But one night after Girl Scouts she trips and falls, severely injuring her two front teeth, and what follows is a long and frustrating journey with on-again, off-again braces, surgery, embarrassing headgear, and even a retainer with fake teeth attached. And on top of all that, there’s still more to deal with: a major earthquake, boy confusion, and friends who turn out to be not so friendly. This coming-of-age true story is sure to resonate with anyone who has ever been in middle school, and especially those who have ever had a bit of their own dental drama.

    A tiger whose idea of adventure is to lie on his back by the fire and have his stomach rubbed. In six short years this unlikely duo has captured the hearts, the minds, and, most of all, the funny bones of America. They are the most phenomenal success story in syndication - and publishing - history. In only six years, they appear in more than 2,100 newspapers worldwide, and Calvin and Hobbes wins as many readership polls as Calvin has excesses. All seven of Bill Watterson's collections have sold a million copies within a year of publication.This treasury collection contains a never-before-published full-color section, as well as the cartoons appearing in The Revenge of the Baby-Sat and Scientific Progress Goes "Boink." All Sunday cartoons are presented full-page and full-color.

    But it never rained rain and it never snowed snow and it never blew just wind. It rained things like soup and juice. It snowed things like mashed potatoes. And sometimes the wind blew in storms of hamburgers. Life for the townspeople was delicious until the weather took a turn for the worse. The food got larger and larger and so did the portions. Chewandswallow was plagued by damaging floods and storms of huge food. The town was a mess and the people feared for their lives. Something had to be done, and in a hurry.

    35), do the perfect manicure (p. 82), or make your own lip gloss (p. 11).Feel like impressing your friends? Show them how you can make a crystal (p. 16), juggle one-handed (p. 33), or deal with a bully (p. 42).Bored and need something to do? Not anymore when you find out how to keep a secret diary (p. 88), make a scrapbook (p. 9), or put together a dance routine (p. 24).And tons of other neat-o things you need to know how to do!

    Profane, loving, and deeply cathartic, You Have to Fucking Eat breaks the code of child-rearing silence, giving moms and dads new, old, grand-, and expectant a much-needed chance to laugh about a universal problem.A perfect gift book like the smash hit Go the Fuck to Sleep (over 1.5 million copies sold worldwide!), You Have to Fucking Eat perfectly captures Adam Mansbach's trademark humor, which is simultaneously affectionate and radically honest. You probably shouldn't read it to your kids.Adam Mansbach is the author of the #1 international bestseller Go the Fuck to Sleep, as well as the novels Rage Is Back, Angry Black White Boy, The Dead Run, and The End of the Jews, winner of the California Book Award. He has written for the New Yorker, the New York Times, Esquire, the Believer, and National Public Radio’s All Things Considered. His daughter Vivien is six.Owen Brozman has illustrated for National Geographic, Time Out New York, Scholastic, Ninja Tune, Definitive Jux, and numerous other clients. He and Mansbach recently collaborated on the acclaimed graphic novel Nature of the Beast, and his work has been recognized by the Society of Illustrators of Los Angeles, Creative Quarterly, 3x3 magazine, and many more. He lives in Brooklyn, New York, with his wife and daughter, whose favorite food is bananas.

    A veteran comic performer, Reiser is best-known as the co-creator and star of the highly-rated NBC comedy, "Mad About You," which "Time" Magazine called "The season's best new sitcom"in its 1992 debut. Every Thursday night more than twenty million viewers watch as Paul Reiser reveals the most intimate and hilarious scenes of a marriage. Now for the first time, Reiser brings his trademark wit to the page in a book that will delight his eagerly-awaiting audience, and anyone else who has ever fallen in love--or tried not to. In Couplehood, a "New York Times" bestseller for more than 40 weeks, Reiser reflects on what it means to be half of a couple -- everything from the science of hand holding, to the technique of tag-team storytelling, to the politics of food and why it always seems to come down to chicken or fish.NBC's hit comedy, "Mad About You," has collected his comic observationsabout life and love in" Couplehood," a New York Times bestseller for morethan 40 weeks.In "Couplehood," Reiser reflects on what it means to be half of a couple-- everything from the science of hand holding, to the technique of tag-teamstorytelling, to the politics of food and why it always seems to come down tochicken or fish.Cited by "Time" magazine as "the season's best new sitcom" in its 1992debut,

    One of the worst I've ever seen!"Camilla Cream loves lima beans, but she never eats them. Why? Because the other kids in her school don't like them. And Camilla Cream is very, very worried about what other people think of her. In fact, she's so worried that she's about to break out in...a bad case of stripes!

