Reveals the four humor personalities...and which category you fit in. Helps readers realize that God gave us a funny bone...we just need to find out how to use it.

    Stokes Company, February 24, 1938.

    8 pages of illustrations.

    Then again, maybe not. But to The Useless Information Society, any fact that passes its gasp-inducing, not-a-lot-of-people-know-that test merits inclusion in this fascinating but ultimately useless book... Did you know (or do you care)...- That fish scales are used to make lipstick?- Why organized crime accounts for ten percent of the United States's annual income?- The name of the first CD pressed in the United States?- The last year that can be written upside-down or right side-up and appear the same?- The shortest performance ever nominated for an Oscar(R)?- How much Elvis weighed at the time of his death?- What the suits in a deck of cards represent?- How many Quarter Pounders can be made from one cow?- How interesting useless information can be?The Book of Useless Information answers these teasers and is packed with facts and figures that will captivate you--and anyone who shares your joy in the pursuit of pointless knowledge.

    Captained by hirsute woodworker, actor, comedian, and writer Nick Offerman, the shop produces not only fine handcrafted furniture, but also fun stuff—kazoos, baseball bats, ukuleles, even mustache combs.Now Nick and his ragtag crew of champions want to share their experiences of working at the Woodshop, tell you all about their passion for the discipline of woodworking, and teach you how to make a handful of their most popular projects along the way. This book will take readers behind the scenes of the woodshop, both inspiring and teaching them to make their own projects and besotting them with the infectious spirit behind the shop and its complement of dusty wood-elves.In these pages you will find a variety of projects for every skill level, with personal, accessible instructions by the OWS woodworkers themselves; and, what’s more, this tutelage will be augmented by mouth-watering color photos (Nick calls it "wood porn"). You will also find writings by Nick, offering recipes for both comestibles and mirth, humorous essays, odes to his own woodworking heroes, insights into the ethos of woodworking in modern America, and other assorted tomfoolery.Whether you’ve been working in your own shop for years, or if holding this stack of compressed wood pulp is as close as you’ve ever come to milling lumber, or even if you just love Nick Offerman’s brand of bucolic yet worldly wisdom, you’ll find Good Clean Fun full of useful, illuminating, and entertaining information.

    Some of the facts are funny. Some are surprising. And some are just plain weird. But all of them are true—and irresistibly fascinating!You'll find information on virtually every subject under the sun, including: Philosophy: On February 8, 2000, the meaning of life was auctioned on eBay. The winning bid was $3.26. Popular Culture: Charlie Chaplin once lost a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest. Science: Dolly the sheep—the first cloned mammal—was named after country singer Dolly Parton. Sex: The largest human cell is the female ovum. The smallest is the male sperm. Sports: The average lifespan of an NHL hockey puck is 7 minutes. Statistics: On average, women utter 7,000 words a day while men manage just over 2,000.

    That's why a guide to the world of uglies has been requisitioned from the hole in the wall. Inside you'll find: A rundown on all the cliques, from Crims and Cutters to tech-heads and surge-monkeys The complete history, starting with the destruction of the oil bug to the launch of Extras in space How all those awesome gadgets came to be: hoverboards, eyescreens, skintennas, sneak suits... PLUS an exclusive look at Scott Westerfeld's first draft of Extras -- starring Hiro, not Aya. And so much more, it's mind-wrecking.

    Close your curtains Throw away your summery linens Forget about those white eyelet pillow covers And for Goth's sake, buy some black lights Voltaire is here to help you with your home decorating dilemmas, guide you through the hardware stores and decorating centers (which are so difficult for Goths to navigate), and lay it all out on the line about which shade of black goes with which shade of black. Who knows? One day soon he might have his own decorating line at a discount store. In this world of pastels and plaids, it's so hard for Goths to find anything aesthetically appealing. You go in search of Edward Gorey and wind up with an eyeful of Eddie Bauer. With Voltaire's Paint It Black you can turn the unbearably mundane into the delightfully macabre with little more than a touch of creativity and a can of black spray paint.

    TRULY TASTELESS JOKES took America by storm and made it laugh at itself. It's all in here, disgusting, repulsive, cruel, and just plain tasteless jokes and stories that will make you smile, laugh, or groan--and love every minute of it.

    

    A collection of humorous rants on a wide range of subjects written from a misanthrope's sarcastic viewpoint.

    Eliot for his godchildren and friends in the thirties. They have delighted generations of children since, and inspired Andrew Lloyd Webber's brilliant musical Cats.

    But leave the mimes outside in the cold where they belong."Praise for Jeremy C. Shipp:"I'm convinced Jeremy Shipp is a little bit crazy, in the best possible way."--Jeff VanderMeer, author of City of Saints & Madmen"Jeremy Shipp is a very good drug."--John Skipp, author of The Emerald Burrito of Oz"Two thumbs up!"--Midwest Book Review

    The SImple Truth About Love matches his highly inspirational thoughts with his trademark adorable and irresistible wildlife images for a heartwarming book that readers will fall for.  What more can you possibly say about love? Leave it to Bradley Trevor Greive to cut through centuries of words that examine this universal emotion to present both the sum and substance of love in a way that will touch readers' hearts. As he's done in numerous other titles—from The Blue Day Book to Dear Dad—Bradley combines his uncomplicated wording and unique viewpoint in a way that appeals to readers everywhere.The Simple Truth About Love explores this driving sentiment throughout its many nuances, while recognizing the elements that make it such an incredibly wonderful part of our lives. Helping along the way, of course, are the individually selected animal photographs that perfectly convey the ideas that Bradley presents. From the chick sheltered beneath his mother's wing to the cubs locked in joyous embrace, the images make this book a delight on it's own.

    Here is Erma's first column, "Children Cornering the Coin Market," which ran in January 1965, as well as her last one, "Let's Face It," from April 1996. I88 other columns are also collected here, on her favorite subjects, organized by topic.