Beavis and Butt-head give us their view of the world from A to Z in their own version of an encyclopedia--just in time for Christmas. Illustrated.

    Harry Pearson chose to head in the opposite direction for a country which is damp, safe and of legendary banality: Belgium. But can any nation whose most famous monument is a statue of a small boy urinating really be that dull? Pearson lived there for several months, burying himself in the local culture. He drank many of the 800 different beers the Belgians produce; ate local delicacies such as kip kap (jellied pig cheeks) and a mighty tonnage of chicory and chips. In one restaurant the house speciality was 'Hare in the style of grandmother'. 'I didn't order it. I quite like hare, but had no wish to see one wearing zip-up boots and a blue beret.' A Tall Man in a Low Land commemorates strange events such as The Festival of Shrimps at Oostduinkerke and laments the passing of the Underpant Museum in Brussels. No reader will go away from A Tall Man in a Low Land without being able to name at least ten famous Belgians. Mixing evocative description and low-grade buffoonery Harry Pearson paints a portrait of Belgium that is more rounded than a Smurf after a night on the mussels.

    guide addressing various scenarios, and everyday situations.

    Stumble for short.' 'Kim Jong-May awkward and incredulous as journalist asks question.' 'Supreme leader produces pure TV Valium on The One Show.' Throughout 2017 John Crace, the Guardian's parliamentary sketch writer, has watched Prime Minister Theresa May's efforts to remain strong and stable - and, indeed, Prime Minister. He coined the term 'Maybot' for her malfunctioning public appearances. And now, in this edited collection of his unremittingly witty sketches, he tells the full story of Theresa May's turbulent first year in Westminster. As waspishly hilarious as Craig Brown's diaries in Private Eye, I, Maybot is essential and hysterically funny reading for anyone trying to make sense of our crazy political year.

    As she was handed me by the midwife, my mother wept for all the wrong reasons. She could have shagged a platypus and I still would have come out better than this.So begins Jason Byrne's Adventures of a Wonky-Eyed Boy, a laugh-out-loud memoir that captures the childhood adventures of an accident-prone youngster in 1970s and 1980s suburban Dublin.It was a time when your brother persuaded you to eat the grease behind the cooker by telling you it was caramel, your house was blown up by lightning, your dad mixed up the toothpaste and the arse-cream, and you fell asleep on Sunday nights to the sound of one of the neighbours who were all named Paddy drunkenly singing Magic Moments in the good front room. All of this while trying to stop your wonky eye from giving the game away.Jason Byrne's childhood adventures are nostalgic, heart-warming and, above all, hilarious."When you read this you'll realise Jason might actually be the normal one in his family." John Bishop."I loved this book so much I wanted to cover it in wallpaper and write to all my pen pals about it!" Amy Huberman"A comedy god" The Mirror."Outright king of live comedy" The Times.

    For example, I was once pinned down by a young lad who repeatedly asked me why I was hitting myself, when he knew full well that I had temporarily ceded hegemony over my hands and forearms. I tried to explain it to him, but he didn’t seem to comprehend. In retrospect, I can only conclude that my explanation was not articulate enough.To that end, I and Phil Plait have teamed up to create precisely 128 insults designed to weaken the resolve of aggressors, while educating them in their primary field of interest. Whether the person pummeling you is a student of mathematics or belles-lettres, we have the right words for the occasion.Zach WeinersmithPS: In the highly likely situation that the person pummeling you refuses to cease his aggression until he understands the meaning of the insult, we have also provided an appendix in which the insults are explained.

    But not just any woman. A special kind of woman. One that is going to tell you every dirty little secret about what women want NOT what they say they want. I am an internationally known attraction, sex and dating expert and you may have seen me recently on Dr. Drew, Penthouse, CNN.com, Askmen.com, Mancow, The Huffington Post, Men's Health or heard me on tons of radio shows. I was recently voted #1 Wing Girl because I have helped thousands of great men like you discover how to make a woman want you so badly that she is willing to do anything to get you!I'm here to tell you about the little mistakes you may be making with women that you probably don't even realize your making. Mistakes that are instantly killing your chances of attracting beautiful, quality women into your life. Mistakes that women will never tell you you're making. Instead, they'll just screen your calls, flake on you and tell their girlfriends about. Mistakes that can easily be fixed by simply being aware that you are making them. This book will reveal the top mistakes men make with women and give you step by step instructions on how to avoid them. My 50 page guide book contains to lies, no "typical female advice", no tricks and scummy pick up artist techniques. It contains the most powerful, step-by-step information you need to get inside a woman and understand her like no man ever has before. Remember, a man who understands women will win the attention of any woman he wants. Become that man today!The Last Female Friend You'll Ever Need,Marni

    

    These are voluminous body of literature native to India concerning the previous births of Gautam Buddha. These are the stories that tell about the previous lives of the Buddha, in both human and animal form. The future Buddha may appear in them as a king, an outcast, a god, an elephant—but, in whatever form, he exhibits some virtue that the tale thereby inculcates.

