Overpaid. Ungrateful. Removed from reality. These words are often used to describe modern day footballers. None of them apply to Jon Parkin. The South Yorkshire boy has seen and done it all in a footballing life that peaked with promotion to the Premier League and plummeted to the National League North, taking in spells with no fewer than 14 different clubs. His story is one of a natural goalscorer whose talent is always in demand. His unconventional frame and liking for a lager or ten meant pre-season was always a struggle. His straight-talking style and knack of finding himself in trouble resulted in countless bust-ups with managers. But when patience, cash or contracts ran out, there was always another club ready to take a chance on him. Along the way there have been battles with booze, betting and depression. Marital breakdown and brushes with the law didn’t help, while thousands of motorway miles were covered in a bid to stay in touch with his Barnsley roots and his beloved son. There’s also been plenty of mischief. One holidaymaker in Magaluf won’t easily forget what she found in Parkin’s bath while there’s a golf towel in a hospital car park that nobody would want to find. FEED THE BEAST will feed your curiosity about the real life of a footballer.

    We promise to make you laugh and give you that much needed break in the middle of all the crazy.We have partnered with the most talented bunch of moms and dads to bring you the best, the funniest, and the most outrageous stories to get you from girth to birth.Are you having strange cravings? Have you asked yourself what in the hell is happening to my body? Have strangers touched your belly? If you've answered yes to any of these questions then this is the book for you! Prop up your cankles, grab a bowl of your favorite ice cream covered in olives and have a laugh with our crew. Things are about to get real.

    Throughout her tumultuous childhood, Anna found for a life of normalcy and despite the death of her older sister, France—who succumbed to the same disease—Anna pursued her dream to live a long, productive life with courage, determination and hope.

    Note: These texting fails contain profanity, not for children.When are people going to learn that autocorrect can't be trusted? With FAILS like these, we actually hope that's not for a long time.This book complies 101 of the funniest, most viral and cringeworthy autocorrect screenshots to date.Guaranteed to put you on the floor laughing!

    In the span of a few hours, you can go from the brink of exhaustion in the worst possible conditions to an explosion of sunshine, amazing people, and breathtaking scenery.” On Friday the 13th, under a full moon and falling rain, Andy Amick completed the first day of the 2014 Tour Divide race. Even with a year of training and preparation, the the physical and mental challenges of the race pushed him further than he thought possible. During the 2700 mile race from Canada to Mexico, he climbed mountain after mountain, witnessed stunning sunsets, encountered the smiles and hospitality of countless people, crossed paths with a mountain lion, and rode through enough mud to last a lifetime. This is the story of one man’s dream to race the Tour Divide and his determination to reach the finish.

    

    Some celebrities behave very, very badly. Andrew Manning is the man who picks up the pieces. And buries the bodies.One of celebrity’s back room boys, Andrew has spent twenty years repackaging and reviving celebrities whose careers have been overshadowed by scandal and is now the very special agent to a stellar list of stars.Shelley Bright, singer and fashion icon, wants a divorce from her secretly gay Premier League footballer husband. She asks Andrew to blackmail him, but Shelley has her own destructive secret. Reality TV star Joey Camp’s career goes into free-fall after he launches an expletive-laden attack on The Queen: Andrew resorts to extreme measures to save him. And Janey Jax, international Pop Goddess, what she wants is so twisted and sick that it makes Andrew’s flesh crawl…Meanwhile, Johnny, Andrew’s partner, begins a descent into “celebrity-induced psychosis.” There are voices in his head, and they tell him to kill celebrities. And as an ambitious, scheming paparazzi appears on the scene, things become even more complicated.

