Confessions of the Other Mother: Nonbiological Lesbian Moms Tell All!


Harlyn Aizley - 2006
    Together, they searched for stories about families like their own, in which a woman has chosen to forgo her own birth experience so that she might support her partner in hers. They found very few. Now, in Confessions of the Other Mother, Aizley has put together an exciting collection of personal stories by women like her partner who are creating new parenting roles, redefining motherhood, and reshaping our view of two-parent families. Contributors include Hillary Goodridge, who was one of the lead plaintiffs in the case for same-sex marriage in Massachusetts, stand-up comedian Judy Gold, and psychologist and author Suzanne M. Johnson.This candid peek into a previously unexamined side of lesbian parenting is full of stories that are sometimes humorous, sometimes moving, but at all times celebratory. Each parenting tale sheds light on the many facets of motherhood, offering gay and straight readers alike a deeper understanding of what it means to love and parent in the twenty-first century.

My Miserable, Lonely, Lesbian Pregnancy


Andrea Askowitz - 2008
    Along the way we meet her liberal parents as they struggle with their daughter's choices, the lover she longs to reconnect with who goes M.I.A. before the pregnancy, the friends who turn out to be no help at all and strangers who offer up some unlikely kindness. Andrea presents herself real, raw, impossibly cranky yet deeply touching with her self-deprecating dark sense of humor that will make you wince or better yet send you into uncontrollable fits of laughter.

She Looks Just Like You: A Memoir of (Nonbiological Lesbian) Motherhood


Amie Klempnauer Miller - 2010
    Or something like that.Over the next nine months, as her partner became the biological mom-to-be, Miller became . . . what? Mommy's little helper? A faux dad? As a midwestern, station wagon-driving, stay-at-home mom--and as a nonbiological lesbian mother--Miller both defines and defies the norm. Like new parents everywhere, she wrestled with the anxieties and challenges of first-time parenthood-including neurotic convictions that her child was chronically ill and the muddled confusion of sleeplessness. But unlike most mothers, she experienced pregnancy and birth only vicariously. Unlike biological parents, she had to stand before a judge to adopt her own daughter. And unlike most straight parents, she wondered how to respond when strangers gushed, "I bet Daddy's proud," or "She has your eyes." Miller began searching for a role that would fit her experience, somewhere in the unexplored zone between mother and father, gay and straight. Sometimes she felt like a dad in drag, other times like a lesbian June Cleaver. Through it all, she and her partner became something new--even as the presence of a baby rattled the bones of their eighteen-year relationship. Part love story, part comedy, part quest, Miller's candid and often humorous memoir is a much-needed cultural roadmap to what it means to become a parent, even when the usual categories do not fit.

Raised By Unicorns: Stories from People with LGBTQ+ Parents


Frank Lowe - 2018
    . . . [I]t relates to all families, tolerance, and love." — Greg Berlanti, writer, producer, director "Raw and unfiltered. . . Lowe breaks new ground, highlighting the dire need for further exploration. 5 Hearts." — Foreword Reviews "[A] powerful eye-opener." — Amanda Hopping-Winn, chief program officer, Family Equality Council  "Raw, personal, and uncensored, this must-read book gives us insight as to what it’s like to be raised by same-gender parents and how that can impact one’s life." —Eric Rosswood, author of The Ultimate Guide for Gay Dads and Journey to Same-Sex Parenthood In recent years, the world has been saturated by endless blogs, articles, and books devoted to the subject of LGBTQ+ parenting. On the flip side, finding stories written by the children of LGBTQ+ parents is akin to searching for a needle in a haystack. Now that the world is more accepting than ever of non-traditional families, it's time to create a literary space for this not-so-unique, shared, but completely individual experience. In Raised by Unicorns: Stories from People with LGBTQ+ Parents, Frank Lowe has carefully edited an anthology that reflects on the upbringing of children in many different forms of LGBTQ+ families. From Baby Boomers to Generation Z, it features diverse stories that express the distinctiveness of this shared journey and of each particular family. It's visceral, raw, and not always pretty, but love is always the common thread. Lowe candidly reveals true accounts of this particular niche of humanity, while simultaneously creating a moving snapshot of the world in which we live. Raised by Unicorns guides the reader through an empathetic journey that is nothing short of compelling and poignant. We've all heard the phrase "raised by wolves." Now we have a window into the complex world of being Raised by Unicorns.

Missed Her


Ivan E. Coyote - 2010
    Coyote is a master storyteller and performer; their beautiful, funny stories about growing up a lesbian butch in the Canadian north have attracted big audiences whether gay, straight, or otherwise. Missed Her is Ivan's fifth story collection, following 2008's Lambda-nominated The Slow Fix and Bow Grip, their novel that was named a Stonewall Honor Book by the American Library Association. Whether discussing the politics of being a butch with a pet lapdog or berating a gay newspaper for considering butches and trans people as "extreme," Ivan traverses issues of gender and identity with a wistful, perceptive eye.

