Join the League. . . .   Anastasia is a completely average almost-eleven-year-old. That is, UNTIL her parents die in a tragic vacuum-cleaner accident. UNTIL she’s rescued by two long-lost great-aunties. And UNTIL she’s taken to their delightful and, er, “authentic” Victorian home, St. Agony’s Asylum for the Criminally Insane.But something strange is going on at the asylum. Anastasia soon begins to suspect that her aunties are not who they say they are. So when she meets Ollie and Quentin, two mysterious brothers, the three join together to plot their great escape!

    And ended with . . . well, if we told you that, it wouldn’t be a mystery! But in between The Scream and The Very Surprising Ending, three friends find themselves on a scavenger hunt set up for a girl they never met, in search of a legendary ring reputed to grant wishes. Are these sleuths in school uniforms modern-day equivalents of Nancy, Harriet, or Scooby? Not really, they’re just three nice girls who decide to help out a weird lady, and end up hiding under tables, tackling word puzzles and geometry equations, and searching rather moldy storage rooms for “the stuff that dreams are made of” (that’s from an old detective movie). Oh, and there’s A Boy, who complicates things. As boys often do.Intrigued? The Red Blazer Girls offers a fun, twisty adventure for those who love mystery, math (c’mon, admit it!), and a modest measure of mayhem.Michael Beil, a New York City high school English teacher, makes his literary debut with this fun and brainy mystery.

    Dumped in Paris by the Countess Carbunkle, who would rather run away to South America than continue in Ivy's companionship, our young heroine (of sorts) finds herself with no money and no home to go to ... until she is summoned to the bedside of the dying Duchess of Trinity. For the princely sum of £500 (enough to buy a carriage, and possibly a monkey), Ivy agrees to courier the Duchess's most precious possession – the Clock Diamond – to England, and to put it around the neck of the revolting Matilda Butterfield on her twelfth birthday. It's not long before Ivy finds herself at the heart of a conspiracy involving mischief, mayhem and murder. Illustrated in humorous gothic detail by Barbara Cantini, Anyone But Ivy Pocket is just the beginning of one girl's deadly comic journey to discover who she really is ..'

    But that was before he inherited twenty billion pounds, a Caribbean island, a yacht, and three estates from a great-aunt he never knew. With this fortune, however, comes a letter. One from his great-aunt Geraldine. One that tells Gerald that she was murdered, and that it's up to him to find out why.Along with his friends Ruby and Sam, Gerald embarks on a journey that will lead him from the British Museum to dodgy social clubs for the disgustingly rich to mansions in the English countryside to secret places far underground. Who was Geraldine Archer? And what secrets was she hiding? Unless Gerald, Sam, and Ruby can find out before the killer does, they may be next.

    Sure, he’s always been a little bit different—his tusk isn’t as long, he’s not as good of a swimmer, and he really doesn’t enjoy the cuisine. Then one night, an extra strong current sweeps Kelp to the surface, where he spots a mysterious creature that looks just like him! Kelp discovers that he and the creature are actually unicorns. The revelation leaves him torn: is he a land narwhal or a sea unicorn? But perhaps, if Kelp is clever, he may find a way to have the best of both worlds.

     TV journalist Elizabeth “E. M.” Danniher will tell you she committed two sins — she didn’t stay young, and she made an enemy of a powerful news executive — her ex. She used to break national news. Now her top story as the “Helping Out!” reporter at dinky KWMT-TV in Sherman,Wyoming is getting a refund for a defective toaster. Tough, funny and determined, Elizabeth wrestles with isolation, keeping a professional edge, and an evolving self-image. Is Wyoming — the land of cattle, cowboys, tumbleweeds, and fewer than six people per square mile — her new home or a road to permanent obscurity? Soon she’s in a battle of wills with ex-football player turned journalist Mike Paycik, who sees her as a handy rung on his career ladder. And there’s the matter of a deputy sheriff—missing or murdered? Elizabeth finds herself investigating at the insistence of a girl who’s set on proving her father’s innocence. Not that enigmatic rancher Thomas David Burrell makes investigating easy. But Elizabeth won’t fade to black without a fight, no matter how final some might want to make her SIGN OFF. Don’t miss any of the Caught Dead in Wyoming series by USA Today bestselling author Patricia McLinn:Sign OffLeft HangingShoot FirstLast DitchLook LiveBack StoryCold OpenHot Roll

    A. White. Perfect for fans of Stranger Things, Neil Gaiman, and Adam Gidwitz.Cordelia Liu knew Shadow School was going to be different. Black gates and ivied walls. Long hallways lined with old paintings. A tower with a window that looks like an eye. Different she expected; different she could handle. Still, Cordelia can’t shake the feeling that something’s not right—and that she’s being carefully watched.The answer isn’t just in front of her eyes—it’s in her gym, next to the bulletin board, even in the cafeteria. The school grounds are filled with ghosts. Cordelia soon realizes she’s not the only one who can see them; her new friend Benji can too. Together with supersmart Agnes, the trio are determined to find out why the ghosts are there, and whether there’s a way to set them free. But the school was created with more sinister intentions, and someone is willing to go to extreme lengths to ensure that the ghosts remain trapped forever.