    Now with twice the number of stories of stupidity coming to the hospital, emergency room and operating room. DR Payne has been taking care of patients for over 18 years in places from Alaska to the American South and she has seen her share of Stupid. Feel a little less stupid today after you read this book. Sections include: Stupid in Action Stupid in Word Stupid in Thought Stupid Baby Names Notable Tattoos A Final Thought

    “I smoked in my twenties. I preferred red wine to sparkling water. I ate too much milk chocolate. I liked limericks. I know all the wrong I’ve done. But also, more than any of that, I’ve always longed for children.” Yet there she was: successful, social, mostly happy, and not a mother. Knowing that her chances of becoming pregnant naturally were quickly fading, Finn decided to gamble: she—like some 85,000 other women in the U.S. each year—would attempt in vitro fertilization. Almost three years later, she’s still trying, and in the process has become an accidental pioneer (and, at times, a guinea pig) in the ever-evolving science of IVF.“The Baby Chase” is a primer for anyone contemplating or undergoing IVF. More than that, it’s a story of longing, hope—and hormones—that will appeal to all parents, present and future.Finn’s engaging and honest account sheds light on a subject that few people who undergo IFV are willing to talk about: what happens when the science doesn’t work. “Usually, it’s only the people who come out on the other side, beaming, with a baby on one hip, who speak up about IVF,” she writes. “We never hear from those IVF has failed - it’s too crushing to talk about. We don’t hear from men and women in the middle of treatment, either.... People like me.”

    In the span of her early childhoodthrough adulthood, Esther takes you on a journey of unspeakable losses, survival,resilience and strong family bonds.For Esther, the youngest of fourteen siblings born into a conservative Mennonite Colony in the heart of South America, everyday life revolves around rules, routine and monotonous chores on a family farm without so much as electricity and running water. As she sees it, her childhood is normal and ordinary. That is until one catastrophic day when everything changes. Suddenly, eleven-year-old Esther must leave behind everything she’s ever known.This is the true, heartbreaking account of growing up in a Mennonite family and theharrowing events that eventually lead to her and her three youngest siblings’ dramatic escape to Canada. Everything Esther has ever known about her identity is left behind as she struggles to find a place for herself in a new country, a new culture, and a new language.

    

    While prepared for sunshine and storms 13º south of the equator, the Patras family are ill-equipped for much else. Interspersed with snippets from Ann’s letters home, this crazy story describes encounters ranging from lizards to lions, servants to shopping shortages, and cockroaches to curfews.

    Think again. No Nonsense is a game-changing autobiography which will redefine the most fascinating figure in British football. It is the raw yet redemptive story of a man shaped by rejection and the consequences of his mistakes. He has represented England, and been a pivotal player for Manchester City, Newcastle United, Queens Park Rangers, Marseille and Burnley, but his career has featured recurring controversy. The low point of being sent to prison for assault in 2008 proved to be the catalyst for the re-evaluation of his life.No Nonsense reflects Barton’s character – it is candid, challenging, entertaining and intelligent. He does not spare himself, in revealing the formative influences of a tough upbringing in Liverpool, and gives a survivor’s insight into a game which to use his phrase 'eats people alive'. The book is emotionally driven, and explains how he has redirected his energies since the birth of his children. In addition to dealing with his past, he expands on his plans for the future. The millions who follow his commentaries on social media, and those who witnessed him on BBC’s Question Time, will be given another reason to pause, and look beyond the caricature.

    Finally allowing herself to be vulnerable enough to open up to others, she learned that it’s worth risking possible rejection for a chance at genuine relationships.Ultimately, it was Amy’s faith, as well as the support and encouragement of her community of loving family and good friends, that saw her through the dark times and allowed her to realize her greatest dreams and beyond. Amy’s memoir is an inspiring and at times heart-wrenching account of resilience and the strength of the human spirit to overcome seemingly insurmountable obstacles.

    What time is the 3:00 parade? Why does a child need to be 40 inches tall to ride a roller coaster? What happens when the president of France gets lost inside Pirates of the Caribbean? A former employee, or "cast member", at Walt Disney World's Magic Kingdom answers these and other questions while sharing humorous stories about working inside the world's most popular theme park."Stories from a Theme Park Insider" takes you inside the park's famous tunnels and backstage for a look at how theme parks really work, and the funny moments and embarrassments that can happen when your work is someone else's vacation.