Book picks similar to
Dictionary of Humorous Quotations by Evan Esar
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Dirty Russian: Everyday Slang from "What's Up?" to "F*%# Off!"
Erin Coyne - 2009
Damn, you fine!blin, nu ti i shi-KAR-nii! Let's have an orgy.da-VAI u-STRO-im OR-gi-yu. This is crappy vodka.d-ta VOD-ka khre-NO-va-ya. Let's go get hammered.poi-DYOM bukh-NYOM. I'm gonna own you, bitch!ya te-BYA VI-ye-blyu!
323 Disturbing Facts about Our World
Nayden Kostov - 2020
One of the chapters in each trivia book was “Disturbing Facts about Our World”. I decided to fill an entire volume with facts about upsetting crimes and mayhem, combined with unbelievable yet real instances of misfortune and misery. This is a book where grim examples of bigotry and hypocrisy are intertwined with amusing stories of bad luck. In the spirit of the times we live in, I dedicated a whole chapter to COVID-19 trivia and weird medical conditions. I am well aware that many potential readers might be overwhelmed by the condensed negativity, but hey… a fact is a fact! Continue to read if you are curious to learn:- Why were the trousers of New Zealand’s farmers exploding?- What is the depressing origin of the phrase “Hip Hip, Hooray”?- Why did the Spanish Habsburgs royal family sleep with human mummies?- Why was it legal in Iceland until 2015 to kill Basque people?- Who was the “Deep Throat” informer from the Watergate scandal?- How many people were killed trying to cross the notorious Berlin Wall?- Why do snakes make a better pet than cats or dogs?- How can millipedes cause a train crash?- What is the etymology of “thug”?- What are the chances of getting killed by rubbish falling from space?- How did polygamist men in Kuwait manage to visit all their wives during the coronavirus lockdown?However incredible these pieces of trivia might sound, all entries have been verified and fact-checked.
2⁷ Nerd Disses: A Significant Quantity of Disrespect
Zach Weinersmith - 2013
For example, I was once pinned down by a young lad who repeatedly asked me why I was hitting myself, when he knew full well that I had temporarily ceded hegemony over my hands and forearms. I tried to explain it to him, but he didn’t seem to comprehend. In retrospect, I can only conclude that my explanation was not articulate enough.To that end, I and Phil Plait have teamed up to create precisely 128 insults designed to weaken the resolve of aggressors, while educating them in their primary field of interest. Whether the person pummeling you is a student of mathematics or belles-lettres, we have the right words for the occasion.Zach WeinersmithPS: In the highly likely situation that the person pummeling you refuses to cease his aggression until he understands the meaning of the insult, we have also provided an appendix in which the insults are explained.
CLOUGH GOLD
Dave Armitage - 2014
Ex-players, close friends, journalists, managers and former colleagues reveal their astonishing brushes with the greatest football manager England never had. The stories are cherry-picked from two acclaimed books - 150BC: Cloughie the Inside Stories and Clough: Confidential. An additional 242 stories can be found in these two volumes. So, enter the whirlwind world of Old Big 'Ead and prepare to be entertained.
Road Atlas Large Scale
Rand McNally & Company - 2015
Updated atlas contains maps of every U.S. state that are 35% larger than the standard atlas version plus over 350 detailed city inset and national park maps and a comprehensive, unabridged index. Road construction projects and updates highlighted for every state and conveniently located above the maps. Contains mileage chart showing distances between 77 North American cities and national parks with driving times map. Tough spiral binding allows the book to lay open easily. Other Features Best of the Road - Our editor's favorite road trips from our Best of the Road collection follows scenic routes along stretches of coastline, both east and west, to forests mountains, and prairies; and through small towns and big cities. For a weekend or a week there's something for everyone. Tell Rand! As much as we work to keep our atlases up to date, conditions change quickly and new construction projects begin frequently. If you know of something we haven't captured in our atlas, let us know at randmcnally.com/tellrand. Tourism websites and phone numbers for every U.S. state and Canadian province on map pages
The Ultimate Bathroom Reader: Interesting Stories, Fun Facts and Just Crazy Weird Stuff to Keep You Entertained on the Crapper! (Perfect Gag Gift)
Bill O'Neill - 2021
The Bro Code
Matt Kuhn - 2008
Some call it morality. Others call it religion. But Bros in the know call this holy grail the Bro Code.Historically a spoken tradition passed from one generation to the next, the official code of conduct for Bros appears here in its published form for the first time ever. By upholding the tenets of this sacred and legendary document, any dude can learn to achieve Bro-dom.
