To Have and to Hold: Motherhood, Marriage, and the Modern Dilemma


Molly Millwood - 2019
    But what she did not expect was what she would lose: aspects of her identity, a baseline level of happiness, a general sense of wellbeing. And though she had the benefit of a supportive husband during this transition, she also at times resented the fact that the disruption to his life seemed to pale in comparison to hers.As a clinical psychologist, Molly knew her experience was a normal response to a life-changing event. But without the advantage of such a perspective, many of the patients she treated in her private practice grappled with self-doubt, guilt, and fear, and suffered the dual pain of not only the struggle to adjust but also the overwhelming shame for struggling at all.In To Have and to Hold, Molly explores the complex terrain of new motherhood, illuminating the ways it affects women psychologically, emotionally, physically, and professionally—as well as how it impacts their partnership. Along with the arrival of a bundle of joy come thorny issues such as self-worth, control, autonomy, and dependency. And for most new mothers, these issues are experienced within the context of an intimate relationship, adding another layer of tension, conflict, and confusion to an already challenging time.As Molly examines the inextricable link between women’s well-being as new mothers and the well-being of their relationships, she offers guidance to help readers reclaim their identities, overcome their guilt and shame, and repair their relationships. A blend of personal narrative, scientific research, and stories from Molly’s clinical practice, To Have and to Hold provides a much-needed lifeline to new mothers everywhere.

Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough


Lori Gottlieb - 2010
    So what if you haven't found The One just yet. Surely he'll come along, right? But what if he doesn't? Or even worse, what if he already has, but you just didn't realize it? Suddenly finding herself forty and single, Lori Gottlieb said the unthinkable in her March 2008 article in "The Atlantic" Maybe she and single women everywhere, needed to stop chasing the elusive Prince Charming and instead go for Mr. Good Enough. Looking at her friends' happy marriages to good enough guys who happen to be excellent husbands and fathers, Gottlieb declared it time to reevaluate what we really need in a partner. Her ideas created a firestorm of controversy from outlets like the "Today" show to "The Washington Post," which wrote, "Given the perennial shortage of perfect men, Gottlieb's probably got a point," to "Newsweek" and NPR, which declared, "Lori Gottlieb didn't want to take her mother's advice to be less picky, but now that she's turned forty, she wonders if her mother is right." Women all over the world were talking. But while many people agreed that they should have more realistic expectations, what did that actually mean out in the real world, where Gottlieb and women like her were inexorably drawn to their "type"? That's where "Marry Him" comes in. By looking at everything from culture to biology, in "Marry Him" Gottlieb frankly explores the dilemma that so many women today seem to face--how to reconcile the strong desire for a husband and family with a list of must-haves so long and complicated that many great guys get rejected out of the gate. Here Gottlieb shares her own journey in the quest for romantic fulfillment, and in the process gets wise guidance and surprising insights from marital researchers, matchmakers, dating coaches, behavioral economists, neuropsychologists, sociologists, couples therapists, divorce lawyers, and clergy--as well as single and married men and women, ranging in age from their twenties to their sixties. "Marry Him" is an eye-opening, often funny, sometimes painful, and always truthful in-depth examination of the modern dating landscape, and ultimately, a provocative wake-up call about getting real about Mr. Right.

Seven Sins for a Life Worth Living


Roger Housden - 2005
    “The purpose of this book,” says Housden, “is to inspire you to lighten up and fall in love with the world and all that is in it.” Reading it is a pleasure indeed.“When you die,God and the angels will hold you accountablefor all the pleasures you were allowed in life that you denied yourself.”Roger Housden, author of the bestselling Ten Poems series, presents a joyously affirmative, warmly personal, and spiritually illuminating meditation on the virtues of opening ourselves up to pleasures like being foolish, not being perfect, and doing nothing useful, the pleasure of not knowing, and even (would you believe it?) the pleasure of being ordinary.

