Your landlord cheats you out of first place in the annual Christmas decorating contest. You need to learn how to love and care for your mate—a paring knife. These situations and more reveal the wondrous play and surreal humor that make up the stories in Amelia Gray’s stunning collection of stories: Museum of the Weird.Acerbic wit and luminous prose mark these shorts, while sickness and death lurk amidst the humor. Characters find their footing in these bizarre scenarios and manage to fall into redemption and rebirth. Museum of the Weirdinvites you into its hallways, then beguiles, bewitches, and reveals a writer who has discovered a manner of storytelling all her own.

    Gary Handler has issues. His boss hates him, his mother hounds him, and his cat thinks he’s an idiot. But that’s okay because Gary’s got the perfect solution to all of life’s troubles: a porn site subscription and his right hand.Sadly, all habits grow old, even the fun ones. Gary soon finds himself at the doorstep of a creepy old pawn shop where he buys a used adult novelty toy to spice up his one-man sex life.Pity for him that it’s cursed by the angry spirits of all the “kids” he’s flushed down the toilet. Needless to say, hairy palms are about to become the least of his worries.----------Jack on, jack off ... with the Jacklight in book 2 of Shingles, the horror comedy series that’s not for those with faint hearts or weak bladders.

    

    Lord help her… NOTE: This volume contains the first three books of the Jessica Christ series, including ... Book 1: The BeginningBook 2: And It Was GoodBook 3: It's a Miracle!*Plus* the first chapter of Book 4: Nu Alpha Omega The Beginning Jessica McCloud knows first-hand that it’s tough to fit in when you’re God’s only begotten daughter. While she has the power to smite, and she’s privy to most of the juicy gossip in her West Texas town, nobody is knocking on her door with frankincense and myrrh. The Messiah-in-the-making still has to contend with algebra tests, her first crush, and menstrual cramps with the power to spark lightning storms…As if dealing with her overbearing Father and a scheming preacher wasn’t enough, Jessica must face down the demons that lurk around every corner. No matter what she wants from life, everything seems to lead to a final showdown with the devil. The daughter of God has a choice: face the destiny thrust upon her or find some way to forge her own path…And It Was GoodAs she enters the uncharted territory of high school, Jessica McCloud could use a few more friends who believe in her. Of course, that means something entirely different for the daughter of God. After her two-millennia-dead half-brother visits her in a dream and tells her it’s time for her to stop messing around, Jessica begins the hunt to discover what miracles she can perform. And if one of them happens to win the heart of her long-time crush, Greg, then so be it. But when a reporter with a grudge against God catches wind of her first miracle, Jessica stumbles her way through one scandal after another until she wonders if the world wouldn’t be a much happier place with no miracles at all. It's a Miracle! Miracles happen when you least expect them. And if you’re Jessica McCloud, God’s only begotten daughter, they happen when you least want them. Is an uneventful senior year of high school too much for Jessica to hope for?Yes. Yes it is.Instead of focusing on college applications, Jessica must juggle Jimmy’s newest scheme, Eugene’s latest slander, and a gruesome (unpaid) internship at Midland Memorial Hospital. And just when she’s starting to get the hang of it, a serious PR blunder ignites a firestorm of brand new accusations. It would take nothing short of a miracle for Jessica to come out on top this round, and she isn’t holding her breath…

    But Albertina, a beautiful woman made of glass, seems only to appear to him in his dreams. Meeting on his adventures a host of cannibals, centaurs and acrobats, Desiderio must battle against unreality and the warping of time and space to be with her, as the Doctor reduces Desiderio's city to a chaotic state of emergency - one ridden with madness, crime and sexual excess.A satirical tale of magic and sex, The Infernal Desire Machines of Doctor Hoffman is a dazzling quest for truth, love and identity.

    You may find it for free on the web. Purchase of the Kindle edition includes wireless delivery.