Before You Get Your Puppy
Ian Dunbar - 2011
"BEFORE You Get Your Puppy" covers the first three developmental deadlines covering the period of puppy selection until your puppy's first week at home. 1st Developmental Deadline: Your Education About Puppy Education - Before you search for a puppy you need to complete your education about puppy education. You need to know how to select a good puppy and how puppies work. Selecting a puppy is similar to selecting a car: Do lots of research beforehand and "test drive" a wide variety. But first, you need to learn how to drive. 2nd Developmental Deadline: Evaluating Your Prospective Puppy's Progress - Before you choose your puppy, you need to know how to assess your prospective puppy's current socialization and educational status. Regardless of breed or breeding, if socialization, housetraining, and basic manners are not well underway by eight weeks of age, the puppy is already developmentally retarded. 3rd Developmental Deadline: Errorless Housetraining & Chewtoy-Training Make certain that an errorless housetraining and chewtoy-training program is instituted from the very first day your puppy comes home.
Damn You Autocorrect! 2
Lyndsey Saul - 2013
Ever been mortified by predictive text on your smart phone? You are not alone. This brings together more of the laugh-out-loud funny and painfully embarrassing posts from damnyouautocorrect.com, which highlight the hilarity that often ensues when text messaging goes wrong. This second volume of epic auto-correct fails is packed with never-before-seen content, as well as the most cringe-worthy posts from the site.
The Perfectly Useless Book of Useless Information: You'll Never Need to Know Anything That's in This Book...But Read It Anyway
Don Voorhees - 2010
Frank Sinatra's mother was a convicted felon. Bugs Bunny was born in Brooklyn. The average American home contains $90 in loose change. It is illegal to use the American flag in advertising.And there's no good reason to also discover...Which game show host previously worked as a garbageman. Which day of week is the most popular to rob a bank. Which millionaire loaned his kidnapped grandson ransom money at 4 percent interest. Which country once had a dog for a king.
How to Write the Perfect Resume: Stand Out, Land Interviews, and Get the Job You Want
Dan Clay - 2018
As you read through the job description, your excitement builds as you realize that the job is a perfect fit! Not wasting another second, you fill out the application, attach your resume, and hold your breath as you hit “Apply.” Then you wait. And wait. And wait some more. Weeks go by without hearing so much as a peep, and before long you’ve given up hope on what seemed like a match made in heaven. Sound familiar? You’re not alone! On average there are 250 resumes submitted for every job opening, which means that 99.6% of applicants will fail to land the jobs they apply for. To get the job you want, you don’t just need a great resume--you need an outstanding resume, one that puts you in the top 1% of candidates for the job. That means ditching the same old advice you’ve been following with little results and adopting a tried-and-true process for getting your resume noticed in even the most competitive situations. In this book, Dan Clay breaks down the exact method he’s carefully developed over a period of ten years and provides a precise, step-by-step set of instructions for crafting the perfect resume, down to the last period. Unlike the dime-a-dozen recruiters turned career coaches who have never had to put themselves on the line in today’s brutally competitive job market, Dan offers practical, real-world experience gained from applying for and getting job offers from some of the most prestigious, competitive companies in the world. And when it comes to something as important as your career, don’t you deserve to learn from someone who’s actually succeeded at doing what you’re hoping to do? Of course you do! Here are some of the things you’ll learn about how to transform your resume from average to awe-inspiring: How to handle tricky pitfalls like extended time off or unemployment and have your resume come out as strong as ever How to make your accomplishments sound dramatically more impressive without having to tell a single lie How to remove the guesswork about what to include in your resume and build it to the exacting specifications of your target job's requirements How to pass the four tests that companies will put your resume through with flying colors How to strike the perfect composition of content, white space, and page length to accentuate and differentiate your strengths How to avoid the common (and not so common) resume mistakes that leave your resume dead on arrival How to tell a powerful story that demonstrates your capabilities in a way that will knock the socks off anyone reading it How to stand out without resorting to cheap tricks that come off as cheesy or over-the-top PLUS, you’ll also gain access to a free companion website containing fully editable resume templates, a perfect resume checklist, and other bonus materials to give you everything you need to create a stunning resume that will get you noticed and land you interviews. Whether you’re a new graduate looking for your first job, a career veteran angling for your next move, a recent victim of a layoff, or someone looking to dip their toes back int
The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary
Ambrose Bierce - 1911
There, a bore is "a person who talks when you wish him to listen," and happiness is "an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another." This is the most comprehensive, authoritative edition ever of Ambrose Bierce’s satiric masterpiece. It renders obsolete all other versions that have appeared in the book’s ninety-year history.A virtual onslaught of acerbic, confrontational wordplay, The Unabridged Devil’s Dictionary offers some 1,600 wickedly clever definitions to the vocabulary of everyday life. Little is sacred and few are safe, for Bierce targets just about any pursuit, from matrimony to immortality, that allows our willful failings and excesses to shine forth.This new edition is based on David E. Schultz and S. T. Joshi’s exhaustive investigation into the book’s writing and publishing history. All of Bierce’s known satiric definitions are here, including previously uncollected, unpublished, and alternative entries. Definitions dropped from previous editions have been restored while nearly two hundred wrongly attributed to Bierce have been excised. For dedicated Bierce readers, an introduction and notes are also included.Ambrose Bierce’s Devil’s Dictionary is a classic that stands alongside the best work of satirists such as Twain, Mencken, and Thurber. This unabridged edition will be celebrated by humor fans and word lovers everywhere.