Ultimate Guide to Pregnancy for Lesbians: How to Stay Sane and Care for Yourself from Pre-Conception Through Birth


Rachel Pepper - 1999
    Rachel Pepper's lively, easy-to-read guide is the first place to go for up-to-date information and sage advice on everything from sex in the sixth month to negotiating family roles. Why a second edition? When the acclaimed first edition appeared, the author's daughter was only a few months old. This new edition takes into account the parenting know-how Pepper has developed over the intervening six years, as well as the evolving legal status of lesbian parents, and the increasing importance of the Internet for information on fertility, sperm banks, and donors. The resource section is greatly expanded, as are the sections on each trimester of pregnancy, on childbirth, and on life with a newborn. And Pepper provides more insight into preconception planning for both single lesbians and couples. An indispensable resource, The Ultimate Guide to Pregnancy for Lesbians is now bigger and better.

Queer and Trans Artists of Color: Stories of Some of Our Lives


Nia King - 2014
    Mixed-race queer art activist Nia King left a full-time job in an effort to center her life around making art. Grappling with questions of purpose, survival, and compromise, she started a podcast called We Want the Airwaves in order to pick the brains of fellow queer and trans artists of color about their work, their lives, and "making it" - both in terms of success and in terms of survival.In this collection of interviews, Nia discusses fat burlesque with Magnoliah Black, queer fashion with Kiam Marcelo Junio, interning at Playboy with Janet Mock, dating gay Latino Republicans with Julio Salgado, intellectual hazing with Kortney Ryan Ziegler, gay gentrification with Van Binfa, getting a book deal with Virgie Tovar, the politics of black drag with Micia Mosely, evading deportation with Yosimar Reyes, weird science with Ryka Aoki, gay public sex in Africa with Nick Mwaluko, thin privilege with Fabian Romero, the tyranny of "self-care" with Lovemme Corazon, "selling out" with Miss Persia and Daddie$ Pla$tik, the self-employed art activist hustle with Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarsinha, and much, much more. Welcome to the future of QPOC art activism.

Families Like Mine: Children of Gay Parents Tell It Like It Is


Abigail Garner - 2004
    Like the millions of children growing up in these families today, she often found herself in the middle of the political and moral debates surrounding lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) parenting.Drawing on a decade of community organizing, and interviews with more than fifty grown sons and daughters of LGBT parents, Garner addresses such topics as coming out to children, facing homophobia at school, co-parenting with ex-partners, the impact of AIDS, and the children's own sexuality.Both practical and deeply personal, Families Like Mine provides an invaluable insider's perspective for LGBT parents, their families, and their allies.

First Person Queer: Who We Are (So Far)


Richard Labonté - 2007
    These are the stories of contemporary gay and lesbian life—and by definition, are funny, sad, hopeful, and truthful. Representing a diversity of genders, ages, races, and orientations, and edited by two acclaimed writers and anthologists (who between them have written or edited almost one hundred books), First Person Queer puts the “personal” back into “queer.”

Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People Speak Out


Loraine Hutchins - 1991
    In this groundbreaking anthology, more than seventy women and men from all walks of life describe their lives as bisexuals in prose, poetry, art, and essays

Waiting in the Wings: Portrait of a Queer Motherhood


Cherríe L. Moraga - 1997
    This is the story of "one small human being's struggle for survival", the author's two-and-one-half pound premature baby boy.While the specifics belong to Moraga and her loved ones -- her large close-knit biological clan; her long-term partner; the child's father -- the tale is told in common with every woman who has experienced the wonder and terror of pregnancy, the trauma of a child's near-death. What is uncommon is that the mother is a lesbian, a writer, a Chicana -- all in the same breath of her storytelling."Lesbians don't make babies with our lovers", she writes. "Our blood doesn't mix". What does mix in Waiting In The Wings are blood and queer relations, Mexican Catholicism and Indian ceremony, butch and femme, life and death -- creating the carne y huesos not only of a baby, but of a family. Familia the author holds to in the grip of labor, sister in one hand, lover in the other. Family whose history she sees written in the dried parchment that is a dying uncle's skin."I am trying to write about the impossible. The ordinary beginning and ending of a life", Cherrie Moraga tells us. So ordinary, in fact, that perhaps Waiting In The Wings is not that "queer" after all.

