Fed Up: Emotional Labor, Women, and the Way Forward


Gemma Hartley - 2018
    In relationships, we initiate the hard conversations. At home, we shoulder the mental load required to keep our households running. At work, we moderate our tone, explaining patiently and speaking softly. In the world, we step gingerly to keep ourselves safe. We do this largely invisible, draining work whether we want to or not—and we never clock out. No wonder women everywhere are overtaxed, exhausted, and simply fed up.In her ultra-viral article “Women Aren’t Nags—We’re Just Fed Up,” shared by millions of readers, Gemma Hartley gave much-needed voice to the frustration and anger experienced by countless women. Now, in Fed Up, Hartley expands outward from the everyday frustrations of performing thankless emotional labor to illuminate how the expectation to do this work in all arenas—private and public—fuels gender inequality, limits our opportunities, steals our time, and adversely affects the quality of our lives.More than just name the problem, though, Hartley teases apart the cultural messaging that has led us here and asks how we can shift the load. Rejecting easy solutions that don’t ultimately move the needle, Hartley offers a nuanced, insightful guide to striking real balance, for true partnership in every aspect of our lives. Reframing emotional labor not as a problem to be overcome, but as a genderless virtue men and women can all learn to channel in our quest to make a better, more egalitarian world, Fed Up is surprising, intelligent, and empathetic essential reading for every woman who has had enough with feeling fed up.

The Body Project: An Intimate History of American Girls


Joan Jacobs Brumberg - 1997
    . . a work of impassioned advocacy."         --PeopleA hundred years ago, women were lacing themselves into corsets and teaching their daughters to do the same. The ideal of the day, however, was inner beauty: a focus on good deeds and a pure heart. Today American women have more social choices and personal freedom than ever before. But fifty-three percent of our girls are dissatisfied with their bodies by the age of thirteen, and many begin a pattern of weight obsession and dieting as early as eight or nine. Why?In The Body Project, historian Joan Jacobs Brumberg answers this question, drawing on diary excerpts and media images from 1830 to the present. Tracing girls' attitudes toward topics ranging from breast size and menstruation to hair, clothing, and cosmetics, she exposes the shift from the Victorian concern with inner beauty to our modern focus on outward appearance--in particular, the desire to be model-thin and sexy. Compassionate, insightful, and gracefully written, The Body Project explores the gains and losses adolescent girls have inherited since they shed the corset and the ideal of virginity for a new world of sexual freedom and consumerism--a world in which the body is their primary project."Joan Brumberg's book offers us an insightful and entertaining history behind the destructive mantra of the '90s--'I hate my body!'" --Katie Couric

How to Be You: Stop Trying to Be Someone Else and Start Living Your Life


Jeffrey Marsh - 2016
    Through Jeffrey's own story of "growing up fabulous in a small farming town"--along with the stories of hero/ines who have transcended the stereotypes of race, age, and gender--you will discover that you are not alone, can deepen your relationship with yourself, and find the courage to take a leap that will change your life.

How to Survive Your Childhood Now That You're an Adult: A Path to Authenticity and Awakening


Ira Israel - 2017
    We learned how to get approval or disapproval by creating the kinds of selves who would fit in and succeed with the -right- jobs, relationships, possessions, and so on. Even if we rebel against these ingrained notions by going in the opposite direction, we are still controlled by them. Either way, as adults we are often left feeling anxious or depressed because who we really are has been ignored. Author Ira Israel, a uniquely multidisciplinary therapist, offers a powerful, step-by-step path to recognizing the ways we've worked to get our needs met and changing them with an approach that allows for understanding and accepting who we really are, the recognition of our true calling, and the path to the authentic love we were born deserving.

Dear Bully: Seventy Authors Tell Their Stories


Megan Kelley HallDawn Metcalf - 2011
    Stine turned being the "funny guy" into the best defense against the bullies in his class.Today's top authors for teens come together to share their stories about bullying—as silent observers on the sidelines of high school, as victims, and as perpetrators—in a collection at turns moving and self-effacing, but always deeply personal.

Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss


Hope Edelman - 1994
    First published a decade ago, it is still the book that motherless daughters of all ages look to for understanding and comfort and that they press into each other's hands. Building on interviews with hundreds of mother-loss survivors, this life-affirming book is now newly expanded to reflect the author's personal experience with the continued legacy of mother loss; now married and a mother of young children herself, Edelman better understands how the effects of mother loss change over time and in light of new relationships. A work of stunning courage and honesty, Motherless Daughters is a must read for the millions of women whose mothers have gone, but whose need for healing, mourning, and mothering remains. It is a timeless classic.

