Or sunflowers. (Though it does wax lyrical about some stunning Alpine scenery . . . and, with the race starting in Yorkshire, even some stunning scenery not far from Bradford).From Leeds to Paris (how often do you say that?), Ned details the minutiae of his encounters with the likes of Vincenzo Nibali, David Millar, Chris Froome, Chris Boardman (or ‘Broadman’ as some would have it), Marcel Kittel, Mrs Cavendish (Mark’s wife), Peter Sagan and the rest. Their endeavours, achievements, humour and occasional rancour, sit alongside his own decade-long quest for the ideal end-of-race T-shirt.Ned weaves together the interesting, amusing and unheralded threads of the race itself, and reflects on his own perennial struggle to get round, get on and get by. 101 Damnations encapsulates all that is incredible – and incredibly ordinary – about the greatest race on earth.

    With these characters William will make us laugh and cry. And never again will we think that someone is just a regular bloke - everyone can be a king or a queen in their own suburb.

    J.K. Rowling, Hugh Jackman, Kathleen Turner, Stan Lee, James Belushi, Moon Zappa, Seth Green, Piers Morgan, Jodi Picoult, Stephen King, Phil Ramone, Michael Winner, Alan Cumming, Jerry Springer, Armistead Maupin, E from The Eels, Ferran Adrià, Rose McGowan, James Woods or Gillian Anderson.It is the perfect gift for your mum or dad, sister or brother, gran or granddad, or someone who is a teenager, even turning 16.

    It is instant history with added jokes.Read about how John Major learned the English language from his time in Nigeria. There is Tony Blair, with his verb-free sentences which imply everything and promise nothing. Gordon Brown, the grumpiest prime minister of recent years, both Stalin and Mr Bean. And now David Cameron - who really, really hates being drawn with a condom on his head.Let's not forget John Prescott, who can wrestle the English language to the mat and win by two falls to a submission, Michael Fabricant with his hairpiece stolen from the tail of a My Little Pony, Sir Peter Tapsell, a grandee so grand that when he rises to speak, Hansard writers are replaced by a crack team of monks to write up his words in illuminated lettering. Nick Clegg, with his default expression of a man's whose chldren's puppy is still missing. And of course, the famous 2010 press conference in the garden of Downing Street, a love-in that would have been illegal in 44 American states.This book will have you laughing, chuckling, roaring, sniggering, and sometimes despairing.

     Best to know what you're stealing and who you're stealing from. When wannabe criminal Jonathan hears about a life-changing amount of unprotected cash just begging to be stolen, the opportunity is too good to pass up. Problem is he can’t do it alone, so he ropes in a couple of low rent potheads, kicking off a whole bunch of trouble. Can Nuke, a gangster with an explosive temper and marital difficulties, sort out the mess? All while balancing his psychotic bosses, some dodgy cops, his bored wife and of course Jonathan, the man with the plan? SCAM is an exciting romp full of dumb criminals, harebrained schemes, formidable femme fatales and even a sweet love story, all told with a distinctly Australian sensibility. You'll love this gritty crime thriller because the twists and turns will keep you guessing (and laughing) until the very last second. Get it today.

    Kevin Carver is a household name. A popular TV soap star, he’s coasting through life in the same semi-detached, slightly smug way he’s always done. But when he dumps his much-too-young-for-him girlfriend in the same callous way he’s come to treat those around him, he makes the first in a series of mistakes. One poor decision leads to another and, as Kevin wades deeper into a moral grey area, things go from bad to very much worse. The national treasure finds himself the subject of vitriolic press attacks, a police investigation, and so much public loathing he begins to wonder if he has any chance of receiving justice. As the line blurs between his own life and that of the character he plays on TV, Kevin must face the consequences of his actions if he is ever to right his sinking ship. The Star Witness is the story of one self-regarding man’s descent into disgrace and his journey back to join the human race. A pin-sharp satire on the shallows of modern media culture and the dysfunctional relationship we all have with the idea of ‘celebrity’, it will keep you laughing, cringing and guessing until the very last page.

    A hilarious and touching gift book anthology of poetry and prose on the subject of Christmas from the Yorkshire school inspector and bestselling author of the Dales series and Little Village School series.

