Mercury Swings


Robert Kroese - 2011
    In Mercury Rises, they team up once again to battle Horace Finch, a crazed billionaire who plans to uncover the deepest secrets of the Universe -- and likely annihilate it in the process.But how did Mercury did mixed up with all this stuff in the first place?Travel back in time to ancient Mesopotamia, where Mercury is on one of his very first assignments for the Apocalypse Bureau. His mission: to prevent the the jazz age from arriving 3800 years too early. Aided or impeded by such colorful characters as a funk weed-smoking bouncer; Enoch, the precocious sax player; and a goat named Taco; Mercury must make it out of an anachronistic watering hole unscathed. Will Mercury manage to extract Enoch via an interplanar portal and beat it back to Babylon before humankind evolves Bronze Age flappers? And will he ever get the hang of transmogrification? Find out in Mercury Swings!

How the Marquis Got His Coat Back


Neil Gaiman - 2015
    The coat. It was elegant. It was beautiful. It was so close that he could have reached out and touched it.And it was unquestionably his.

Family Wars Episode I: The Forced Dinner, Starring Dark Zader: Star Wars Parody, Kid's Books, Books For Kids, Children, Sci-fi, Parody Books, Teen Books, Fiction Books for Teens, Humorous Books)


Tyler Shaw - 2015
    Dark Zader was one of the most powerful men in the galaxy, but when he threw his emperor down a shaft, he found himself without a job. Living with his kids and down on his luck, he finds that he only has one solution, beg for his old job back from the very emperor he thought he'd killed. Read as this family of rebel scum scrambles to prepare a dinner fit for an emperor in the most ridiculous culinary experience ever. Double the excitement. Triple the laughs. Paintbrush illustrations. This is... Family Wars Episode I: The Forced Dinner

Another Fairy Bastard: Rise of the New Arcana


Ron Randall - 2020
    

Werebear Scare


Nova Nelson - 2021
    Now in her mid-forties, she’s starting to feel like she’s seen it all.But that’s about to change.When a simple case of a missing werebear takes an unexpected turn, Eastwind’s angel sheriff enlists Ruby’s psychic gifts to help find the culprit. But a string of suspicious attacks and rumblings of an old sinister legend lead Ruby True and Sheriff Bloom into uncharted territory.Will they find the one responsible for the carnage before it finds them?Werebear Scare: An Eastwind Witches Paranormal Cozy Mystery is the first book of the Ruby True Magical Mystery series that takes place 30 years before the Eastwind Witches Cozy Mysteries. If you like strong female friendships, gossipy quaint towns, and lighthearted humor, you will love Nova Nelson's delightful tale!Buy Werebear Scare to solve the mystery today!Note: This is a second edition and was previously published under the series True & Bloom.

Perfectly Impossible


Elizabeth Topp - 2020
    An artist at heart, Anna works a day job as a private assistant for Bambi Von Bizmark, a megarich Upper East Side matriarch who’s about to be honored at the illustrious Opera Ball.Caught between the staid world of great wealth and her unconventional life as an artist, Anna struggles with her true calling. If she’s supposed to be a painter, why is she so much more successful as a personal assistant? When her boyfriend lands a fancy new job, it throws their future as a couple into doubt and intensifies Anna’s identity crisis. All she has to do is ensure everything runs smoothly and hold herself together until the Opera Ball is over. How hard could that be?Featuring a vibrant array of characters from the powerful to the proletarian, Perfectly Impossible offers a glimpse into a world you’ll never want to leave.

Over the Woodward Wall


A. Deborah Baker - 2020
    Everything he does is precise, from the way he washes his face in the morning, to the way he completes his homework – without complaint, without fuss, without prompt.Zib is also an exceptional child, because all children are, in their own way. But where everything Avery does and is can be measured, nothing Zib does can possibly be predicted, except for the fact that she can always be relied upon to be unpredictable.They live on the same street.They live in different worlds.On an unplanned detour from home to school one morning, Avery and Zib find themselves climbing over a stone wall into the Up and Under – an impossible land filled with mystery, adventure and the strangest creatures.And they must find themselves and each other if they are to also find their way out and back to their own lives.

The Beauty's Groom


Taylor Hart - 2019
    But, with Christmas coming and his estranged father resurfacing into his life, the owner of the Storm insists on Forest getting some therapy. Forget therapy! Doesn’t he have enough to deal with? Dr. L. Lane prides herself on being able to help the toughest cases. Too bad she’s having a personal crisis of her own at the moment. No, she can’t take on the pro football player. And no—the fact he’s cute isn’t reason enough to make an exception. As she finds herself dealing with the hulking mess of a man…she also discovers that he’s the first man…to really see her. And it’s annoying. Will their family issues keep them apart or will they get a Christmas Love?

Between (The Chronicles of Between, #1)


L.L. Starling - 2020
    Sasha Pierce hasn’t had a single dream since she was a child…... until she accepts a substitute teaching position in the charmingly witchy village of Old Middleton. Her first dream in twenty-five years ought to be enchanting, but her wonder quickly turns to shock when she realizes that it’s not a dream at all, but an entirely different sort of magic. Catapulted into the fairy tale kingdom of Between through an ancient portal, Sasha’s astonishment is swiftly upgraded to panic when she accidentally performs a supposedly impossible feat and is declared the True Queen of Between … and betrothed to its infuriatingly handsome sorcerer-king. Lorn, Shadow King of Between, is desperate to break free from Between’s clutches. Magically tethered to the ramshackle kingdom, he wages a daily battle to save his disreputable subjects from rampaging magical creatures, sinkholes, and catastrophes of the distressingly lethal variety. To avoid an early grave, he needs an escape plan, not a wife...until he learns that this magicless mortal holds the key to his freedom. Unwilling to leave her world to accept the crown—or the husband—Sasha must race against the clock to disentangle herself from this fairy tale. But her empty throne leaves a dangerous rift between their worlds. As dark forces descend upon Old Middleton, the two must make a choice: work together or unleash fairytale chaos upon their realms. Between is the spellbinding first novel in The Chronicles of Between fantasy series. Filled with feisty, fairytale-savvy heroines, swoon-worthy sorcerers, slow burn romance, morose minotaurs, and bawdy witches it’s a laugh-out-loud fairy tale romp.

