is sure to make you laugh.Ellen DeGeneres published her first book of comic essays, the #1 bestselling My Point...And I Do Have One, way back in 1996. Not one to rest on her laurels, the witty star of stage and screen has since dedicated her life to writing a hilarious new book. That book is this book. After years of painstaking, round-the-clock research, surviving on a mere twenty minutes of sleep a night, and collaborating with lexicographers, plumbers, and mathematicians, DeGeneres has crafted a work that is both easy to use and very funny. Along with her trademark ramblings, The Funny Thing Is... contains hundreds of succinct insights into her psyche and offers innovative features including: -More than 50,000 simple, short words arranged in sentences that form paragraphs. -Thousands of observations on everyday life—from terrible fashion trends to how to handle seating arrangements for a Sunday brunch with Paula Abdul, Diane Sawyer, and Eminem. -All twenty-six letters of the alphabet.

    A white father. Two murdered sons. A quest for vengeance.Ike Randolph has been out of jail for fifteen years, with not so much as a speeding ticket in all that time. But a Black man with cops at the door knows to be afraid.The last thing he expects to hear is that his son Isiah has been murdered, along with Isiah’s white husband, Derek. Ike had never fully accepted his son but is devastated by his loss. Derek’s father Buddy Lee was almost as ashamed of Derek for being gay as Derek was ashamed his father was a criminal. Buddy Lee still has contacts in the underworld, though, and he wants to know who killed his boy.Ike and Buddy Lee, two ex-cons with little else in common other than a criminal past and a love for their dead sons, band together in their desperate desire for revenge. In their quest to do better for their sons in death than they did in life, hardened men Ike and Buddy Lee will confront their own prejudices about their sons and each other, as they rain down vengeance upon those who hurt their boys.Provocative and fast-paced, S. A. Cosby's Razorblade Tears is a story of bloody retribution, heartfelt change - and maybe even redemption.

    The greatest villain Starlight City has ever known. The greatest supervillain the world has ever seen. She rules her city with an iron fist, and there are no new worlds to conquer. Needless to say life is pretty damn boring. All that changes when she decides to shake things up by robbing a bank the old fashioned way and runs into the city's newest hero: Fialux. Flying Fialux. Invulnerable Fialux. Super strong Fialux. Beautiful Fialux? Night Terror has a new archenemy who might just be able to defeat her, but even more terrifying are the confusing feelings this upstart heroine has ignited. She doesn't like heroes like that. She definitely doesn't like girls like that. Right? Only she can't deny the flutter she feels whenever she thinks of Starlight City's newest heroine! The line between hate and love is a razor's edge that the world's greatest villainess will have to walk if she wants to hold onto that title! Villains Don't Date Heroes! is a lesbian scifi romance novel that explores the world of villains, antiheroes, and heroes in a whole new way! This novel was previously published as Villainess Love. It's been completely rewritten with about 50% new content and is the first in a planned series following the misadventures of Night Terror and Fialux!

    Copperfield at a party. Two serious ladies who want to live outside of themselves, they go in search of salvation: Mrs. Copperfield visits Panama with her husband, where she finds solace among the women who live and work in its brothels; while Miss Goering becomes involved with various men. At the end the two women meet again, each changed by her experience. Mysterious, profound, anarchic and very funny, 'Two Serious Ladies' is a daring, original work that defies analysis.

    She’s a lesbian with a ton of baggage—fearful, guilty, and alone. Very few things would compel her to leave the familiar. The job offer of a lifetime is one of them. Against her better judgment, she packs up, and moves to Illinois. Unfortunately, she’s not there long before she’s convinced that the devil is hunting her down. Gabe Garst is a police officer. She’s also a powerful medium. Her work with juvenile delinquents and ghosts is all that keeps her going. Inside she’s dead, certain that her capacity to love is buried six feet under. Talking with and seeing the dead has always come easily, and yet for some reason, she’s not able to communicate with her late wife. She’s grieving, depressed, and alone. Suicide seems like the best option. It’s just a matter of time.Anna and Gabe’s paths cross. Their attraction is immediate, but they hold back until all hope seems lost. As good battles evil, two tortured souls must engage in a struggle to overcome demons of their own.

