From the random braindropping (When you sneeze, all the numbers in your head go up by one.) to favorite oxymorons (holy war, for one), and from questions to ponder (Why are there no B batteries? for instance) to his classic monologue comparing baseball and football, this little book packs in a lot of laughs.

    And one very annoyed world.Based on the ingenious Sir Michael Twitter account, How to (Almost) Make Friends on the Internet is the funniest book you'll read this year.Whether it's offering his services as a Karate Lawyer or Funeral DJ, devising the world's worst plan to get a free haircut, or trying to buy a blue bucket that may or may not be for sale, Michael just wants to connect with people.The only problem is that people are slightly less enthusiastic about connecting with him, and the results are utterly hilarious.Warning: you'll never think about adding someone called Michael to a group chat the same way ever again.

    He's a lothario, a linguist, and a specialist at looking on the bright side of life-- especially when it means twisting or turning a situation so it works in his favor! In this book, he will teach you how to do the same for yourself. He offers a plethora of thorough advice on parties, relationships, careers, love, friendship, and life in general-- there is something in here for everyone! Pepe's thoughts on friendship? "Love comes and goes .but friendship is forever, or at least until they run out of money and places to take you. Building lifelong relationships with people who aren't related to you or attractive to you is a strange habit, but one that's hard to shake. Here's how I deal with it..." Laugh-out-loud funny and in his authentic, Spanish-accented voice, Pepe's musings and guidance will delight readers of all ages with this fantastic comic relief! Served up with hot, fresh, and filled with wit, pith and a dash of salsa this is Pepe's guide to life, love and living large! From family to friendship to romance and everything is between, Pepe's words of wisdom are served up in fun and witty quotes and advice told with his signature brand of humor.

    Helping the Peanuts gang through various adventures (and misadventures), Snoopy continues his standoff with the Red Baron, finds every opportunity to kiss Lucy on the nose, and ventures out to find the mysterious Lila. Meanwhile, Charlie Brown faces anxiety over saying good-bye, Lucy tries ever more desperately to get Schroeder to notice her, and Linus ponders what life would be like without his blanket. Can Snoopy save the day? Find out in this new collection of the classic Peanuts comics.

    After planning the entire trip on the back of a beer mat, buying a 1958 decommissioned milk float on eBay, and charging its tired batteries, the team set off from Lowestoft to Lands End. On the way, they discovered that their float needs to charge for eight hours for every two hours it spends on the road. Relying on the milk of human kindness, they were at the mercy of strangers every night, sometimes even using other people's cookers just to keep the show on the road. En route, they were treated to tea and rock cakes by the Vice President of the Women's Institutes, succeeded in blacking out a Cornish campsite while charging their float (now dubbed The Mighty One), stayed with the monks at Buckfast Abbey where they undertook a vow of silence, and drove 500 miles to Tintagel, the birth place of King Arthur, only to find it had closed—all in the name of discovering lost England. You may be thinking: why on earth don't these men drive a car like normal people? But this is no ordinary journey. This is an eccentric odyssey through the English countryside. Three Men in a Float is about all things English and the pleasure to be had if you are prepared to slow down, get out of your car, and go off the beaten track.

    Satan's Advice to Young Lawyers is a pithy guide to rising from lowly first-year associate to renowned leader of the legal community.Inside the pages of this remarkable book, Satan offers his profound counsel on topics as diverse as choosing evil as a path to power, the billable hour, how to steal clients from your law firm, fashion, and more.Do not let your competition have these secrets for themselves. Get the book now.This profound guidebook makes a great gift for your favorite law student, bar exam taker, bar exam passer or new lawyer.

    In the seventy years since, his wit (and the occasional ‘gaffe’) has continued to endear him to the nation, as he travelled the world taking his unique and charmingly British sense of humour to its far-flung corners. Hailed as a god by a tribe in Vanuatu, the Prince has had his fair share of brickbats from the media nearer home, but his outspokenness never fails to raise laughs – and eyebrows.From notorious one-liners to less newsworthy witticisms and from plain speaking to blunt indifference, the Prince does what we all wish we could do now and again – forgets polite conversation and says what he thinks. In the year in which the Prince has stepped down from his royal duties, this joyous and timely book celebrates his wry humour and supremely wicked wit.

    Every day is a new hell for her, oscillating between torture and death, with a quickly dimming flicker of hope that one day she will find her way back home. But will she? What does home really mean to a fractured soul? In anguish, it appears the whole world delights in schadenfreude, while God lies in wait. In wait for what, no one knows. ***A provocative concoction of realism, mystery and myth in a dystopian tone. Throughout the reading, a sense of pain carries forward till the end and it endures. A disturbing impactful debut novel - The New Indian express Will leave a deep impact on the readers. The details and tone of the story are haunting. Incredible writing - The news up About the Author: Sujith Balakrishnan was born in Kerala, India. An engineer by profession, he lives in UAE. This is his Debut Novel. He can be contacted at - sujithwriter2018@gmail.com

