Remembering the Music, Forgetting the Words: Travels with Mom in the Land of Dementia


Kate Whouley - 2011
    Yet, this is not a dark or dour look at the demon of Alzheimer’s. Whouley shares the trying, the tender, and the sometimes hilarious moments in meeting the challenge also known as Mom.As her mother, Anne, falls into forgetting, Kate remembers for her. In Anne we meet a strong-minded, accidental feminist with a weakness for unreliable men. The first woman to apply for—and win—a department-head position in her school system, Anne was an innovative educator who poured her passion into her work. House-proud too, she made certain her Hummel figurines were dusted and arranged just so. But as her memory falters, so does her housekeeping. Surrounded by stacks of dirty dishes, piles of laundry, and months of unopened mail, Anne needs Kate’s help—but she doesn’t want to relinquish her hard-won independence any more than she wants to give up smoking.Time and time again, Kate must balance Anne’s often nonsensical demands with what she believes are the best decisions for her mother’s comfort and safety. This is familiar territory for anyone who has had to help a loved one in decline, but Kate finds new and different ways to approach her mother and her forgetting. Shuddering under the weight of accumulating bills and her mother’s frustrating, circular arguments, Kate realizes she must push past difficult family history to find compassion, empathy, and good humor.When the memories, the names, and then the words begin to fade, it is the music that matters most to Kate’s mother. Holding hands after a concert, a flute case slung over Kate’s shoulder, and a shared joke between them, their relationship is healed—even in the face of a dreaded and deadly diagnosis. “Memory,” Kate Whouley writes, “is overrated.”

The Long Hello


Cathie Borrie - 2010
    Between the two, a wondrously poetic dialogue develops, which Ms. Borrie further illuminates with childhood memories of her family, and her struggle to maintain a life outside her caregiving responsibilities. The Long Hello demonstrates how caregiving creates an opportunity to experience the change in a relationship that illness necessitates, one in which joy, innocence, and profound intimacy can flourish.Written in spare, beautiful prose, largely in the form of a dialogue, The Long Hello exquisitely captures the intricacies and nuances of a daughter’s relationship with her mother. - See more at: http://books.simonandschuster.ca/Long...Additional Info:In this shimmering jewel of a memoir, "The Long Hello The Other Side of Alzheimer's," author Cathie Borrie traverses rich terrain as she unearths the hidden and often painful treasures of a life well lived: the shadows and joys of childhood, the relationships that leave us both illuminated and bereft, the love, longing and loss that surge to the fore when a parent is ailing. Memory, and the losing of it, serves as a powerful guide, and Borrie follows her mother's eccentric and poetic lead into the past, transformed by the unexpected brilliance of the elder woman's shifting dementia mind. A paean of redemptive beauty, "The Long Hello" cherishes the bond between mothers and daughters, and creates a startling change in society's perception of those journeying through Alzheimer's.

Detour from Normal


Ken Dickson - 2013
    What happens next is downright frightening.Surgery saves Ken’s life but improper care sends him spiraling into madness. Unable to fend for himself, his wife Beth takes charge. She does her best to save him but the unyielding stigma of mental illness hampers his recovery at every turn until he is beyond hope.Desperate to get Ken the help that he needs, Beth makes a heartbreaking decision: she brands the man she loves a “danger to himself and others” and commits him to psychiatric treatment. A police SUV then delivers him to a high-security facility where the real nightmare begins. Plagued by the pitfalls of contemporary psych wards, Ken struggles through living hell. Nevertheless, as the days stretch to weeks, he finds solace by befriending the lost and forgotten and helping patients with worse problems than his.Featured in Amazon Prime Reading and spotlighted as Great on Kindle, Detour from Normal will touch your heart in ways that you never imagined and make you question your faith in our medical and mental health systems.What readers are saying:“A massive amount of emotion rolled into a page-turner.”“An enlightening and dare I say frightening glimpse into the world of mental health care.”“This is a story you will want to share with the people you know and love.”“Scary, life-changing and inspiring!”“Powerful and gripping.”“A psychological thriller, medical mystery, and compelling drama—made all the more vivid because it actually happened.”

All Gone


Alex Witchel - 2012
    Just past seventy, Alex Witchel’s smart, adoring, ultracapable mother began to exhibit undeniable signs of dementia. Her smart, adoring, ultracapable daughter reacted as she’d been raised: If something was broken, they would fix it. But as medical reality  undid that hope, and her mother continued the torturous process of disappearing in plain sight, Witchel retreated to the kitchen, trying to reclaim her mother at the stove by cooking the comforting foods of her childhood: “Is there any contract tighter than a family recipe?”  Reproducing the perfect meat loaf was no panacea, but it helped Witchel come to terms with her predicament, the growing phenomenon of “ambiguous loss ”— loss of a beloved one who lives on. Gradually she developed a deeper appreciation for all the ways the parent she was losing lived on in her, starting with the daily commandment “Tell me everything that happened today” that started a future reporter and writer on her way. And she was inspired to turn her experience into this frank, bittersweet, and surprisingly funny account that offers true balm for an increasingly familiar form of heartbreak.