The Mindful Attraction Plan: Your Practical Roadmap to Creating the Life, Love and Success You Want


Athol Kay - 2013
    The Mindful Attraction Plan is a very neat packaging of wisdom from a number of different sources, and that's exactly what makes it stand out. It's simple, easy-to-use and more importantly, it just plain works. " -Brian C Rideout "The Wild Man Project"Most threats of ending relationships in hope of change, fail because of extremely poor timing. The MAP covers the pacing of the escalation toward the Resolution Point. Most serious attempts to change things happen in the heat of the moment, which is typically a negative emotion blowout and ineffective. The MAP keeps things calm and steady in the hope that your partner starts acting like a reasonable person and the relationship can start turning positive.The first part of the book is a very clear description of exactly how you become more attractive as fast as possible. Covering six areas of development you need to focus on:(1) Physical Fitness and Health (2) Money and Material Possessions (3) Displays of High Value (4) Building Relationship Comfort (5) Personality and Preferences (6) High-Energy SexWithin each area there's a traffic light color coded system for things you need to do. Red = Draining Energy = Stop It Yellow = Stagnant Energy = Fix It Green = Flowing Energy = Do It.There's no confusion about what you should be doing to improve your attractiveness and I even cover the exact order of importance your addressing things needs to follow. The (1) to (6) order is very important for example.The second part of the book covers the seven phase approach to taking your new attraction and leveraging that into getting what you want from your relationships.

Project Everlasting: Two Bachelors Discover the Secrets of America's Greatest Marriages


Mathew Boggs - 2007
    Roped into chauffeuring his grandma and dying grandfather on weekly adventures, he realized that, sixty-three years later, they were still madly in love."Now, that's the marriage I want!" he said to himself. Fired up to find more success stories, Mat talked his best friend, Jason Miller, a clueless commitmentphobe, into joining him on a cross-country search for America's greatest marriages, which they called "Project Everlasting." The two bumbling bachelors jumped in an RV and embarked on a 12,000-mile adventure, encompassing the beaches of Los Angeles, the skyscrapers of Manhattan, the bayous of Louisiana, and the mountains of Montana, to discover what it takes to make love last -- not from Ph.D.s or therapists but from more than 200 real couples who had walked the walk to more than forty years of marriage. In Project Everlasting, they share their wisdom. Each chapter is dedicated to one of the pressing quest ions the bachelors asked the couples, such as: •"How do you know you've found The One?" •"What's missing from today's marriages?" •"How do you keep the romance alive?" •"What's the most important ingredient for a solid marriage?" The couples opened their hearts and homes to Mat and Jason to reveal intimate and authentic portraits of fulfilling marriage. Couples like the Byrds, in New Orleans, who lost nearly everything they owned in the devastation of Katrina -- except their love and commitment to each other. Or ninety-somethings Ruth and Eddie Elcott in Los Angeles, who spent the first two years of their marriage separated by World War II and the later years of their marriage reading their wartime love letters to each other at bedtime.

The Mingling of Souls: God's Design for Love, Marriage, Sex, and Redemption


Matt Chandler - 2015
    We need it. Because emotions rise and fall with a single glance, touch, kiss, or word. And we are inundated with songs, movies, and advice that contradicts God's design for love and intimacy. Matt Chandler helps navigate these issues for both singles and marrieds by revealing the process Solomon himself followed: Attraction, Courtship, Marriage ... even Arguing. The Mingling of Souls will forever change how you view and approach love.

Setting Boundaries with Difficult People


David J. Lieberman - 2010
    David J. Lieberman, introduces a wonderful right-to-the-point book that shows readers how to put an end to boundary issues once and for all!A work colleague with whom you have only a casual relationship asks you to co-sign a loan for him . . . your neighbor asks you to keep her antisocial, flea-riddled cat for the weekend — again. We've all faced sticky situations like these — unreasonable demands on our time and inappropriate requests from family, friends, co-workers or casual acquaintances. We want to say No. We have the right to say No — always. And yet we don't. Maybe you tell yourself that you don’t want to make waves or ruffle feathers, or that it’s simply not worth it; but part of you simmers with anger and frustration that you didn’t speak up and do something— anything.Isn't it ironic how a two-year-old can bark a resounding and guilt-free NO! without batting an eye, yet we grown-ups often find ourselves saying Yes when we mean to say No? Or we say "Let me think about it . . .” and agonize for weeks over how to say, inevitably, No. We've all had our share of freeloaders, mooches, encroachers, interlopers, high-maintenance acquaintances — many of whom are repeat offenders. We've all had to deal with people who ask for favors that are inappropriate or unreasonable because they exceed the boundaries of our relationship with them. And we think, Why doesn't he realize he's crossing the line? The answer is: Because he doesn't know where the line is, or he doesn't care. The problem, as you're about to learn, is leaky boundaries. Some people have such permeable, poorly-defined boundaries that they have no concept of where they end and you begin. Some people will take No for an answer and that's the end of it. But some people don't. What do you do when the person on the other end of your No flat out refuses to accept your No?You'll discover exactly what to say as well as learn the underlying psychology that motivates them to always ask, and you to always give in!

Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy: A Guide to Getting Over Your Partner's Past and Finding Peace


Zachary Stockill - 2013
    That's where I come in. Written from the rare perspective of one who has struggled with, and eventually overcome, intense jealousy surrounding my partner's past, "Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy" is the only guide you will ever need to letting go of jealous thoughts and anxiety about your partner’s past, overcoming constant unrest and worry, and finding greater peace. You might currently feel hopeless; like retroactive jealousy is something that you’ll just be forced to “live with” until you die. You might even be severely depressed, mired in obsessive jealous thoughts and confusion. I used to feel the same way. I'm here to tell you that you are suffering needlessly. In nineteen chapters, I outline effective strategies, practices, and exercises for confronting, and eventually overcoming, jealousy regarding your partner’s past as painlessly and efficiently as possible. After reading this guidebook you will: - have access to a new multi-step program that will help you to let go of your jealousy and anxiety - begin incorporating coping exercises into your daily routine which will reduce your jealous thoughts as soon as they appear - feel a new sense of optimism and confidence in your ability to grow and overcome retroactive jealousy - understand what your jealousy is really trying to tell you Overcoming retroactive jealousy wasn’t easy, but I am undoubtedly a stronger, more confident, more loving and overall better man for having gone through it. My jealousy turned out to be a blessing in disguise -- seriously. It might not seem like it now, but you too can use jealousy to your advantage. As you progress, you will emerge a stronger, more confident, more attractive, and more loving person and partner — and it’s my pleasure to guide you every step of the way. What my readers are saying: "Thanks for writing such a great book… It’s superb. Your advice has already given me instant help. I see the problem clearly and feel empowered to start the battle." - Ryan, UK "I cannot express to you how grateful I am for your book… The help that your book has given me, and the hope you instilled in me is priceless. It would be an understatement to say I would recommend this book to sufferers of RJ. This should be compulsory reading for all sufferers of jealousy." - Jeremy, USA "Your book was better than professional therapy... I’ve gone from crying and feeling helpless all day, to functioning at about 90%, with reassurance that I WILL get back to 100%. - Nick, USA Visit http://www.retroactivejealousy.com/ov... for more testimonials. You need to know that you can move on from retroactive jealousy, and reassert control over your life. You can get a hold on your brain, and patterns of compulsive questioning and obsessive thoughts. You can be the partner you want to be — you just have to understand where retroactive jealousy comes from, and how to deal with it. So let’s get started!

Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment


Steve Harvey - 2009
    Steve Harvey dispenses a lot of fabulous information about men.”—Aretha FranklinThe #1 New York Times bestseller from the new guru of relationship advice, Steve Harvey’s Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man is an invaluable self-help book that can empower women everywhere to take control of their relationships. The host of a top-rated radio show listened to by millions daily—and of cable TV’s The Steve Harvey Project—Harvey knows what men really think about love, intimacy, and commitment. In Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, the author, media personality, and stand-up comedian gets serious, sharing his wealth of knowledge, insight, and no-nonsense advice for every good woman who wants to find a good man or make her current love last.

Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex


Mary Roach - 2008
    Can a person think herself to orgasm? Why doesn't Viagra help women-or, for that matter, pandas? Can a dead man get an erection? Is vaginal orgasm a myth? Mary Roach shows us how and why sexual arousal and orgasm-two of the most complex, delightful, and amazing scientific phenomena on earth-can be so hard to achieve and what science is doing to make the bedroom a more satisfying place.

