Witty and unexpected, this collection of customer reviews is sure to show you a new, hilarious, and completely candid side of Amazon products and reviews you never knew existed.

    Lots and lots of blood.And they’d pay good money for it.Now, I’m out to capture these criminal scumbags, turn them into a meal, and get rich doing it.But living among elite vampires is a lot more dangerous than I anticipated, so I’m going to have to be careful if I want to get rich and build a massive empire.

    His strange silver skin. His terrifying black eyes. His icy white hair.His intense, dominant gaze that tells me I'm his and his alone.No way. Just because he saved my life on Saloo VII doesn't mean I owe him said life. A thank you, perhaps. But nothing more.I return to Earth hoping the dreams would stop, but when I'm attacked again by vicious aliens, guess who swoops in to save me out of absolutely nowhere?Thiray th’Rasda Di’ylian.The mysterious Thaana warrior warns me I'm in great danger — and that he's the only one who can protect me.I do like it when he wraps his strong arms around me and tells me I'm safe.But can I truly trust an alien who’s stalked me across the entire universe?Fated Mates of the Thaana is a spin off from my Dohan Warriors series, but this book can be read as a complete standalone! However, if you want the full backstory, consider reading the Dohan Warriors series first!

    Prepare to walk in the sandals of a life you never completely contemplated. Dare to endure a sacrifice you never ventured to appreciate. Savor a love you will never fully fathom.Relive the greatest story ever told through the eyes of the one who cured the incurable and walked on water ... who challenged both religious and political establishments ... who suffered all the brutality of a Roman crucifixion ... and who victoriously abandoned his tomb. Let Jesus lead you through a riveting adventure that deeply explores his personal thoughts, joys, fears, frustrations, even his most profound prayers as he walked this earth in the flesh - fully divine and fully human, on a mission to save mankind.IN THE FLESH - MY STORY transcends the conventional to uncover a raw, unrestrained, fast-moving exclusive — the most influential figure in human history personally telling his side of the story.www.InTheFleshBook.com

    Carnie. Ride jockey. Roustabout. White trash. Tilt girl. Gypsy. Cricket has been called a lot of things, but she never thought survivor of the zombie apocalypse would be one of them.Book 3: The Shadow AspectLayla and Cricket must join forces if they hope to survive the end of days. But when the world burns, mankind's shadow side rises. Do we deserve to survive?Book 4: Witch WoodHarm none, and be ready for zombies. In the little town of Brighton, Amelia's practice of Wicca marks her as a curiosity both at home and at school. But when modern treatments fail to make a dent in the flu outbreak sweeping the globe, those who once ridiculed her white witchcraft turn to Amelia for help.Book 5: The Torn WorldWith the undead walking, vampires hunting, and kitsune closing in, everything seems lost. Layla, Cricket, and Amelia will need help if there is any hope of survival. Will they prevail in the dying world? Bonus Read: The Clarion Call The spirits warned Vasilisa the end was coming. Who knew her actions might save the world?

    But will his talent and stamina be up for the challenge?Warning: This novel contains mature content, including a harem element and explicit sex. It is not meant for readers under 18 years of age.

