Wake his kid brother Andy up, get tormented on the school bus by the cool kids, try to avoid them while in school. Except it's Field Trip Day to the Science Museum, and now he's stuck with the meanest kids in seventh grade all day! But then the bus breaks down, so he doesn't even get to do anything cool at the science museum. It's okay, because an industrial accident brings science to Todd and his friends in the form of a zombie apocalypse. When the bus driver abandons them in the middle of a zombie outbreak, Todd, his brother Andy, his best friend Tarik, and their tomboy friend Mikayla take shelter in the first place they can find - an adult novelty store. What can you find in an adult toy store to fight zombies? Well…let's just say that the field trip was pretty educational, even if the kids never made it to the museum! Shingles is the comedy horror series from the gang that brings you the Authors & Dragons podcast. Like the podcast, these books are rated Not Safe For Anything.

    He’s also a vampire. He lives alone and avoids the other vampires in L.A., but Pete’s simple life goes haywire when he falls for Angie, the cute bartender at a Sunset Strip dive -- and when sinister vampire lord Carson Fitzgerald returns to claim his children, Pete learns that nothing's ever easy for a creature of the night.

    

     A 27 year old slacker has seizures during which he may or may not be astral projecting. What he learns might have the power to change the world. One second JEFF GROBNAGGER is standing in line at the grocery store, and the next he's in an alley where a hooded figure strangles him to death. So that sucks. This happens over and over again, every time Grobnagger has a seizure. Alley. Choking. Death. Repeat. What for? Why would anyone want to kill him repeatedly? Is it just a recurring seizure dream? When a sniper's bullet shatters his apartment window, he realizes two things: he's in serious danger, and there's no way he's getting his security deposit back. Who is the hooded man? And who tried to kill Grobnagger in real life? His quest for answers leads to a missing girl, cults obsessed with astral projection, an arcane puzzle sphere, an evil book, a private detective named Louise and a mustached man named Glenn that makes the most delicious food he's ever tasted. No one he meets is who they seem, and every answer leads to more questions, more seizures and more horrific deaths that may or may not be transpiring on some mysterious plane beyond the physical world. Scroll up and hit LOOK INSIDE to check out the first few chapters. BLED WHITE (Book 2) All Jeff Grobnagger wanted was to be left alone. The events of Fade to Black (Awake in the Dark #1) shifted his goal from a life of solitude to figuring out what the hell is happening to him ASAP, so he can, you know, get back to the solitude. His journey takes another twist when a burned corpse sporting a League of Light robe turns up in a vacant lot. Working undercover to solve the murder reveals bigger and bigger clues about his seizures. Solve the murder, solve the seizures? Maybe. He meets new people and is shown new places on the other side. But who and what can he trust? Just as he realizes that someone close may be working against him, he gets blindsided by the biggest shock yet. RED ON THE INSIDE (Book 3) The events of the first two books leave Grobnagger drained, often struggling to stay awake. He shuffles through life half awake, half tethered to reality. He still has no idea what is happening to him, but he's not sure he even cares anymore. When those that mean him harm finally begin to assert themselves, however, Grobnagger finds himself and his friends under direct threat of death. Plans are made to cross over and rescue Amity once and for all from her vulnerable position in the other world. But his adversaries are one step ahead and a violent spectacle becomes inevitable. Praise for the Awake in the Dark series: "Fade to Black is the funniest book I've read in... I can't remember how long. Seriously funny. I think I laughed out loud roughly once every three pages. That's a lot of funny packed into one book! And not just an internal chuckle here and there, but an honest to goodness laugh out loud that made my significant other call, 'What?' from the next room repeatedly." - Lisbeth Ames "(FADE TO BLACK) weirdly resonates with me. It is sneaky in a way – it holds the things we fear up to the light – opening the reader up to honesty – to love and hope and the truths of our souls found in the darkest of nights.

    Entering a world of mysterious powers and nightmarish consequences, Chris realizes the secret belief of every teenage boy- that his wang has the power to change the world. The Monkey's Penis is the third installment in the terrifying Shingles series, and once again readers with weak hearts or bladders are advised to read on at their own risk...

