Damn, now I sound stupid, too." -Bomani Jones, ESPN "It's great, and I have no idea what just happened, but Jerry Jones dick exploded and that's enough for me." -Spencer Hall, SB Nation "The only parody Twitter account worth following" -Deadspin.com "This is the least influential book of anything I've ever read. I hated it." -Adolf Hitler In what is being hailed by many, probably, as the best, funniest, most gut-shittingly poignant literary work since The New Testament, PFT Commenter takes you on a realistic-fiction journey through the backdoor politics of today's NFL. Set in the 2014 offseason, Roger Goodell and President Barack Obama become locked in a mano a mano battle over the future of the Dallas Cowboys, culminating in a literal fight to the death. Starring NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, Barack Obama, Mike Ditka, Joe Biden, Michael Vick, Peter King, Ron Jaworski, Dan Snyder, Robert Griffin III, Danny Woodhead, J.J. Watt, Jerry Jones, Russell Wilson, Pete Carroll, and many more of your favorite NFL stars and media personalities; "Goodell vs. Obama: The Battle for the Future of the NFL" will take you on a journey that any NFL fan is sure to love, or at least not hate. WARNING: Told through the narrative eye and screaming mouth of an uneducated internet commenter, this book is filled with grammatical errors. It was written by a someone who was raised on scorching hot sports takes, light beer, and an undying love for Roger Goodell. He cares about TELLING, not about spelling. If that's going to be a problem,, there's the door.

    until he gets a call from his missing sister! It takes him on a journey where he meets a young hooker, hillbillies, truckers, and a crazy church. He also meets someone he never knew: himself.

    Contains A Promise for Ellie, Sophie's Dilemma, A Touch of Grace, and Rebecca's Reward.

    Over thirty years ago a series of murders targeting Oregon librarians was never solved. Now someone with inside knowledge is feeding clues to true crime writer Dougal Lachlan, promising him the best story of his career. Pursuing the story means returning to Twisted Cedars, where his sister Jamie, is about to marry a man he deeply dislikes. Local Twisted Cedars librarian Charlotte Hammond prefers her mysteries—and her romances—between the covers of a good book, especially since the disappearance of her older sister, Daisy, eight years ago. But then the dark and tortured soul who is Dougal Lachlan walks into the Twisted Cedars Library asking for her help. Before long Charlotte realizes there is no safe zone. Not even in libraries. And especially not in Twisted Cedars. Forgotten (Book 2) After a shocking secret is uncovered in Twisted Cedars, Oregon, fresh trouble surfaces. Sheriff Wade MacKay is fishing on the Rogue River when he comes across a cargo truck crashed off the side of a winding mountain road. The driver is dead. The sole passenger, a woman in her early thirties, is unconscious with a severe head injury. When she comes to the next day at the hospital, she is suffering from amnesia. Since she carried no ID, there is no clue to her identity. Judging by the woman’s bruises, which pre-date the accident, Wade suspects she was running from danger when she hitched a ride with the truck driver. But how can he protect her, when he doesn’t even know who she is? Wade’s office is already working overtime, investigating the death of one of his former school friends. While true crime writer, Dougal Lachlan, is avoiding writing a book that would force him to confront his inner demons. Exposed (Book 3) No more hiding. When a young boy goes missing shortly after his father’s arrest for the murder of the boy’s mother, the residents of Twisted Cedars are in a panic. They would be even more fearful if they knew a serial murderer has secretly moved back to town. Local Sheriff Wade MacKay, and true crime writer Dougal Lachlan, finally realize that unless they pool their resources and work together, no one in town is going to be safe.

    Whoever can harness the power of the prophecy will rule the land for generations. But no one knows where the power lies or who will reach it first.Amidst the waves of change, Wes just wants to pass his village’s trial and ascend to adulthood. He isn’t special, and he certainly has no magical abilities—or so he thought. What should have been a straightforward climb to the top of a mountain turns out to be something altogether different when Wes reaches the top.With life and death hanging in the balance, Wes isn't sure who he can trust.And nothing is ever as black and white as it seems.

    As a postgraduate she moved to London and worked as a researcher at Amnesty International among other jobs. She started writing the Harry Potter series during a delayed Manchester to London King’s Cross train journey, and during the next five years, outlined the plots for each book and began writing the first novel.Jo then moved to northern Portugal, where she taught English as a foreign language. She married in October 1992 and gave birth to a daughter in 1993. When the marriage ended, she and Jessica returned to the UK to live in Edinburgh, where Harry Potter & the Philosopher’s Stone was eventually completed. The book was first published by Bloomsbury Children’s Books in June 1997, under the name J K Rowling. The “K”, for Kathleen, her paternal grandmother’s name was added at her publisher’s request who thought that a woman’s name would not appeal to the target audience of young boys.The second title in the series, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, was published in July 1998 and was No. 1 in the adult hardback bestseller charts for a month after publication. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban was published on 8th July 1999 to worldwide acclaim and spent four weeks at No.1 in the UK adult hardback bestseller charts. The fourth book in the series, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire was published on 8th July 2000 with a record first print run of 1 million copies for the UK. It quickly broke all records for the greatest number of books sold on the first day of publication in the UK. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, was published in Britain, the USA, Canada and Australia on 21st June 2003 and broke the records set by Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire as the fastest selling book in history. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, was published in the UK, US and other English-speaking countries on 16th July 2005 and also achieved record sales.The seventh and final book in the series, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, was published in the UK, US and other English speaking countries in 2007. J K Rowling has also written two small volumes, which appear as the titles of Harry’s school books within the novels. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them and Quidditch Through The Ages were published in March 2001 in aid of Comic Relief. In December 2008, The Tales of Beedle the Bard was published in aid of the Children’s High Level Group (now Lumos).As well as an OBE for services to children’s literature, J.K. Rowling is the recipient of numerous awards and honorary degrees including the Prince of Asturias Award for Concord, France’s Légion d’Honneur, and the Hans Christian Andersen Award, and she has been a Commencement Speaker at Harvard University USA. She supports a wide number of charitable causes through her charitable trust Volant, and is the founder of Lumos, a charity working to transform the lives of disadvantaged children.J.K. Rowling lives in Edinburgh with her husband and three children.