    What could possibly go wrong? After saving the Arcadian Confederate from certain destruction, Kevin's consciousness is cast back to Earth. Victory is sweet, but life on Earth is boring. It doesn't take long for him to start missing his galaxy-trotting adventures. But you should be careful what you wish for: when a Kregan operative bent on revenge shows up to hunt Kevin down, everything starts to unravel. The galaxy's in grave danger, and it looks like Kevin's the only one who can save it. Not to worry! The Arcadians have sent their best engineer to help Kevin in his quest...who also happens to be a talking cat with a less than ideal attitude. If Kevin can't whip this motley crew into shape, the galaxy's doomed. Which means Earth is doomed...and as boring as it is, Kevin's starting to realize there's no place like home.

    Within hours Lang is butting heads with a Buddha statue, matching wits with evil billionaires, and putting his life (among other things) in the hands of a bevy of femmes fatales, whilst trying to save a beautiful lady ...and prevent an international bloodbath to boot.

    The day after the renowned festival's closing ceremony, Genevieve is invited to visit the newly-refurbished Hotel Paradise. Genevieve knows the hotel well – in fact, her past life there has haunted her for over a decade... Twelve years earlier, two travellers have met in Paris. Genevieve dreams of becoming a famous songwriter, while Paul is determined to be a professional photographer. Full of optimism, they hitch south to the Riviera where they answer an advertisement for live-in help at the Hotel Paradise, located on an island just off the French coast. There the young couple are seduced by the tranquility and magical beauty of the hotel and its setting. But the island has a darker side, with a history of bloodshed that fills Genevieve with foreboding. When a stranger arrives who threatens her future with Paul, Genevieve senses that events are about to spin out of control … Anglo-Irish actress Carol Drinkwater is still well-known for her award-winning portrayal of Helen Herriot in the BBC series All Creatures Great and Small. A popular and acclaimed author and film-maker as well, Carol has published twenty books for both the adult and young adult markets. She is currently at work on her twenty-first title. When she purchased a rundown property overlooking the Bay of Cannes in France, she discovered almost seventy 400-year-old olive trees. Along with her French husband, Michel, Carol reclaimed the land and began producing top-quality olive oil. Her series of memoirs recounting their experiences on the farm (The Olive Farm, The Olive Season, The Olive Harvest and Return to the Olive Farm) have become international bestsellers, and the related travel books,The Olive Route and The Olive Tree, inspired the five-part documentary film series, The Olive Route. Carol's first Kindle Single, The Girl in Room Fourteen, reached the number one position in the Singles charts in both the United States and the UK.

    Handed a sacred scroll from Atlantis by a dying Tibetan monk, Marcus, Joanna and Helen are propelled into adventure as they race to get it translated and follow its instructions.

    Following the birth of the couple’s second child, this recollection details how the husband lost his eyebrows, the circus equipment multiplied, and the futon went moldy. In spite of these drawbacks, this humorous narrative highlights the new memories that this family created in their ramshackle house at number 26, including their kids wearing raincoats when the roof leaked, developing a menu consisting entirely of adzuki beans to combat eczema, and building a cubby house from the dismantled play equipment at the local park. Part autobiography, part stand-up comedy, and completely beguiling, this chronicle combines warmth and good old-fashioned ingenuity to show what it takes to hold it all together while maintaining the love in a marriage, looking after an aging parent, and bringing up kids who will get off the couch.

    Instead, the wizard transforms them into various accursed forms and locks them away in his castle. His halls are filled with his collection of fallen heroes and defeated villains.It’s Nessy’s duty to tend this castle. It’s a lot of work, but she takes pride in housekeeping talents that keep the castle from collapsing into chaos. But when Margle suddenly dies, everything begins to unravel. Nessy finds herself surrounded by monsters, curses, a door that should never be opened, and one very deadly dark wizardess.Nessy doesn’t have might or magic on her side; she’s just a kobold: short, furry, and sensible. It would be smarter to walk away, but taking care of the castle is Nessy’s job, and that’s just what she intends to do.If only she could find time to polish the silver while beating back the forces of darkness.

    He died in the United States in 1943, but what was he doing in Australia in 1925? A Newcastle electrician and his girlfriend try to find out, but it seems more than one person wants to stop them, including the CIA.

    But now they're on the verge of divorce and going to couples' counseling. On a routine trip to their counselor, they notice a few odd things -- the lack of cars on the highway, the missing security guard, and the fact that their counselor, Dr. Kelly, is ripping out her previous client's throat.Meet the Zombies.Now, Sarah and David are fighting for survival in the middle of the zombie apocalypse. But, just because there are zombies, doesn't mean your other problems go away. If the zombies don't eat their brains, they might just kill each other.