The Warlizard Chronicles
Warlizard - 2011
Now I know why my dog likes her better. 2. I wish this were the worst thing she’d ever told me. About the book In “The Warlizard Chronicles”, Warlizard tells the tales of a misspent youth, from the story of his “dog-gasmic” ex-fiancée to the logic of serving as a German linguist in Iraq. The stories are light, fast-paced, graphic, and not remotely safe for work. You have been warned. Reader feedback: - “You tell all women that story? You should wash out your mouth!” - “I think I could listen to your stories for hours.” - “So you owe your marriage to the people who brought down the world trade center?” - “I have nothing else I can add or ask, except MORE STORIES.” - “Holy s**t. I wish I was you.” - “You slept with another man's wife and then lied to him about it, and can say with a straight face it was the right thing to do?” - “Godda***t, I spewed out laughter too loud at work, now I have to leave because everyone knows I'm not doing s**t. F*** this is hilarious, and disconcerting, at the same time.” - “He is the most interesting man in the world.” - “I feel like a failure reading these stories, they're awesome.” - “Your life experience makes me feel good. You good sir are somewhat of a new idol of mine. Nothing much you can do about that. Have a good day sir.” - “Warlizard doesn't always drink beer, but when he does, he prefers Dos Equis.” - “I just can't wrap my mind around the fact that not only a story like this exists but that a Reddit regular would be living it. And it kinda has this enthusiastic ‘and then it happened...’ moments in it that kinda style like you'd write fiction on the go.” - “This guy is either the most creative man in the world or the most interesting man in the world. Either way...”
How to Be a Villain: Evil Laughs, Secret Lairs, Master Plans, and More!!!
Neil Zawacki - 2003
Because, though villains may never win, they sure have more fun, hatching master plans for world domination, smoothing their dastardly tights. Neil Zawacki answers all the most urgent questions: Should I go with a black or red theme? Do I invest in an army of winged monkeys or ninja warriors? And just where will I put the evil hideout? Whether readers choose to pursue a career as a Criminal Mastermind, Mad Scientist, Corporate Bastard, or just a Wanna-be Evil Genius, they are sure to find plenty of tips for jumpstarting any evil enterprise. Cheaper than attending the annual bad guy conference and way more fun than being good, How to Be a Villain is guaranteed to elicit deep-throated evil laughs across the land.
Earth (The Book): A Visitor's Guide to the Human Race
Jon StewartJ.R. Havlan - 2010
Where do we come from? Who created us? Why are we here? These questions have puzzled us since the dawn of time, but when it became apparent to Jon Stewart and the writers of The Daily Show that the world was about to end, they embarked on a massive mission to write a book that summed up the human race: What we looked like; what we accomplished; our achievements in society, government, religion, science and culture -- all in a tome of approximately 256 pages with lots of color photos, graphs and charts. After two weeks of hard work, they had their book. EARTH (The Book) is the definitive guide to our species. With their trademark wit, irreverence, and intelligence, Stewart and his team will posthumously answer all of life's most hard-hitting questions, completely unburdened by objectivity, journalistic integrity, or even accuracy. Also available as an ebook and as an audiobook.