     Running a group home for at-risk kids is challenging enough, but everything changes when he witnesses a murder. And not just any murder. A serial killer has stalked the city for weeks and Paul is the only witness. The press haunts his every move, broadcasting his identity to the world, ensuring the killer not only knows who he is, but where to find him. The media spotlight could destroy the life he's so carefully constructed, because the killer isn't the only one hiding a secret. Not even the woman he loves knows the truth about his past. His secret is between him and God, and Paul's determined to keep it that way. US Marshal Milana Tanner is as tough as she is stubborn. The threat to Paul is real and experience has demonstrated the dire consequences of the wrong decision. In spite of her best efforts, Paul refuses all offers of protection. Between professional threats and the dangers facing Paul, she's spread thin, but she won't give up - or back down - until she knows Paul is safe... even if it requires putting herself in harm's way. As the killer escalates and circles closer, Paul and Milana fight to shield the people around them from a man with nothing to lose. Together, they'll do anything, and risk everything, to keep the children in Paul's care safe. When the killer strikes again, Paul goes after him personally. Stopping the killer will shake his faith in God and force him to confront his dark past. Will he be forced to sacrifice everything he holds dear to protect the people he loves most? Deadly Devotion, book two in the Deadly Alliances series, is a gripping story of danger, faith, and the power of truth to bring freedom in the lives of God's people.

    Now, to celebrate a decade of delighting opera fans and foes alike, musical historian and humorist David Barber has prepared a special revised and expanded edition of his hilarious bestselling history of opera. Chapters such as Serious Buffoonery, Teutonic Tunesmiths and, of course, Italian Sausage Machines display Barber's rapier wit and knack for knowing fascinating, if sometimes useless, information about music, musicians and the offbeat world they live in. This expanded edition includes new material ranging from Strauss to ragtime, opera to the Tenor Menace. From Italian castrati to German Ring-bearers, from Handel's fights with rival sopranos to Puccini's nicotine habit, the author of Bach, Beethoven and the Boys and Tenors, Tantrums and Trills delivers a funny yet informative, irreverent yet affectionate history of serious music's most serious art form as only he can - and as only he would dare to do.

    Here is Erma Bombeck, laughing her way through childhood, marriage, motherhood, and celebrity status, even keeping her sense of humor as she battled terminal illness.

    This is a book about surviving it." I felt like a babyless freak. No matter what we tried, I couldn’t get pregnant, even after standing on my head after sex. I was pretty sure I was the only woman on the planet going through infertility, certainly the only one jamming needles into my butt on commercial breaks during my favorite TV shows. Everyone was getting pregnant around me and no one was talking about what happened if you couldn’t. After my experience, I wanted to write a book for other infertile women and couples who feel alone, the book I wish I’d had when I was going through it, filled with dark humor and illustrations of quirky ovaries and whimsical sperm. If you’re like me, you want blunt, honest conversations about all the crazy stuff you’re going through with someone who’s been there and understands at least some of what you’re dealing with and how you’re feeling. And if it can somehow give you permission to laugh without diminishing the pain you’re feeling? Even better. This is the funnest book you’ll ever read about the worst thing that’s ever happened to you. Each chapter covers a different challenge with infertility and is broken into sections, a little of my story and concerns, a blurb from my husband, Alex, kind of a window into his dudely brain, and practical tips on how to cope. Read it yourself, read it as a couple, and if you’re struggling to explain your feelings to friends and family, hurl a copy at them and run away. I really wish you didn’t need this book, but since you do, come on over. You’re not alone.

    This is the story of one man's quest to get the entire Amazon Kindle library for free and the repercussions of what an insane obsession could bring.

    Jokes? People tell jokes on Twitter? YES, they do. And they are hilarious ... but who wants to sift through the hashtags, RTs and FFs to get to the good stuff? WE GET IT! Parents don’t have time for all that. That’s why the duo behind the illustrated humor blog Science of Parenthood teamed up with Twitter maven Kate Hall of Hall of Tweets to create The Big Book of Parenting Tweets —a laugh-riot collection of more than three-hundred tweetable moments straight from the parenting trenches from the most hysterical comedians on Twitter, who just happen to be parents. Here is just a peek at some of what you’ll find inside:My 4yo is trying to sell my own M&M's back to me. This guy's going places.— @FatherWithTwinsWith my wife away, my children keep asking me for things like meals and bandaids and sympathy, but I don't know where we keep any of that.— @KalvinMacleodShe took 4 y/o to the park & texted "Can I get her ice-cream?"Get her a Heineken for all I care. Free babysitters get to call the shots.— @BunmiLaditanI wish bottles of ibuprofen came with a little prize inside, like maybe a babysitter.— @SuburbanSnapsTo anyone out there thinking about having kids, today my 2yo threw a temper tantrum because she couldn’t get rid of her shadow. — @XplodingUnicornPeppered with cartoons by Science of Parenthood, The Big Book of Parenting Tweets is the perfect gift for every over-worked, under-showered, sleep-deprived parent who could use a quick laugh, because who has time for more?

    His journey from the treadmill in North London to the mountains of Wales to the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway illuminates the meaning of the egalitarian race, the only sport where any weekend jogger can run with world-class champions. For everyone who has contemplated running the marathon or watched from the sidelines feeling an uneasy mix of envy and gratitude, this comical and inspiring account will change their understanding of the legendary race.