    At least his wife, his students, and his community thought so. But when he dies to save the life of a stranger, Steve is sent to an afterlife reserved for the truly heroic: Valhalla.But the Norse realm of the dead isn’t anything like he expected. Valhalla is a school, the Gods are teachers, and Steve’s fellow students are his competition in the great games.Then there are the women...Ila, the beautiful but stoic warrior. Molly, the cutie with her heart on her sleeve. Idun, the blonde Goddess bombshell with a soft spot for poetry. And Twyla, the dwarven bartender who’s always brewing up a sexy good time.Now, Steve must find where he belongs. But in a place where everyone is a hero, he’ll learn that his greatest fight is with himself.Join Steve in a HaremLit adventure filled with romance, sexy goddesses, self-doubt, creative uses of a dorm’s common shower, exploding houses, copious amounts of food and beer, dresses that get wet or come off very easily, and plenty of sexy times.Afterlives Valhalla is rated R for adult themes, graphic violence, undefined relationships/harem, and explicit scenes. Reader discretion is advised.

    With the success of the novels came a widely loved television series. While you might be a loyal fan of the books, the show, or both — do you know all about the history of the leading families? This book aims to thoroughly detail the early history of the houses Targaryen, Stark, and Lannister, including how they first rose to power, and what happened in the years leading up to the beginning of The Game of Thrones story. Of the houses of the Seven Kingdoms, the great houses have the most power. In the past, they were largely royalty, but have sworn to the Iron Throne since then. Of the known world, the great houses are the most powerful throughout all of the different regions in the area. Do you know how the Targaryens first took control of the land of the Seven Kingdoms? Follow the tale of Aegon the Conqueror, and learn how he used his people’s might to force a union of the kingdoms. You will follow the story of the dragons, and find out how they came to be killed off, leaving the Targaryens vying for power with the other houses. Despite their great conquests, they are too among the houses who play the game of thrones, attempting to restore their name to glory. And what of the Starks, who were once the Kings of Winter, ruling over the North. They fought off advances from invaders and remained in power for thousands of years. How did they come to lose their hold over their kingdom, to become only wards? And what happened to turn Lord Eddard away from his caring of the throne? The Lannisters of Casterly Rock were the Kings of the Rock at one time. Ever since the legendary Lann the Clever took it for himself through trickery, they have been rich and powerful. These people of the First Men used marriage and alliances to strengthen their hold over their neighbors. But their insidious tactics worked to bring an Andal to be the ruling Lannister. Find out how they came to be ruled by a dysfunctional family of mistrusting infighters. Here Is A Preview Of What You'll Learn... Game of Thones Family Histories Game of Thrones Lore and History Game of Thrones Character Biographies Character Relationships and alliances Historic Battles Much, much more!Download your copy today! Tags: Game of Thrones, Game of Thrones Books, Game of Thrones Family Histories, Game of Thrones Family History, Game of Thrones Reference, Game of Thrones for Dummies, Game of Thrones Characters, Game of Thrones Houses, History of Thrones, Fire and Ice, Game of Thrones Book, Game of Thrones text, Game of Thrones Study Guide, Game of thrones show, Game of Thrones education

    She has a bad attitude and she does what she wants and when she wants and does not care who she hurts in the process. She has everything that she could possibly want in life, but she feels like she is missing one thing, the love of her biological father, Tristan “Triple T” Thompson. Briana turns to different men looking for that love and affection that she has never gotten from Trip. Will that missing love and affection cause Briana to turn to a man who does not have her best interest at heart?Shanice Miller and Briana are sisters and they are nothing alike. Shanice has always been in her sister’s shadow and she hates it. Shanice starts to hang out with a different crowd and starts doing things that she knows no one would be proud of. She meets someone who she believes has her best interest at heart and will help her get her life back on track. Will he help her get her life back on track or will he lead her down a path of more destruction.Jaslyn Roberson is the quiet and rational thinker of the group. Jaslyn find herself in an abusive relationship and along with home issues she sometimes doesn’t know which way is up. After an tragic event she seeks solace into the arms of another man. Jaslyn can sense that this new guy is keeping a secret from her, but can’t quite put her finger on it.