Fair Play: A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do (And More Life to Live)


Eve Rodsky - 2019
    Tired of being the "shefault" parent responsible for all aspects of her busy household, Eve Rodsky counted up all the unpaid, invisible work she was doing for her family -- and then sent that list to her husband, asking for things to change. His response was... underwhelming. Rodsky realized that simply identifying the issue of unequal labor on the home front wasn't enough: She needed a solution to this universal problem. Her sanity, identity, career, and marriage depended on it. The result is Fair Play: a time- and anxiety-saving system that offers couples a completely new way to divvy up domestic responsibilities. Rodsky interviewed more than five hundred men and women from all walks of life to figure out what the invisible work in a family actually entails and how to get it all done efficiently. With four easy-to-follow rules, 100 household tasks, and a figurative card game you play with your partner, Fair Play helps you prioritize what's important to your family and who should take the lead on every chore from laundry to homework to dinner. "Winning" this game means rebalancing your home life, reigniting your relationship with your significant other, and reclaiming your Unicorn Space -- as in, the time to develop the skills and passions that keep you interested and interesting. Are you ready to try Fair Play? Let's deal you in.

The Case for Falling in Love: Why We Can't Master the Madness of Love -- And Why That's the Best Part


Mari Ruti - 2011
    A must-read for anyone who has ever fallen in love, wants to, or wants to know what went wrong." -Arianne Cohen, creator of TheSexDiariesProject.com"At last, a relationship advice book that will actually work. If you're intelligent, interested in love, and like a book you can't put down, this is it. John Gray, move over. The brilliant Mari Ruti has arrived." -Juliet Schor, professor of sociology, Boston College, and author of Born to Buy and Plenitude: The New Economics of True Wealth"Groundbreaking...Ruti opens the eyes of her readers so that they can love better...A must-read." -Nancy Redd, New York Times bestselling author of Body Drama"Finally, a book that takes love seriously. Written with passion and verve...I wish I had read this book years ago!" -Sean Carroll, author of From Eternity to Here: The Quest for the Ultimate Theory of TimeAre you tired of reading book after book and playing game after game, trying to avoid heartbreak? It seems impossible, and maybe that's because you can't lock up your heart like that-not if you want the real thing. And maybe that's one of the best things about love.We've been thinking about it all wrong. Our culture's insistence that women need to learn how to catch and keep a man is actually doing much more harm than good. The more we try to manipulate our relationships, the less we are truly able to experience love's benefits and wonders.Love is a slippery, unruly thing, and trying to control and manage it robs us of its delicious unpredictability.Sure, letting go of the reins a bit might mean a broken heart, but heartbreak, in fact, offers a wealth of possibilities-creativity, wisdom, and growth-that we need in order to make the most of our lives.Liberating for women who are frustrated by the idea that they just need to learn the right "formula," The Case for Falling in Love shows that there isn't a method to mastering the madness of love. But that might be exactly what's so wonderful about it.

Choosing Civility: The Twenty-Five Rules of Considerate Conduct


P.M. Forni - 2002
    In Choosing Civility, P. M. Forni identifies the twenty-five rules that are most essential in connecting effectively and happily with others. In clear, witty, and, well...civilized language, Forni covers topics that include:* Think Twice Before Asking Favors* Give Constructive Criticism* Refrain from Idle Complaints* Respect Others' Opinions* Don't Shift Responsibility and Blame* Care for Your Guests * Accept and Give PraiseFinally, Forni provides examples of how to put each rule into practice and so make life-and the lives of others-more enjoyable, companionable, and rewarding.Choosing Civility is a simple, practical, perfectly measured, and quietly magical handbook on the lost art of civility and compassion."Insightful meditation on how changing the way we think can improve our daily lives. ... A deft exploration that urges us to think before speaking." --Kirkus, Starred Review

Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm, and Confidence


Rick Hanson - 2013
    Dr. Hanson’s four steps build strengths into your brain— balancing its ancient negativity bias—making contentment and a powerful sense of resilience the new normal. In mere minutes each day, we can transform our brains into refuges and power centers of calm and happiness.

Small Victories: Spotting Improbable Moments of Grace


Anne Lamott - 2014
    It’s an approach that has become her trademark. Now in Small Victories, Lamott offers a new message of hope that celebrates the triumph of light over the darkness in our lives. Our victories over hardship and pain may seem small, she writes, but they change us—our perceptions, our perspectives, and our lives. Lamott writes of forgiveness, restoration, and transformation, how we can turn toward love even in the most hopeless situations, how we find the joy in getting lost and our amazement in finally being found.Profound and hilarious, honest and unexpected, the stories in Small Victories are proof that the human spirit is irrepressible.