    With that accusation stuck in her head, Isabelle throws caution to the wind and dives into her first one-night stand. Checking that off her bucket list should be something to celebrate—except it turns out that the woman she just spent an earth-shattering night with is actually her newly hired company pilot, Audrey Graham.Ms. Never-See-You-Again just turned into Ms. See-You-Constantly.Concerned about the stigma of workplace dalliances, Isabelle vows it can’t go further than the one night. Good plan—if not for an insistent libido and an even more persistent Audrey who conspires to break Isabelle’s resolve. Soon their no strings arrangement starts to feel a lot like dating, and Isabelle finds herself wanting more than just casual nights together...Genre: RomanceEditor: Cath WalkerCover Designer: Judith Fellows

    She's "Miss Popularity", smart, the president of her sorority, on the Dean's List, a public figure in her community, and comes from a wealthy family. She is beautiful and desired by many. People think that she's got her life all figured out. She does too, until she crosses paths with... J.B. Donovan, The editor of the campus newspaper. J.B. isn't looking for love with Shanelle, especially after being scarred in a previous relationship. J.B. had never been in a secret relationship and has no intentions of ever being in one. However, there is something about "Miss Popularity" that proves to be too irresistible to pass up. Curiosity leads to love, but is love enough for a woman who knows who she is and what she wants and a woman who is still trying to figure it out in spite of the challenges that are thrown their way? She Say, She Say: A Modern Love Story is a tale about love, growth, discovery, and acceptance. Follow J.B. and Shanelle as they take their journey together.

    A catlike psychopath whose love for the creature comforts of her luxurious lifestyle is second only to her love of the game, she specializes in murdering the world's richest and most powerful. But when she murders an influential Russian politician, she draws a relentless foe to her tail. Eve Polastri (not a codename) is a former MI6 operative hired by the national security services for a singular task: to find and capture or kill the assassin responsible, and those who have aided her. Eve, whose quiet and otherwise unextraordinary life belies her quick wit and keen intellect, accepts the mission. The ensuing chase will lead them on a trail around the world, intersecting with corrupt governments and powerful criminal organizations, all leading towards a final confrontation from which neither will emerge unscathed. Codename Villanelle is a sleek, fast-paced international thriller from an exciting new voice in fiction.

    But not everyone aboard shares such noble ideals. Bootlegging, booze, and prostitution form a lucrative underground economy for rival gangs, which the authorities are happy to turn a blind eye to until a disassembled corpse is found dancing in the micro-gravity. In charge of the murder investigation is Nikki "Fix" Freeman, who is not thrilled to have Alice Blake, an uptight government goody-two-shoes, riding shotgun. As the bodies pile up, and the partners are forced to question their own memories, Nikki and Alice begin to realize that gang warfare may not be the only cause for the violence.

    Developed a strategic marketing plan 2. Pined for him. 3. Denied my feelings for him. 4. Dragged him into an alley and had my way with him. Roxy Quinn thought she’d never see Edward Cavendish III again. The wealthy, English hotelier had wandered into her tattoo parlor, slightly drunk and broken-hearted. Roxy judged him on the spot: too polite and reserved for her punk-rock tastes. But Edward was more than just a handsome stranger with a sexy accent. He was a man desperate to unleash his secret desires. After a night of exquisite passion, Roxy sends Edward back into the night. She has no time to be tempted by his charming wit when her business is failing and she’s struggling with her MBA classes. Besides, they couldn’t be more wrong for each other. After a lifetime trapped in his parents’ legacy, Edward remembers his night with the tattooed, scowling vixen as glorious freedom. But it’s not freedom he needs now. It’s to find the right wife so he can finally take charge of the hotel he loves. Roxy, with her ripped stockings and secret piercings, is not the kind of wife that would fulfill the terms of his trust fund. Months after their memorable one-night stand, Edward and Roxy are paired up in a business school mentoring program where they must maintain a strictly professional relationship for the semester. With the future of Roxy’s business and Edward’s inheritance at stake, can they do it? Or will they surrender to their desires, risking everything?