Quit Like a Woman: The Radical Choice to Not Drink in a Culture Obsessed with Alcohol


Holly Whitaker - 2019
    Either way, it will save your life.”—Melissa Hartwig Urban, Whole30 co-founder and CEOWe live in a world obsessed with drinking. We drink at baby showers and work events, brunch and book club, graduations and funerals. Yet no one ever questions alcohol’s ubiquity—in fact, the only thing ever questioned is why someone doesn’t drink. It is a qualifier for belonging and if you don’t imbibe, you are considered an anomaly. As a society, we are obsessed with health and wellness, yet we uphold alcohol as some kind of magic elixir, though it is anything but.When Holly Whitaker decided to seek help after one too many benders, she embarked on a journey that led not only to her own sobriety, but revealed the insidious role alcohol plays in our society and in the lives of women in particular. What’s more, she could not ignore the ways that alcohol companies were targeting women, just as the tobacco industry had successfully done generations before. Fueled by her own emerging feminism, she also realized that the predominant systems of recovery are archaic, patriarchal, and ineffective for the unique needs of women and other historically oppressed people—who don’t need to lose their egos and surrender to a male concept of God, as the tenets of Alcoholics Anonymous state, but who need to cultivate a deeper understanding of their own identities and take control of their lives. When Holly found an alternate way out of her own addiction, she felt a calling to create a sober community with resources for anyone questioning their relationship with drinking, so that they might find their way as well. Her resultant feminine-centric recovery program focuses on getting at the root causes that lead people to overindulge and provides the tools necessary to break the cycle of addiction, showing us what is possible when we remove alcohol and destroy our belief system around it.Written in a relatable voice that is honest and witty, Quit Like a Woman is at once a groundbreaking look at drinking culture and a road map to cutting out alcohol in order to live our best lives without the crutch of intoxication. You will never look at drinking the same way again.

Emotional Sobriety: From Relationship Trauma to Resilience and Balance


Tian Dayton - 2007
    Dr. Dayton accomplishes this by presenting and explaining the latest research in neuropsychology and the role trauma plays on chemically altering the brain. With compassion and clear explanations and her own personal journey, Dayton teaches readers how to undo the neuropsychological damage of trauma to rewire the brain and reverse the negative effects trauma has on our future relationships and behaviors to gain emotional sobriety. In Emotional Sobriety, Dr. Dayton teaches readers: How to understand the mind/body relationship of addiction and relationship trauma How to rewire your brain to undo the negative effects trauma has on personal, career, and romantic relationships How changing the way one lives and perceives adult relationships can change the way one thinks and feels and vice versa

The Stress Reduction Workbook for Teens: Mindfulness Skills to Help You Deal with Stress


Gina Biegel - 2010
    Written by a psychotherapist specializing in mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) and featuring brand new exercises, The Stress Reduction Workbook for Teens, Second Edition shows how mindfulness skills can help you relax, prioritize, and keep calm during stressful times.Your teenage years are some of the most stressful of your life. With pressure about grades at school, parents who just don’t seem to get it, dating, and friends who drive you crazy, it’s no wonder. But here's the good news! If you learn a few strategies for getting stress under control now, you’ll have the skills you need to deal with problems and difficult feelings that life sends your way—in high school and beyond.The Stress Reduction Workbook for Teens is a collection of simple workbook activities that will teach you to reduce your worries using a technique called mindfulness. Mindfulness is a way to be aware of your thoughts and feelings in the present moment. You can use mindfulness when you start to feel as though things are spinning out of control, so you can stop worrying about what might happen and focus instead on what’s happening now.If you’re like many people, you find it easy to look at your negative qualities or feel there is no way to fix your problems or stress. This book is about building on the resources, skills, and positive qualities that you might not even realize you have. It is a way to move from “I'm powerless” thinking to “I can do it!” thinking.Hundreds of teens in mindfulness-based stress reduction classes have used activities like the ones in this book, and here is what some of them have said:“I have learned to let things go and move on from bad experiences.”“I felt that the coping skills learned are easy enough and effective enough to be used when I need. I now feel at the very least that I have the ability to reduce my stress.”“I learned new and different ways to stay relaxed and how to deal with stress and now I don’t worry much.”If they can do it, so can you! By practicing the skills outlined in this workbook, you'll be well on your way to developing lasting resilience and a new kind of strength—one that comes from within. Why not get started today?

