Rethinking Incarceration: Advocating for Justice That Restores


Dominique DuBois Gilliard - 2018
    Mass incarceration has become a lucrative industry, and the criminal justice system is plagued with bias and unjust practices. And the church has unwittingly contributed to the problem. Dominique Gilliard explores the history and foundation of mass incarceration, examining Christianity's role in its evolution and expansion. He then shows how Christians can pursue justice that restores and reconciles, offering creative solutions and highlighting innovative interventions. The church has the power to help transform our criminal justice system. Discover how you can participate in the restorative justice needed to bring authentic rehabilitation, lasting transformation, and healthy reintegration to this broken system.

The Courage to Be


Paul Tillich - 1952
    This edition includes a new introduction reflecting on the impact of the book since it was written.

Dream Big: Know What You Want, Why You Want It, and What You’re Going to Do About It


Bob Goff - 2020
    He wants them to dream big.In his revelatory yet utterly practical new book, Bob takes you on a life-proven journey to rediscover your dreams and turn them into reality. Based on his enormously popular Dream Big workshop, Bob draws on a lifetime of living and dreaming large to help you reach your larger-than-life dreams. In Dream Big he shows how to• learn to define clearly your dreams for yourself,• identify the obstacles holding you back,• come up with a specific plan for reaching goals, and• develop the tools that will help you act on the plan.Dream Big is the only book you need to uncover the wild and exciting dream for your life you’ve hidden from yourself--and help you take the steps necessary to achieve it.

The Happiness Dare: Pursuing Your Heart's Deepest, Holiest, and Most Vulnerable Desire


Jennifer Dukes Lee - 2016
    And Jennifer Dukes Lee was no different. For years, she wrestled with a constant nagging sense that she wasn't as happy as she could be. At the same time, she felt guilty for wanting something so "shallow." After all, doesn't God only care that we find joy in our circumstances? Or is it possible that God really does want us to be happy?Determined to get answers, Jennifer embarked on a quest to find out whether our happiness matters to God and, if so, how to pursue it in a way that pleases him.In The Happiness Dare, you'll learn what she discovered, including how to:Understand the five happiness styles and maximize yoursOvercome the four biggest obstacles that stand in the way of your happinessFind your happiness sweet spot--the place, relationship, or activity that gives you the greatest sense of well-beingDiscover what you can do in just five minutes a day to be happierWill you take the dare?Join Jennifer in the pursuit of your truest, most satisfied, and most faith-filled self.