    Unfortunately, that was before two dudes wielding high-tech gadgets made off with both his kegs and his brother. Now Clyde has to hunt down his sibling with only his most trusted lackey along to help. Will he manage to recover both his beer and Dougie? Will they survive the night as they unveil the mysterious secret of the kidnappers? Will the Earth be destroyed thanks to their bumbling incompetence? Probably that last one, but you’ll have to read it to find out.

    A vile betrayal. Necromancer Damian Vesik faces his darkest hour, but he's not dead yet.THIS BROKEN WORLD (Book 4)An ocean of darkness lives in the journal of Philip Pinkerton. Ancient things with no place in our world are rising from the Abyss. Ezekiel, the arrogant, mad god has called us into battle. Does he think we can't touch him, or does he know we can't? I wish I knew. The world’s only hope lies in a forgotten weapon, the strength of our allies, and one necromancer of questionable ancestry. Yeah, this is going to end well.DESTROYER RISING (Book 5)It's been three years since we failed Vicky, the child once known as Elizabeth Gray. Three years she's lived as something not quite alive, but far from dead. Her path grows darker, even as she spreads light and hope through a tortured world. The Destroyer has come to claim her, and I can’t fail her again. I won't. Elizabeth's fate lies in the Burning Lands, and we will storm the gates.RATTLE THE BONES (Book 6)Much has been lost in the conflict with the Fae king and his allies, a conflict we hadn’t known we were in until one of our own fell at his hand. And while a great Seal between realms may have been rebuilt, dark things slipped through in the chaos, creatures who would overrun this world. Our allies are many. Our enemies are terrible. And someone ate my last chimichanga despite the fact I had clearly marked it with a note that said it was mine.This collection includes books 4, 5, and 6 of the Vesik urban fantasy series. Jump into the madness today!

    Love, lust and revenge never die - they smoulder and explode with all the fury of the abyss. Present-day Scotland and New York...Lord Branislav Cervenka rules the New York vampire coven and criminal underworld with an iron fist. He is building a vampire army and plans to conquer all other covens in the United States.His hunters torture and destroy a female vampire in the Highlands of Scotland and steal a strange, ancient tome. Then all hell breaks loose: a mysterious vampire warrior is killing his vassals and disrupting his criminal activities; a horrific vampire plague is spreading throughout the city; New York is descending into anarchy, and the National Guard is on the streets.Who is this vampire and what does he want?The identity and full horror of their ancient adversary is revealed as the coven's historian translates the hideous book.As his depraved kingdom is ripped apart in a sea of fire and blood, Cervenka commands his malignant horde to find and kill his enemy. But it is too late for both the hunters and their elusive prey. Something else is coming: something powerful and terrifying.And She will destroy them all.There is no redemption for the damned.------------------------------------Longinus the Vampire is a dark, anarchic, exciting, bloodthirsty and disturbing HORROR novel.It contains scenes of violence, depravity and retribution that will keep humans awake at night.The evil that humans do is carried with them into the afterlife and reborn with a vengeance. No one is safe and nothing is sacred.The hideous tome is scribed in the tongue of the Britons.Gird your loins, mortal, and enter of your own free will.You may never return...

