I’m a woman who adores childish things. I prefer being called Maddie over Madison. I like frilly dresses, and tickle fights, and hot chocolate, and coloring, and swing sets. I avoid adulting like I do broccoli, and my therapist says that’s okay. We all have our hobbies. I think my therapist is full of it, but he hasn’t steered me wrong yet. At least I don’t think he has. So, what am I supposed to do when tragedy hits my family once again and I’m left with twins? Well, I adapt. If I have anything good going for me, it’s that I’m a river, ever-flowing. Plus, rivers have waterfalls and rainbows. I like waterfalls and rainbows. But now I need to adult fast because having two tiny things relying on me is hard. I have to be—dare I say it—responsible. Ick. I hate that word. Just when I think I’m getting a routine down with my adorable twins, I’m faced with new problems. My stepmonster is out to get me again. She likes to think she can prove a point, but I’m older now. I won’t let her stomp on me anymore. She better prepare for a fight. And apparently, I have three men on my side. They’re willing to prove they’ll help me. I’ll believe them the day I finally see the elusive unicorn. But they’re there and I can’t stop blabbering like an idiot long enough to tell them to go away. Don’t worry. I got this. I think.

    

    This book presents the best of them: pipe-smoking robots, clairvoyant pennies, zoo jailbreaks, literary cannibals, corned beef in space, revolving squirrels, disappearing Scottish lighthouse keepers, reincarnated pussycats, dueling Churchills, horse spectacles, onrushing molasses, and hundreds more. Plus the obscure words, odd inventions, puzzles and paradoxes that have made the website a quirky favorite with millions of readers -- hundreds of examples of the marvelous, the diverting, and the strange, now in a portable format to occupy your idle hours.

    My experiences, observations, and/or studies have led me to believe the following:* Racism has done more to promote non-justice than any other socio-material system known to have been produced or supported by the people of the known universe.* No major problem that exists between the people of the known universe can be eliminated, until Racism is eliminate

    Now, Harry shares many of his hilarious insider tips.

    While some hunt rodents or pests in the dark, Jonah and Judas tackle much larger prey… Zombies. Equipped with a well-loved artillery gun, DeeDee, and a much used and somewhat abused pickup truck called Sasha, the duo clear the night of undead pests, keeping the ever present threat of a Zombie Apocalypse at bay.When the slap happy pair receives an after hours call for extermination that ends in a gurgle, they head out, guns locked and catch pole loaded. It seems that an incredibly foolish developer built a high cost, gated community atop an old indian Reservation – a Reservation that soon became a graveyard and home to magic much older than the flimsy walled homes that tried to take over. Lost in this sea of new houses, an ancient artifact lay buried till the obnoxious Home Owners Association President disturbed it – and awakened the Zombies from their slumber to retrieve it. Now it’s up to the Brothers to find it and lay the walking dead to rest. Along the way they meet the woman of their dreams, JJ, her magical and disco imbued dog, Xanadu, a denture wearing Zombie and a High Priest that offers a bit more danger than DeeDee can handle.Filled with pop culture nods and heroes that just don’t know when to quit, it’s a slap happy, blood filled adventure, as the trio fights off zombies and the brothers fight each other for JJ’s affection. If you like Ash Vs Evil Dead, Army of Darkness and Scooby Doo, you’ll want to buy this action packed romp and dive into The Zee Brother’s adventures today!

    Contents:The Railways Up on Cannis (1959)The Subways of Tazoo (1964)The Pen and the Dark (1966)Getaway from Getawehi (1969)The Black Hole of Negrav (1975)

    From the appearance in 1936 of Kenneth Patchen's first book, the voice of this great poet has been protesting war and social injustice, satirizing the demeaning and barbarous inanities of our culture--entrancing us with an inexhaustible flow of humor and fantasy.