    The story is immediately engaging—two fourth-grade boys who write comic books and love to pull pranks find themselves in big trouble. Mean Mr. Krupp, their principal, videotapes George and Harold setting up their stunts and threatens to expose them. The boys' luck changes when they send for a 3-D Hypno-Ring and hypnotize Krupp, turning him into Captain Underpants, their own superhero creation. Later, Pilkey includes several pages of flip-o-ramas that animate the action. The simple black-and-white illustrations on every page furnish comic-strip appeal. The cover features Captain Underpants, resplendent in white briefs, on top of a tall building. This book will fly off the shelves.

    And after he handed in a scorching book report of the classic novel, Old Shep, My Pal, detention is just what he’s been handed. He is sure he’s done nothing wrong: he hated every minute of that book, especially when the dog dies in the end! Why do dogs always die at the end? Wallace refuses to do a rewrite of his report, so his English teacher, who happens to be directing the school play of Old Shep, My Pal, forces him go to the rehearsals to teach him a lesson on why the story is the way it is. Surrounded by theater kids who are apprehensive of him, Wallace sets out to prove himself. But not by changing his mind. Instead, he changes the play into a rock-and-roll rendition, complete with Rollerblades and a moped!

    It was a cartoon that appeared for many years in daily newspapers and was loved by millions. (And was confusing to millions more.) But one day he stopped.Gary went into hiding. He made a couple short films. He played his guitar. He threw sticks for his dogs. They threw some back.Yet Gary was restless. He couldn't sleep nights. Something haunted him. (Besides Gramps.) Something that would return him to his roots in biology, drawing and dementia--a tale called There's a Hair in My Dirt! A Worm's Story.It begins a few inches underground, when a young worm, during a typical family dinner, discovers there's a hair in his plate of dirt. He becomes rather upset, not just about his tainted meal but about his entire miserable, wormy life. This, in turn, spurs his father to tell him a story--a story to inspire the children of invertebrates everywhere.And so Father Worm describes the saga of a fair young maiden and her adventuresome stroll through her favorite forest, a perambulator's paradise. It is a journey filled with mystery and magic. Or so she thinks.Which is all we'll say for now.What exactly does the maiden encounter?Does Son Worm learn a lesson?More important, does he eat his plate of fresh dirt?Well, you'll have to read to find out, but let's just say the answers are right under your feet.Written and illustrated in a children's storybook style, There's a Hair in My Dirt! A Worm's Story is a twisted take on the difference between our idealized view of Nature and the sometimes cold, hard reality of life for the birds and the bees and the worms (not to mention our own species).Told with his trademark off-kilter humor, this first original non--Far Side book is the unique work of a comic master.Now Larson can finally sleep at night.Question is, will you?(from the back cover)

    As much as he'd love to sing the praises of his book (he is very vain), he wouldn't want you to hear about his brave 11-year old heroes, Cass and Max-Ernest. Or about how a mysterious box of vials, the Symphony of Smells, sends them on the trail of a magician who has vanished under strange (and stinky) circumstances. And he certainly wouldn't want you to know about the hair-raising adventures that follow and the nefarious villains they face. You see, not only is the name of this book secret, the story inside is, too. For it concerns a secret. A Big Secret.

    Piggle-WiggleMrs. Piggle-Wiggle lives in an upside-down house and smells like cookies. She was even married to a pirate once. Most of all, she knows everything about children. She can cure them of any ailment. Patsy hates baths. Hubert never puts anything away. Allen eats v-e-r-y slowly. Mrs Piggle-Wiggle has a treatment for all of them.The incomparable Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle loves children good or bad and never scolds but has positive cures for Answer-Backers, Never-Want-to-Go-to-Bedders, and other boys and girls with strange habits. '[Now] in paperback . . . for a new generation of children to enjoy.' -- San Francisco Examiner Chronicle.

    She proclaims, in her delightfully urbane, witty, and very English way, that it is time to look at our commas and semicolons and see them as the wonderful and necessary things they are. Using examples from literature, history, neighborhood signage, and her own imagination, Truss shows how meaning is shaped by commas and apostrophes, and the hilarious consequences of punctuation gone awry.Featuring a foreword by Frank McCourt, and interspersed with a lively history of punctuation from the invention of the question mark in the time of Charlemagne to George Orwell shunning the semicolon, Eats, Shoots & Leaves makes a powerful case for the preservation of proper punctuation.

      Find out how the real action heroines do it, directly from a host of experts, including stuntwomen, jujitsu instructors, helicopter pilots, detectives, forensic psychologists, survivalists, primatologists, and many others.   Learn to:        •  Profile a serial killer      •  Outwit a band of home intruders      •  Navigate white water rapids      •  Go undercover as a beauty queen      •  Outrun a fireball   And dozens of other Tough Chick Skills, Beauty Skills, Brain Skills, Brawn Skills, and Escape Skills. Special sections and appendices feature the top action heroine hairdos, handbag essentials, and the best footwear for every action situation. With step-by-step instructions and easy-to-follow illustrations, The Action Heroine’s Handbook will prepare you to save the world, one baddie at a time.

    Kick Me is a nostalgic trip for the inner geek in all of us.