Book picks similar to
New Moan: The Twishite Saga - A Parody by Stephfordy Mayo
vampires
fantasy
parody
young-adult
Bill the Vampire
Rick Gualtieri - 2011
He isn't one of them. Meet Bill Ryder: programmer, gamer geek, and hopeless dweeb when it comes to women. All he ever asked for out of life was to collect his paycheck, hang out with his buds, and eventually (someday) ask out the girl of his dreams.However, then Bill met Sally. She was mysterious, aggressive, and best of all...smoking hot. Bill never stood a chance. Before he knew what was happening Sally had lead him to his death, and that was only the beginning of his troubles. Now Bill awakes to find himself an undead predator of the night. The only problem is he’s still at the bottom of the food chain. He’s in way over his head, surrounded by creatures more dangerous, better looking, and a whole lot cooler than he is. Worst of all is the dreaded Night Razor, a master vampire who just can’t stand him. He gives Bill a 90-day deadline to either prove himself or meet a more permanent kind of death, and the deck is definitely stacked against him.But Bill isn’t exactly average. A vampire like him hasn’t been seen in over five centuries. He's got a few tricks up his sleeve, unlikely allies to help him out, and an attitude problem that makes him just too damn obnoxious to quit. He may just pull it off... if he doesn't get his teeth kicked in first.Bill the Vampire is an 80,000 word horror comedy adventure by Rick Gualtieri.
The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant
Drew Hayes - 2014
Some live boring. Some even die boring. Fred managed to do all three, and when he woke up as a vampire, he did so as a boring one. Timid, socially awkward, and plagued by self-esteem issues, Fred has never been the adventurous sort.One fateful night – different from the night he died, which was more inconvenient than fateful – Fred reconnects with an old friend at his high school reunion. This rekindled relationship sets off a chain of events thrusting him right into the chaos that is the parahuman world, a world with chipper zombies, truck driver wereponies, maniacal necromancers, ancient dragons, and now one undead accountant trying his best to “survive.” Because even after it’s over, life can still be a downright bloody mess.
Dark Heart Forever
Lee Monroe - 2010
Her mother is becoming anxious about Jane's disruptive sleepwalking episodes, but for Jane her dream world and reality are about to collide.
Hidden
Shalini Boland - 2011
Madison Greene is in foster care until one day she inherits a fortune, she inherits a house, she inherits a cellar full of danger. Alexandre Chevalier lives in 19th century Paris. On an archaeological expedition, he discovers a lost underground city where his life changes forever. Their lives entwine, but this is only the beginning...
Look for Me by Moonlight
Mary Downing Hahn - 1995
His charm and sensitivity are irresistible. His attentiveness is constant. Cynda's sure she's in love. Daring to hope that the stranger shares her feelings, Cynda is innocently blind to who he really is--or to the terrible danger of coming under his spell.
The Hunt
Andrew Fukuda - 2012
Don’t laugh. Don’t draw attention to yourself. And most of all, whatever you do, do not fall in love with one of them.Gene is different from everyone else around him. He can’t run with lightning speed, sunlight doesn’t hurt him, and he doesn’t have an unquenchable lust for blood. Gene is a human, and he knows the rules. Keep the truth a secret. It’s the only way to stay alive in a world of night - a world where humans are considered a delicacy and hunted for their blood.When he’s chosen for a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to hunt the last remaining humans, Gene’s carefully constructed life begins to crumble around him. He’s thrust into the path of a girl who makes him feel things he never thought possible - and into a ruthless pack of hunters whose suspicions about his true nature are growing. Now that Gene has finally found something worth fighting for, his need to survive is stronger than ever - but is it worth the cost of his humanity?
John Winchester's Journal (Supernatural)
Alexander C. Irvine - 2009
Now you can, too.On November 2, 1983, Sam and Dean Winchester lost their mother to a demonic supernatural force. In the wake of the tragedy, their father, John, set out to learn everything he could about the paranormal evil that lives in the dark corners and on the back roads of America . . . and how to kill it. In his personal journal, he not only compiled folklore, legend, and superstition about all manner of otherworldly enemies but he also recorded his experiences—hunting the creature that killed his wife even as he raised his two sons.Part prequel, part resource guide, John Winchester's Journal finally gives fans the ultimate companion book for Supernatural. It's all here: the exorcism Sam and Dean used in "Phantom Traveler," John's notes on everything from shape-shifters to Samuel Colt, Dean's first hunt, Sam's peewee soccer team . . . and John's single-minded pursuit of a growing and deadly evil.