    Over a 100 five-star reviews. Over 600 pages of heart-melting romance. Find out why legions of readers have fallen in love with award-winning author Alexa Bloom's stunning contemporary romance series! The Harrisons Prequel: Once In A Big Dream The Harrisons Book 1: Once In A Blue Kentucky Moon (NATIONAL READERS' CHOICE AWARD WINNER) The Harrisons Book 2: Once In A New York Minute ONCE IN A BIG DREAM After 5 long years inside, Joe Harrison is finally about to taste the freedom he's been dreaming about for so long, except that the outside world doesn't exactly look too kindly on ex-cons. Now, he's keeping his head down at Keeneland trying to stay out of trouble--except trouble finds him in the form of Rose Parmenter. Rose's perfectly ordered life is bubbling along very nicely. Except for the fact that she hates her mother's endless snobby society lunches, she'd rather be a photographer than an accountant and she doesn't love her successful businessman fiancé, Geoffrey. When her photography group heads to Keeneland one day, a chance encounter with gorgeous stablehand Joe, sends their lives skittering in a direction that neither one of them could have imagined. But even as they dream of what could be, the shadows of Joe's violent childhood are about to explode into their lives with savage fury. ONCE IN A BLUE KENTUCKY MOON Tatum O'Connor thought she'd found her happy ever after with the guy of her dreams—but now her life is more like a waking nightmare than the fairy tale ending she'd dreamed of. Fleeing for her life, she winds up at enchanting Lockwood Farm—the place she'd always dreamed of as a kid, only to find that dealing with Lockwood's good-looking but cocky owner Blake Harrison, is a whole lot more than she bargained for. When her presence is unexpectedly discovered, events take a swift and ugly turn. Blake Harrison's relentless hard work turned his late father’s legacy Lockwood Farm, in the heart of bluegrass Kentucky, into a thriving five-star racehorse training facility—until a freak run of bad luck pushed it to the verge of bankruptcy. But even as his cherished family farm plunges further into debt, Blake finds himself magnetically drawn to the enigmatic new stable-hand with the endless doe-eyes. After a passionate waterfall encounter, Tatum's tangled web of secrets starts to unravel and Blake is rocked by the discovery of a devastating secret that leaves him with an impossible choice: does he try and save the family farm he cherishes...or the woman he’s come to love? ONCE IN A NEW YORK MINUTE Laura Harrison is reeling from a failed marriage and a failed business - and the humiliation of her New York days still burns like it was yesterday. Drowning herself in work at the family's Kentucky thoroughbred farm has helped keep her demons at bay, but when her sister unexpectedly turns up from Manhattan, the mysterious letter she delivers forces Laura back to the city she swore she'd never return to. Back in New York, Laura's conniving ex-husband swipes the rug out from under her all over again and she decides to leave the treacherous NYC fashion scene once and for all. Only a chance encounter with old family friend—tall, handsome Marcus, has her thinking twice. She soon finds herself falling for her cute new roomie and his adorable young son, but when the fashion sharks start to circle again and Laura turns to the one guy she thought she could count on - can she survive the worst betrayal of them all? “Alexa Bloom draws you into her richly compelling world of characters so seductively, you'll be rooting for Tatum and Blake like you've

     A kept secret. A life altered. A new journey.  Ariane lived her life one book at a time. She would never have guessed those books were about to change everything. They led her to Orion. Tall, dark, with eyes only for her. The rest of the world ceased to exist when Orion was around. But during a fateful ash moon, he shifted into a wolf. Ari thought she was dreaming, but she’d recognize those eyes anywhere. Fiction became reality. Fantasy was actually history. And soon, Ari would learn her role in it. A pack war was on the horizon, and she was the only one who could stop it. Nothing would ever be as it once was, because Ariane was now part of the Avynwood Pack. With over 8 million pages read in Kindle Unlimited, find out why everyone is falling for the paranormals in this romance trilogy. "One of the best written paranormal offerings I’ve found this year." - Crystal M., Amazon Reviewer ★★★★★ "Completely obsessed with this new series!! Total must read!" - TracyB, Amazon Reviewer ★★★★★ "This story is AMAZING. I think the plot is genius." - Nina, Amazon Reviewer ★★★★★ "Well written, passionate characters, suspense, twists and turns. So good!" - Nikki B, Amazon Reviewer ★★★★★

