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Nothing Left to Prove
Danny R. Smith - 2021
County Sheriff’s detective Danny R. Smith put his life on the line for twenty-one years. His career covered some of L.A.’s darkest hours: a crack cocaine epidemic, unprecedented gang warfare, a spike in homicides that stunned the nation, flames lighting the skies while gunfire rang through the nights during the Rodney King riots. There were deadly encounters: fights, pursuits, shootings, and a beating that left him unconscious. A confrontation with a murderous gangster in a dark alley, where only the miraculous malfunction of a fully automatic weapon saved his life. Hardened by the years spent on the streets and the hundreds of deaths and untold numbers of tragedies he would witness, Smith’s frustrations with a dysfunctional system weighed heavily, and his continued pledge to see justice for the victims came at an astronomical personal cost.In this no-holds-barred memoir, Smith reveals the shocking imagery of fallen colleagues, murdered children, gang warfare, and a Native American who was tortured and burned alive by skinheads. And through his unique insights battling PTSD and being forced to leave the profession he loved, his story will offer new insight into the aftermath of working in law enforcement.Nothing Left to Prove is by turns shocking, terrifying, poignant, and thought-provoking. It’s the very personal story of one man’s career and its effect on his life afterwards, unveiled through Smith’s masterful storytelling. If you think you know cops, if you love compelling true-crime stories, then you’ll love Danny R. Smith’s powerful narrative.
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
Jean-Dominique Bauby - 1997
In my case, blinking my left eyelid is my only means of communication.’In December 1995, Jean-Dominique Bauby, editor-in-chief of French ‘Elle’ and the father of two young children, suffered a massive stroke and found himself paralysed and speechless, but entirely conscious, trapped by what doctors call ‘locked-in syndrome’. Using his only functioning muscle – his left eyelid – he began dictating this remarkable story, painstakingly spelling it out letter by letter.His book offers a haunting, harrowing look inside the cruel prison of locked-in syndrome, but it is also a triumph of the human spirit.
Speed Girl
Stephan Talty - 2017
In the sports world, Billie Jean King is breaking gender barriers on the tennis court. Janet Guthrie doesn’t consider herself a “women’s libber,” but to racing’s good ol’ boys, she’s a threat. When Guthrie makes a bid for Indy in 1976, the other drivers slam her mercilessly, even suggesting she’s really a man. Fans heckle her, hoping she’ll crash. Guthrie smiles through the pain and qualifies for Indy in 1978. And even a broken wrist and a rift on her team can’t derail her—she finishes in the top ten.Bestselling author Stephan Talty’s riveting biography brings Guthrie’s passion and persistence vividly to life. With gripping realism, Speed Girl immerses readers in the untold story of the woman who came to Indy a racer and left a trailblazer.
Making Payments: An American Indian, the Vietnam War, Laos, and the Hmong
John Oventile - 2012
But this wasn’t science fiction; this was a journey of harsh reality, pain, hunger, danger, and death. George Downwind, an American Indian, an Ojibwa, grew up in the isolation of a twentieth-century reservation. But instead of succumbing to the alcoholism and hopelessness around him, his outlook was shaped by the myths and legends of an earlier time. From countless stories told by old men around campfires, he thought he knew what life had been like for his people in the time before the white man. In his imagination he lived this life, passed the tests of manhood and tasted battle. When the end came he experienced the depression of watching his people be defeated and disintegrate as a culture. To the west of the battlefields in Vietnam during the 1960’s and early ‘70’s, across the border in the neutral country of Laos, another war raged. This war was seldom mentioned in the news and when it was, it was referred to as the “Secret War.” Few people heard of it and fewer still knew who was doing the fighting. It was the Hmong, a minority ethnic group who had survived for a thousand years in their mountain sanctuaries through slash and burn agriculture, and a resolute adherence to their culture. They valued freedom, family, and wanted nothing more than to be left alone. They were a primitive people without a written language living in a primitive land. And, just as with the American Indian tribes, each of the Hmong clans had their own approach to survival. Some fought, some forged alliances, and other just tried to say out of the way. Grievously injured in the chaos of battle in Vietnam in the early days of that war, George Downwind, a private in the U.S. Army, was rescued from certain death and nursed back to heath by one of these clans. During his time with them he experienced the full brutality of the life they lived—the same life that had been the fate of his ancestors. When it came time for him to leave Laos and the Hmong, he had a debt to repay. He owed his life to the Hmong and vowed to make the payments.