Savor
Megan Duncan - 2011
The rulers of her region, a vampire royal family, have chosen her to be turned as their new heir and vampire princess. In a world fueled by the power of blood, Claire quickly discovers the vampire royal family is not what they seem and that she has secrets in her past, she never knew existed.**Now professionally edited!**Other Books By Megan:Warm Delicacy Series Savor, Book 1 - Currently Free Indulge, Book 2 Devour, Book 3 Royal Blood (Warm Delicacy Series Books 1-3)Agents of Evil Series Released, Book 1 - Currently Free Chaos, Book 2 Vengeance, Book 3 (Coming Soon!)Falling From Eternity (A Paranormal Love Story - Novella)The Long Road Home (A Contemporary Romance
Bloodline
Kate Cary - 2005
But now a new evil walks among the living. . . . When nineteen-year-old John Shaw returns from the trenches of World War I, he is haunted by nightmares—not only of the battlefield, but of the strange, cruel and impossible feats of his regiment's commander, Quincey Harker. Harker's ferocity knows no limits, and his strength is superhuman. At first John blames his bloody nightmares on trench fever. But when Harker appears in England and begins wooing John's sister, John must confront the truth—and stop Harker from continuing Dracula's bloodline.
The Nine Lives of Chloe King
Celia Thomson - 2004
She goes to class (most of the time), fights with her mom, and crushes on a boy... or two. But around her sixteenth birthday, Chloe finds that perhaps she isn’t so normal after all. There’s the heightened night vision, the super fast reflexes – oh, and the claws.As she discovers who she is – and where she comes from – it is clear she is not alone. And someone is out to get her.Chloe has nine lives. But will nine be enough?
Cold Kiss
Amy Garvey - 2011
In a heartbroken fury, armed with dark incantations and a secret power, Wren decides that what she wants—what she must do—is to bring Danny back.But the Danny who returns is just a shell of the boy Wren fell in love with. His touch is icy; his skin, smooth and stiff as marble; his chest, cruelly silent when Wren rests her head against it.Wren must keep Danny a secret, hiding him away, visiting him at night, while her life slowly unravels around her. Then Gabriel DeMarnes transfers to her school, and Wren realizes that somehow, inexplicably, he can sense the powers that lie within her—and that he knows what she has done. And now Gabriel wants to help make things right.But Wren alone has to undo what she has wrought—even if it means breaking her heart all over again.
My Life as a White Trash Zombie
Diana Rowland - 2011
Now on probation for a felony, it seems that Angel will never pull herself out of the downward spiral her life has taken.That is, until the day she wakes up in the ER after overdosing on painkillers. Angel remembers being in a horrible car crash, but she doesn't have a mark on her. To add to the weirdness, she receives an anonymous letter telling her there's a job waiting for her at the parish morgue—and that it's an offer she doesn't dare refuse.Before she knows it she's dealing with a huge crush on a certain hunky deputy and a brand new addiction: an overpowering craving for brains. Plus, her morgue is filling up with the victims of a serial killer who decapitates his prey—just when she's hungriest!Angel's going to have to grow up fast if she wants to keep this job and stay in one piece. Because if she doesn't, she's dead meat.Literally.
Johannes Cabal the Necromancer
Jonathan L. Howard - 2009
Johannes Cabal, a brilliant scientist and notorious snob, is single-mindedly obsessed in heart and soul with raising the dead. Well, perhaps not "soul" . . . He hastily sold his years ago in order to learn the laws of necromancy. But now, tormented by a dark secret, he travels to the fiery pits of Hell to retrieve it. Satan, who is incredibly bored these days, proposes a little wager: Johannes has one year to persuade one hundred people to sign over their souls or he will be damned forever. To make the bet even more interesting, Satan throws in that diabolical engine of deceit, seduction, and corruption known as a "traveling circus" to aid in the evil bidding. What better place exists to rob poor sad saps of their souls than the traveling carnivals historically run by hucksters and legendary con men? With little time to lose, Johannes raises a motley crew from the dead and enlists his brother, Horst, a charismatic vampire (an unfortunate side effect of Johannes's early experiments with necromancy), to be the carnival's barker. On the road through the pastoral English countryside, this team of reprobates wields their black magic with masterful ease, resulting in mayhem at every turn. Johannes may have the moral conscience of anthrax, but are his tricks sinful enough to beat the Devil at his own game? You'll never guess, and that's a promise! Brilliantly written and wickedly funny, "Johannes Cabal the Necromancer" combines the chills and thrills of old-fashioned gothic tales like "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow," the mischievous humor of "Wicked," and the sophisticated charms of" Jonathan Strange &Mr. Norrell "and spins the Faustian legend into a fresh, irreverent, and irresistible new adventure.
Jenny Pox
J.L. Bryan - 2010
A lifetime of avoiding any physical contact with others has made her isolated and painfully lonely in her small rural town.Then she meets the one boy she can touch. Jenny feels herself falling for Seth...but if she's going to be with him, Jenny must learn to use the deadly pox inside her to confront his ruthless and manipulative girlfriend Ashleigh, who secretly wields the most dangerous power of all.* * *Not recommended for readers under eighteen.BONUS: Includes an excerpt of Glimpse by Stacey Wallace Benefiel.
Numbers
Rachel Ward - 2008
That number is a date: the date they will die. Burdened with such awful awareness, Jem avoids relationships. Until she meets Spider, another outsider, and takes a chance. The two plan a trip to the city. But while waiting to ride the Eye ferris wheel, Jem is terrified to see that all the other tourists in line flash the same number. Today's number. Today's date. Terrorists are going to attack London. Jem's world is about to explode!