    It also includes some fun games and puzzles. Laughing and jokes have been proven to have positive mental and physical effects on the body! This books is especially great for long trips, waiting rooms, and reading aloud at home. 101 funny jokes for kids Excellent for early readers Includes fun games and puzzles Hours of fun and entertainment for kids and children Great for long trips, waiting rooms, and reading aloud Short jokes, cheesy jokes, animal jokes, and MORE! * BONUS INCLUDED * ==> FREE Joke Book Download 100+ Funny Jokes (see link inside)Download a free joke book with purchase of this book! From this Funny Joke Book... Q: What do cars do at a party?A: Brake dance! HAHA! Q: Where do snowmen keep their money?A: In a snow bank! LOL! Q: Why did the weather want privacy?A: It was changing! HAHA! Q: What did the drink machine say when a quarter got stuck?A: Money is tight these days! LOL! Q: What did the stamp say to the letter?A: I’ve become attached to you! HAHA! Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor?A: He was feeling crummy! Best-Selling Author ~ Johnny B. Laughing The Joke King is back with another hilarious joke book full of funny, laugh-out-loud, crazy comedy and MASSIVE assortment of awesome jokes for children of all ages, teens, and adults. This awesome joke book for kids is easy to read and full of laughs!WARNING: This funny joke book will cause you to laugh hysterically! Scroll up and click 'buy' to start laughing today! 100% Money Back GuaranteeTags: jokes for kids, books for kids, children's books, funny joke, funny jokes, lol, jokes, food, joke book, knock knock book, ebook, books, funny, knock knock jokes, ebooks, funny jokes, kids, haha, hilarious, children, joke, kid, funny jokes for children, kids books, childrens books, childrens book, kids book, kids books, funny knock knock jokes, joke book, food book, joke books, hilarious, lol, laughing, laughter, knock knock, funny jokes, funny joke book, book for kids, kindle book, kindle ebook, joke, jokes, jokes for kids, jokes for children, knock knock jokes, knock knock jokes for kids, funny jokes, jokes online, comedy, humor, early reader, beginning reader, laugh, laughter, funniest jokes, ages5-12, ages 6-8, ages 9-12, comedy, humor, preteen, young adult laughing, kids comedy, jokes, jokes and pranks, jokes for kids, jokes for kids, kids jokes, jokes for children, books for kids, knock knock jokes, joke books for kids, childrens books online, kids jokes, kids joke book, ebooks, cheesy jokes, short jokes, dog jokes, cat jokes, sports jokes, great jokes

    He is far too nice and jumbly. It's lucky for Sophie that he is. Had she been carried off in the middle of the night by the Bloodbottler, the Fleshlumpeater, the Bonecruncher, or any of the other giants-rather than the BFG-she would have soon become breakfast. When Sophie hears that they are flush-bunking off in England to swollomp a few nice little chiddlers, she decides she must stop them once and for all. And the BFG is going to help her!

    It's a trait she's inherited from her mother's side of the family, like blue eyes or straight hair. And it's a trait she could do without, because what twelve-year-old wants to be caught talking to someone invisible?It is convenient, though, after Belladonna's parents are killed in a car accident. They can live with her the same as always, watching the same old TV shows in their same old house. Nothing has changed . . . until everything changes.One night, with no warning, they vanish into thin air--along with every other ghost in the world. It's what some people think ghosts are supposed to do, but Belladonna knows it's all wrong. They may not be living, but they're not supposed to be gone.With the help of her classmate Steve, a master of sneaking and spying, Belladonna is left to uncover what's become of the spirits and to navigate a whole world her parents have kept well-hidden. If she can't find her way, she'll lose them again--this time for good.

    He freaks.Desperate to resurrect his career at Teleco Wireless, he conjures up an international scheme filled with the promise of endless high-spending clients. It's brilliant, it's successful, and it involves doing business with organized crime.But soon those closest to him find themselves caught up in his dangerous plan and one of these unknowingly has the power to destroy him. Darby must now make a tough decision––give up on the one good idea he ever had or risk it all.