Stolen: A Memoir
Elizabeth Gilpin - 2021
Growing angrier by the day, she began skipping practices and drinking to excess. At a loss, her parents turned to an educational consultant who suggested Elizabeth be enrolled in a behavioral modification program. That recommendation would change her life forever.The nightmare began when she was abducted from her bed in the middle of the night by hired professionals and dropped off deep into a camp in the woods of AppalachiaAfter three brutal months, Elizabeth was transferred to a boarding school in Southern Virginia that in reality functioned more like a prison. Its curriculum revolved around a perverse form of group therapy where students were psychologically abused and humiliated. Finally, at seventeen, Elizabeth convinced them she was rehabilitated enough to “graduate” and was released. In this eye-opening and unflinching book, Elizabeth recalls the horrors she endured, the friends she lost to suicide and addiction, and—years later—how she was finally able to pick up the pieces of her life and reclaim her identity.
Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's
John Elder Robison - 2007
It was no wonder he gravitated to machines, which could, at least, be counted on.After fleeing his parents and dropping out of high school, his savant-like ability to visualize electronic circuits landed him a gig with KISS, for whom he created their legendary fire-breathing guitars. Later, he drifted into a “real” job, as an engineer for a major toy company. But the higher Robison rose in the company, the more he had to pretend to be “normal” and do what he simply couldn’t: communicate. It wasn’t worth the paycheck.It was not until he was forty that an insightful therapist told him he had the form of autism called Asperger’s syndrome. That understanding transformed the way Robison saw himself—and the world.Look Me in the Eye is the moving, darkly funny story of growing up with Asperger’s at a time when the diagnosis simply didn’t exist. A born storyteller, Robison takes you inside the head of a boy whom teachers and other adults regarded as “defective,” who could not avail himself of KISS’s endless supply of groupies, and who still has a peculiar aversion to using people’s given names (he calls his wife “Unit Two”). He also provides a fascinating reverse angle on the younger brother he left at the mercy of their nutty parents—the boy who would later change his name to Augusten Burroughs and write the bestselling memoir Running with Scissors.Ultimately, this is the story of Robison’s journey from his world into ours, and his new life as a husband, father, and successful small business owner—repairing his beloved high-end automobiles. It’s a strange, sly, indelible account—sometimes alien, yet always deeply human.
The Only Girl in the World
Maude Julien - 2014
His plan began when he adopted Maude’s mother and indoctrinated her with his esoteric ideals. Her mission was to give him a daughter as blonde as she was, and then to take charge of the child’s education. That child was Maude, on whom her father conducted his outrageous experiment—to raise the perfect ‘super-human’ being.The three lived in an isolated mansion in northern France, where her father made her undergo endless horrifying endurance tests. Maude had to hold an electric fence without flinching. Her parents locked her in a cellar overnight and ordered her to sit still on a stool in the dark, contemplating death, while rats scurried around her feet.How did this girl, with her loveless and lonely childhood, emerge so unscathed, so full of the empathy that was absent in her childhood? How did she manage to escape?Maude was sustained by her love of nature and animals and her passion for literature. In writing this memoir, Maude Julien shows that it is possible to overcome severe trauma. She recounts her chilling and deeply moving story in a compelling and compassionate voice.
Lucky Man
Michael J. Fox - 2002
Fox stunned the world by announcing he had been diagnosed with Parkinson's disease -- a degenerative neurological condition. In fact, he had been secretly fighting it for seven years. The worldwide response was staggering. Fortunately, he had accepted the diagnosis, and by the time the public started grieving for him, he had stopped grieving for himself. Now, with the same passion, humor, and energy, that Fox has invested in his dozens of performances over the last 18 years, he tells the story of his life, his career, and his campaign, to find a cure for Parkinson's.Combining his trademark ironic sensibility, and keen sense of the absurd, he recounts his life -- from his childhood in a small town in western Canada, to his meteoric rise in film and television which made him a worldwide celebrity. Most importantly however, he writes of the last 10 years, during which -- with the unswerving support of his wife, family, and friends -- he has dealt with his illness. He talks about what Parkinson's has given him: the chance to appreciate a wonderful life and career, and the opportunity to help search for a cure, and spread public awareness of the disease. He is a very lucky man, indeed.
