But until then, he'll be shoveling lots of klunk and hangin' with lots of dudes.Talk about a bummer. A maze bummer.Will Thomas ever get to hang out with a girl again? Find out...in THE MAZE BUMMER!

    Bruce Cameron, author of The Midnight Plan of the Repo Man"A smart mix of humor and humanity... An energy drink for the funny bone." --Jane Wagner, author of The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the UniverseBrad Fingerman was an art director in the glamorous world of New York advertising. He had the respect of his peers, a beautiful wife, and a bright future. That is, his future was bright before he spectacularly nuked his career, discovered his wife's infidelity, and witnessed a high-profile Mafia hit in a Midtown elevator. Now Brad's unemployed, divorced, and the government's key witness in a major murder trial.

    I’ve got three words for her. Bah freaking humbug. I hate Christmas. For the last 10 years, I’ve hated everything. Except for my girls. Perfect twins with their mother’s eyes. They want me to move on, but I’m too damaged to listen. Until Niki. Her sass makes my temper rise along with my mammoth… ego. And when I see her delicious curves under that dress, I want to bend her over her party plans and show her what’s waiting in her stocking this year. But giving her what she wants means letting go of the past, And I’m not ready to forget. I’ve got billions to keep me warm, I don’t need Niki too. Except I can’t imagine life without her. Time to turn my bah humbugs into Christmas kisses. Even bums like me need someone to love. I just hope I’m not too late... "Mine on Christmas" is a full length standalone romance with no cheating and no cliffhangers, but with plenty of steam and a HEA. I've also included a preview of my billionaire romance "Accidentally His" for you! - Sarah J. Brooks (USA Today Bestselling Author)

    When the system begins to misfire under the workload, the ill-equipped representatives of God and the Devil tasked with managing the process are given an ultimatum. Fix The Afternet or go back to your previous afterlives. They begin an odyssey through the hordes of souls awaiting judgement and the oblivious living in search of a solution. Rich in comic detail and populated with characters real and imagined from throughout time, their quest is never going to be straightforward…

    

    Completely original material by the show's writers references events in the show as well as giving character backstory and brand new stories about Will, Simon, Jay, and Neil. Readers should expect lots of rude words, lots of photos, and lots of pissing themselves laughing.

    From the random braindropping (When you sneeze, all the numbers in your head go up by one.) to favorite oxymorons (holy war, for one), and from questions to ponder (Why are there no B batteries? for instance) to his classic monologue comparing baseball and football, this little book packs in a lot of laughs.

    For want of a better term, let's call these people "women."Their urge is understandable. We've all had to take measures to accommodate men, because they are involved in nearly every aspect of modern life except maybe housework and they like to run things like corporate meetings and the planet. The only other alternative has been to try to avoid men altogether, which is pretty hard to do if you are interested in stuff like reproduction or having your oil changed.That's why How to Remodel a Man is so indispensable-it is a clear, step-by-step guide for anyone who wants to alter the character and behavior of a man, written by an actual man. Author W. Bruce Cameron provides startling insight into male pattern thinking, explaining why men can open a refrigerator and not see the mayonnaise, or how it is that they can throw dirty clothes at the hamper or in front of the hamper or even on top of the hamper and yet not seem capable of getting any of it in the hamper. Normally, changing a man has certain obstacles, including, but not limited to, the fact that it is impossible. But Cameron is able to overcome this hindrance because he, himself, has been remodeled. In a move so bold it may be shocking to people unaccustomed to such personal courage, Cameron turned himself over to the women in his life and asked them to change him. It started with a list of his flaws (Cameron came up with four; the women came up with one hundred seventy eight) and ended with him writing How to Remodel a Man, so that others could learn from his experience.If you're a woman, you'll be amazed to learn that men can be trained to perform all sorts of tricks, like using the instruments on the sides of their heads (the ears) to listen to you, and the space between those instruments to think about you.If you're a man, you've been given this book so that you'll see that it's possible to watch television without holding the remote or to ask for directions from strangers without suffering a catastrophic loss of testosterone. Cameron changed, and you can too.How to Remodel a Man is the essential guide for anyone in the awkward position of having to interact with a person of the male gender.

     So waste no more time, scroll up this page and order the the ebook right now.

    Whether this is because they haven't yet mastered the 21st century phone or because they live to embarrass you throughout all forms of communication, Text Fails from Mum, is a hilarious collection of our all time favourite texts from Mum.Please stop changing the google logo so much, I like the original one.Mum I don't change the logo. Google changes it.On my computer, you don't run the Google?If I did I wouldn't be driving a 2004 Ford.Andy, I can't find my phone. Can you call it so I can try and track it down?I don't have time to be quippy, mum. It's in your hand.What? No it's not. I've got a bag of groceries in my hand. Are you saying it's in the grocery bag? How do you know these things!?WHAT ARE YOU TEXTING ME WITH!?Never mind! I found it! Thanks!This humour gift book is the laugh out loud answer to the annual conundrum what should I get Mum for Christmas, Mother's Day and her Birthday? Text Fails From Mum is the perfect stocking filler, and a gift all the family can relate to and enjoy.

    How did we ever find time to go to work. New to Caravanning. Its mishaps. Its pleasures. Its fun. Susie and Jack take early retirement and end up biting off more than they can chew. An unexpected inheritance changes their lives forever.