    But when Bean plays a joke on her sister, Nancy, and has to hide quickly, Ivy comes to the rescue, proving that sometimes the best of friends are people never meant to like each other. Vibrant characters and lots of humor make this a charming and addictive introduction to Ivy and Bean.

    On one of their midnight stakeouts, they witness a terrifying, bloody scene at the home of their bizarre middle-school counselor, Dr. Charlotte Agford (aka Dr. Awkward). At least, they think they do. The truth is that Dr. Agford was only making her famous pickled beets! But when Dr. Agford begins acting even weirder than usual, Sophie and Grace become convinced that she’s hiding something—and they’re determined to find out what it is. Soon the girls are breaking secret codes, being followed by a strange blue car, and tailing strangers with unibrows and Texas accents. But as their investigation heats up, Sophie and Grace start to crack under the pressure. They might solve their case, but will their friendship survive?Perfect for fans of The Mysterious Benedict Society, The Wig in the Window is a smart, funny middle-grade mystery with a REAR WINDOW twist.

    Except for Ruler and Pencil Sharpener, none of the other school supplies seem to appreciate her. They all love how sharp Pencil is and how Tape and Glue help everyone stick together. Eraser wants to create so that she can shine like the others. She decides to give it a try, but it’s not until the rubber meets the road that Eraser begins to understand a whole lot about herself.Inspired by a school essay their daughter Kate wrote in the third grade, the author and illustrator behind Theodor Seuss Geisel Award–winner You Are (Not) Small have created a desktop drama about figuring out who you are, finding happiness, and the importance of second, third, and maybe even fourth chances.

    But what really terrified those bad men was that peculiar gun of his. It didn't shoot bullets. It shot light. And Larry always aimed for the heart. Can Larry save the town of Brimstone from Evil-Eye McNeevil's outlaw gang? Find out in this rip-roaring original tale of a gunfighter with a huge smile and a hankering for lemonade. TEACHERS AND LIBRARIANS -- A READER'S THEATER SCRIPT OF THIS BOOK IS AVAILABLE IN AARON'S BOOK -STORIES ON STAGE, - OR FREE ON AARON'S WEB SITE. ///////////////////////////////////////////////// Aaron Shepard is the award-winning author of -The Baker's Dozen, - -The Sea King's Daughter, - -The Monkey King, - and many more children's books. His stories have appeared often in Cricket magazine, while his Web site is known internationally as a prime resource for folktales, storytelling, and reader's theater. Once a professional storyteller, Aaron specializes in lively retellings of folktales and other traditional literature, which have won him honors from the American Library Association, the New York Public Library, the Bank Street College of Education, the National Council for the Social Studies, and the American Folklore Society. Toni Goffe is the British illustrator of numerous well-loved children's books and is a winner of the 1993 Gold Medallion Book Award. He is also illustrator of Aaron's -The Legend of Slappy Hooper.- ///////////////////////////////////////////////// -One of the books every boy should have on his bookshelf; girls will probably like the story too . . . The language is perfect, [with] the right dose of silliness to make both parents and children chuckle . . . The illustrations are ideal.- -- Cindi Rose, San Francisco Examiner, Aug. 20, 2012 -A tall-tale superhero for our time. . . . A readaloud that could lighten up classes well up in the elementary grades.- -- Kirkus Reviews, Mar. 1, 1993 -Pass out the bandanas and dig out the spittoon. Read this story in an old-timer's voice, and everyone will have a good time.- -- Chris Sherman, American Library Association Booklist, Mar. 1, 1993 -Move over Wyatt Earp. Make room for a cowboy of a different caliber. A wide age range of listeners will request this one again and again.- -- School Library Journal, Nov. 1993 -A rib-tickler. . . . Kids will enjoy acting this out as readers theatre.- -- Jan Lieberman, TNT, Spring 1993 -Lovely. . . . Should reach the tickly bone of youngsters.- -- Storyline, June 1993 -Perfect for telling or reading out loud.- -- Katy Rydell, Stories, Spring 1993 -My class loved this story. Great to use when introducing tall tales.- -- D. Peccianti, Reviews of All Resources (Monterey Peninsula United School District) -Introduces one amazing cowpoke. . . . Will have young listeners laughing out loud and asking you to 'read it again.'- -- Smithsonian, Nov. 1993 -Told in the spirited language of a true yarn-spinner, this is a rollicking picture book to warm the heart of just about everyone.- -- Kids' Line, Summer 1993