    Two sisters. One Ghost. An impossible sacrifice.Feuding half-sisters inherit a cottage on the Italian coast, along with its resident spirit and a secret manuscript. Their rivalry explodes through a struggle for control of their haunted house, but Italy infuses its magic into them until a shocking night changes everything for the sisters and their friends.A tale of sisterhood and the supernatural, perfect for fans of Mary Ellen Taylor and Barbara O'Neal."Two sisters, very different, both love and frustrate each other. When their father dies, they are co-inheritors of his house in Italy and must agree on what to do with it. They descend on the house and, slowly and gently, come to terms with their differences and reinforce the love they’ve always had for each other ... Romance blooms in all directions as each sister finds what she most needs, in a most surprising way." – Diane Byington, author of WHO SHE IS

    Carnie. Ride jockey. Roustabout. White trash. Tilt girl. Gypsy. Cricket has been called a lot of things, but she never thought survivor of the zombie apocalypse would be one of them.Book 3: The Shadow AspectLayla and Cricket must join forces if they hope to survive the end of days. But when the world burns, mankind's shadow side rises. Do we deserve to survive?Book 4: Witch WoodHarm none, and be ready for zombies. In the little town of Brighton, Amelia's practice of Wicca marks her as a curiosity both at home and at school. But when modern treatments fail to make a dent in the flu outbreak sweeping the globe, those who once ridiculed her white witchcraft turn to Amelia for help.Book 5: The Torn WorldWith the undead walking, vampires hunting, and kitsune closing in, everything seems lost. Layla, Cricket, and Amelia will need help if there is any hope of survival. Will they prevail in the dying world? Bonus Read: The Clarion Call The spirits warned Vasilisa the end was coming. Who knew her actions might save the world?

    The Melancholy of Resistance, László Krasznahorkai's magisterial novel, depicts a chain of mysterious events in a small Hungarian town. A circus, promising to display the stuffed body of the largest whale in the world, arrives in the dead of winter, prompting bizarre rumours. Word spreads that the circus folk have a sinister purpose in mind, and the frightened citizens cling to any manifestation of order they can find - music, cosmology, fascism. The novel's characters are unforgettable: the evil Mrs. Eszter, plotting her takeover of the town; her weakling husband; and Valuska, our hapless hero with his head in the clouds, who is the tender center of the book, the only pure and noble soul to be found. Compact, powerful and intense, The Melancholy of Resistance, as its enormously gifted translator George Szirtes puts it, "is a slow lava flow of narrative, a vast black river of type." And yet, miraculously, the novel, in the words of The Guardian, "lifts the reader along in lunar leaps and bounds."

    Hang out with Jack Sullivan and his friends as they navigate life after the Monster Apocalypse--living in a tricked-out tree house, avoiding zombies, battling evil world-destroying monsters, and generally treating life like it's the best video game ever! This boxed set includes the first three books from the New York Times bestselling The Last Kids on Earth series: The Last Kids on Earth, The Last Kids on Earth and the Zombie Parade, and The Last Kids on Earth and the Nightmare King. Full of black-and-white illustrations, cool inventions, and every sort of monster, The Last Kids on Earth Collection is the perfect gift for the kid who doesn't want the action (or the laughs) to stop!

    A group of survivors finds an island sanctuary.Three generations later, no one has heard from the outside world in years. The old radio only crackles with static. The Pestilence either finished its job or the world tore itself apart.In the Village of Lehom, Leilani has been called to court as a Virtue by the King. Going to court means losing her independence and self-respect. Unfortunately, she doesn’t have a choice.Leilani decides to take a stand; the King be damned. She plans a daring escape and sets in motion a series of events that will shake the foundation of her village and the island to its core.

     Prepare to travel to a world of Light and Shadows, where Heaven and Hell are not what you have been told. What would you be willing to sacrifice to save all of Creation?