Understanding the Borderline Mother


Christine Ann Lawson - 2000
    Recognizing her face, her voice, the meaning of her moods, and her facial expressions is crucial to survival. Dr. Christine Ann Lawson vividly describes how mothers who suffer from borderline personality disorder produce children who may flounder in life even as adults, futilely struggling to reach the safety of a parental harbor, unable to recognize that their borderline parent lacks a pier, or even a discernible shore. Four character profiles describe different symptom clusters that include the waif mother, the hermit mother, the queen mother, and the witch. Children of borderlines are at risk for developing this complex and devastating personality disorder themselves. Dr. Lawson's recommendations for prevention include empathic understanding of the borderline mother and early intervention with her children to ground them in reality and counteract the often dangerous effects of living with a "make-believe" mother. Some readers may recognize their mothers as well as themselves in this book. They will also find specific suggestions for creating healthier relationships. Addressing the adult children of borderlines and the therapists who work with them, Dr. Lawson shows how to care for the waif without rescuing her, to attend to the hermit without feeding her fear, to love the queen without becoming her subject, and to live with the witch without becoming her victim. A Jason Aronson Book

The Portable Therapist: Wise and Inspiring Answers to the Questions People in Therapy Ask the Most...


Susanna McMahon - 1994
    With compassion, wisdom and enlightening ideas, this book encourages you to be true to yourself, develop social interests and discover the positive, capable, confident human being you are meant to be.

Emotional First Aid: Practical Strategies for Treating Failure, Rejection, Guilt, and Other Everyday Psychological Injuries


Guy Winch - 2013
    But, as Guy Winch, Ph.D., points out, these kinds of emotional injuries often get worse when left untreated and can significantly impact our quality of life. In this fascinating and highly practical book he provides the emotional first aid treatments we have been lacking. Explaining the long-term fallout that can result from seemingly minor emotional and psychological injuries, Dr. Winch offers concrete, easy-to-use exercises backed up by hard cutting-edge science to aid in recovery. He uses relatable anecdotes about real patients he has treated over the years and often gives us a much needed dose of humor as well. Prescriptive, programmatic, and unique, this first-aid kit for battered emotions will appeal to readers of Unstuck by James S. Gordon and Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff.

Playful Intelligence: The Power of Living Lightly in a Serious World


Anthony Debenedet - 2018
    Learning the work of marriage. Navigating the bumpy terrain of parenting. Maintaining social relationships. Facing grave hardship. Finding contentment in our career.As the years pass by, we sense how the good things in life are so often eclipsed by stress. We find ourselves doing everything we can just to endure adulthood, all the while wondering whether we are actually enjoying it. This is exactly why Dr. Anthony T. DeBenedet decided to write Playful Intelligence: The Power of Living Lightly in a Serious World, to show readers how playfulness helps us counterbalance the seriousness of adulthood."Five years ago, my life was becoming more intense and stressful," DeBenedet says. "My relationships, clinical work as a physician, and basic interactions with the world were blurring into a frazzled mosaic. Going through the motions became my norm, and every day brought busyness and exhaustion. I thought about whether I was depressed. I didn't think I was. Anxious? Sure, but aren't we all anxious on some level? I also thought about the lifestyle factors that could be making me feel this way. Was I getting enough sleep? Was I exercising regularly? Was I eating healthy? Was I playing and remembering to be playful?"Today, we live in a taxing world. The endless pressure to keep up with our responsibilities and the daily headlines swarming around us can be overwhelming. DeBenedet's work comes at a time when stress, uncertainty, and intensity levels are high. Playful Intelligence shows adults that there is a way to live lighter--and smarter--as we navigate the seriousness of adulthood. It's not about taking life less seriously; it's about taking ourselves less seriously.The book's core chapters are devoted to exploring the effects and benefits of five playful qualities: imagination, sociability, humor, spontaneity, and wonder. By examining playfulness as a sum of its parts, readers will gain a working awareness of its power and be able to apply playful principles to their own lives, bringing the magic of childhood back into their day-to-day existence. The book also offers practical suggestions on how to make life more playful in nature.

The Mindful Teen: Powerful Skills to Help You Handle Stress One Moment at a Time


Dzung X. Vo - 2015
    If you're like many teens, you may have difficulty dealing with stress in effective ways. You aren’t alone, and there are things you can do to stay calm, no matter how stressful life becomes. All you need to do is stop, breathe, and be mindful and aware in the present moment. The Mindful Teen offers a unique program based in mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) and mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT) to help you deal with stress. The simple, practical, and easy-to-remember tips in this book can be used every day to help you handle any difficult situation more effectively—whether it’s taking a test at school, having a disagreement with your parents, or a problem you are having with friends. If you’re ready to uncover your own inner strength and resilience through mindful awareness and take charge of your life, this book will show you how.

No One's the Bitch: A Ten-Step Plan for the Mother and Stepmother Relationship


Jennifer Newcomb Marine - 2009
    Whether you just want to create a neutral, “business” partnership with the “other woman” in your life—or actually, gulp, become friends—they show you how to reach your goal through ten powerful steps.