Perry Groves spent over a decade in the footballing spotlight. Sometimes he was at the top, often he was at the bottom and that's half the reason the fans loved him so much--and still do. This is the most truthful and hilarious book about professional football you will ever read. Perry Groves was the first signing by the legendary Arsenal manager George Graham, and that unmistakeable figure with his Tin-Tin haircut and cheeky grin was a player in one of the Gunners' greatest sides. Now he has decided to tell all about his rollercoaster years of booze binges, girl-chasing and gambling sprees. He's a nonstop fund of of hilarious anecdotes, recounting top-flight games played with a hangover, 125 mph motorway chases with international stars, visits to a brothel with an England World Cup hero and revealing how one drunken escapade ended with a group of internationals beting questioned over an attempted murder charge. This is a unique chance to find out what top-flight footballers really get up to off the field and how they behave when the dressing room door is closed.

    Although by now, not such a green graduate, the animals and their owners keep her challenged in a way never described in the text books.

    He’s a rat, anyway, and currently attends Sex Addicts Anonymous. He still comes by the house, though, as do her hippie, macrobiotic mother; her feisty, alcoholic best friend; her God-fearing grandmother; and that Perfect Guy, the one with the beatific son who plays with her daughter, the one who happens to have a winning smile, wild black hair, a professorship at Harvard—and (drats!) a gorgeous doctor girlfriend. Told in short takes that perfectly mimic the frantic nature of our busy lives, Hot and Bothered follows its heroine through the streets of Cambridge, where she spends far too much time staring into space and sipping mocha lattes with extra whipped cream; to church, where she prays for a little salvation; to Alaska, where she believes a rugged outdoorsman might just be that salvation; and to Cape Cod, where, in a little house by the sea, she might finally see the light. Annie Downey has written an updated Cinderella story for all single moms.

    Now Exeter is set to become the UK Capital of Culture and the ambitious Lord Mayor wants to turn things around. But when a young man's (dead) body is found in the centre of town, things get murky.Detective Roger LeCarre is a character never seen before in modern fiction - a tough but troubled detective with a drink problem and a marriage in trouble. Can he find out who killed the young man, save the city and change his energy provider before the new more expensive tariff kicks in?Filled with drama, eroticism and very specific Wikipedia-sourced information on Devon, Once Upon A Crime is a thriller which demands to be read.

    Then got out of bed and had a brisk rub down with the pumice stone. I opened the curtains and saw that the sun was shining brightly. (A suspicion is growing in my mind that the BBC is not to be trusted.)Margaret Hilda Roberts is a rather ambitious 14 � year old grocer's daughter from Grantham. She can't abide laziness, finds four hours of chemistry homework delightful and believes she is of royal birth - or at least destined for great things. But Margaret knows that good things never come to those who wait . . .These are the secret diary entries of a girl born into an ordinary life, yet who might just go on to become something really rather extraordinary, and she is brilliantly brought vividly to life by bestselling author Sue Townsend, Britain's favourite comic writer for over three decades.'Essential reading for Mole followers' Times Educational Supplement'Wonderfully funny and sharp as knives' Sunday TimesSue Townsend is Britain's favourite comic author. Her hugely successful novels include eight Adrian Mole books, The Public Confessions of a Middle-Aged Woman (Aged 55�), Number Ten, Ghost Children, The Queen and I, Queen Camilla and The Woman Who Went to Bed For a Year, all of which are highly acclaimed bestsellers. She has also written numerous well-received plays. She lives in Leicester, where she was born and grew up.

    Regardless of religion, race, sex, sexuality or nationality. He hates all of you. Basically, you are fucked." God is pissed off. He has run out of patience with humans and decided that our time is over. We've had our chance and its back to the drawing board. "Fuck the lot of them" is his newest gospel. Mo, and Jay, best Friends who've fucked up in the past, beg him for one more chance to get the humans back on track. Alongside Mr Saluzar, the head of a global charity foundation, and Nick, The Fallen Angel, they hurtle towards Armageddon and their one chance to prove God wrong. They have seven days to save us. On The Seventh Day contains strong language and religious irreverence which some may find offensive. Irreverent dark humour from the author of Lanarkshire Strays and the dEaDINBURGH series.

