Then he does.

    It didn't give you the date and it didn't give you specifics. It just spat out a sliver of paper upon which were printed, in careful block letters, the words DROWNED or CANCER or OLD AGE or CHOKED ON A HANDFUL OF POPCORN. It let people know how they were going to die." Machine of Death tells thirty-four different stories about people who know how they will die. Prepare to have your tears jerked, your spine tingled, your funny bone tickled, your mind blown, your pulse quickened, or your heart warmed. Or better yet, simply prepare to be surprised. Because even when people do have perfect knowledge of the future, there's no telling exactly how things will turn out. Featuring stories by: * Randall Munroe* Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw* Tom Francis* Camille Alexa* Erin McKean* James L. Sutter* Douglas J. Lane* and many others.Featuring illustrations by: * Kate Beaton* Kazu Kibuishi* Aaron Diaz* Jeffrey Brown* Scott C.* Roger Langridge* Karl Kerschl* Cameron Stewart* and many others

    Craig Russell, Jill Carla Schwarz, Michael Zulli, and Rrandy Broecker.

    From video game characters seeking civil rights and a cave dragon loan shark pondering an investment, to Santa Claus's Australian vacation and an enemy of Sam Spade's out for revenge, plus visits to the Nightside and Sookie Stackhouse's hometown, these stories will take readers around the world on a magical mystery tour."Lucky" by Charlaine Harris -- a Sookie Stackhouse short"Bogieman" by Carole Nelson Douglas"Looks are Deceiving" by Micheal A. Stackpole"the House of Seven Spirits" by Sharon Shinn"Glamour" by Mike Doogan"Spellbound" by Donna Andrews"the Duh Vice" by Michael Armstrong"Weight of the World" by John Straley"Illumination" by Laura Anne Gilman"the House" by Laurie R. King"Appetite for Murder" by Simon R. Green -- a Nightside short"A Woman's Work" by Dana Stabenow

    It is a place of contradictions—the bright lights mask the peeling paint; a carnie in greasy overalls slinks away from the direction of the Barker’s seductive call. It is a place of illusion—is that woman’s beard real? How can she live locked in that watery box?And while many are tricked by sleight of hand, there are hints of something truly magical going on. One must remain alert and learn quickly the unwritten rules of this dark show. To beat the carnival, one had better have either a whole lot of luck or a whole lot of guns—or maybe some magic of one’s own.Featuring stories grotesque and comical, outrageous and action-packed, Carniepunk is the first anthology to channel the energy and attitude of urban fantasy into the bizarre world of creaking machinery, twisted myths, and vivid new magic.RACHEL CAINE’s vampires aren’t child’s play, as a naïve teen discovers when her heart leads her far, far astray in “The Cold Girl.” With “Parlor Tricks,” JENNIFER ESTEP pits Gin Blanco, the Elemental Assassin, against the Wheel of Death and some dangerously creepy clowns. SEANAN McGUIRE narrates a poignant, ethereal tale of a mysterious carnival that returns to a dangerous town after twenty years in “Daughter of the Midway, the Mermaid, and the Open, Lonely Sea.” KEVIN HEARNE’s Iron Druid and his wisecracking Irish wolfhound discover in “The Demon Barker of Wheat Street” that the impossibly wholesome sounding Kansas Wheat Festival is actually not a healthy place to hang out. With an eerie, unpredictable twist, ROB THURMAN reveals the fate of a psychopath stalking two young carnies in “Painted Love.”

    * The Rizzoli Bag -- A sad young man in a Roman cafe is offered a once-in-a-lifetime bargain... * Out of the Frying Pan -- The life of a part-time witch working in a shopping mall is turned upside down in a day... * The Queen and the Thief and the Dragon -- A (fairy) tale of the True West, and a young monarch's solution to a thorny diplomatic problem... * Bears -- An ancient sorrow (with a modern twist) wanders through the tumult of a pre-Lenten street carnival... * The Fix -- In the dark guts of Rome's Colosseum, a slave boy with an impossible dream becomes entangled in the machinations of immortals... * Herself -- In the heart of Dublin, something is killing the People of the Hills -- and it's going to take Ireland's only superhero to stop it... * Hopper Painting -- Desolation and redemption in a midnight diner... * The Back Door -- Two terrorists meet in Zurich to carry out a very unusual heist with a confederate who's more dangerous than they imagine......And of course, the title story, beloved and sought after for a quarter century by Young Wizards fans, and finally available in an ebook -- along with the only other Young Wizards short story, Theobroma.