The Ugly Princess: The Legend of the Winnowwood


Henderson Smith - 2014
    I mean staggeringly beautiful, men falling at your feet with hopeless adoration as they gaze upon you dumbfounded. That beautiful. I could become that beautiful if I chose, but only with a steep price. Would you pay the price? Does that call to your heart? It doesn’t call to mine. Yes, when I look at the girl in the mirror, I see a young woman of average height and slight build. I see her lovely emerald green eyes and I see her coarse, orange hair poking out in all directions like some unnatural haystack. I see the forty-seven warts that line her face, which accompany one large lump and two small boils. You’d probably think that I would be more than eager to trade for the great gift of beauty because I know some, if not all of you, would call me hideous. But I don’t think of myself as ugly. I think of myself as powerful, strong and fierce – for I have magical powers – powers that amaze and terrify me at times. And today is the most important day of my life, because today my mother will say the words over me and seal my fate. For I, Olive, am the last of the Winnowwood and this is my story. Based on the award winning screenplay of the same name, The Ugly Princess will take you on an amazing adventure filled with twists, turns and an ending that will take your breath away because it is also a love story of the most unusual, magical kind. “In the tradition of The Princess Bride (with somewhat less whimsy) and The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Making, Smith’s debut is a fairy tale in a new world…. The twists along this charming road make for an enchanting journey.” -- Kirkus Reviews --

Three Wishes


Stephanie Bond - 2011
    Be careful what you wish for...When a lowly antiques dealer who's in love with the governor's girlfriend releases a genie from a magic lamp, he unwittingly wishes himself into a hole the size of the Grand Canyon!

Kill the Farm Boy


Delilah S. Dawson - 2018
    . . and so begins every fairy tale ever told.This is not that fairy tale.There is a Chosen One, but he is unlike any One who has ever been Chosened.And there is a faraway kingdom, but you have never been to a magical world quite like the land of Pell.There, a plucky farm boy will find more than he's bargained for on his quest to awaken the sleeping princess in her cursed tower. First there's the Dark Lord who wishes for the boy's untimely death . . . and also very fine cheese. Then there's a bard without a song in her heart but with a very adorable and fuzzy tail, an assassin who fears not the night but is terrified of chickens, and a mighty fighter more frightened of her sword than of her chain-mail bikini. This journey will lead to sinister umlauts, a trash-talking goat, the Dread Necromancer Steve, and a strange and wondrous journey to the most peculiar "happily ever after" that ever once-upon-a-timed.

Happy Doomsday


David Sosnowski - 2018
    One minute, people are going about their lives, and the next—not. In the wake of the inexplicable purge, only a handful of young misfits remains.When it all went down, “Wizard of Odd” Dev Brinkman was seeking shelter from the taunts of his classmates. Goth girl Lucy Abernathy had lost her best friend and had no clue where to turn. And Twinkie-loving quarterback “Marcus” Haddad was learning why you never discuss politics and religion in polite company—or online.As if life when you’re sixteen isn’t confusing enough, throw in the challenges of postapocalyptic subsistence, a case of survivor’s guilt turned up to seven billion, and the small task of rebuilding humankind…No one said doomsday would be a breeze. But for Dev, Lucy, and Marcus, the greatest hope—and greatest threat—will come when they find each other.

Sister Agatha: The World's Oldest Serial Killer


Domhnall O'Donoghue - 2016
    During a routine check-up, however, her doctor claims she has just a week to live, news that proves to be quite inconvenient, seeing as the beloved sister has one ambition in life: to be the oldest person in the world. At last count, she was the fifth. However, never one to admit defeat, Sister Agatha concocts a bold Plan B. Dusting off her passport, she decides to leave Irish shores for the first time in her very long life, and using the few days remaining, plans to travel across three continents and meet the only four people whose birthday cakes boast more candles than hers. And then, one by one, she intends on killing them. What the media is saying: "Domhnall [has] some mind...When they say 'comic thriller', this book does what it says on the tin...There is so much in it to enjoy...It works really, really well." ~ Gerry Kelly, Late Lunch, LMFM Radio Interview: http://utv.vo.llnwd.net/o16/LMFM/2016... • • • "A laugh-out-loud, globe-trotting adventure that is wildly unique with an enormous amount of heart. And despite Sister Agatha being a considerable 118 years of age, the naughty nun still has more energy than a school playground! One of the year's best débuts." ~ Jennifer Zamparelli, presenter of 2FM's Breakfast Republic

The Last Citadel


K.M. Ashman - 2011
    A solitary fortress isolated in an endless sea. A city of secrets where the elite dominate with an iron fist and ambition ends at the city walls. Ordinarily the city is surrounded by water but one day a month when the moon is at its highest, the water recedes and uncovers the causeways linking the city to the outer towers. This is Moon-day, the time when the trades bring their specialities to market and the whole Citadel enjoy the celebrations the festival brings, so when the city’s stargazer predicts the water level will drop even further, nobody takes any notice.Soon enough and despite the people's indifference, the predictions are proved correct and as the sea falls it reveals secrets that have never been known before. Secrets that are at first exciting....then disturbing .....and ultimately.....terrifying