My Big Fat Teen Crisis


Jenny Smith - 2012
    Sam doesn't seem to fit in anywhere. The gorgeous new boy at school won't be interested unless she has an image overhaul. But as Sam experiments with new clothes and new friends, she finds herself more lost than ever!

An Altogether New Book of Top Ten Lists from Late Night With David Letterman


David Letterman - 1991
    Can sit naked in front of book without fear of radiation 9. Reader not distracted by Dave's awful haircut 8. Can be readily enjoyed in Amish households 7. If you fall asleep while reading the book you won't wake up to fat weather guy wishing Happy Birthday to one hundred-year-olds 6. Can use your imagination to picture lists being read aloud by handsome actor George Peppard 5. Origami! Origami! Origami! 4. Can be enjoyed by inmates who have lost their TV privileges 3. Carrying book around proudly announces to rest of world, "I can read large print!" 2. Easier to shoplift than 26-inch Trinitron Stereo Sony 1. Any book is better than Dave's TV show

Secrets in Prior's Ford


Eve Houston - 2008
    It will be disruptive, noisy, and dusty, despite bringing in some new jobs. Publican Glen organizes a protest group, but when the local newspaper takes an interest in him and the story, he starts to feel nervous. When Jenny Forsyth attends a protest meeting and sees the quarry surveyor she discovers a ghost from her past that she would rather keep to herself. Clarissa Ramsay, newly widowed, is too preoccupied to care much about the new threat facing the village—she has just discovered her husband's secret life, and has resolved to make some radical changes to her own.

Make it, Bake it, Sew it, or Grow it.: The craft of homemaking with no money


Kate Singh - 2019
    We are in an age of abundance, overspending, mass consumerism, Dollar Tree hauls, and poor food choices. We have storage units for all our "stuff" and we are over our heads in debt and soaking in stress. This book is short but filled with inspiration and tips to overhaul the families lifestyle to one of simple, humble living, and sustainability. This is the way we live debt free and under one very small paycheck for a family of four. We live like middle class although by the government charts we are just above the poverty line. Ha! How silly. We eat organics, drink good coffee and dress well, living in a charming cottage and drive fairly attractive cars. We are happy, healthy and thriving. How do we live well on so little? I stay home to tend to the family, cook almost everything from scratch, and my front and back yards are now kitchen gardens. Brew up some coffee and come join me to see just how this lady does it.

Everyone Left Behind: 4 minutes to chaos


Time Day - 2014
    He just wanted to retire in peace. Change descended when he accidentally shot a Peeping Tom. Though he buried him on his remote Montana property, he couldn't bury the man's curse. Haunted by it, and about to be found out, he sent up a desperate prayer. That night he had a strange dream. Priscilla's interpretation of the dream was to stockpile enough food to look after seventy people for five years because perilous times were surely coming . . .

The Novels of P.G. Wodehouse


P.G. Wodehouse - 2009
    Austin's 1903Three Men and a Maid 1922Uneasy Money 1917The White Feather 1907A Wodehouse Miscellany, Articles & Stories 1916

Blue Moon Investigations: Boxed Set Part 2


Steve Higgs - 2019
     They say everyone has a skeleton in their closet, but why are so many of them coming to life? Tempest and Amanda work at the only paranormal detective agency in the book and business is booming. This second box set gives you over 1000 pages of pulse-pounding hilarious paranormal mayhem as they get themselves into yet more hot water solving cases no one else would be dumb enough to take. Dead Pirates of Cawsand – A ghost ship has been spotted off the coast of a quiet Cornish village where gold coins were recently found. Now skeletal pirates are wandering the streets, hiding in the mist to strike fear into the local community because they want their gold back. But they didn’t count on England’s best paranormal P.I. turning up. His well-earned break soon goes sideways as murder, kidnap, and ghost hunters ruin his vacation and threaten more than just his life. In the Doodoo with Voodoo – A client cursed by a voodoo priest is the start of a case that will push Amanda to her very limits. With Tempest away in Cornwall, Amanda has no back up, but she wants to do this for herself even though the priest is a scary character. However, when BFF Patience goes missing, it’s a race against time to solve the case before someone dies and she is about to find out just how badly she underestimated her suspect. The Witches of East Malling – There’s a storm brewing. It’s late Autumn in England, but the wet weather is hiding a dark crime – witches using lighting to kill! Hired to investigate, Tempest soon becomes a target himself when he comes face to face with a witch and she knows who and what he is. Is he closing in on the coven, or are they closing in on him? The deadly conclusion with leave you breathless. Crop Circles, Cows, and Crazy Aliens – Aliens? Really? There are lights in the sky, crop circles in the fields and the cows are producing glowing milk. It’s Amanda’s case, and seems a simple one until the first body shows up. Suddenly she has a mystery person leaving her clues, an internet star trying to help her investigation and conspiracy nuts raining from the sky. Is this the first wave of an alien invasion, or something far worse? Whispers in the Rigging – His dad reported stories of a ghost in the old Royal Dockyard, but that’s not why Tempest is going undercover. He’s there because his dad was found unconscious in a dumpster when he tried to poke around. Now Tempest must find out what is going on, but all too soon he realises there’s something beneath the dockyard that is much worse than ghosts. The paranormal? It’s all nonsense, but proving might just get them killed.