    Love comes in unexpected ways at inconvenient times in these five full-length romantic comedies where one designer bridal gown leads each bride to her perfect groom—even if he's not the one she'd had in mind. Follow five runaway brides in this romantic comedy series as they find love in the most unexpected places. Book 1 — The Almost Wives Club: Kate Is the bridal gown a matchmaker? Kate Winton-Jones is marrying one of America’s most eligible bachelors. Edward Carnarvon III is rich, handsome and hers. But at the final fitting of her wedding gown, one of the seamstresses pricks her and a tiny blood spot appears on the outrageously expensive gown. Its famous designer fires the clumsy seamstress on the spot, whereupon the girl puts a curse on the dress and storms out. Kate doesn't believe in curses. She’s modern, American and in love with the perfect guy. What could go wrong? Book 2 — Secondhand Bride As the poor relation in the rich and powerful Carnarvon family, Ashley Carnarvon is used to hand-me-downs. But getting handed down a wedding dress that’s cursed? Okay, the curse is bad enough, but even worse, the dress doesn’t suit her. The fabulous gown was designed for a taller, slimmer bride who ran away before the wedding and never wore the dress – which gets back to the curse… Book 3 — Bridesmaid for Hire Tasmine Ford is such a perfect bridesmaid, she’s made a side business out of it. But, when a gorgeous designer wedding gown is handed to her, after the bride who is supposed to wear it climbs out the window on her wedding day, she starts to wonder, will she always be a bridesmaid and never a bride? It’s not that she doesn’t know exactly who she wants to marry. But Eric Van Hoffendam wants to cry on her shoulder, not ask for her hand in marriage. Book 4 — The Wedding Flight She’s passing a vintage store on Melrose Avenue when Meg O’Reilly catches sight of the prettiest wedding dress she’s ever seen. On impulse she tries it on and the guy who runs the vintage store tells her she looks beautiful. The gown fits like it was made for her and when she twirls in front of the mirror, she feels like a fairy princess. Not even her Doc Martens ruin the effect. Book 5 — If the Dress Fits Evangeline is a former supermodel more famous for the men she’s dated and the scandals she’s been involved in than for her acting talent. Now, the famous Brit has turned her hand to designing wedding gowns and lingerie for the rich and famous. It’s an open secret that she only designs her outrageously priced gowns for attractive women. The Diva Designer also has a famous temper. She’s been wildly successful until an unfortunate incident ended with a seamstress cursing both her and her latest wedding gown. Now rumours are circulating, and the press are picking up the juicy story of the cursed wedding gown. Four brides have attempted to get married in the cursed dress and none of them has made it down the aisle. To squelch the rumours, Evangeline announces publicly that she is wearing the gown herself—for her own wedding. Five romantic comedies for one low price—The Almost Wives Club Box Set For a romantic read full of love, laughs and friendship, scroll up and grab your copy today.

    Jane Austen's classic story about love and money is updated in this imaginative series with a little bit of blood, a touch of mayhem, and a whole bunch of zombies! 2 Book Set.

    Written by a Telegraph and Guardian journalist and self-confessed running nut, this smartly packaged and brilliantly knowing miscellany details entertaining, real-life runners' stories (being overtaken by a kid/OAP or getting lost while training) and takes a humorous look at the mistakes runners make (wearing a brand new pair of trainers for half marathon or getting so pumped by your morning run you have arguments with everyone at work).

    A collection of poems parodying the Gabbie Hanna collection 'Adultolescence', written from the perspective of Kyra - a little dog with a big heart! Youtuber, Rachel Oates, and her dog worked together to create this collection of poems and photographs which will resonate with every dog lover, but will also provide plenty of giggles for 'fans' of Gabbie's 'poetry'.

    LOVE. For advertising copywriter Holly Carmichael life has been a series of near misses. When a major career disappointment catapults her from snowbound Jersey City to a yoga retreat in balmy Thailand, will she find happiness in the arms of cute cartoonist Johnny Highnote, or will this be yet another “almost”?