    The book presents a lot of valuable phrases and sentences you will never think of unless you come across them. It contains plenty of common sentences used by native English speakers in everyday life. The book covers topics such as meeting new people and making small talk, dating and visiting friends, emergency situations and doctor’s appointments, car and flat rental, staying in hotels and traveling by air, shopping and bargaining.

    It also inspired us to come out with a delightful article, the ‘Indian Masketeers’, exploring Indian culture through its various masks. We also have ‘Dotty and the Albino Dragon’, the First Prize winning story in the Tinkle Original Story Competition. Moving on, we have three popular characters this issue, Shikari Shambu, Kalia the Crow and the Defective Detectives. Shambu goes on a rollicking ‘Jumbo Adventure in Assam’ while the Defective Detectives have a spine-chilling experience in ‘The Horror’. As for Kalia, can you imagine him, Chamataka and Doob Doob playing together? If you can’t, you should check out ‘Let’s Play a Game’. Next, enjoy a fun story by a reader, ‘Show Business’ in our Fan Fiction segment along with ‘Pranav’s Dadi and the Karate Kid’, where Dadi tries her hand at karate! And to wrap it up we have two diverse stories about two brave men who refused to give up. So check out ‘A Mighty Will’ and ‘No Crazy Ideas’. Enjoy!

    Well, technically more of a midriff crisis, if he’s honest. Still, the Dad-bod is ‘in’ these days, isn’t it?He needs a girlfriend. But even though he's constantly surrounded by women, he can't seem to escape from the friend-zone slammer.Keeping the kids alive and entertained, working all hours, and then spending half your income on shopping, aren’t easy things to deal with.Trying to find love and happiness is even harder. Those dreams of ‘happy ever after’ seem like an unreachable utopia. But that hasn’t stopped him trying.Will Danny ever find his special someone? Or will he live out his remaining decades in dismal celibacy? What if he’s been looking in all the wrong places? What if love is right around the corner and he doesn’t even realise?Dad lit at its cynical best - hilariously relatable.

    She wants to get out into the world, but she's held back by a lack of money, and by the fact that her parents constantly beg for her help. She needs a miracle.When Rosie discovers a strange set of bones on the moor, she realizes that her miracle might have arrived. The bones start talking to her, promising to help her achieve her dreams. Two archaeologists are searching for these bones, which belong to a long-dead warrior king whose ghostly presence prefers to stay hidden. If Rosie protects his body, this king will do anything she wants. But can Rosie stick to the terms of this deal, and what will happen if she doesn't?Rosie soon discovers that miracles come with strings attached. She thinks she's cursed to spend her entire life in the village, but the real curse might be something far worse, and far harder to escape.

    Eccentric or challenging guests are the usual order of the day. But when a sinister man moves in across the road, the first ripples of unease appear.Katie has learned the hard way that a seaside idyll is never what it seems. She and Jason have worked hard at their marriage, but now she has other issues to tackle.While her new cleaner has proved to be a godsend, she comes with a complicated love life. Then there’s Katie and Jason’s daughters, Emily and Lucy, whose boomerang visits definitely have an ulterior motive.And what about the threatening man opposite who has taken an intense dislike to Shona, the madcap owner of the adjoining B&B. Shona’s life has always been chaotic, but now it’s verging on disaster.As the season moves on and guests come and go, Katie fears her daughters have been keeping secrets of their own, while Shona’s troubles come to a head.When the B&Bers are behaving madly, anything can happen. Can Katie weather the storm?

    Returning to the island to work on a rare piano belonging to her Greek friend Alexia, she finds her dreams haunted by memories of Hilary; a young English girl raped and murdered ten years before. Val determines to uncover the truth about the case, and set to rest her own doubts about the involvement of her father, Yiannis, and half-brother, Markos, both policemen who were involved in the original investigation. Joined by her friend Harry, Val begins to unravel the threads. When two strange tokens arrive, one for Alexia's daughter Chloe and one for Val, it becomes clear that Hilary's unknown killer is on Val's trail. Her search for the truth becomes a race for life.