    Hamilton and author William McCaskey. In this anthology, science fiction and fantasy authors have woven together brand-new stories that speak to the darkness and despair that life brings while reminding us that good deeds, humour, love, sacrifice, dedication and following our joy can ignite a light that burns so bright the darkness cannot last: A child’s wish for her father comes true. The end of the world has never been so much fun. Conquering personal demons becomes all too real. It’s not always about winning; sometimes it’s about showing up for the fight. It’s about loving your life’s work, and jobs that make you question everything.Contents: Foreword Twilight Falls [Joe Ledger • 10.1] / Jonathan Maberry Not in this Lifetime / Sharon Shinn Mr. Positive, the Eternal Optimist / Larry Correia No Greater Love / Kacey Ezell Broken Son / Griffin Barber Heart of Clay [Dan Shamble, Zombie PI • 6.5??] / Kevin J. Anderson Reprise [Quincy Harker, Demon Hunter • ??] / John G. Hartness Asil and the Not-date [Mercy Thompson • 17.5 / Alpha & Omega • 5.5] / Patricia Briggs In the Dust / Robert E. Hampson Fallen / L. E. Modesitt, Jr. Working Conditions / Patrick M. Tracy Last Contact / M. C. Sumner Ronin / William McCaskey Skjoldmodir / Michael Z. Williamson and Jessica Schlenker Bonds of Love and Duty / Monalisa Foster Zombie Dearest [Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter • 26.5] / Laurell K. Hamilton About the authors About the editors.

    Banks, Kelley Armstrong, and many more! Horror fiction explores the dark side of human nature, often pushing the limits of violence, graphic gore, and extreme emotions. But with the popularity of shows and movies, such as "The Walking Dead," "True Blood," "Twilight," "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," audiences have demonstrated their love for the genre--especially accompanied with a dose of humor to tone down the terror."Blood Lite III: Aftertaste" continues to put the fun back into dark fiction, featuring a wide range of humorous and highly entertaining horror-filled tales. Edited by Horror Writers Association founding member and award-winning author Kevin J. Anderson, the stories vary in tone from wry to downright laugh-out-loud funny. Featuring such well-known horror writers as Jim Butcher, Sherrilyn Kenyon, Christopher Golden, and many others, this collection of tales is perfect for anyone who enjoys being entertained as much as they love a good scare.Contents:I was a teenage Bigfoot / Jim Butcher --Blood-red greens / Joel A. Sutherland --V plates / Kelley Armstong --Put on a happy face / Christopher Golden --Devil's contract / E.S. Magill --Nine-tenths of the law / Eric James Stone --Scrumptious bone bread / Jeff Strand --Let that be a lesson to you / Mark Onspaugh --Mint in box / Mike Baron --Great zombie invasion of 1979 / J.G. Faherty --Dating after the apocalypse / Stephen Dorato --Typecast / Jeff Ryan --Making the cut / Mike Resnick, Lezli Robyn --Acknowledgments / Will Ludwigsen --Mannequin / Heather Graham --Short term / Daniel Pyle --Distressed travelers / Nina Kiriki Hoffman --Bayou brawl / L.A. Banks --Steeple people / John Alfred Taylor --For sale / David Sakmyster --Man who could not be bothered to die / Norman Prentiss --Last demon / Don D'Ammassa --Misadventure to call your own / Adrian Ludens --Smoke and mirrorballs / Chris Abbey --Brians!!! / D.L. Snell --Still life / Ken Lilli-Paetz --Day in the life / Sherrilyn

    “Signatures of the Dead” tells the story of the vampire massacre that made Jane Yellowrock a household name.And in “Cajun with Fangs,” Jane makes a new friend who turns out to have old enemies, and finds herself drawn into a vicious blood feud, fueled by dark magic and ancient grudges.

    Anderson, and Rob Thurman—nothing is as simple as black and white, light and dark, good and evil..Unfortunately, that’s exactly what makes it so easy to cross the line.In #1 New York Times bestselling author Jim Butcher’s Cold Case, Molly Carpenter—Harry Dresden’s apprentice-turned-Winter Lady—must collect a tribute from a remote Fae colony and discovers that even if you’re a good girl, sometimes you have to be bad...New York Times bestselling author Seanan McGuire’s Sleepover finds half-succubus Elsie Harrington kidnapped by a group of desperate teenage boys. Not for anything “weird.” They just need her to rescue a little girl from the boogeyman. No biggie.In New York Times bestselling Kevin J. Anderson’s Eye of Newt, Zombie P.I. Dan Shamble’s latest client is a panicky lizard missing an eye who thinks someone wants him dead. But the truth is that someone only wants him for a very special dinner...And New York Times bestselling author Rob Thurman’s infernally heroic Caliban Leandros takes a trip down memory lane as he deals wih some overdue—and nightmarish—vengeance involving some quite nasty Impossible Monsters .ALSO INCLUDES STORIES BYTanya Huff * Kat Richardson * Jim C. Hines * Anton Strout * Lucy A. Snyder * Kristine Kathryn Rusch * Erik Scott de Bie *From the Trade Paperback edition.

