In reality, mythology is more screwed up than a schizophrenic shaman doing hits of unidentified. Wait, it all makes sense now. In Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, Cory O’Brien, creator of Myths RETOLD!, sets the stories straight. These are rude, crude, totally sacred texts told the way they were meant to be told: loudly, and with lots of four-letter words. Skeptical? Here are just a few gems to consider: � Zeus once stuffed an unborn fetus inside his thigh to save its life after he exploded its mother by being too good in bed. � The entire Egyptian universe was saved because Sekhmet just got too hammered to keep murdering everyone. � The Hindu universe is run by a married couple who only stop murdering in order to throw sweet dance parties…on the corpses of their enemies. � The Norse goddess Freyja once consented to a four-dwarf gangbang in exchange for one shiny necklace. And there’s more dysfunctional goodness where that came from.

    They will each turn to their private journals, then compile their love story to share with the world.What Fitzwilliam Darcy presumes for a simple recitation of history becomes something completely different when he opens the box of his treasured feelings. Peek over his shoulder as he explores his deepest secrets: from the first day he met his future, as she was marrying another man, to the moment when he finally won her heart.Strangely enough, however, Elizabeth remembers their story... a little differently. Clever, light-hearted, and saucy as ever, she sets the facts straight and keeps her love on his toes as she tells how she fell for the proud gentleman from Derbyshire. Who is telling the story as it really happened? Probably neither one, but there is one thing they both agree on: Think on the past only as it gives you pleasure. Unpardonable  is a sweet Regency variation of approximately 24,000 words. Based on Jane Austen's Pride & Prejudice, it is appropriate for all audiences.

    In the bestselling tradition of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies; Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters; and Mr. Darcy, Vampyre, comes a supremely smart and wickedly fun novel that renders the beloved creator of Persuasion and Emma truly immortal—as Mullany pits a transformed Jane Austen and her vampire friends against savage hordes of invading French!

    He decides to go to the seaside. But Fate has other plans in store…From his abduction by a cheerful crook, to his smuggling escapade off the south coast, the timid but plucky Mr Finchley is plunged into a series of the most astonishing and extraordinary adventures.His rural adventure takes him gradually westward through the English countryside and back, via a smuggling yacht, to London.This gentle comedy trilogy was a runaway bestseller on first publication in the 1930s and retains a timeless appeal today. It has been dramatized twice for BBC Radio, with the 1990 series regularly repeated. What people are saying about the Mr Finchley series: ‘Wonderful character from a kinder slower England between the wars.’‘An overlooked gem. An innocent picaresque novel set in an arcadian version of mid 20th century England. The literary equivalent of naive painting, it narrates the adventures of a respectable upper middle-aged man who takes retirement.’‘An antidote to the rush of the early 21st century.’‘A thoroughly enjoyable stroll through a vanished England with some lovable characters. Don't expect modern, fashionable agonisings, here there is good, evil, and understanding. A lovely reminiscent wallow of a read.’‘Gentle well told simple story, full of pleasant surprises, and a mild mannered believable hero. Loved it to bits.’‘So gentle, it hurts.’‘There is a freshness about the writing which is charming and that disarms criticism. Don't expect any great profundities, a gripping plot or inter-character tensions - these books are of the world of Billy Bunter and William Brown - but do expect a very well-written and enjoyable romp through early twentieth-century England in the company of an engaging protagonist.’‘A delightful story of a man who finds himself jolted out of his comfort zone and taken on a journey beyond his wildest imaginings.’‘Another lovely book detailing the adventures of Mr Finchley in altogether far too short a series. Full of humour and a book I was sorry to finish as I wanted it to go on and on.’‘Highly recommended for anyone seeking an entertaining amusing read.’‘A delight to be transported to an England I never knew despite growing up in the 1950s and to experience the countryside through the sharp eyes of the author who obviously had a great love of all things rural.’ Editorial reviews: ‘Quite delightful, with an atmosphere of quiet contentment and humour that cannot fail to charm … The longer we travel with Mr Finchley, the better we come to love him. He makes us share his bread and cheese, and beer and pipe. His delight at the beauties of the countryside and his mild astonishment at the strange ways of men are infectious.’ Daily Telegraph‘His gift of story-telling is obviously innate. Rarely does one come on so satisfying an amalgam of plot, characterisation and good writing.

    From the Trojan women whose fates now lie in the hands of the Greeks, to the Amazon princess who fought Achilles on their behalf, to Penelope awaiting the return of Odysseus, to the three goddesses whose feud started it all, these are the stories of the women whose lives, loves, and rivalries were forever altered by this long and tragic war. A woman’s epic, powerfully imbued with new life, A Thousand Ships puts the women, girls and goddesses at the center of the Western world’s great tale ever told.

    These collected short stories--most of them originally published in magazines including Esquire and The Saturday Evening Post in the 1960s and 1970s, along with a new story that brings her early characters into the present--are evocative of an era that still resonates deeply today.In the title story, a bystander tries to soothe a woman who seems to have cracked under the pressures of motherhood. And in several linked stories throughout, the relationship between the narrator and her husband unfolds in telling and often hilarious vignettes. Of their time and yet timeless, Wolitzer's stories zero in on the domestic sphere and ordinary life with wit, candor, grace, and an acutely observant eye. Brilliantly capturing the tensions and contradictions of daily life, Today a Woman Went Mad in the Supermarket is full of heart and insight, providing a lens into a world that was often unseen at the time, and often overlooked now--reintroducing a beloved writer to be embraced by a whole new generation of readers.