Adapt: Why Success Always Starts with Failure


Tim Harford - 2011
    People can use economics and they can use statistics and numbers to get at the truth and there is a real appetite for doing so. This is such a BBC thing to say--there’s almost a public service mission to be fulfilled in educating people about economics. When I wrote The Undercover Economist, it was all about my pure enthusiasm for the subject; the book is full of stuff I wanted to say and that is always the thing with the books: they are always such fun to write. Do you think that people these days are generally more economically literate? People are now aware of economics for various reasons. There are the problems with the economy--there is always more interest in economics when it is all going wrong. Where is the border line in your new book between economics and sociology? I don’t draw a border line, and particularly not with the new book. The Undercover Economist was basically all the cool economics I could think of and The Logic of Life was me investigating a particular part of economics. All of the references in The Logic of Life were academic economics papers that I had related--and hopefully made more fun. This new book, Adapt, is very different. I have started by asking what is wrong with the world, what needs fixing, how does it work--and if economics can tell us something about that (which it can) then I have used it. And if economics is not the tool that you need--if you need to turn to sociology or engineering or biology or psychology--I have, in fact, turned to all of them in this book. If that’s what you need, then that’s where I have gone. So I have written this book in a different way: I started with a problem and tried to figure out how to solve it. What specific subjects do you tackle? To be a bit more specific, the book is about how difficult problems get solved and I look at quick change; the banking crisis; poverty; innovation, as I think there is an innovation slow-down; and the war in Iraq. Also, I look at both problems in business and in everyday life. Those are the big problems that I look at--and my conclusion is that these sorts of problems only ever get solved by trial and error, so when they are being solved, they are being solved through experimentation, which is often a bottom-up process. When they are not being solved it is because we are not willing to experiment, or to use trial and error. Do you think companies will change to be much more experimental, with more decisions placed in the hands of employees? I don’t think that is necessarily a trend, and the reason is that the market itself is highly experimental, so if your company isn’t experimental it may just happen to have a really great, successful idea--and that’s fine; if it doesn’t, it will go bankrupt. But that said, it is very interesting to look at the range of companies who have got very into experimentation--they range from the key-cutting chain Timpson’s to Google; you can’t get more different than those two firms, but actually the language is very similar; the recruitment policies are similar; the way the employees get paid is similar. The “strap line” of the book is that “Success always starts with failure.” You are a successful author… so what was the failure that set you up for success? I was working on a book before The Undercover Economist… it was going to be a sort of Adrian Mole/Bridget Jones’ Diary-styled fictional comedy, in which the hero was this economist and through the hilarious things that happened to him, all these economic principles would be explained--which is a great idea--but the trouble is that I am not actually funny. Another example would be my first job as a management consultant… and I was a terrible management consultant. I crashed out after a few months. Much better that, than to stick with the job for two or three years-- a lot of people say you have got to do that to “show your commitment.” Taking the job was a mistake--why would I need to show my commitment to a mistake? Better to realise you made a mistake, stop and do something else, which I did. That idea that “failure breeds success” is central to most entrepreneurs. Do you think we need more of it in the UK? I think that the real problem is not failure rates in business; the problem is failure rates in politics. We need a much higher failure rate in politics. What actually happens is politicians--and this is true of all political parties--have got some project and they’ll say, “Right, we are going to do this thing,” and it is quite likely that idea is a bad idea--because most ideas fail; the world is complicated and while I don’t have the numbers for this, most ideas are, as it turns out, not good ideas. But they never collect the data, or whatever it is they need to measure, to find out where their idea is failing. So they have this bad idea, roll this bad idea out and the bad idea sticks, costs the country hundreds, millions, or billions of pounds, and then the bad idea is finally reversed by the next party on purely ideological grounds and you never find out whether it really worked or not. So we have this very, very low willingness to collect the data that would be necessary to demonstrate failure, which is the bit we actually need. To give a brief example: Ken Livingstone, as Mayor of London, came along and introduced these long, bendy buses. Boris Johnson came along and said, “If you elect me, I am going to get rid of those big bendy buses and replace them with double-decker buses.” He was elected and he did it, so… which one of them is right? I don’t know. I mean, isn’t that crazy? I know democracy is a wonderful thing and we voted for Ken Livingstone and we voted for Boris Johnson, but it would be nice to actually have the data on passenger injury rates, how quickly people can get on and off these buses, whether disabled people are using these buses… the sort of basic evidence you would want to collect. Based on that, are you a supporter of David Cameron’s “Big Society”, which in a sense favours local experimentation over central government planning? Well, I have some sympathy for the idea of local experimentation, but what worries me is that we have to have some mechanism that is going to tell you what is working and what is not--and there is no proposal for that. Cameron’s Tories seem to have the view that ‘if it is local then it will work.’ In my book, I have all kinds of interesting case studies of situations where localism really would have worked incredibly well, as in, say, the US Army in Iraq. But I have also got examples of where localism did not work well at all--such as a corruption-fighting drive in Indonesia. Is the new book, Adapt, your movement away from economic rationalist to management guru? Are you going to cast your eye over bigger problems? The two changes in Adapt are that I have tried to start with the problem, rather than saying, “I have got a hammer--I’m going to look for a nail.” I started with a nail and said, “Ok, look, I need to get this hammered in.” So I have started with the problem and then looked anywhere for solutions. And the second thing is that I have tried to do is write with more of a narrative. This is not a Malcolm Gladwell book, but I really admire the way that people like Gladwell get quite complex ideas across because they get you interested in the story; that is something that I have tried to do more of here. I am not too worried about it, because I know that I am never going to turn into Malcolm Gladwell--I am always going to be Tim Harford--but it doesn’t hurt to nudge in a certain direction. On Amazon, we recommend new book ideas to people: “If you like Tim Harford you may like…”, but what does Tim Harford also like? I read a lot of books, mostly non-fiction and in two categories: people who I think write a lot better than I do, and people who think about economics more deeply than I do. In the first category I am reading people like Michael Lewis, Kathryn Schulz (I loved her first book, Being Wrong), Malcolm Gladwell and Alain de Botton. In the second category, I read lots of technical economics books, but I enjoy Steven Landsburg, Edward Glaeser (who has a book out now which looks good), Bill Easterly… I don’t necessarily agree with all of these people! When I am not reading non-fiction, I am reading comic books or 1980s fantasy authors like Jack Vance.