    Bills were piling up, adding up to more money than I could ever make. Mom's hospital bills. My baby brother's tuition. My tuition. Rent. Electricity. All of it on my shoulders. And I had just lost my job. There was no hope, no money in my account, no work to be found. And then, just when I thought all hope was lost, I found an envelope in the mail. No return address. My name on the front, my address. Inside was a check, made out to me, in the amount of ten thousand dollars. Enough to pay the bills and leave me some left over to live on until I found a job. Enough to let me focus on classes. There was no name on the check, just "VRI Inc.," and a post office box address for somewhere in the city. No hint of identity or reason for the check or anything. No mention of repayment, interest, nothing…except a single word, on the notes line: "You." Just those three letters.If you receive a mysterious check, for enough money to erase all your worries, would you cash it?I did.The next month, I received another check, again from VRI Incorporated. It too contained a single word: "belong."A third check, the next month. This time, two words. Four letters. "To me."The checks kept coming. The notes stopped. Ten thousand dollars, every month. A girl gets used to that, real quick. It let me pay the bills without going into debt. Let me keep my baby brother in school and Mom's hospice care paid for. How do you turn down what seems like free money, when you're desperate? You don't. I didn't.And then, after a year, there was a knock on my door. A sleek black limousine sat on the curb in front of my house. A driver stood in front of me, and he spoke six words: "It's time to pay your debt."Would you have gotten in?I did.It turns out $120,000 doesn't come free.

    They walked away, leaving behind regrets, the one woman they loved—and each other.The heat between the three had always been intense, but now it’s a scorching fire. If the triad is lucky, they’ll walk away from the inferno whole. If fate is truly on their side, they’ll walk away…together.

    Brite.The classic horror tale is about fear. But in the last few years a new literature of the macabre has arisen, one that goes deeper than horror, beyond fear, to explore our darkest, most intimate hungers. The ones even lovers are forbidden to share.Acclaimed dark fantasy author Poppy Z. Brite has brought together this genre's most powerful and seductive authors in an original collection of vampiric erotica, a shameless celebration of unspeakable intimacies. It is not for everyone.But neither is the night.

    Commanded. Consumed.With a dirty mind and a mouth to match, Clay Nichols is everything Julia never knew she wanted and exactly what she cannot have. He walked into her life one night and unlocked pleasure in her that she never knew was possible. Possessing her body, captivating her every thought. Which makes him way too dangerous for Julia to risk her heart, given that she has a price tag on her head. She ran after one mind-blowing week with him, but now he's back, and determined to make her his own.No matter the cost.She was a sexy drug to him. Fiery, unforgettable, and never enough, Julia is an enigma, and Clay isn't willing to let her go without a fight. But she's got dark secrets of her own that threaten to destroy any chance of happiness. She's a wanted woman—the stakes are high, her every move is watched, and yet the lure between them can't be denied. Can two people burned by love trust again when desire and passion are met by danger at every turn?

    And she will, as soon as the idea of performing doesn’t scare the voice out of her. Until then she orchestrates another life;predictable, responsible, and dull. Then Kara walks on stage, a flirty goddess with long, wavy hair and sultry caramel-flecked eyes that drip with sex appeal. Inhibitions and commitments fall like shattered glass, as the duo form a musical sensation. Becca is big! But can self indulgence substitute for self respect? Can a wild ride stop at happiness? In this fast paced, sexy novel, finding out what really matters in life doesn;t always mean you get it. Or does it?