Getting Bi: Voices of Bisexuals Around the World


Robyn OchsPhillip A. Bernhardt-House - 2005
    Yet bi+ people can often experience isolation and invisibility--even from each other.Getting Bi addresses this by collecting 220 personal essays from 185 bi+ authors from 42 countries (from Australia to Zimbabwe).This book is a safe haven where bi people are celebrated and understood. Bi+ readers will feel comforted, heartened, nourished, and validated. You will find yourself nodding in agreement as you read. You will laugh at relatable experiences. You will receive validation about lived experiences you thought were unique to you. This book is a lifeline to those struggling. You will feel hope and a sense of relief. You will realize that, no matter how isolated as you are, you are not alone.You will hear many stories (which the mainstream leaves out) on the joys of being bisexual.Authors discuss their potential to be attracted--romantically and/or sexually--to people with genders similar to and different from their own. They describe liking, having feelings for, and falling in love with others. Many relate their identity to knowing who they desire, are interested in, and have crushes on. Therefore, many knew who they were bi long before they started dating. Others may never date more than one gender, but accept being bi as crucial to who they are.Each author questioned and subsequently arrived at a greater understanding of their sexuality. So these stories are helpful for anyone undergoing an identity exploration.Authors also bare their souls while processing feelings of anger, angst, doubt, fear, frustration, guilt, sadness, shame, and just being uncomfortable. This book explores many common struggles of bi+ people: - Authors describe dealing with external (or internalized) oppression of all types: biases, biphobia, bi-erasure, heterosexism, homophobia, stereotypes, myths, and general negativity. - Authors describe repeatedly being told they are 'confused' or 'going through a phase.' - Authors describe their struggles with labels. Many get creative and create new terms for themselves or use none at all (demonstrating the broad possibilities of self-identification). - Authors describe the fatigue of having to come out, not once, but over and over again. - Authors describe monosexual partners (and potential partners) who are insecure, feel inadequate, and fearful about dating bi people. - Authors describe seeking refuge in the larger LGBTQ+ community only to realize it may not the safe haven they hoped for. After joining organizations, they have found the 'B' in the LGBT to be in name only (despite all that bi+ people have contributed to the movement).Instead of - or in addition to - trying to fit into potentially less-inclusive LGBTQ+ groups, these authors show that you can seek out and become a member of your own bi+ community which proudly waves its own bi flag. For those who do not yet have bisexual friends, this book offers a peek inside your own community. Reading about others is a great first step to being a part of a supportive and accepting bisexual culture. It will likely inspire you to network, find allies, and build a strong supportive social circle. You will learn about bi+ community leaders, activists, and conferences advocating for the interests of bisexual people. You will learn about bi people who, over the decades, have been organizing movements to fight for social justice, equality, and the rights of each one of us. Drawing from so many different people who have many decades of reflection, you can't help but leave with a deeper understanding and eye-opening epiphanies. It will make you feel empowered and inspired to exercise your freedom of expression. It will give you more courage because of what others, like you, have done. As one reviewer wrote, "This book will make you laugh, cry, get angry, and hopefully open your eyes to the wide range of bisexual experiences."

Where's the Mother? Stories from a Transgender Dad


Trevor MacDonald - 2016
    As a transgender man in a gay relationship, Trevor has gone through the journeys of pregnancy, childbirth, and nursing all while exploring (and sometimes defending) his role as a trans dad. Trevor and his partner tackle all the questions new parents are familiar with, such as: Should we feed our baby breast milk or formula? Should we have a hospital or home birth?Other questions are less familiar: How can a man cope with gender dysphoria when going through such female-coded rituals as childbirth and breastfeeding? How can a person breastfeed after having had chest masculinization surgery? How do we find donor milk to supplement our own modest milk supply?Luckily for the reader, Trevor explains his own answers to these questions with grace and humour. His stories convey the intimate and sometimes surprising realities of the transgender parenting experience. This memoir is a book about being a breastfeeding parent and a transgender man, and the many beautiful, moving, and difficult ways these two identities collide. It reminds us that birth is a fundamental process that lies outside simplistic definitions and concepts. “Where’s the Mother?” is a memoir like no other.

Natural Hospital Birth: The Best of Both Worlds


Cynthia Gabriel - 2011
    In Natural Hospital Birth, doula Cynthia Gabriel asserts that there is no good reason that women in North America should not be able to have both. She shows expectant mothers what they can do to avoid unnecessary medical interventions and how to take initiative and consciously prepare for the kind of birth they want to have. Also included are inspiring stories from other women who know firsthand that natural birth in the hospital is possible. With this book, mothers-to-be will be equipped with the knowledge they need to ensure a satisfying hospital birth that they will look back on with peace and joy.

The Nearest Exit May Be Behind You


S. Bear Bergman - 2009
    Bear Bergman that is irrevocably honest and endlessly illuminating. With humor and grace, these essays deal with issues from women's spaces to the old boys' network, from gay male bathhouses to lesbian potlucks, from being a child to preparing to have one. Throughout, S. Bear Bergman shows us there are things you learn when you're visibly different from those around you—whether it's being transgressively gendered or readably queer. As a transmasculine person, Bergman keeps readers breathless and rapt in the freakshow tent long after the midway has gone dark, when the good hooch gets passed around and the best stories get told. Ze offers unique perspectives on issues that challenge, complicate, and confound the "official stories" about how gender and sexuality work.