What It is Like to Go to War


Karl Marlantes - 2011
    In a compelling narrative, Marlantes weaves riveting accounts of his combat experiences with thoughtful analysis, self-examination and his readings -- from Homer to the Mahabharata to Jung. He talks frankly about how he is haunted by the face of the young North Vietnamese soldier he killed at close quarters and how he finally finds a way to make peace with his past. Marlantes discusses the daily contradictions that warriors face in the grind of war, where each battle requires them to take life or spare life, and where they enter a state he likens to the fervor of religious ecstasy.Just as Matterhorn is already being acclaimed as a classic of war literature, What It Is Like To Go To War is set to become required reading for anyone -- soldier or civilian -- interested in this visceral and all too essential part of the human experience.

Just. You. Wait.: Patience, Contentment, and Hope for the Everyday


Tricia Lott Williford - 2019
    

Solitude: A Return to the Self


Anthony Storr - 1988
    Solitude was seminal in challenging the established belief that "interpersonal relationships of an intimate kind are the chief, if not the only, source of human happiness." Indeed, most self-help literature still places relationships at the center of human existence. Lucid and lyrical, Storr's book cites numerous examples of brilliant scholars and artists -- from Beethoven and Kant to Anne Sexton and Beatrix Potter -- to demonstrate that solitude ranks alongside relationships in its impact on an individual's well-being and productivity, as well as on society's progress and health. But solitary activity is essential not only for geniuses, says Storr; the average person, too, is enriched by spending time alone. For fifteen years, readers have found inspiration and renewal in Storr's erudite, compassionate vision of human experience.

50 Popular Beliefs That People Think Are True


Guy P. Harrison - 2011
    Or perhaps you're trying to find a nice way of dissuading someone from wasting money on a homeopathy cure. Or you met someone at a party who insisted the Holocaust never happened or that no one ever walked on the moon. How do you find a gently persuasive way of steering people away from unfounded beliefs, bogus cures, conspiracy theories, and the like? This down-to-earth, entertaining exploration of commonly held extraordinary claims will help you set the record straight. The author, a veteran journalist, has not only surveyed a vast body of literature, but has also interviewed leading scientists, explored "the most haunted house in America," frolicked in the inviting waters of the Bermuda Triangle, and even talked to a "contrite Roswell alien." He is not out simply to debunk unfounded beliefs. Wherever possible, he presents alternative scientific explanations, which in most cases are even more fascinating than the wildest speculation. For example, stories about UFOs and alien abductions lack good evidence, but science gives us plenty of reasons to keep exploring outer space for evidence that life exists elsewhere in the vast universe. The proof for Bigfoot or the Loch Ness Monster may be nonexistent, but scientists are regularly discovering new species, some of which are truly stranger than fiction.Stressing the excitement of scientific discovery and the legitimate mysteries and wonder inherent in reality, this book invites readers to share the joys of rational thinking and the skeptical approach to evaluating our extraordinary world.

The Blessing


John Trent - 1986
    In this update to the best-selling classic The Blessing, coauthors John Trent and Gary Smalley offer a fresh perspective on this life-changing gift with solid, practical advice on how to be a blessing as well as how to insure that your parents, spouse, and children all feel the security of family approval.The Blessing powerfully communicates biblical truths on how to instill self-worth and emotional well-being into others based on these five essential elements:Meaningful touchA spoken messageAttaching high valuePicturing a special futureAn active commitmentNo matter the age, the approval of our parents affects how we view ourselves and how we relate to others. So what if we've missed it? The final chapters explain what happens to children who do and how they can learn to live apart from the blessing.

Transcend: The New Science of Self-Actualization


Scott Barry Kaufman - 2020
    In this groundbreaking book, Kaufman picks up where Maslow left off, unraveling the mysteries of his unfinished theory, and integrating these ideas with the latest research on attachment, connection, creativity, love, purpose and other building blocks of a life well lived.Kaufman's new hierarchy of needs provides a roadmap for finding purpose and fulfillment--not by striving for money, success, or happiness, but by becoming the best version of ourselves, or what Maslow called self-actualization. While self-actualization is often thought of as a purely individual pursuit, Maslow believed that the full realization of potential requires a merging between self and the world. We don't have to choose either self-development or self-sacrifice, but at the highest level of human potential we show a deep integration of both. Transcend reveals this level of human potential that connects us not only to our highest creative potential, but also to one another.With never-before-published insights and new research findings, along with exercises and opportunities to gain insight into your own unique personality, this empowering book is a manual for self-analysis and nurturing a deeper connection not only with our highest potential but also with the rest of humanity.