    Beaufont Series Books 4-6 in one GIANT eBook, just waiting for you to enjoy!The New Elite:The dragonriders have been given a second chance.But that only draws more attention to them.Many powerful people want a dragon egg.And they will kill for them.The Gullington has never been more unsafe.Harboring dragon eggs is dangerous business. Sophia Beaufont feels the pressure to protect and also defend like never before.Being a mama to eggs isn’t easy.And yet, S. Beaufont would have it no other way.Will the dragon eggs survive the greed seeking to steal them for selfish gains?Justice Unhatched:The Dragon Elite are growing more powerful.But so are their enemies. Dragon eggs have been stolen, but Sophia isn’t deterred.She will get them back and make the thieves suffer.Once she figures out where to look for them…The stakes are higher than ever as Sophia is sent on mission after mission to help the Dragon Elite, do Subner’s bidding and also save those at the Gullington who are still cursed.Quiet might be better, but the housekeeper for the Castle is still sick.Sophia won’t stop until she finds a cure for Ainsley.But to save the eggs, the housekeeper and her friends it’s going to take harnessing the strongest power in the world. And the most elusive.Can love save everyone?Rectify Injustice:Who can turn an enemy into an ally?Sophia Beaufont hopes that she can.She just has to track down the steampunk cyborg.The problem is, Trin Currante thinks the Dragon Elite want her dead. And she’s excellent at avoiding death—as her history to survive and prevail over adversity has proven.Meanwhile, Hiker still struggles to hone his powers…Regardless of his strength, Ainsley doesn’t show signs of softening toward the leader of the Dragon Elite. If anything, he should fear the housekeeper might poison his next meal.While dragon eggs continue to hatch, magicians are going missing worldwide.The House of Fourteen is losing credibility with governments. Chaos is spreading around the planet. And Sophia suspects that the Saverus Corporation is behind everything.Can she uncover the truth before it’s too late? If you love dragons, and the special people who ride them, then you'll LOVE this action-packed dragon rider series!

    Hell on earth doesn’t stand a chance.Now that I’ve dealt with Badb and proven to the Celtic gods that I’m a force to be reckoned with, it’s time to address some unfinished business...The Hellpocalypse.Just thinking about that place makes me break out in a cold sweat, and since I started planning this journey, the nightmares have come back with a vengeance.Do I really want to revisit that hellhole? Absolutely not, but folks there are depending on me—innocents who won’t survive unless I return to protect them. Besides, it’s my fault that the Hellpocalypse exists, so it’s my responsibility to fix it.Of course, this time it’ll be different.When Gwydion stranded me there, I had no warning or time to prepare. But for cripes’ sake, I’m a master druid now—a little ol’ paranormal apocalypse will be a cake walk. I’ll just zip in, kill some master vampires, stop the spread of the vyrus, and be back in time for dinner with my girlfriend.In short? It’s time to cast magic and chew bubblegum… and I’m all out of bubblegum.- - -Druid’s Folly is an urban fantasy romp through present-day Austin, Texas and an alternate history, post-apocalyptic version of The Lonestar State.If you enjoy paranormal action & adventure novels that are full of magic, guns, explosions, vampires, werewolves, ghouls, zombies, and necromancers, you’ll love this first book in the Colin McCool Trickster Cycle trilogy.Grab your copy today and find out what 200,000+ book lovers already know… that M.D. Massey’s Druidverse is a world tailor-made for fans of urban fantasy and paranormal suspense.Review"M.D. Massey's skillful storytelling and entertaining plot twists combine to deliver a page-turning experience that's sure to delight urban fantasy fans everywhere. If you're looking for your next riveting, supernatural adventure, this series delivers in spades!" ~ New York Times bestseller Joseph Nassise"M.D. Massey's action-packed novels take the reader on a rollercoaster ride into an immersive universe of quirky gallows humor, nightmarish supernatural creatures, and high octane urban fantasy adventures. The pages are filled with paranormal suspense and a host of monstrous grotesques in plots that teem with twists and turns. And in all this perfectly streamlined chaos, one thing's for sure; Colin McCool's never going to stop fighting until he's saved Austin, Texas, and most likely the entire world."~ Kit Hallows, Author of The Order of Shadows Series"MD Massey's Druidverse is the perfect playground for urban fantasy fans who enjoy what we've come to expect in excellent storytelling from the genre. Fast pacing. Relatable characters you want to root for. 'Bad guys' you love to root against. With plenty of supernatural elements, mythology, and non-stop action, his world is richly crafted and complex, never feeling bogged down in the details--just how urban fantasy should be told. Master storytellers are able to balance excitement, anticipation, and suspense over a long series--and that's exactly what MD does in the Colin McCool books. A must-read!"~ Paul Sating, Author of the Zodiac series"M.D. Massey offers bantering humor and action-packed adventure reminiscent of Jim Butcher's The Dresden Files... a wonderful read with a snarky hero, quirky characters, bizarre creatures, and dangerous situations."~Liz Konkel, Readers' Favorite Reviews

     He has spent six years living the quiet life in the suburbs after losing his job as Lord of Hell and now he thinks it’s time to indulge in all that life has to offer. Whether it’s dating the older woman, demonstrating supreme loyalty to his local coffee shop or fighting the scourge of the lollipop lady, Clovenhoof knows how to enjoy himself to the fullest. Join Clovenhoof as he continues his year-long journey to tackle the big issues in life.