    Dark Zader was one of the most powerful men in the galaxy, but when he threw his emperor down a shaft, he found himself without a job. Living with his kids and down on his luck, he finds that he only has one solution, beg for his old job back from the very emperor he thought he'd killed. Read as this family of rebel scum scrambles to prepare a dinner fit for an emperor in the most ridiculous culinary experience ever. Double the excitement. Triple the laughs. Paintbrush illustrations. This is... Family Wars Episode I: The Forced Dinner

    A city robbing and killing people since 50BC.The Vizz: an industry in crisis. Baxter Stone, a film maker and television veteran, a lifelong Londoner (who thinks he sees better than others) is having problems in the postbrain, crumbling capital. Swindled by an insurance company, he's in in debt; a Lamborghini is blocking his drive and MI6 is blocking his mobile reception. He hopes to turn it round and get the documentary series that will get him the Big Money. But what do you do if history is your sworn enemy and the whole world conspires against you? Is there any way, you could, for a moment, rule the world justly?Darkly comic, How to Rule The World follows Baxter's battle for truth, justice and classy colour grading as it takes him from the pass of Thermopylae, to the peacocking serial killers of Medieval France, and the war in Syria. A trip from the Garden of Eden to Armageddon, plus reggae.Demonstrating Fischer's inimitable talent for eviscerating social satire, How to the Rule the World is a magnificently funny read to stand alongside his best loved works, the Man Booker shortlisted Under the Frog, The Thought Gang and Don't Read This Book If You're Stupid, all of which Corsair will publish in e-book next year.

    The deceptive, crooked path that led him to today began a few months back. Born and raised in Baltimore, Maryland, nineteen-year old Fleming was a professional baseball pitcher with the Chicago White Sox. His successful first year in the minor leagues was waylaid when he received his draft notice. Through a series of misadventures, he ended up enlisting for four years in an elite unit called the A.S.A. or Army Security Agency; the army’s equivalent to the N.S.A. or the National Security Agency. Once in the army, Fleming learned that the recruiter had manipulated him with a host of untruths. Then, to his dismay, he learned that the army had lost his orders and he was placed in an infantry unit. Once in Vietnam, Platoon Sergeant, Levine questioned Fleming and dragged out of him the sad story of how he had enlisted for four years and ended up in an infantry unit. He became the butt of the platoon’s jokes and underwent vicious ribbing by the other platoon members. That day, the platoon was ordered back to their base camp: L.Z. English. Before leaving, they endured a mortar attack and then a ground probe. Fleming’s foxhole mate was critically wounded. Fleming did everything he could to save the man but his wounds were too severe and he died in Fleming’s arms. Repulsed by the ordeal, Fleming was left wondering if he could endure a whole year of this. Twelve-year old Van Phan Duc and his two friends twelve-year old Hoi Anh Vanh and Dan Tri Quang lived happily in their village until the day a N.V.A. invaded and forced them to join their struggle and fight the invading Americans. They were then assigned to a Viet Cong unit where they met Sergeant Chi, the man who would train them to be soldiers for the revolution and lead them into battle. Three American soldiers had been captured. Chi ordered the three boys to participate in brutally torturing the Americans. Dan embraced the torture and it turned him into a brutal fighting machine, much to Chi’s satisfaction. On the other hand, Hoi was repulsed by the events and a part of him died that day. He performed the torture but it wasn’t to Chi’s satisfaction. Van, a devout Buddhist, was also repulsed. He realized that life, as a soldier was three hundred and sixty degrees opposite of Buddha’s spiritual path. The 173rd’s area of operations was the Central Highlands. The 173rd’s home base was in and around the town of Bong Son, but they patrolled all over the province of Binh Dinh. For the next few months, Fleming and Van’s units met on numerous occasions. The first time they engaged each other in combat was in a simple ambush that lasted only two minutes. Both men were left repulsed by the carnage that could take place in only two minutes. Right after the ambush, Fleming’s company was deployed in a battalion-sized operation located in the Dak To mountain range. It was an area where numerous North Vietnamese soldiers infiltrated into South Vietnam from neighboring Cambodia and Laos. Fleming’s company was dropped into an area far from Dak To and the men were forced to march (hump) to their final destination. During the trek, they had to carve their way through impenetrable jungle and cross leach infested rivers to reach their destination, all the while suffering under Vietnam’s oppressive heat. Van’s Viet Cong unit was sent to the Dak To mountain range to do battle with Fleming and his company. Months passed with Van and Fleming’s units constantly meeting. Both men had similar personalities. Both men overcame their initial shock at war’s brutality and became highly competent soldiers who bravely fought the enemy. Both men were ultimately made into squad leaders. Both men continued to hate the war, yet were entrapped in the insanity that was war. They both recognized what war was—a brutally insane series of events where lives were lost and where dreams died.

    Now, she’s a middle-aged millionaire, grieving the loss of her family. The only living relative she has left is her smothering younger sister. May’s sanity is already threatened when tensions rise, so she sets out to find solitude in Florida. However, life has other plans for her. Animal encounters, unlikely friendships, sisterly squabbles and hilarious scenarios take May on an unforgettable journey from the depths of grief to a new life. But, will she embrace it?