Training the Samurai Mind: A Bushido Sourcebook


Thomas Cleary - 2008
    Their ethos is known as bushido, the Way of the Warrior-Knight. Here, premier translator Thomas Cleary presents a rich collection of writings on bushido by warriors, scholars, political advisors, and educators from the fifteenth century through the nineteenth century that provide a comprehensive, historically rich view of samurai life and philosophy. Training the Samurai Mind gives an insider's view of the samurai world: the moral and psychological development of the warrior, the ethical standards they were meant to uphold, their training in both martial arts and strategy, and the enormous role that the traditions of Shintoism, Buddhism, Confucianism, and Taoism had in influencing samurai ideals. The writings deal with a broad range of subjects—from military strategy and political science, to personal discipline and character development. Cleary introduces each piece, putting it into historical context, and presents biographical information about the authors. This is an essential read for anyone interested in military history and samurai history, and for martial artists who want to understand strategy.

How to Talk to a Science Denier: Conversations with Flat Earthers, Climate Deniers, and Others Who Defy Reason


Lee McIntyre - 2021
    Vaccines are bad for you. These days, many of our fellow citizens reject scientific expertise and prefer ideology to facts. They are not merely uninformed--they are misinformed. They cite cherry-picked evidence, rely on fake experts, and believe conspiracy theories. How can we convince such people otherwise? How can we get them to change their minds and accept the facts when they don't believe in facts? In this book, Lee McIntyre shows that anyone can fight back against science deniers, and argues that it's important to do so. Science denial can kill.Drawing on his own experience--including a visit to a Flat Earth convention--as well as academic research, McIntyre outlines the common themes of science denialism, present in misinformation campaigns ranging from tobacco companies' denial in the 1950s that smoking causes lung cancer to today's anti-vaxxers. He describes attempts to use his persuasive powers as a philosopher to convert Flat Earthers; surprising discussions with coal miners; and conversations with a scientist friend about genetically modified organisms in food. McIntyre offers tools and techniques for communicating the truth and values of science, emphasizing that the most important way to reach science deniers is to talk to them calmly and respectfully--to put ourselves out there, and meet them face to face.