    For five years, I’ve known one thing, and that is that my stepsister is my fated mate. I’ve felt the pull to her, and it’s undeniable. When my alpha sent me on a mission to bring back a wolf shifter, who had taken up residence in her town, I was hoping and fearing that I’d see her again. And my hopes and fears became reality on my first day there. She was the wolf. And my alpha wants her. Liam My mission was simple. I had to search for the missing journalist, Rebecca Schmidt, and find out if she was alive and well. While I did find her, I didn’t expect to feel such a magnetic pull towards a complete stranger. When she was attacked outside the bed and breakfast, I knew I had to help. When my father, Conner, and Kody came to help me get to the bottom of why werewolves were after Rebecca, Kody sensed something “off” about her. That there's darkness in her. I only hope I can keep Rebecca safe and get to the bottom of why she’s being targeted, and in the meantime, I pray that she feels the same undeniable draw towards me as I do towards her. Stone When Vicki Grant hired Blaire and I to find out who had killed her twin sister and her unborn baby, we knew it would be a tough one. We hit dead end after dead end, but—for some reason—I didn’t want to give up. One minor twist of fate, and our cold case was picking up speed. While I wanted to help Vicki discover who killed her twin, I didn’t want to do it at the expense of her life. I may not have all the answers, but the one thing I did know was that this sexy, beautiful, intelligent woman was my mate, my forever, and I’d do whatever I could to keep her safe. Rose Those eyes…where have I seen those eyes before? They are emerald green and they look remarkably like the eyes of the giant wolf I encountered in the woods. Yet…they belong to the incredibly sexy Max Ryker, who is most certainly a man in every sense of the word. I find myself returning to the woods that is part of the Ryker ranch. It’s like I’m drawn to it, even though my aunt and uncle have warned me to stay away from the Rykers. As I get to know Max Ryker and his mom and brother, I find that—even if the rumors are true, that his mom is a witch—I cannot stay away. I have a gut feeling that the Rykers are not what they seem, but will I have to give up a normal life to experience life with Max? Or can I have it all?

    Ghosts in the windows. Something climbing the stairs. Ron lands the home of his dreams, isolated on a rural mountain, away from the noise and crowds of the city. With the house in need of repairs, he works on fixing it up before his wife and son join him. Unfortunately, the more he repairs, the more problems he uncovers. During the day, he works on the mundane: septic system, plumbing, electrical wiring. But when the night comes and a deep darkness settles on the lonely property, a whole new set of troubles develop: scratching at the windows, the sound of footsteps on the stairs, shadowy figures in the yard. Threats. Attacks. Ron comes to realize the house is unsafe — not because of the physical problems, but because of the unseen. He needs to rid the building of whatever evil has taken hold, but there’s one huge obstacle: he doesn’t believe in ghosts. He’s a total skeptic. His friend Jake helps with the repairs. Jake is more willing to accept that the nightmarish apparitions in the house are real, and his girlfriend Freedom attempts to cleanse the house. Her methods backfire, so she leaves, frightened, refusing to return to the house. She demands Jake leave too, but Ron convinces Jake not to abandon him. Desperate to solve the haunting, Jake ropes in others who claim to have “the gift,” but they all fail, unable to confront and outwit the evil inside the house. While Ron and Jake try to uncover the mystery, they go on a frightening journey, eventually coming to terms with the mountain’s troubled history. An ugly, brutal war waged between two families still consumes the area, and Ron’s house is caught in the middle of it. The Coldwater Haunting is a ghost novel of over 100,000 words. It contains chilling scenes some may find disturbing. Advance readers report the book interfering with their dreams… “Extremely creepy!” “Kept me on edge…no way to escape it.” “Goose flesh on my arms!” “The warning was merited…dreamt about it ALL night.” “The best book you’ve written.”

    Save 40% versus buying the individual episodes! "This Hatar Kalar has more natural Talent than any Second Born found in the Empire." Every ten years the Imperium Provosts travel the provinces of the Great Suene Empire and take every second born child as the property of the Emperor. His Due for their continued protection. Kalena, taken from her family and friends finds herself alone and scared in the imperial Stronghold of Darkon. And when she cries out to the darkness for help, Kalena is shocked when it answers her back. If you found out that you were different from everyone else, what would you do?