Long Time Leaving: Dispatches from Up South


Roy Blount Jr. - 2007
    I'm pro-choice, in favor of gay marriage, and against creationism and the war in Iraq. But both my parents' people are deep Southern from many generations, and I spent a little over a third of my life, including the presumably most formative years (toilet training through college), living in the South. Mathematically, that makes me just about exactly as Southern as the American people, 34 percent of whom are Southern residents. But it goes deeper than math--my roots are Southern, I sound Southern, I love a lot of Southern stuff, and when my [Northern] local paper announces a festival to 'celebrate the spirit of differently abled dogs, ' I react as a Southerner. I believe I care as much about dogs' feelings as anybody. It is hard for me to imagine that a dog with three legs minds being called a three-legged dog." A sly, dry, hilarious collection of essays--his first in more than ten years--from the writer who, according to "The New York Times Book Review," is "in serious contention for the title of America's most cherished humorist." This time Blount focuses on his own dueling loyalties across the great American divide, North vs. South. Scholarly, raunchy, biting and affable, ol' Roy takes on topics ranging from chicken fingers to yellow-dog Democrats to Elvis's toes. And he shares experiences: chatting with Ray Charles, rounding up rattlesnakes, watching George and Tammy record, meeting an Okefenokee alligator (also named George, or Georgette), imagining Faulkner's tennis game, and being swept up, sort of, in the filming of "Nashville." His yarns, analyses, and flights of fancy transcend all standard shades of Red, Blue, and in between. Roy on language: "Remember when there was lots of agitated discussion of Ebonics, pro and con? I kept waiting for someone to say that if you acquire white English, you can become Clarence Thomas, whereas if you acquire black English, you can become Quentin Tarantino." Roy on eating: "The way folks were meant to eat is the way my family ate when I was growing up in Georgia. We ate till we got "tired." Then we went "Whoo!" and leaned back and wholeheartedly expressed how much we regretted that we couldn't summon up the strength, right then, to eat some more." Roy on racism: "Anybody who claims . . . not to have 'a racist bone' in his or her body is, at best, "pre"racist and has a longer way to go than the rest of us." Blount's previous books have included reflections on a Southern president (Jimmy Carter), a novel about a Southern president (Clementine Fox), a biography of Robert E. Lee, a celebration of New Orleans, a memoir of growing up in Georgia, and the definitive anthology of Southern humor. "Long Time Leaving" is the capper. Maybe it won't end the Civil War at last, but it does clarify, or aptly complicate, divisive delusions on both sides of the longstanding national rift. It's a comic ode to American variety and also a droll assault on complacency North and South--a glorious union of diverse pieces reshaped and expanded into an American classic, from one of the most definitive and esteemed humorists of our time.

Teen Titans Go!, Volume 2: Heroes on Patrol


J. Torres - 2004
    From the top-rated show on Warner Bros.' Cartoon Network, the newest additions to DC Comics' roster of animated heroes make their debut in two new digest-sized paperbacks Capturing all of the action and fun of the Cartoon Network series, these volumes showcase a multitude of adventures for Robin, Beast Boy, Raven, Cyborg and Starfire as they face some of their greatest foes.

Stay Away from my ER and other fun bits of wisdom: Wobbling between humor and heartbreak


Rada Jones - 2020
    You can’t fathom the weirdness– unless you’re one of the ER aliens. If you are, buy a dozen copies to give away: to your family, your neighbors, and the PTA. They’ll learn things you never had the heart to tell them, but they should know, like how it's like to work in the ER, the deviousness of shampoo bottles and the dangers of frying bacon naked.

Ridiculous Customer Complaints (and other statements)


David Loman - 2014
    In this book I have set out prove that statement is completely untrue and in fact with customers like these then maybe the opposite could be said. So sit back, grab your self a drink perhaps an alcoholic one if you feel that way inclined and enjoy some of the strangest, ridiculous and most outrageous complaints and statements from all walks of life. The second volume is out now and is much longer and in my opinion even better than the first, though i would say that.

Confessions of a Pretty Lady: Stories True and Otherwise


Sandra Bernhard - 1988
    8 pages of illustrations.

Monty Python's Spamalot: 2005 Tony Award Winner - Best Musical


Eric Idle - 2005
    Vocal selections from the uproarious Broadway production that won the Tony Award for Best Musical in 2005. Songs include: All for One * Always Look on the Bright Side of Life * Brave Sir Robin * Come with Me * Find Your Grail * Fisch Schlapping Dance * He Is Not Dead Yet * His Name Is Lancelot * I'm All Alone * King Arthur's Song * Knights of the Round Table * Laker Girls Cheer * Monks Chant * Run Away! * The Song That Goes Like This * Whatever Happened to My Part? * Where Are You? * You Won't Succeed on Broadway. Includes five pages of color photos.

101 foolproof jokes to use in case of emergency


Adam Kisiel - 2012
    Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results."I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left.""Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "Give it to me straight, Doc. How long have I got?""Ten," the doctor says sadly."Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!""Nine..."

Minus Nine to One: The Diary of an Honest Mum


Jools Oliver - 2006
    Having longed for children since before she can remember, she was suddenly faced with an array of unfamiliar, unexpected and sometimes downright embarrassing emotional and physical reactions. And when Poppy (and a year later Daisy) was born she had to learn a whole new set of skills.From trying to conceive and a first positive pregnancy test to Poppy's first birthday, Minus Nine To One takes you through the worries, surprises, excitement, miracles and sheer bloody hard work that Jools - and all new mums in their own different ways - have to cope with along the way. As Jools writes, 'This certainly isn't meant to be read as a guidebook, or a medical reference book - it is simply my story and I hope that you can relate to it in some way (and maybe even relax with it in the bath!).'Down to earth, personal and very, very funny, this is the book no aspiring mother will want to be without.