The Unbroken Thread: Discovering the Wisdom of Tradition in an Age of Chaos


Sohrab Ahmari - 2021
    For millennia, the world's great ethical and religious traditions taught that true happiness lies in pursuing virtue and accepting limits. But now, unbound from these stubborn traditions, we are free to choose whichever way of life we think is most optimal — or, more often than not, merely the easiest. All that remains are the fickle desires that a wealthy, technologically advanced society is equipped to fulfill.The result is a society riven by deep conflict and individual lives that, for all their apparent freedom, are marked by alienation and stark unhappiness.In response to this crisis, Ahmari offers twelve questions for us to grapple with — twelve timeless, fundamental queries that challenge our modern certainties. Among them: Is God reasonable? What is freedom for? What do we owe our parents, our bodies, one another? Exploring each question through the life and ideas of great thinkers, from Saint Augustine to Howard Thurman and from Abraham Joshua Heschel to Andrea Dworkin, Ahmari invites us to examine the hidden assumptions that drive our behavior and, in so doing, to live more humanely in a world that has lost its way.Editorial Reviews“[The Unbroken Thread] merits attention . . . because Ahmari is a notable combatant in the fight on the American right for the future of conservatism.”—The New York Times Book Review“Ahmari’s elegantly written book matters because it seeks to give moral voice to what so far has mainly been a populist scream against the values of elite liberalism.”—Bret Stephens, The New York Times“A scholarly rebuke to the fashionable currents of our rootless age. . . . Salted with an intellectual breadth and curiosity, expressed with exceptional clarity.”—The Times (London)“A formidable combination of storytelling and philosophy that might change your life.”—The Times (London), Audiobook of the Week“A vital and provocative read. . . . Designed to satisfy the curiosity of those wondering whether there is more to life than rootless independence, The Unbroken Thread is an easy read, while still meaty enough to reward those already sympathetic to tradition’s insights. . . . Studded with little gems of historical and philosophical intrigue.”—The Telegraph (London)“[Ahmari] is a master storyteller. . . . Readers of Sohrab Ahmari’s new book will be grateful to him for reminding us of how serious the loss [of our traditions] could turn out to be.”—First Things“Even those who reject Ahmari’s categories and conclusions will still admire and be edified by the stories he has to tell.”—National Review“A triumph of intellectual hagiography that leads the reader confidently into deep waters.”—Commentary“Ahmari proposes a path out of the chaos in our culture today, discerning the reasons of the heart and promoting moral excellence. He frames the questions we all need to ponder and identifies many topics that families and religious leaders need to address — the sooner, the better.”—The New Criterion“Sohrab Ahmari’s latest book presents compelling critiques of the modern understanding of human freedom.”—The American Conservative“An extended, carefully worded invitation to share in the treasures of Western civilization.”—Claremont Review of Books“Ahmari’s prose is always clear, and he manages to articulate sophisticated arguments without ever sounding academic or getting lost in minutia.”—Washington Examiner“The Unbroken Thread will be of great service to Americans who have been deprived of their moral and philosophical inheritance by a shallow educational establishment. . . . Ahmari introduces a generation (and more) to the spiritual patrimony of which they have been robbed. And he does it in the gentlest way possible, knowing its riches may dazzle eyes that have too long alighted on only the rusted scrap of utilitarian liberalism.”—Spectator USA“The urgent need for this work cannot be doubted. For as Ahmari concludes his reflections, the social trends that fill parents like him with unease also come into sharper focus.”—National Catholic Register“The quality that makes [Ahmari] a valuable thinker for our current moment is the same one that made him write this book in the way that he did: his willingness to take risks.”—City Journal“Honestly, if there were another hundred Sohrab Ahmaris, or even just a dozen, the Church in the US would be transformed. . . . [A] humane and combative book.”—The Catholic Herald“Fiercely intelligent. . . . Bristling with ideas and insights, this is a book to engage theologians and general readers alike.”—Church Times (London)“Intriguing and insightful. . . . The Unbroken Thread is clearly the result of wide reading and reflection. . . . While Ahmari’s arguments are easy to read, copying and sending them to your older children is even easier.”—Catholic World Report“Although Ahmari is gentle with the reader, his aim is daring. He seeks nothing less than to build a city of heroes. . . . [His] verve and punchy style will make any educated reader rethink or think more about our society’s shaky foundations. Better yet, it might even make a saint or two.”—The University Bookman“The Unbroken Thread is a most welcome invitation to take both wisdom and tradition seriously again, to see in tradition an indispensable vehicle for conveying and sustaining wisdom about the things that truly matter. In that regard, Ahmari’s very fine book is profoundly countercultural.”—The Public Discourse“The book recalls . . . C.S. Lewis's Mere Christianity, a guide for the skeptical everyman to the traditionalist's position.”—The Washington Free Beacon“The Unbroken Thread is simply tradition issuing a series of reminders to Western liberalism. And yet we’d be remiss if we didn’t attend closely to the conceptual contours traced by Ahmari’s highly readable book.”—Human Events“The Unbroken Thread is an achievement in scholarship, journalism, and entertainment. . . . If you’re feeling 'exhausted' or just looking for refreshment and renewed energy, read The Unbroken Thread.”