    Beckoning Fates (book 3):Was I taking this life for granted? Having this amount of power at my age had made me lose some of the sense of rationality I’d had in my former life. No longer a king, no longer tied down by rules and politics, I’d become careless. In this world, my potential was boundless.Though Arthur Leywin would like nothing more than to pursue his studies at the esteemed Xyrus Academy, where he hopes to push his already potent magical abilities to new plateaus and perhaps discover something more about his reincarnation into this world, he finds the politics of the school’s halls even more challenging to navigate than those of the council chambers he once inhabited as King Grey. Arthur faces inept professors, jealous classmates, and an overeager director while fending off the affection of an old friend and the aggression of an old enemy. Then a routine class trip into a low-level dungeon turns out to be anything but, and Arthur discovers something that will change his life forever.Horizon's Edge (book 4):In my past life I hadn’t had anyone I would have given my life to protect. I had that now, but I didn’t have the strength to protect them - not against what was about to come.In another life, Arthur Leywin was a king and no stranger to war. He was not ready, however, to find himself at the heart of a conflict that will reshape his entire new world. Despite his abilities, it seems as if the danger only increases with every discovery he makes. His oldest friend succumbs to a power that may destroy her, a power Arthur gave her. His most constant foe accepts a dark gift to challenge Arthur’s strength, an act that threatens all of Xyrus Academy. How can he keep his family safe if his very presence is the thing that draws danger to them? Can he dispel the specters of war before it is too late?©2016 TurtleMe (P)2020 Podium Publishing

    A suburban mom with two young children, her life revolves around her family, her job, and the comforts of home. So when her estranged, wild-child sister comes to her, begging for help and claiming a witch murdered her husband and wants to steal her baby daughter in payment for a long-ago oath, Tamara thinks she’s gone crazy. Until she turns up dead, and the baby vanishes without a trace. If Tamara’s going to get her niece back, she’ll have to expand her worldview fast. She’ll also need some expert help. But where can a normal, practical woman find help dealing with an evil witch? Fortunately for her, aid is closer than she thinks. Who better to give button-down Tamara a crash course in things that go bump in the night than Stanford occult studies professor Dr. Alastair Stone? At least he can offer some tips, even if she’s sure he can’t help her any other way. Because magic isn’t real…right? Welcome to the spooky side of the street, Tamara. Hope you survive the experience. Devil's Bargain is a short, standalone novel in the world of the Alastair Stone Chronicles urban fantasy series. Don't miss the rest of the series: Stone and a Hard Place The Forgotten The Threshold The Source Core of Stone Blood and Stone Heart of Stone Flesh and Stone The Infernal Heart The Other Side Path of Stone Necessary Sacrifices Game of Stone Steel and Stone Stone and Claw The Seventh Stone and two standalone novellas: Turn to Stone Shadows and Stone

    Except, as Peter and Helen Radley know but their children have yet to find out, the Radleys happen to be a family of abstaining vampires. When one night Clara finds herself driven to commit a bloodthirsty act, her parents decide to explain a few things.

    So far her only option is an invitation from some upperclassmen to watch them drunkenly race a bunch of bullfrogs in a ditch. To be honest, she was hoping for something a bit more exciting.Her grandfather, Cornelius Everglades, is a renegade who founded his own island micronation. Unfortunately, the rest of the world refuses to acknowledge it (possibly because he’s gone about the nation-building process using wildly illegal and unethical means).When Cornelius shows up at Kara’s door needing her help and promising an adventure, Kara agrees to go along with his far-fetched plan to put his micronation on the map, even though a) she thought Cornelius was dead, and b) his scheme depends heavily on Kara wearing a mascot costume.If Kara had known about the giant alien spaceship currently speeding toward her grandfather’s country with the intent to subjugate and humiliate mankind, she might have reconsidered.