A Breast Cancer Alphabet
Madhulika Sikka - 2014
A definitive and approachable guide to life during, and after, breast cancer The biggest risk factor for breast cancer is simply being a woman. Madhulika Sikka's A Breast Cancer Alphabet offers a new way to live with and plan past the hardest diagnosis that most women will ever receive: a personal, practical, and deeply informative look at the road from diagnosis to treatment and beyond.What Madhulika Sikka didn't foresee when initially diagnosed, and what this book brings to life so vividly, are the unexpected and minute challenges that make navigating the world of breast cancer all the trickier. A Breast Cancer Alphabet is an inspired reaction to what started as a personal predicament.This A-Z guide to living with breast cancer goes where so many fear to tread: sex (S is for Sex - really?), sentimentality (J is for Journey - it's a cliché we need to dispense with), hair (H is for Hair - yes, you can make a federal case of it) and work (Q is for Quitting - there'll be days when you feel like it). She draws an easy-to-follow, and quite memorable, map of her travels from breast cancer neophyte to seasoned veteran.As a prominent news executive, Madhulika had access to the most cutting edge data on the disease's reach and impact. At the same time, she craved the community of frank talk and personal insight that we rely on in life's toughest moments. This wonderfully inventive book navigates the world of science and story, bringing readers into Madhulika's mind and experience in a way that demystifies breast cancer and offers new hope for those living with it.
Apotheosis Now: Rabbit Hole to the Beyond
Yanhao Huang - 2021
Because externally, we are always trying to control what is “not me,” and internally, we always get perplexed trying to figure out whether our actions came from our “higher” or “lower” self. As Albert Einstein said: “We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”This book will help you to understand:Why we have internal conflictsHow does our ego trap us in undesirable circumstancesHow do our beliefs limit usWhy thought-based teachings (Law of Attraction), or self-improvement advice don’t workHow do we really get what we wantWhy is happiness so rare for usWho we are reallyWhat is the nature of existenceWhat is the meaning of lifeHow do we know if there is a GodWhat is the process of spiritual enlightenmentMany of us are starting to become tired of this game of life. We have been comparing and striving all our life. But no matter how much success we have achieved—we are still hollow and still have found nothing fulfilling. We don’t even know if happiness exists because it is no longer a living thing in our experience—it has become dead, as we only know it as a concept or memory.We have sought self-help advice, philosophies, and religious teachings to transform ourselves but have not gotten anywhere. We have made some superficial improvements—like adopting a new mindset—but our core remains the same. We are still competitive, still fearful, and we get disturbed all the time.The problem with all attempts at self-improvement is that we do not address the fundamental problem, which is: who is the “you” who needs to be improved? We do not see that the one who is making the improvement is the same one who needs to be improved. The more we try to improve, the more conflict we introduce, within and without. The more knowledge we stuff in our heads, the more we become trapped in a conceptual prison of reality. Inevitably, the more confused we get in life.The book guides the reader out of their distorted beliefs to experience reality beyond the mind. When the deeper intelligence is allowed to flourish without our mind's interference, then the game of life becomes effortless.
Between Two Kingdoms: A Memoir of a Life Interrupted
Suleika Jaouad - 2021
She had fallen in love and moved to Paris to pursue her dream of becoming a war correspondent. The real world she found, however, would take her into a very different kind of conflict zone.It started with an itch—first on her feet, then up her legs, like a thousand invisible mosquito bites. Next came the exhaustion, and the six-hour naps that only deepened her fatigue. Then a trip to the doctor and, a few weeks shy of her twenty-third birthday, a diagnosis: leukemia, with a 35 percent chance of survival. Just like that, the life she had imagined for herself had gone up in flames. By the time Jaouad flew home to New York, she had lost her job, her apartment, and her independence. She would spend much of the next four years in a hospital bed, fighting for her life and chronicling the saga in a column for The New York Times.When Jaouad finally walked out of the cancer ward—after three and a half years of chemo, a clinical trial, and a bone marrow transplant—she was, according to the doctors, cured. But as she would soon learn, a cure is not where the work of healing ends; it’s where it begins. She had spent the past 1,500 days in desperate pursuit of one goal—to survive. And now that she’d done so, she realized that she had no idea how to live.How would she reenter the world and live again? How could she reclaim what had been lost? Jaouad embarked—with her new best friend, Oscar, a scruffy terrier mutt—on a 100-day, 15,000-mile road trip across the country. She set out to meet some of the strangers who had written to her during her years in the hospital: a teenage girl in Florida also recovering from cancer; a teacher in California grieving the death of her son; a death-row inmate in Texas who’d spent his own years confined to a room. What she learned on this trip is that the divide between sick and well is porous, that the vast majority of us will travel back and forth between these realms throughout our lives. Between Two Kingdoms is a profound chronicle of survivorship and a fierce, tender, and inspiring exploration of what it means to begin again.
