The nightmarish effects of the most depressing holiday song of all time. A virtual reality environment that allows you to enact your most depraved fantasies…sort of. A cheerful snack mascot who snaps under the pressure. Giant mutant cockroaches doing battle with zombies in the Old West. An unnerving discovery in the Book of Revelations. The true secret of silent comedian Buster Keaton's success. Plus a Halloween curse, a lot of psychopaths, and much more!Often hilarious, frequently gruesome, and sometimes just flat-out wrong to the point where laughing at them presents a moral quandary, Candy Coated Madness is Strand at his demented best!Table of contents...Virtual Reality Kill ZoneGood DeedsCaptain Pistachio's Charming RampageThe Last Thing You Want To BeLab Experiment Turf WarNo TomatoClyde the NecrophileDon't Make Fun of the Haunted HouseIvan's Night OutPointy CanesGiant Mutant Cockroaches in the Old West Vs. ZombiesOutpouringSmashing JacksFaerieGreen SuitsThe FraudHostileThe Great Stone Face Vs. The GargoylesParodyAwakeningDismemberment FraudBeware! The! Beverage!Rotten EggsGave Up The GhostDecember BirthdayMy Werewolf Neighbor

    Her clothes are filthy, her appearance disheveled. She has no purse, no wallet, no luggage, but her back pocket is stuffed with hundred dollar bills. She's also carrying a credit card belonging to Jack Russell, the town's most eligible bachelor, who hasn't been seen for a month.Claiming to be Jack's fiance', Emma immediately moves into his expensive lake house. The local sheriff gets a bad feeling that only turns worse when he discovers Emma's ID belongs to a dead woman.

     One family. A tiny flat in Notting Hill. A beautiful neighbour. A very angry dog. A horny Welshman. An enormous turkey. On the biggest day of the year. What could possibly go wrong? Meet Ben Canterbury, 29, single, lives in a poky flat in Notting Hill with horny Welshman, Rufus. His life has been one disappointment after another. What makes it worse is that his brother, Jamie, is the complete opposite - a Barrister to Ben’s Barista - with a family and a proper house in Twickenham. In an attempt to compete with his perfect brother, Ben insists he hosts the family Christmas, but it isn’t long before he realises he’s way out of his depth. Ben’s flat isn't big enough for everyone (including one very angry dog), the Christmas tree’s from the £1 shop, the decorations are hung with Blu-Tack, and the turkey might not fit in the oven. Ben’s definitely not feeling the Christmas spirit. But when beautiful new neighbour, Mhairi McGregor, appears at his door, Ben’s Christmas worries go out of the window and he begins to wonder if it might not be the worst Christmas in history after all. Amid all the drama, drinking and carnage of Christmas Day, will Ben find true love or will it be another disappointment to add to the list? A Notting Hill Christmas is a brilliantly funny, feel-good, festive novella perfect for fans of romantic comedies like Love Actually and Notting Hill.

    This book will take you back to the holidays you had as a kid and remind you of the ones you've had with your own family or friends or even the ones where you've flown solo. Holidays are the runway to possibilities - a romantic sunset, the spare seat at breakfast being taken by an attractive stranger, a miraculous airline upgrade - or missing bags, unfortunate rashes and wrong turns that lead to places you definitely did not intend to go. Whether you are away from home and somewhere exotic or just in your own backyard on a lilo in an above-ground pool, whatever happens, you know that life is sweet because you're on HOLIDAYS. Whatever kind of holiday you've got planned, make sure you pack this warm and funny celebration of Australia's favourite national pastime. PRAISE for William McInnes's previous books: 'skilfully constructed...insightful, understated and very funny' Sydney Morning Herald on "The Laughing Clowns"'The Making of Modern Australia is a ripper' The Canberra Times'William McInnes compels with the sheer delightfulness of his memoir, and with his fine ability to spin a damn funny yarn' Sunday Telegraph on "A Man's Got To Have a Hobby"'funny and clever' Daily Telegraph on "That'd Be Right"'A big-hearted novel with character' Sunday Telegraph on "Cricket Kings"

    Now, a selection of her new work is brought together in this one-off collection, which reminds us...Sometimes it is OK to be silly.Silly Me is The Pound Project's first book written and drawn entirely by an illustrator.

    This time there are no suave, wise-cracking good guys, no humorless, drug-addled bad guys. The story I want to tell you is all about how I learned to sleep at night, to close my eyes without seeing cold places and dead eyes… how I dragged whatever was left of me up out of the dark, finally. That’s the story I want to tell, because that’s the story I need to hear. I want to know how it ends..."Returning to normal life after his dark days in the depths of the Jianghu hasn't been easy for Randall Lee. With big changes coming in his future, though, Randall offers to help rehabilitate an injured friend, only to find that the need for healing goes far deeper than he ever expected. Bridging the events of Jianghu and the upcoming Randall Lee Mystery, The Art of War, Eating Bitter is a quiet story of resilience and perseverance, punctuated with Randall's trademark humor and self-deprecation.