Empty


Susan Burton - 2020
    She just knew she felt her best when she was empty, "like a straw", as she says "something you could blow through."For almost thirty years, Susan Burton has hidden her obsession with food and the secret life of compulsive eating and starving that dominated her adolescence. This is the relentlessly honest, fiercely intelligent story of living with both anorexia and binge-eating disorder, moving past her shame, and learning to tell her secret.When Burton was thirteen, her stable life in suburban Michigan was turned upside down by her parents' abrupt divorce, and she moved to Colorado with her mother and sister. She seized on this move west as an adventure and an opportunity to reinvent herself from middle-school nerd to popular teenage girl. But she hadn't escaped unscathed, and in the fallout from her parents' breakup, an inherited fixation on thinness went from "peculiarity to pathology." She entered into a painful cycle of anorexia and binge eating that formed a subterranean layer to her sunny life. She went from success to success--she went to Yale, scored a dream job at a magazine right out of college, and married her college boyfriend. But in college the compulsive eating got worse--she'd binge, swear it would be the last time, and then, hours later, do it again--and after she graduated she descended into anorexia, her attempt to "quit food."Binge eating is more prevalent than anorexia or bulimia, but there is less research and little storytelling to help us understand it. In tart, soulful prose Susan Burton strikes a blow for the importance of this kind of story; brings to life an indelible cast of characters; and tells an exhilarating story of longing, compulsion and hard-earned self-revelation.

The Man Who Left


Theresa Weir - 2012
    It's about the men who leave, and the men who stay.It's a familiar story. Father leaves his wife and children and never looks back. Theresa Weir was five when her father left his family for a better life with a wealthy socialite. Many years passed with only occasional and grudging contact by Theresa's father. When Theresa married into a successful farm family, her father resurfaced, but she couldn't help but be suspicious of his awkward visits.Years later, when the aging socialite dies and Theresa's father is diagnosed with Alzheimer's, people expect Theresa to move to Florida to care for him. A daughter's duty.This is Theresa's personal story of a strained and painful father/daughter relationship.What does a daughter owe the father who abandoned her?~~~From the editor:THE MAN WHO LEFT could be considered a companion to the stunning memoir THE ORCHARD. But where THE ORCHARD is a dark fairy tale, THE MAN WHO LEFT is pure Middle American gothic, told in Theresa Weir's unadorned yet richly powerful and emotionally resonant style. A story about the burdens of remembering and the costs of forgetting, THE MAN WHO LEFT poignantly chronicles the emotional consequences of betrayal and abandonment by those who are supposed to love us the most.

Beyond Forgetting


Christine Zimmerman - 2014
    She chose to drop college temporarily, and take the lead in caring for her beloved grandfather after he was unable to live alone due to Alzheimer's disease. In "Beyond Forgetting" you will read a harrowing tale-first of a kind and brilliant man's love for his granddaughter, and of her selfless return of that love. You will laugh and cry along with the Nelson family as that once-formidable man experiences many surprising, upsetting, and sometimes fascinating changes. You will be astounded by the admirable strength of Zimmerman in the face of shock, frustration, sadness, and guilt. Finally, you will watch her grandfather undergo the downward turn that makes Alzheimer's a singularly devastating illness.Alzheimer's is a cruel disease that can rob the sufferer of his dignity, memory, strength, and even basic functions. "Beyond Forgetting" is an important book with something to teach everyone. Never macabre, maudlin, or miserable, the book maintains a positive, loving tone. It is a rare insight into an often-closed moment in the hardest part of many people's lives. If you have a loved one with Alzheimer's disease, or know someone who does, it should be required reading."

It Rains in February: A Wife's Memoir of Love and Loss


Leila Summers - 2011
    I knew it wasn't an accident, even though the medics and police never suspected suicide. Stuart had been talking about ending his life for a year. His most recent suicide attempt had been only three weeks earlier. Afterwards, he explained that day as the most peaceful day of his life. Sitting next to the dam, he smoked his last cigarette. He drank a hundred sleeping pills and did a final check to make sure everything would look like an accident. The last thing he remembered was swimming out into the crystal clear water. He said that he was no longer scared of dying, that there was nothing scary about it. Living was the scary thing.It Rains In February: A Wife's Memoir of Love and Loss is the true story of a husband's depression and obsession, not only with another woman, but also with ending his life. In this honest and heartfelt narrative, Leila Summers weaves a compelling tale of the year that led up to Stuart's suicide and the grief and self discovery that followed. Although each suicide is unique, this book gives the reader an insider's view from one perspective by way of letters and email messages.