Welcome to the United States of Anxiety: Observations from a Reforming Neurotic
Jen Lancaster - 2020
We’re judged by social media’s faceless masses, pressured into maintaining a Pinterest-perfect home, and expected to base our self-worth on retweets, faves, likes, and followers. Our collective FOMO, and the disparity between the ideal and reality, is leading us to spend more and feel worse. No wonder we’re getting twitchy. Save for an Independence Day–style alien invasion, how do we begin to escape from the stressors that make up our days?Jen Lancaster is here to take a hard look at our elevating anxieties, and with self-deprecating wit and levelheaded wisdom, she charts a path out of the quagmire that keeps us frightened of the future and ashamed of our imperfectly perfect human lives. Take a deep breath, and her advice, and you just might get through a holiday dinner without wanting to disown your uncle.
The Clancys of Queens: A Memoir
Tara Clancy - 2016
This childhood triptych comes to life in The Clancys of Queens, an electric, one-of-a-kind memoir. From scheming and gambling with her force-of-nature grandmother, to brawling with eleven-year-old girls on the concrete recess battle yard of MS 172, to hours lounging on Adirondack chairs beside an immaculate croquet lawn, to holding court beside Joey O’Dirt, Goiter Eddy, and Roger the Dodger at her Dad’s local bar, Tara leapfrogs across these varied spheres, delivering stories from each world with originality, grit, and outrageous humor. But The Clancys of Queens is not merely an authentic coming-of-age tale or a rowdy barstool biography. Chock-full of characters who escape the popular imaginings of this city, it offers a bold portrait of real people, people whose stories are largely absent from our shelves. Most crucially, it captures—in inimitable prose—the rarely-heard voices of New York’s working-class women. With a light touch but a hard hit, The Clancys of Queens blends savvy and wit to take us on an unforgettable strata-hopping adventure.
Dark Secret: The Complete Story: The True Account of What Happened to Little Alex Suleski
Nyssa Rebecca Corbin - 2018
From military stationed at the nearby base to the local police department and many civilian residents who never even knew the girl or her family - the effort put forth to find her is immense. But, when the FBI get involved, the missing girl's case takes a different turn. Only three people know what really happened to the little girl. Will any of them talk? Will there ever be justice for little Alex Suleski? Includes a first hand account from a witness to the entire case, as well as court transcripts and wire tape transcriptions. * Updated version with the latest information on the case. (2018)
The Shaking Woman, or A History of My Nerves
Siri Hustvedt - 2009
Despite her flapping arms and shaking legs, she continued to speak clearly and was able to finish her speech. It was as if she had suddenly become two people: a calm orator and a shuddering wreck. Then the seizures happened again and again. The Shaking Woman tracks Hustvedt’s search for a diagnosis, one that takes her inside the thought processes of several scientific disciplines, each one of which offers a distinct perspective on her paroxysms but no ready solution. In the process, she finds herself entangled in fundamental questions: What is the relationship between brain and mind? How do we remember? What is the self?During her investigations, Hustvedt joins a discussion group in which neurologists, psychiatrists, psychoanalysts, and brain scientists trade ideas to develop a new field: neuropsychoanalysis. She volunteers as a writing teacher for psychiatric in-patients at the Payne Whitney clinic in New York City and unearths precedents in medical history that illuminate the origins of and shifts in our theories about the mind-body problem. In The Shaking Woman, Hustvedt synthesizes her experience and research into a compelling mystery: Who is the shaking woman? In the end, the story she tells becomes, in the words of George Makari, author of Revolution in Mind, “a brilliant illumination for us all.”