    . . in texts?!   Imagine: What if those star-crossed lovers Romeo and Juliet had smartphones? A classic is reborn in this fun and funny adaptation of one of Shakespeare’s most famous plays!  Two families at war. A boy and a girl in love. A secret marriage gone oh-so-wrong.   and h8. The classics just got a whole lot more interesting. ;)  tl;dr A Shakespeare play told through its characters texting with emojis, checking in at certain locations, and updating their relationship statuses. The perfect gift for hip theater lovers and teens.   A glossary and cast of characters are included for those who need it. For example: tl;dr means too long; didn’t read.

    Wentworth, though well-intentioned, is a humourless, ineffective educator of the old school. Despite an unshakeable faith in his own methods, he is ill-equipped to deal with the devious vagaries of the modern schoolboy.

    Until the day they suddenly weren't.Now, ten years later, Ruby is single, having spent the last decade focusing on her demanding career and hectic life in Manhattan. There's barely time for a trip to England for her little sister's wedding. And there's certainly not time to think about what it will be like to see Ethan again, who just so happens to be the best man.But as the family frantically prepare for the big day, Ruby can't help but wonder if she made the right choice all those years ago. Because there is nothing like a wedding for stirring up the past . . .

    IBSN 0 86273 172 0This the same book listed on above IBSN but with Book Art Work

    Women must rely on their inner strength and cunning to survive the wars men wage for gold and glory.Clytemnestra of Mycenae struggles for control of her life after Agamemnon ruthlessly rips it apart. Leda of Sparta survives a brutal assault by Zeus, shouldering a terrible secret in silence. Penelope raises Ithaka’s sole heir alone, praying for Odysseus’ swift return. Thetis, the sea nymph, despairs of her son’s destiny and resorts to forbidden magic to save him. Hecuba of Troy mourns the loss of her second son to a dark prophesy. And Shavash of Pedasus prepares her daughter to marry the greatest warrior who ever lived.In a world where love leads to war and duty leads to destruction, the iron hearts of heroines will conquer all.Sing, Muse, sing their song of sacrifice...Replaces Song of Princes as the first book in the Homeric Chronicles.

    He’s a snooty Exeter transfer with more money than Google. She’s a driven study-a-holic just barely keeping up with tuition. It’s obvious that Dante thinks he’s way too good for Lizzie. And Lizzie knows Dante is a snob with a gift for pressing her buttons.But things are changing fast this year at the Academy. And when Lizzie’s quest to stop those changes blows up in her face, taking her oldest friendship with it, she has nowhere else to turn but to Dante, with his killer blue eyes, his crazy-sexy smile, and his secrets… Secrets Lizzie can’t seem to leave alone, no matter how hard she tries…* * *The last thing that the girls at the elite Jane Austen Academy need is hot guys to flirt with. But over the summer the school has been sold, and like it or not, the guys are coming. And it’s about to turn the Academy—and the lives of its students—totally upside down…The Jane Austen Academy series are modern retellings of Jane Austen classics set at a beachside California boarding school. Don't miss the rest of the Jane Austen Academy series, where sassy girls, hot guys and Jane Austen collide!

    Alexander Fitzwilliam Darcy is the spitting image of his father—in looks, temperament, and his inability to impress a woman not particularly wanting to be impressed. Darcy, against the loving advice of his intelligent wife, decides to help his son along. In the process, the forever kind of love our dear couple has for each other is displayed as tenderness meets stubbornness and affection meets determination. Come along for the bumpy ride between Darcy & Elizabeth as love blooms at Pemberley—or does it? A Forever Kind of Love is appropriate for all readers. This story can be read in about an hour and is just over 100 pages in length.

    Now it's home to a few distant relatives and their diminishing estate. With the last bit of Austen's legacy threatened, a group of disparate individuals come together to preserve both Jane Austen's home and her legacy. These people—a laborer, a young widow, the local doctor, and a movie star, among others—could not be more different and yet they are united in their love for the works and words of Austen. As each of them endures their own quiet struggle with loss and trauma, some from the recent war, others from more distant tragedies, they rally together to create the Jane Austen Society.

    Lack of rain was turning the plains of Iowa, Kansas, and Idaho into arid blocks of parched earth. In the North, it was already January, and no sign of snow. All over the world, the seas were shrinking, and creeks and rivers looked like dried scars. But for Pete, the terrified son of a midwestern farming family, the first great omen came one unseasonably warm winter night when the moon simply vanished from a cloudless sky, and the clocks stopped.Soon, Pete’s family farm becomes a prison as a strange sulfurous fog rolls across the land. In its wake, poisonous and mindful weeds grow wild, choking to death anything—and anyone—within reach. The only sign of life on the streets is a relentless army of scorpions with a sting that kills. But when the government finally moves in, it’s not to protect; it’s for a reason far more deadly and absolute than anyone can imagine. Now, Earth’s survivors face something even more frightful than nature: the evil of men.