They shout out to him: 'good luck, and don't get slurped up!'. It's about to get even weirder at the castle where there is a battle of wills going on between the mysterious Count and what he terms, the 'blood-sucking b*tches!' in the village, led by the infamous van High-Heelsing. But who will prevail on the runway? As each kween sashays towards the jugular, the reader is taken on a journey to the ultimate lip sync for your life finale.

    Talented, yet relatively unknown actress and celebration cake baker extraordinaire Olivia Lambert is running out of time.Approaching forty, she’s yet to land the role that will launch her television career and she’s desperate to be a mum.Her new man, Phil Grimshaw from the Bluebell Cliff Hotel, seems the perfect match, but seems to be in no rush to settle down.Having ditched her childhood sweetheart and fiancé, Tom Boyd, when he backtracked about being a dad, Olivia dreads making the same mistake again.Rocked by confessions from both her sister Ruby and Tom, Olivia knows it’s time to make some life changing decisions.Then a terrifying incident off Chesil Beach changes the course of her future and brings Olivia to question everything she values and loves.

    But you don't know this Darcy because THIS Darcy is a woman. In PREJUDICE & PRIDE, Lynn Messina’s modern retelling with a gender-bendy twist, everything is vaguely familiar and yet wholly new. Bingley is here, in the form of Charlotte "Bingley" Bingston, an heiress staying at the Netherfield hotel on Central Park, as is Longbourn, transformed from an ancestral home into a perennially cash-strapped art museum on the edge of the city. Naturally, it employs an audacious fundraiser with an amused glint in his eye called Bennet. All the favorite characters are present and cleverly updated: Providing the cringe-worthy bon mots is Mr. Meryton, the nerve-wracked executive director of the Longbourn who’s always on the lookout for heiresses to join his museum’s very important committees. (Universally acknowledged truth: Any woman in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a social committee to chair.) Collin Parsons is still in obsequious, if ironic, awe of his patroness, Lady Catherine de Bourgh. The wicked Georgia Wickham toils as a graphic designer at Redcoat Design by day and schemes against Darcy by night. With her trademark wit and style, Lynn Messina takes the genres she does best—chick lit, mashups, and Regency romance—and weaves them into one delightfully entertaining tale that doubles as a fun guessing game.

    Only know," and here she broke off, suddenly shy, "that even though I must deny myself the privilege of being your wife for love of my sister, I should very dearly like to have you for a brother!" Elizabeth Bennet does not set out to manipulate people; it is merely that the correct choice of words, accompanied by an engaging smile or a beseeching look, yields the most satisfactory results. The morning after the Netherfield ball, Lizzy dispenses with one unwelcome suitor to her hand so amicably and successfully that she sees no reason why she should not make use of her talent for tactful speeches and deal with other unwelcome suitors in the same deft manner. Unfortunately, not all young men are quite so obligingly obtuse as her poor foolish cousin, and Elizabeth finds that one particular gentleman from Derbyshire proves annoyingly impervious to her cunning.

    Wodehouse novels and story and article collections, with active table of contents. Illustrated with 10 unique illustrations.The Adventures of SallyThe Clicking of CuthbertThe Coming of BillA Damsel in DistressDeath At The Excelsior, and Other StoriesThe Gem CollectorThe Girl on the BoatThe Gold BatThe Head of Kay'sIndiscretions of ArchieThe Intrusion of JimmyJill the RecklessThe Little NuggetThe Little WarriorLove Among the ChickensA Man of MeansThe Man Upstairs and Other StoriesThe Man With Two Left Feet And Other StoriesMikeMike and PsmithMy Man JeevesNot George Washington, An Autobiographical NovelPiccadilly JimThe Politeness of Princes and Other School StoriesThe PothuntersA Prefect's UnclePsmith in the CityPsmith, JournalistRight Ho, JeevesSomething NewThe Swoop! or How Clarence Saved EnglandTales of St. Austin'sThree Men and a MaidUneasy MoneyThe White FeatherA Wodehouse Miscellany, Articles & Stories

    But when Neil's brother buys the house she grew up in, it seems fate has other plans in store, and Anne is woefully unprepared for the roller coaster of emotions that accompanies Neil's return. Fans of Persuasion will love this fast-paced, modern retelling of Jane Austen's most romantic novel.

    Sir Walter Elliot refused to countenance a marriage, and Anne's godmother, Lady Russell, strongly advised Anne against him. Persuaded by those nearest to her, Anne had given him up and he had taken his broken heart to sea. When Jane Austen's Persuasion opens in the year 1814, Frederick Wentworth, now a famous and wealthy captain in His Majesty's Navy, finds himself back in England and, as fate would have it, residing as a guest in Anne's former home. Now, it is the baronet who is in financial difficulties, and Anne exists only at her family's beck and call. For eight long years, Frederick had steeled his heart against her. Should he allow Anne into his heart again, or should he look for love with younger, prettier woman in the neighbourhood who regard him as a hero? The mature sweetness of Jane Austen's Persuasion is brought to life in Wytherngate Press's, None But You ., the first in the two-volume series, Frederick Wentworth, Captain, by Susan Kaye.

    It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.Jane Austen's classic story of love, manners and muslin, retold in an entirely new way.

    Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, a secret potion accidentally turns eager-to-please eighth grader Jaclyn into Jackie, a goblin-like monster who'll do anything to win at everything she does--no matter how much chaos she creates along the way. Jaclyn Hyde is almost perfect. Whether she's baking cookies for her classmates, building a replica Mt. Vesuvius for the science fair, or practicing her lines for Fog Island: The Musical, she almost never makes mistakes.But when she discovers the last batch of perfection potion in an abandoned laboratory, Jaclyn decides that being almost perfect isn't perfect enough anymore.But instead she finds out that trying to be perfectly perfect isn't all it's cracked up to be. In fact, it's downright horrifying. The potion turns Jaclyn into Jackie, a goblin-like monster who'll do anything to make sure Jaclyn comes out on top.Suddenly, she's wreaking havoc on the school play, stealing someone else's brownies to pass off as her own, and even destroying someone's painting to get herself crowned "Artist of the Week." And that's just the beginning. Jackie will stop at nothing to make sure everyone knows just how perfect Jaclyn really is.So now, if Jaclyn wants to save her school, her friends, and herself from her perfectly horrifying alter-ego, she's going to have to screw up her courage and risk it all--even if that means admitting that she never was as perfect as she seemed.Annabeth Bondor-Stone and Connor White, the authors of Time Tracers and the Shivers series, bring their signature wit and humor to this thrilling new take on The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde--just right for anyone who's ever wished to be more perfect.

    There’s Irish craic and shenanigans aplenty for the colourful cast of characters as everyone gathers for the grand opening.Meet Melissa, an ex-cabaret singer running from her abusive husband, and Bill, a bachelor bullied from beyond the grave by the ghostly voice of his mother. Along with local bobby Harry the Helmet, ageing aquatic team the Boomerville Babes, eccentric artist Lucinda Gray, and heartthrob Finbar Murphy, they gather in Ireland and the fun begins. But murder is in the air and there’s mischief afoot. Will the residents get more than they bargained for at Boomerville?Set in the beautiful Irish countryside, ‘Boomerville at Ballymegille’ is a heart-warming story of friendship, fears and new beginnings.

    Ranging from tiny sketches and prose poems to longer, more conventional narratives, the stories included here are:A Country Doctor - In the Gods - An Old Folio - Before the Law - Jackals and Arabs - A Visit to the Mine - The Next Village - An Imperial Message - A Paterfamilias Perplexed - Eleven Sons - A Fratricide - A Dream - Bucket Rider - Of Metaphors - The Silence of the Sirens - Gracchus the Hunter - The Knock on the Courtyard Door - Advocates - The Vulture - At Night - A Little Fable.This e-book has a total length of around 16,000 words.

    Life for Sarah Willcox has not been easy since her father died. It’s the late 1920s and Sarah loves her work as an apprentice in the sheds at the Staffordshire-based pottery Frenshaws. She is able to escape her miserable home life where her hateful step-father Joe abuses her mother. But there’s no escaping it completely, as Joe also works at the pottery company. When Sarah’s talent is recognized by the master potter and owner, Daniel, she is sent to Design School where she meets wealthy Annabel and they quickly become friends. But Sarah’s life is far from settled. Beneath Daniel’s dedication to work lies a deep compassion and a long-standing interest in Sarah and her family. On her fifteenth birthday, a violent tragedy sends Sarah’s life spiraling into an entirely new direction. She escapes to live with her grandmother where she learns secrets about her past and a heritage that she never knew existed. A whole life she had never imagined opens up for her, but will it come at too high a price? The Tower Room is a thoroughly moving tale about secrets, deception and new beginnings.

    The smoke-spewing, banshee-wailing, fearsome black thing hisses like a thousand cobras... and the villagers declare that this Thing is an Iron Demon—a yakada yaka.The Burghers who drive these Iron Demons have a penchant for challenging authority and courting trouble, sometimes just to liven things up in the railway outposts... and so it is that Sonnaboy and Meerwald chase a large group of villagers all across Anuradhapura, mother-naked but not much bothered by it, Ben Godlieb conjures up a corpse in his cowcatcher, Dickie Byrd single-handedly demolishes a Pentecostal Mission and is hailed as the messiah of the Railway fraternity, and Basil Van der Smaght filches a human heart and feeds it to the Nawalapitiya railway staff ...and to cap it all, Sonnaboy takes French Leave to act in The Bridge on the River Kwai!

    Fitzwilliam Darcy at Pemberley. With the help of George Wickham, events spiral out of control, leaving Darcy destitute of love for the rest of his life—until fate intervenes. What will Darcy do with his second chance? Will he be able to convince Elizabeth that he is no longer the proud man he once was? Will they ever get to “happily ever after”? And how will his changed character affect the people around him along the way?

    with a catch When Sophie’s uncle leaves her a castle in the Italian Riviera in his will, she can’t believe her luck. The catch? She and her estranged sister, Rachel, must live there together for three months in order to inherit it. Having worked in Rome for four years, Sophie’s excited to revisit to Italy, even if it reignites memories of a cheating ex who soon learns of her return and wants to rekindle their spark. Sophie realises that distance does indeed make the heart grow fonder – but for her friend back home, Chris, who she discovers is more to her than just a friend.With the clock ticking, can Sophie and Rachel stick it out and heal old wounds, or are the sisters destined to go their own way at the end of the three months? And does Chris feel the same way about Sophie as she does for him?A beautiful story of romance and sisterhood, perfect for fans of Alex Brown and Lucy Coleman.