The Story of My Father


Sue Miller - 2003
    Beginning an intensely personal journey, she recalls the bitter irony of watching this church historian wrestle with his increasingly befuddled notion of time and meaning. She details the struggles with doctors, her own choices, and the attempt to find a caring response to a disease whose special cruelty is to diminish the humanity of those it strikes. In luminous prose, Sue Miller has fashioned a compassionate inventory of two lives, a memoir destined to offer comfort to all sons and daughters struggling to make peace with their fathers and with themselves.

The Last Kiss: A True Story of Love, Joy and Loss


Leslie Brody - 2012
    But six years after their wedding, they learned that Elliot, only 55, had pancreatic cancer - and would be lucky to live for a year or two.With a journalist's eye for intimate detail, Leslie shows how they made the very most of the time they had left together. Told with heart, humor and compelling immediacy, The Last Kiss is a love story about the life-affirming power of a passionate marriage, the importance of loyal friends, and the resilience of children growing up through one of life's harshest trials.This is the most important story she has ever told.

Call Me Tuesday


Leigh Byrne - 2012
    For no apparent reason, she's singled out from her siblings, blamed for her family's problems and targeted for unspeakable abuse. The loving environment she's come to know becomes an endless nightmare of twisted punishments as she's forced to confront the dark cruelty lurking inside the mother she idolizes. Based on a true story, Call Me Tuesday recounts, with raw emotion, a young girl's physical and mental torment at the mercy of the monster in her mother's clothes--a monster she doesn't know how to stop loving. Tuesday's painful journey through the hidden horrors of child abuse will open your eyes, and her unshakable love for her parents will tug at your heartstrings.

Stories from the Tenth-Floor Clinic: A Nurse Practitioner Remembers


Marianna Crane - 2018
    In Stories from the Tenth-Floor Clinic, Marianna Crane chases out scam artists and abusive adult children, plans a funeral, signs her own name to social security checks, and butts heads with her staff―two spirited older women who are more well-intentioned than professional―even as she deals with a difficult situation at home, where the tempestuous relationship with her own mother is deteriorating further than ever before. Eventually, however, Crane maneuvers her mother out of her household and into an apartment of her own―but only after a power struggle and no small amount of guilt―and she finally begins to learn from her older staff and her patients how to juggle traditional health care with unconventional actions to meet the complex needs of a frail and underserved elderly population.

Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old


Steven Petrow - 2021
    That list, which included “You won’t have to shout at me that I’m deaf,” and “I won’t blame the family dog for my incontinence,” became the basis of this rousing collection of dos and don’ts, wills and won’ts that is equal parts hilarious, honest, and practical.The fact is, we don’t want to age the way previous generations did. “Old people” hoard. They bore relatives—and strangers—with tales of their aches and pains. They insist on driving long after they’ve become a danger to others (and themselves). They eat dinner at 4pm. They swear they don’t need a cane or walker (and guess what happens next). They never, ever apologize. But there is another way . . .In Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I’m Old, Petrow candidly addresses the fears, frustrations, and stereotypes that accompany aging. He offers a blueprint for the new old age, and an understanding that aging and illness are not the same. As he writes, “I meant the list to serve as a pointed reminder—to me—to make different choices when I eventually cross the threshold to ‘old.’”Getting older is a privilege. This essential guide reveals how to do it with grace, wisdom, humor, and hope. And without hoarding.

Amelia's Story: A Childhood Lost


D.G. Torrens - 2011
    This is a powerful true story of one young girls struggle to survive the state care system in the 70's and 80's. Amelia has just one wish, to make it to adulthood, to hold her destiny in her own hands. This is a harrowing true story, one of survival and human strength. Amelia has been separated from all her siblings never to see them again for many years, she is moved from one children's home to another, until finally it's just too much for her to bear. Amelia starts to wonder about the peace and finality of her own death.

I Will Never Forget: A Daughter's Story of Her Mother's Arduous and Humorous Journey Through Dementia


Elaine C. Pereira - 2014
    In her touching memoir, I Will Never Forget, Elaine C. Pereira shares the sometimes heartbreaking and occasionally humorous story of her mother's journey through dementia, as seen through the eyes of her little girl.Pereira begins by offering entertaining glimpses into her own childhood and feisty teenage years. Through it all, Pereira shares how her mom's unconditional love and creative parenting style helped mold an opinionated young woman into a resourceful adult who eventually would move mountains on her mother's behalf. As Betty Ward slowly begins to wander down the dark and narrow corridors of Alzheimer's, Pereira details her mother's amazing ability to mask the truth until something as innocuous as a drapery rod suddenly launches a waterfall of events. As their roles shift and a new paradigm forms, Pereira transforms into a caregiver who blindly navigates dementia's unpredictable haze while her mother orchestrates Houdini-like disappearances and surprisingly rallies to take charge of her own destiny.I Will Never Forget shares a powerful, emotional story that can help people affected by dementia take comfort in knowing that they are not alone.