    Inspired by a dark masterpiece. Twenty years into the future, an independent virtual reality developer named Fulton Milner creates a VR program that is so immersive that it truly fools the mind. His program, a virtual resort, created such pleasurable immersion that he is soon recruited by a renown games studio. Here, one of Milner's projects, a virtual fantasy game, catches the eye of some investors and he is finally given the approval he needs to begin the project that would define his career. It's a dark fantasy adventure simulator known only as Project DH. Sam Nagai thought testing videogames would be a dream job until he got saddled with a ton of barely playable mobile games that used very wonky holographic gimmicks. The lack of fun in these games and small pay makes Sam typically reluctant whenever he gets a call for a new gig, but customers for his art commissions have been scarce and Sam needs all the money he can get. He finally gets a call for a new gig with potential bonus pay, but not much else is known about the game itself. From what he does know, it sounds sort of interesting. Virtual reality, dark gothic fantasy world, role playing game mechanics, and uber hard difficulty? Sam's all in for that. After all, even if he gets in over his head, the simulation isn't truly real so there's not really any danger. Join Sam in a virtual sword and sorcery role playing adventure where the main goal is survival at all costs. It's an adventure that's filled with diverse starting classes, customizable combat options, upgradeable weapons and armor, upgradeable statistics, open ended questlines, realistic NPCs with classically trained voice actors, a dark and atmospheric immersive game world, multiplayer content, eye popping creature designs, and so much more. Players say its the perfect blend of simulation and fantasy, where their imaginations can truly run wild. **Note to readers: If any of you are sensitive to swearing, then this book isn't for you. There is copious swearing from the main character, Sam, that's mainly played as a character flaw/trait for laughs and dramatic effect.

    Becoming injured he ends up saving a legendary creature, then bonds with it. After he heals he has no idea of what life has for him, but fate has decided on what he has to become.Disclaimer: The book has harem elements/unconventional relationships, sexual content, cursing, and intended for those 18+. The MC ends up being Over Powered, but who doesn't like a badass right?

    Arrested for fraud in 2008--during the depths of the global financial crisis--the 70-year-old market maker, investment advisor, and former chairman of the NASDAQ had orchestrated the largest Ponzi scheme in world history, fleecing thousands of investors across the globe to the tune of $65 billion. To this day, questions remain: Why did he do it? How did he get away with it for so long? What did his family know? Who is the elusive Bernie Madoff?In Madoff Talks, author Jim Campbell presents the most comprehensive, insider account of the Madoff saga to date. Based on exclusive interviews with all the players--the Madoff family and their associates, the Wall Street wheelers and dealers, the army of lawyers, analysts, and investigators, the victims of the scheme, and Bernie Madoff himself--the book reveals: what motivated a respected financier to commit such a massive fraud--and why he thought he could get away with ithow Madoff managed to keep the scheme hidden in plain sight--despite numerous SEC investigationsthe shocking failures of Wall Street oversight--and how it could happen againthe true scale of the investment losses―and the victims' ongoing fight for justicewhat Ruth Madoff and the rest of the family knew--and how it shattered their livesMadoff Talks features the first, and likely only, interviews with Ruth Madoff and defense attorney Ira Sorkin, for which Bernie waived attorney-client privilege, as well as never-before-published details from the author's personal communications with Bernie Madoff in prison. A vivid, powerful piece of investigative reporting, the book takes us behind the headlines to show the full human cost of Madoff's crimes, and offers a cogent analysis of the reforms necessary to prevent it from happening again.Meticulously researched and relentlessly riveting, Madoff Talks is the full story of an American tragedy.

    Ivan has an interface, a spear, and basic weapon skills. All he has to do to return to Earth is complete a simple quest and reach the second level. But experience points are only awarded for kills in this game, and the clock is ticking. Whoever doesn’t score within 24 hours will remain in the location forever.The game takes places in the ruins of a massive city, where the undead lurk in the central districts and the outskirts are raided by the descendants of past owners. The undead are strong, while the goblins rarely move around alone and aren’t worth much XP. The most valuable prey under these conditions are formal allies, i.e. the other players. If a player is capable of killing a fellow human, of course. Even if they aren’t planning to go against their own nature by murdering innocents, who said that they will have a choice? It’s kill or be killed!Those who complete the quest will be returned to Earth, where they can rest and prepare for the next attempt. Beyond the local objective is also a global one. In the center of the city stands a temple to a fallen god, and until one of the players captures the Altar, the mission will be repeated again and again. But when all you’re holding is a spear, your allies can’t be trusted, and resurrection is nearly impossible, this isn’t much more than a delayed death sentence…For the first seven players, who become the Earth Gods, this mission is a chance to rapidly gain power and take charge of a united Pantheon. A chance to escape death and protect our world from invasion. Although there is only one altar and the Gods make others do their work. Ivan must make a choice and decide whose pawn he will become. Or should he take a risk, refuse their patronage and keep his options open?