In this important book, Jesper Juul argues that today's families are at an exciting crossroads. The destructive values that governed traditional hierarchical, authoritarian families are being transformed. Instead we can choose to embrace a new set of values based on the assumption that families must be built not on authoritarian force or democratic tyranny but on dignity and reciprocity between parent and child. Children are emotionally competent -- that is, they always tell the truth about how they are feeling. Parents must begin to listen to and learn from the honest feedback they receive from their children. When we feel unhappy or dissatisfied with a situation in the family, it is almost always because we were unable to convert our loving feelings into loving behavior. To do so, we need to become fluent in what Juul calls personal language -- a language less concerned with shoulds than with our own emotional honesty. Using examples from families in many different countries, Juul has written a book that challenges parents to see the years with their children as an exciting time of growth and development for the whole family.

    Homesick—why? She was standing right in her own kitchen. She felt homesick, she realized, with love for home itself. “Of all the elements of a happy life,” she thought, “my home is the most important.” In a flash, she decided to undertake a new happiness project, and this time, to focus on home.And what did she want from her home? A place that calmed her, and energized her. A place that, by making her feel safe, would free her to take risks. Also, while Rubin wanted to be happier at home, she wanted to appreciate how much happiness was there already. So, starting in September (the new January), Rubin dedicated a school year—September through May—to making her home a place of greater simplicity, comfort, and love.  In The Happiness Project, she worked out general theories of happiness. Here she goes deeper on factors that matter for home, such as possessions, marriage, time, and parenthood. How can she control the cubicle in her pocket? How might she spotlight her family’s treasured possessions? And it really was time to replace that dud toaster. Each month, Rubin tackles a different theme as she experiments with concrete, manageable resolutions—and this time, she coaxes her family to try some resolutions, as well.  With her signature blend of memoir, science, philosophy, and experimentation, Rubin’s passion for her subject jumps off the page, and reading just a few chapters of this book will inspire readers to find more happiness in their own lives.

    About the Author:Naomi Aldort is a parenting and family counselor, writer and public speaker with clients on three continents. Her advice columns appear in parenting magazines around the world.