    But he discovers that there is more than a ghost causing mayhem. The Mansion is a fast-paced supernatural story about 10,000 words long.

    A simple touch sending currents of electricity flowing through a body. The feeling of coming home. Friends become lovers. Strangers become soulmates. The chemistry ignited when two people are falling in love is undeniable. Over the course of five short stories, follow these couples on journeys of passion and discover what happens when they decide to let sparks fly…

    It is time to rewrite the stories. We are no longer the hero’s love interest. Neither do we believe in happily ever after. We do not wish to dance to anybody else’s tunes. We choose our path. We make mistakes. We learn from them. We love. We lose. We age. We evolve. These are stories of women. Different women. For we cannot and should not stereotype women. These stories are of relationships. These stories touch upon social issues. These stories may inspire you. These stories make you feel like you are not alone. These stories may surprise you. These stories may entertain you. I hope everybody would be able to pick something they like.

    As if one book of this sort of thing wasn't enough... It's history, but not as we know it. England, 1067-ish and the King’s grip is tight. His Earls of Northumbria will keep dying though. Every time he appoints one, someone sticks something in them, or sets light to them. Something is going on and he has a strong suspicion who's behind it. If he's right, it could mean real trouble. In Viking Vinland, the man who would be king awaits rescue - and waits. If no one else is going to do it, he will just have to rescue himself. There's only a bit of sea to cross, he will sail home and take his throne by force. Although he might need a bit of help. And then there are the Danes and the Scots who have their own ideas. If Volume I is anything to go by, this situation is a recipe for disaster. And if you’ve got the recipe, you might as well make a disaster. The text books would have you believe that everything in the past was carefully planned and organised. That the leaders of the time were clear in their aims and decisive in their actions. That the people knew what great events they were living through. No one made mistakes, no one incompetent ever got to be in charge and above all, no one ever had a laugh. All that changed with Howard of Warwick. The 16th book to do things to history that it never asked for, returns to the aftermath of the most famous date ever. 1066. Well, the year after actually, no one ever talks about that - and with good reason, it was chaos. Caution: contains facts. What they said of The Domesday Book (No, Not That One) ‘Had me chuckling the whole way through,’ Discovering Diamonds. 5* ‘Brilliantly humorous,’ 5* ‘A laugh riot,’

    

    EarthCent's diplomats are learning on the job - but the galaxy doesn't come with instructions. Get a running start on the funny and heartwarming Union Station series with a three book bundle at the special introductory price. Kelly Frank is EarthCent's top diplomat on Union Station, but her job description has always been a bit vague. The pay is horrible and she's in hock up to her ears for her furniture, which is likely to end up in a corridor because she's behind on rent for her room. Sometimes she has to wonder if the career she has put ahead of her personal life for fifteen years is worth it. When Kelly receives a gift subscription to the dating service that's rumored to be powered by the same benevolent artificial intelligence that runs the huge station, she decides to swallow her pride and give it a shot. But as her dates go from bad to worse, she can only hope that the supposedly omniscient AI is planning a happy ending.

    A right comedy of errors if ever there was one. If you're looking for her beauty secrets and fashion ideas you've come to the right place. Read of her intimate sex life, her secrets for staying young and how she keeps her man - just. A fly-on-the wall true account of the life of a romantic comedy novelist, written in her own words. It's all here, the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Publisher Note: We are not responsible for any of the advice given in this book. If you do not look like Lynda after reading this we cannot be held accountable. Warning: Tena Pads recommended while reading.

    Wells, Conan Doyle, Washington Irving and many more. Hailing from different countries such as America, Ireland, the United Kingdom and India, this book is an entertaining consolidation of diverse stories which cover a broad range of topics and themes. While ‘The Gift of the Magi’ resonates with the sense of love and loss, ‘The Selfish Giant’ and ‘Rip Van Winkle’ relives our childhood. Some stories warm your heart, some make you think and some delight you with their magical language while at the same time they explore universal themes and arouse a gamut of responses. A must-have, this book offers a plethora of classics to read and enjoy for any lover of a good story.

    Nishan Joshi's "My Grandma's Bag of Stories" is delightful and at the same time enjoyable. This book is a collection of 40 moral stories, ideal for young children and those who are 5+ in age. Simple and lucid language of the book, makes reading a pleasure. Each story ends with a powerful message which can be interpreted in various ways and will help you expand the horizons of your mind. This book guides one on the correct path by enlightening with age old morals interlaced with new age stories. I hope you will imbibe the morals and apply them in your day to day life. You can read more moral stories on Nishant’s website: www.nishantindia.com.