    Perfect for fans of Mike Gayle, Matt Dunn and David Nicholls. SYNOPSIS Things that might happen during your first year of parenthood: 1. You’ll get covered in a ‘nuclear’ poo. 2. You’ll be convinced your son is talking with a Japanese accent. 3. You’ll worry that when your son waves, it looks like a Nazi salute. Of course, this might just be Harry Spencer. Taking up where 'This Thirtysomething Life' left off, Harry Spencer and is wife Emily are back and trying to survive their first year of parenthood. It has its ups and downs (and a few bits in the middle), but along the way they begin to understand the true meaning of family and what it takes to be a parent. Featuring a hilarious cast of extras including Harry’s father-in-law Derek, who has a unique problem with Scotch, Steve and Fiona, the parents from children’s entertainment hell, and a yoga instructor with a prominent camel-toe, 'This Family Life' is the ultimate comedy for anyone who is a parent, has a parent, or is thinking about becoming one.

    Never in my wildest imaginings did I expect it would happen when I was on all fours vomiting my guts out beside a sugar cane field in far north Queensland on Mother’s Day.” And so begins another brilliantly funny instalment in the true and chaotic life of middle-aged stand up comic, Denise Scott. This time Denise is on tour through the back blocks and remote country towns of regional Australia with a bunch of young male comics on a tiny bus… Although old enough to be their mother, Denise in true form manages to keep up with the partying and outrageous behaviour (and many times leading it) on tour. However, although that tiny bus took her many miles away from her real life, life has a habit of catching up with you. It was mid journey on those long, long stretches of empty road that Denise confronts her own issues of ageing, motherhood, sex, intimacy, regret, and wearing your bathing suit in public.

    But when a mysterious man shows up in Dodge City, unannounced, things really get crazy! Preliminary Comments: I loved it! I absolutely loved it! You buy your ticket with no idea where John will take the story, but you’re always glad to ride the ride. Locke’s Rag Soup recipe is a perfect blend of winning ingredients: blistering pace; authentic dialog; crazy characters; improbable situations, non-stop humor; plot twists galore; and big-hearted, good-natured fun.

    Congressman Evan Gorgoni of Bloomington, IN, has served eight terms in a dysfunctional Congress and reached his limits of frustration. A medical event brings on the epiphany that there is no point in continuing to serve. But his frank expression, on Meet the Press, of his rationale for ending his political career is met with the unbidden call that he seek the White House—an unlikely destination for a vegan Congressman with a disdain for political posturing. Featuring 20 vegan recipes and a solution to America’s Electoral College problem, Off the Reservation is an original take on the art of the possible. "Glen Merzer's Off the Reservation is as politically savvy and poetically literate a book as I have read in a long while. It is a completely gorgeous and rewarding experience."--Jason Alexander, Actor “The book is called Off the Reservation , but it’s 100% On The Money about how far removed political discourse has strayed from reality. With unparalleled wit and insight, Glen Merzer dispatches one Evan Gorgoni to go forth and speak the truth to a weary nation, and the result is one of the best reads I’ve had in years. I loved it!” —Ed Begley, Jr., Actor/Environmental Activist “I literally couldn’t put down this superbly-written book once I began to read. Why? Because Off the Reservation is wildly entertaining and deeply inspiring. And because I laughed out loud so many times I lost count. What a fabulous, powerful, meaningful book!” —John Robbins, author, Diet For A New America, and Co-founder, foodrevolution.org “ Off the Reservation is the best book I’ve ever read!” —Howard F. Lyman, author, Mad Cowboy “Glen Merzer’s Off the Off the Reservation is a masterpiece of wit and relevance. Twenty-first century America is portrayed here in the language of politics—an unlikely feat but a convincing one, thanks to Merzer’s keen eye for both straight facts and tortuous contradictions. Intelligent, relevant, up-to-date, and unwavering, Merzer’s fictional analysis gets to the heart and soul of American society today. I confidently predict that anyone who has the good fortune to read this book will treasure the experience.” —Philip Appleman, poet and novelist