—The Catholic Thing“Well-written, thoughtful and true arguments.”—UnHerd“The Unbroken Thread is persuasive because it is a father’s working-out of a vision worth imparting to his child. Ahmari’s love for his son is a gateway to the book’s universal concerns.”—Arc Digital“With The Unbroken Thread, New York Post op-ed editor Sohrab Ahmari has given us a beautifully written book that makes classical and Christian thought intelligible, relevant, and attractive to contemporary readers.”—Providence Magazine“Ahmari is speaking to all of us as the children we are, appealing to our reason, as well as to our eternal selves. He petitions that part of us that, like children, reaches out to the sky, the universe, the heavens, and pleads for some glimpse of true meaning. We beggars at the altar of mercy have tried everything we could think of, have indulged in every kind of fulfillment, prioritized every pursuit, and still none of them can equate to the glory of God's love.”—The Post Millennial“Ahmari’s eminently readable book is a rediscovery of time-tested wisdom.”—The Daily Signal“The Unbroken Thread is not a polemic; it is an intellectual journey told as a series of cozy, fireside chats. . . . It satisfies what the late critic Harold Bloom considered the reader’s strongest, most authentic motive: 'the search for a difficult pleasure.’ ”—The Imaginative Conservative“While Ahmari’s new book is certainly well-written, it does not leave readers feeling comfortable. Instead, it challenges readers, conservative and progressive alike, to examine not just their opinions but their habits — and those of their civilization. . . . It is both poignant and edifying.”—The European Conservative“Ahmari deftly blends history, biography, and philosophy to propose answers to the questions he sets himself.” —SemiduplexAdvance Praise“Sohrab Ahmari offers more than a vivid and learned defense of traditionalism. With fatherly love, he leads his son—and us—on a fearless consideration of life’s big questions, taking thinkers of many historical times and circumstances as interlocutors. Along the way, he recovers truths about the nature and flourishing of the human person—truths seemingly in danger of being forgotten in our contentious and uncertain times.”—Timothy Cardinal Dolan, Archbishop of New York“Ahmari’s tour de force makes tradition astonishingly vivid and relevant for the here and now. Only a writer with Ahmari’s intellect, his audacious commitment to faith and reason, and a journalist’s gift for storytelling could have pulled this off.” —Rod Dreher, bestselling author of Live Not by Lies and The Benedict Option“A serious—and seriously readable—book about the deep questions that our shallow age has foolishly tried to dodge.”—Douglas Murray, bestselling author of The Madness of Crowds and The Strange Death of Europe“As having a child instantly teaches us, it’s no longer about you. Ahmari uses his personal experience, but then broadens out to draw on wisdoms of all ages and faiths. He jars us out of our selfie-obsessed world with the clear message that commitment to faith, to others, and to humanity is actually the most liberating existence of all.”—Martha MacCallum, anchor, The Story on Fox News, and author, Unknown Valor: A Story of Family, Courage, and Sacrifice from Pearl Harbor to Iwo Jima“In this fascinating book, Sohrab Ahmari eloquently articulates what many American Founders understood and the French revolutionaries forgot: that faith is essential for freedom to truly flourish, and that we abandon the wisdom of the past at great peril to our future. Traditional Jews, Christians, and all who care about the future of the West are in his debt.” —Rabbi Meir Soloveichik, director, Straus Center for Torah and Western Thought, Yeshiva University“In a time of widespread confusion and uncertainty about the meaning of life, Sohrab Ahmari makes a strong case for the truth and relevance of traditional values, virtues, and beliefs. This is a unique and hopeful book that reminds us that the human person is made for great and beautiful things — far more than the vision of life offered by our society today.”—Most Reverend José H. Gomez, Archbishop of Los Angeles“Drawing on the deepest wells of ancient and modern wisdom from around the world, The Unbroken Thread weaves together essential lessons desperately needed to guide a new generation into an uncertain future. Written with love as a legacy for his young son, Sohrab Ahmari has produced a gift for all of us.” —Patrick J. Deneen, professor of political science, University of Notre Dame, and author of Why Liberalism Failed“Sohrab Ahmari has been thinking for himself since arriving from Iran as a youth. Paradoxically, he has thought himself back into the heart of our best traditions and has seen, with striking clarity, that the modern quest for total liberation of the intellect and will is both quixotic and damaging, individually and collectively. This clever and engaging work is the result; the dozen questions it asks are fresh, and the answers it gives are powerfully persuasive.” —Adrian Vermeule, Ralph S. Tyler, Jr. Professor of Constitutional Law, Harvard Law School

I Am My Mother's Daughter: Making Peace with Mom---Before It's Too Late


Iris Krasnow - 2006
    With women's life expectancy inching up past eighty, you may be embroiled with your mother well past the time your own hair turns white. The good news: Living longer means more time to make peace--and this book shows you how. Drawing on her own experience with her colorful eighty-four-year-old mother and the collective wisdom of more than one hundred other adult daughters, Krasnow offers a fresh perspective on how to overcome the anger, guilt, and resentment that can destroy a family. The time to repair the bond is now, she reminds us: You can't kiss and make up at her funeral. The key is to let go of the fantasy mom and embrace the flesh-and-blood woman, with all her flaws.