    But Jack alone is no match for the hordes of Zombies and Winged Wretches and Vine Thingies, and especially not for the eerily intelligent monster known only as Blarg. So Jack builds a team: his dorky best friend, Quint; the reformed middle school bully, Dirk; Jack's loyal pet monster, Rover; and Jack's crush, June. With their help, Jack is going to slay Blarg, achieve the ultimate Feat of Apocalyptic Success, and be average no longer!The Last Kids on Earth and the Zombie Parade: The zombies are disappearing. This might seem like a good thing, since zombies eat your brains, but normal human kid Jack Sullivan is suspicious. He keeps hearing an eerie shrieking noise that seems to be almost summoning the zombies--but to where, and for what (probably) foul purpose? Jack, his three best friends (maybe the only people left on Earth), and their pet monster Rover need to get to the bottom of this. Along the way they encounter a lot more than they bargained for, including a giant Wormungulous, a pizza parlor monster hangout, an ancient evil who destroys worlds, and a stereo system that is totally the bomb. Can Jack figure out why the zombies are vanishing . . . before he and his friends are next?The Last Kids on Earth and the Nightmare King: Jack's friends make a startling discovery: they may not be the last kids on earth, after all. This is great news for everyone... except Jack. Once they've found other humans, his friends won't stick around for long! Jack's only hope for keeping things the way they are is to prove that everything here is perfect, life is crazy fun, and nothing else could be any better. One problem: it's hard convincing his friends that everything is great when they're being hunted by a monstrous Nightmare King and an ancient evil who won't rest until Earth has been devoured. Crud! Maybe life after the monster apocalypse is more complicated than Jack thought...

    Throughout James May's Magnificent Machines, our Top Gear guide explores the iconic themes of the past hundred years: flight, space travel, television, mechanised war, medicine, computers, electronic music, skyscrapers, electronic espionage and much more. But he also reveals the hidden story behind why some inventions like the Zeppelin, the hovercraft or the Theremin struggled to make their mark. He examines the tipping points - when technologies such as the car or the internet became unstoppable - and gets up close by looking at the nuts and bolts of remarkable inventions. Packed with surprising statistics and intriguing facts, this is the ideal book for anyone who wants to know how stuff works and why some stuff didn't make it.

    His publisher has turned down his wonderful new novel, his agent is out of ideas, and the only person to turn up at his latest reading is his mum. He's deeply jealous of the marketable Francesca Brady, a hugely successful author of fat romantic books for fat romantic people, whose expansive hair and bright red lipstick mock him from posters everywhere he goes. He's also living at home since his marriage broke up, and he's just collected the wrong child from school.But one night Connor stumbles on a route back to the top, via a beautiful model, two deranged psychopaths, a multi-million pound publishing fraud, true love and utter heartbreak...

    Women fall at my feet vying to become the next Mrs. Taylor, only they are always after one thing. The money. Instead of picking someone they want, I turn it into a game. My chosen bride will be placed on a budget with a strict set of rules. I have a year to turn a gold-digging diva into a domesticated housewife. What have I got to lose, besides true love?***Rich men are all the same and I want nothing to do with them. I left Texas to get away from my meddlesome mother and her dreams of me marrying old money. But the first thing I see in New York is a giant billboard sporting a billionaire looking for a wife, Bachelor style. I don’t find out my mother has filled out an application for me until I am chosen to come to Edward Taylor’s penthouse.That’s when I realize my mother will never stop unless I do something drastic. If I ramp up my pageant persona there’s no way he’ll choose me to become his wife—and in the process, I’ll get my mother off my back about getting married while teaching this full of himself billionaire the way to a woman’s heart isn’t by hiring a billboard!This romantic comedy is free from language, and graphic sexual content, and has mild Christian themes. Pick it up today!

    Then, Dr. Nick's cosmetic quackery is called into question, but the "good" doctor may serve a purpose in the shaky medical establishment that few are willing to admit. And after winning a law license in a bar bet, Homer becomes the hottest lawyer in town, but it is not long before HE is fending off the FBI, only to find himself in a federal prison surrounded by former friends and foes and facing a shakedown.

    If you need to extend your verbal eloquence to include vulgarity from 1811, this is the book for you.

    . . Don't Tell Me! to test their knowledge of the week's dumbest news against some of the best and brightest-panelists including author and humorist Roy Blount Jr., author and radio anomaly Tom Bodett, syndicated advice columnist Amy Dickinson ("Ask Amy"), Atlantic Monthly journalist P.J. O'Rourke, Washington Post columnist Roxanne Roberts, and other know-it-alls.