the Americans. Dan embraced the torture and it turned him into a brutal fighting machine, much to Chi’s satisfaction. On the other hand, Hoi was repulsed by the events and a part of him died that day. He performed the torture but it wasn’t to Chi’s satisfaction. Van, a devout Buddhist, was also repulsed. He realized that life, as a soldier was three hundred and sixty degrees opposite of Buddha’s spiritual path. The 173rd’s area of operations was the Central Highlands. The 173rd’s home base was in and around the town of Bong Son, but they patrolled all over the province of Binh Dinh. For the next few months, Fleming and Van’s units met on numerous occasions. The first time they engaged each other in combat was in a simple ambush that lasted only two minutes. Both men were left repulsed by the carnage that could take place in only two minutes. Right after the ambush, Fleming’s company was deployed in a battalion-sized operation located in the Dak To mountain range. It was an area where numerous North Vietnamese soldiers infiltrated into South Vietnam from neighboring Cambodia and Laos. Fleming’s company was dropped into an area far from Dak To and the men were forced to march (hump) to their final destination. During the trek, they had to carve their way through impenetrable jungle and cross leach infested rivers to reach their destination, all the while suffering under Vietnam’s oppressive heat. Van’s Viet Cong unit was sent to the Dak To mountain range to do battle with Fleming and his company. Months passed with Van and Fleming’s units constantly meeting. Both men had similar personalities. Both men overcame their initial shock at war’s brutality and became highly competent soldiers who bravely fought the enemy. Both men were ultimately made into squad leaders. Both men continued to hate the war, yet were entrapped in the insanity that was war. They both recognized what war was—a brutally insane series of events where lives were lost and where dreams died.

    Gary Handler has issues. His boss hates him, his mother hounds him, and his cat thinks he’s an idiot. But that’s okay because Gary’s got the perfect solution to all of life’s troubles: a porn site subscription and his right hand.Sadly, all habits grow old, even the fun ones. Gary soon finds himself at the doorstep of a creepy old pawn shop where he buys a used adult novelty toy to spice up his one-man sex life.Pity for him that it’s cursed by the angry spirits of all the “kids” he’s flushed down the toilet. Needless to say, hairy palms are about to become the least of his worries.----------Jack on, jack off ... with the Jacklight in book 2 of Shingles, the horror comedy series that’s not for those with faint hearts or weak bladders.

     From demons to cowboys, from werewolves to mistletoe, this 2-in-1 will keep you warm during cold December nights. Set in Kenyon's imaginative world, A Dark-Hunter Christmas shows Gallagher, in New Orleans, at Christmastime, without his family. Missing the ones he loves is a powerful force, and threatens to cast a pall over the Big Easy's Christmas cheer. But Simi has a few tricks up her sleeve, intent to show him that even though he is apart from his loved ones, he still has people to lean on...In Santa Wears Spurs, the wanted outlaw O'Connell was forced years ago to abandon his spitfire of a woman-his wife, Catherine-before his enemies hurt her to get to him. Now he's ready to turn himself in to the authorities, but not before he does one last good deed. A deed that miraculously sends him head-to-head with Catherine who wants a bigger piece of his hide than his enemies do. But with his dangerous brother hot on his tail to end him, he has to protect Catherine at all costs. Something that would be a lot easier to do if she could forgive him for screwing up her life and leaving her. It will take a little miracle and a whole lot of Christmas magic to put his enemies behind him and allow him to win back his own good name and a heart he should never have abandoned.

    After more than thirty years of being asked the same question—"Why don't you give us some good news for a change?"—veteran television news anchor Bruce Lindsay obliges us with humorous and heartwarming stories from the idyllic town that we believe we grew up in—or wished we did. Inspired from the stories found in real small-town newspapers, Bruce Lindsay introduces us to the down-to-earth, foible-filled characters from Parley's Grove—folks who can make the mundane mesmerizing and the absurd endearing. Warm, poignant, and always hilarious, these affectionate vignettes of small-town life will help you remember who you are and where you're from.

    The world of Sepulchre IV stands on the brink of destruction.  From the stars the Red Rage descends, intent on murder and massacre.  Into the fray are thrust the Firedrakes, peerless champions of the Salamanders.  Their mission: retrieve the 'holy relic' of Spulchre and prevent it falling to the enemy.

    Every word tells, & the number of unusually stirring incidents is legion, while the plot is phenomenal in its strength, merit & ingeniousness.