    Your hosts are the Hugo Award-winning editors John Klima (Electric Velocipede) and Lynne M. Thomas (Apex Magazine), and the Hugo-nominated editor Michael Damian Thomas (Apex Magazine).Join glittery authors Christopher Barzak (One for Sorrow) and Daryl Gregory (Pandemonium) on the dance floor, drink cocktails with Maria Dahvana Headley (Queen of Kings: A Novel of Cleopatra, the Vampire) and Tim Pratt (Marla Mason series), and skate with Seanan McGuire (InCryptid series), Diana Rowland (Kara Gillian series), and Maurice Broaddus (The Knights of Breton Court series). The fantastic Amber Benson gets the party started with her floor-rattling introduction (Calliope Reaper-Jones series).We’re waiting.Table of ContentsIntroduction by Amber BensonSister Twelve: Confessions of a Party Monster by Christopher BarzakApex Jump by David J. SchwartzWith Her Hundred Miles to Hell by Kat HowardStar Dancer by Jennifer PellandOf Selkies, Disco Balls, and Anna Plane by Cat RamboSooner Than Gold by Cory SkerrySubterraneans by William Shunn & Laura ChavoenThe Minotaur Girls by Tansy Rayner RobertsUnable to Reach You by Alan DeNiroSuch & Such Said to So & So by Maria Dahvana HeadleyRevels in the Land of Ice by Tim PrattBess, the Landlord’s Daughter, Goes for Drinks with the Green Girl by Sofia SamatarBlood and Sequins by Diana RowlandTwo-Minute Warning by Vylar KaftanInside Hides the Monster by Damien Walters GrintalisBad Dream Girl by Seanan McGuireA Hollow Play by Amal El-MohtarJust Another Future Song by Daryl GregoryThe Electric Spanking of the War Babies by Maurice Broaddus & Kyle S. JohnsonAll That Fairy Tale Crap by Rachel Swirsky

    Readers only familiar with such masterpieces as The Dragonbone Chair and Talchaser’s Song will be delighted to discover that in his short fiction, Williams has been able to explore myriad new possibilities and adventures.Previously collected in multiauthor anthologies and limited hardcover editions, these superlative talks of dragons, super-soldiers, wizards, cyberpunks, heroes, and fools are now available together for the first time in an affordable trade paperback edition. These stories showcase the exhilarating breadth of Williams’ imagination, in stories hearkening to the tales of such classic fantasists as J. R. R. Tolkien, Robert Jordan, Ray Bradbury, and Peter S. Beagle. Included is an original tale written specifically for this volume.The Very Best of Tad Williams is a true delight to those who have imagined themselves in fantastic worlds beyond the everyday and mundane.TABLE OF CONTENTSThe Old Scale GameThe Storm DoorThe Stranger’s HandsChild of an AncientCityThe Boy Detective of Oz: An Otherland StoryThree Duets for Virgin and NosehornDiary of a DragonNot with a Whimper, EitherSome Thoughts Re: Dark DestroyerZ is for...Monsieur Vergalant’s CanardThe Stuff that Dreams are Made OfFish Between FriendsEvery Fuzzy Beast of the Earth, Every Pink Fowl of the AirA Stark and Wormy KnightBlack SunshineAnd Ministers of Grace

    #1 New York Times bestselling author Charlaine Harris edits and contributes an all-new story-set in her Sookie Stackhouse universe-to this anthology from the Mystery Writers of America. Other authors include: Steve Brewer Dana Cameron Max Allan Collins and Mickey Spillane Barbara D'Amato Brendan DuBois Terrie Farley Moran Jack Fredrickson Parnell Hall Carolyn Hart S. W. Hubbard Toni L. P. Kelner Lou Kemp William Kent Kreuger Harley Jane Kozak Margaret Mahon Martin Meyers Jeffrey Somers Elaine Viets Mike Wiecek

    She has been dubbed “one of our most important writers,” (Junot Diaz), with “an imagination that most of us would kill for” (Los Angeles Times), and her work has been called “stunning,” (New York Times) “rich in voice, humor, and dazzling imagery” (Kirkus), and “simply triumphant” (Dorothy Allison).Falling in Love with Hominids presents over a dozen years of Hopkinson’s new, uncollected fiction, much of which has been unavailable in print. Her singular, vivid tales, which mix the modern with Afro-Caribbean folklore, are occupied by creatures unpredictable and strange: chickens that breathe fire, adults who eat children, and spirits that haunt shopping malls.

    Half of the stories portray the strengths--for good and evil--of unicorns and half show the good (and really, really bad-ass) side of zombies. Contributors include many bestselling teen authors, including Cassandra Clare, Libba Bray, Maureen Johnson, Meg Cabot, Scott Westerfeld, and Margo Lanagan. This anthology will have everyone asking: Team Zombie or Team Unicorn?