A conspiracy is afoot--one with dire implications for both supernaturals and humans. Sophronia must rely on her training to discover who is behind the dangerous plot-and survive the London Season with a full dance card.In this sequel to New York Times bestselling Etiquette & Espionage, class is back in session with more petticoats and poison, tea trays and treason. Gail's distinctive voice, signature humor, and lush steampunk setting are sure to be the height of fashion this season.

    Entering a world of mysterious powers and nightmarish consequences, Chris realizes the secret belief of every teenage boy- that his wang has the power to change the world. The Monkey's Penis is the third installment in the terrifying Shingles series, and once again readers with weak hearts or bladders are advised to read on at their own risk...

    It was a normal Christmas Eve until Jeff Tanner's youngest son Davey snapped a turkey wishbone and made a crazy wish. Now Jeff thinks he's gone insane, because he sees strange things that no one else can - bug-eyed babies, walking teddy bears, and tiny freaks galore. What's worse, they don't like him. At all. Now Jeff has to figure out why they're angry, and quick, before his life is ruined by a million, invisible IMAGINARY FRIENDS.

    And when Maurice turns Reginald to save his life, it's just Reginald's own further bad luck that he wakes up to discover he's become the slowest, weakest, most out-of-shape vampire ever born, doomed to "heal" to his corpulent self for all of eternity.As Reginald struggles with the downsides of being a fat vampire -- too slow to catch people to feed on, mocked by those he tries to glamour, assaulted by his intended prey and left for undead -- he discovers in himself rare powers that few vampires have… and just in time too, because the Vampire Council might just want his head for being an inferior representative of their race. Fat Vampire is the story of an unlikely hero who, after having an imperfect eternity shoved into his grease-stained hands, must learn to turn the afterlife's lemons into tasty lemon danishes.

    So after hearing of her daughter-in-law's sudden death, Delilah decides that coming to the rescue of her long-estranged son, Jessie, and her granddaughter, Tamara, would be a good look.  .  .though Lord knows she'll have to dig hard to find her maternal instincts.But Delilah quickly discovers Jessie wants nothing to do with her. And Tamara, who's following in Delilah's musical footsteps, isn't interested in her career advice, especially since Delilah got ahead using the singing couch. And Delilah's old flame, Deacon Pillar, an ex-convict who's traded in his gangster ways for a Bible, is stirring up a past that's sure to shock..."Hilarious faith-based romp.  .  .Walker shines a little light on a wacky family reunion with her usual inspirational, knee-slapping style." --Publishers Weekly "A comic novel about mistakes and second chances." --Library Journal

    Gary Handler has issues. His boss hates him, his mother hounds him, and his cat thinks he’s an idiot. But that’s okay because Gary’s got the perfect solution to all of life’s troubles: a porn site subscription and his right hand.Sadly, all habits grow old, even the fun ones. Gary soon finds himself at the doorstep of a creepy old pawn shop where he buys a used adult novelty toy to spice up his one-man sex life.Pity for him that it’s cursed by the angry spirits of all the “kids” he’s flushed down the toilet. Needless to say, hairy palms are about to become the least of his worries.----------Jack on, jack off ... with the Jacklight in book 2 of Shingles, the horror comedy series that’s not for those with faint hearts or weak bladders.

    Devastated, Jeb attends his friend's funeral where he is approached by a priest who gives Jeb a note from his Secret Service agent friend hinting of treason within the highest levels of the government. Uncertain what he should do, Jeb returns home to North Carolina to consult with Cal, his father and witty small town newspaper owner/editor. Cal advises Jeb to not get involved, at least not until more information is learned by the FBI and government investigators. Jeb follows his father's advice, but is eventually forced into action as the new President, Helene Fordham, calls him to Washington for a personal meeting. Jeb cannot refuse the persuasive first female President or her close friend, his former editor, and reluctantly agrees to begin his own investigation. It isn't long before Jeb, Cal, and Liz McCarty, the beautiful sister of the murderer, are running from the chief suspect, former Chief Justice Ezekial Koonce, as well as the FBI, police, a professional hit man, the Mafia, and even the U.S. Army! Stubbornly digging out facts of the conspiracy while barely keeping himself and his friends alive, Jeb manages to stay half a step ahead of all those in pursuit. With Cal's assistance, Jeb peels off layer after layer of the astonishing plot, which races through exciting and surprising turns of events, culminating in an amazing, highly explosive climax you won't believe!

    While it may seem like just an ordinary place, The Landing holds a secret so dark, that there are those who will do anything to protect it.For decades, young girls have been disappearing like clockwork. While some have their suspicions, the entire town lives in fear - and for good reason. When Rita Clemens, a former member of the Pittsburgh Bureau of Police, decides to make her new home in Hull's, she begins to uncover what the locals have tried to keep hidden for so long.As the race against time begins, Rita will have to do everything she can to protect herself, and to save a child's life, before one of the world's oldest evils can be unleashed.

    He doesn't have superpowers or supernatural forces on his side. He can be hurt. He can be maimed. The only thing he's got going for him is that he is Unkillable.

    Unfortunately, that was before two dudes wielding high-tech gadgets made off with both his kegs and his brother. Now Clyde has to hunt down his sibling with only his most trusted lackey along to help. Will he manage to recover both his beer and Dougie? Will they survive the night as they unveil the mysterious secret of the kidnappers? Will the Earth be destroyed thanks to their bumbling incompetence? Probably that last one, but you’ll have to read it to find out.

     A short story in the Oddjobs universe that tries to answer the age-old question: what Christmas present do you get for the demon who has everything?

     THE STICK WOMAN - Priscilla has been held hostage, physically mutilated, and fed feces for years. And her situation is about to get much, much worse. SHIT-HOUSE - How bad is the world around you? How much worse could it get? How far would you go to fix it? THE USHERS - They are always there - somewhere in the background and just out of sight. A force of violence and lust. They are the ushers... THE SEA-SLOP THING - June needs a new job - and she's found it, along with something from the deepest depths of the sea.

    It is the start of the journey for an entirely different group of survivors and begins with their desperate battle to escape what has become ground zero for the sudden apocalypse, the mecca for hundreds upon hundreds of the Walking Dead.

    In the meantime, enjoy this freebie from God: OMG: How I Created the Universe, Adam, and Steve, which contains the first five chapters on the Creation of Adam and Steve (you read correctly) excerpted from The Last Testament.

    She’s a nobody. And that’s the way she likes it. Her father, on the other hand — Hank Keeling, the serial killer and occasional cannibal better known as the Pork Chop Killer — has just gone viral. Thanks to a prison guard’s error, a cell phone video of Keeling’s botched execution is quickly becoming an internet sensation. After watching her father die in all his pixelated glory, Caroline is taken off-guard when Keeling himself shows up at her front door, looking very much not dead. And he has a plan. A plan involving Caroline. A plan Caroline is going to take part in whether she wants to or not. Success means wealth beyond her dreams. Failure means death. Soon Caroline is whisked away from her bland life to face down killers, gangsters and a well-meaning cop in a hunt for long-lost fortune. Deceit, avarice and unrelenting violence collide in a coming-of-age story like none you’ve ever read.