    But what she can’t run from is her present reality as an alcoholic on the downward spiral, and the strong future possibility that she might die in the gutter. So, she quits drinking and resolves to live a new life, determined to be a better person and resist the siren song of addiction, staying a few steps ahead of her demons all the while. But then Leah takes a job at a P.I. Firm and her resolve is thoroughly tested. Instead of alcohol, she becomes addicted to work and the nonstop demands of the agency. In a desperate attempt to break the cycle, she answers a mysterious online ad calling for writers and ends up working as an assistant to serial entrepreneur Scarlet Monroe, a woman who seems almost too good to be true, and like everything Leah has always wanted to be. But when Leah is hired as Scarlet’s personal assistant and gets in deeper with Scarlet and her cult-like company, the demons from her past come alive again, and this time they refuse to go away. The sequel to Between the Shadow and Lo and the second installment in the West Coast Trilogy, West Is San Francisco is a surreal ride through the strange secrets—and intangible magic—of San Francisco.

    Tour.

    One spring night, while at home on a break from college, the threesome embarks on a night of adventure and experimentation, driving recklessly through the Connecticut Valley. Stopping at the French King Bridge, David -- full of hubris and hallucinogens -- dares to jump, mistakenly believing he'll be able to swim ashore. With this one act, he sets in motion an inexorable chain of events that indelibly alters the lives of everyone involved.Told through the alternating voices of Kay, Michael, and David's father, Kevin, The River Road is a closely observed and psychologically penetrating narrative of the accusations, murder investigation, and courtroom battle that follow.

    Coming from a sheltered life of wealth, Lynnae doesn't have what it takes to make it a world that her father fought so hard to keep her away from. While living with strangers and learning about family secrets that were supposed to have been dead and buried, Lynnae meets Trent.While he is the definition of the kind of man that her parents never wanted her to be with, Trent is everything that Lynnae wants. He came into her life when she needed someone and he quickly became her knight in shining armor. Trent reintroduces Lynnae to the life that she was once accustomed to and she easily falls in love with him. Becoming a hustler's wifey was never the life Lynnae envisioned for herself and she soon learns that it's not always easy.Dealing with Trent's drug dealing and alleged side chicks is one thing, but staying by his side when he reveals a secret that he'd been keeping from her from day one, might prove to be too much for Lynnae.Falling in love with Trent was easy. Remaining in love with him after finding out who he really is, now that's another story.

    She goes beyond the call of duty with the most exotic sexual encounters along with a spiral emotional setting. This is one side chick you don’t want to cross, because she will do everything in her power to be number one. See how a side chick can go from number two to number one in this roller coaster book.

    25,000 first printing. $25,000 ad/promo.

    Eighteen-year-old twins Marie and Vesta Haskins work at the local shoe factory to bring in a few pennies for the family, but they've never given up on their dream of treading the boards in the West End. When a brand new East End club opens its doors, the girls audition for the show and are over the moon to land two nights a week with their cabaret act. But little do they realise that the villainous Scoresby brothers are using the club as a front for a very different line of business.Seeing what is going on behind the smoke and lights of the stage, sensible Marie vows to leave her job at the club before it is too late, but headstrong Vesta has fallen for the Scoresby's handsome right-hand man, Teddy, and unwittingly leads her whole family into the Scoresby's clutches. Will Marie be able to save her family from disaster? Or will Vesta's determination to become a star tear the Haskins family apart?

    

     A bright, young Texas lawyer determined to make it on his own leaves the DA's Office to pursue a career as a criminal defense attorney. Just months later, he finds himself at the center of an international Ecstasy drug trafficking ring. As a charismatic negotiator, Lawyer X ignores danger and resurrects a deal gone bad. Caught red-handed in Paris, France, he lands in prison indefinitely. Isolated from his culture and marked as l'Américain, he is focused on staying alive at a time when Anglo – Franco relations are at an all time low. Facing years in French prison and multiple life terms in the United States, Lawyer X must protect his best friend’s innocence and salvage his own dignity. His mentor, a legendary Dallas attorney, fights to keep him from becoming a casualty in the War on Drugs. A TRUE STORY Hardcover available in 2016