Will Dipper and Mabel's summer be ruined? Find out in this fan novel as well as Mystery #1, The Axolotl, a demon who wants to revive Bill Cipher!

    And when Lady Peculiar’s butler – a part-time comedian – is found drowned in his own mango chutney, Detective Inspector Clinton Trump comes blundering onto the scene – ready to shun logic, breach protocol and trust in his own gut instincts. What will South East England’s greatest detective uncover? Is her ladyship a murderess? Was the killer a comedy rival? Or are darker forces at work in this particular corner of Brokenshire? Join our self-proclaimed British detective genius, as he races against time to solve this very funny murder mystery – so he can play golf at the weekend! The first novel in the ‘Clinton Trump Detective Genius’ series This riotous English detective spoof is murderously good fun from first page to last, as Inspector Trump and his unwanted sidekick, Constable Dinkel, encounter a procession of crazy comedy characters in the Great British countryside. Stuffed solid with British humour (or ‘humor’, if you’re one of the many American tourists who visit Upper Goosing), its mix of black comedy, British farce, funny one-liners and downright silliness is guaranteed to generate tremendous titters across the very civilised world.More amateur sleuth than professional investigator, Clinton Trump will bring a smile to your face like no other Trump has before, or probably ever will. So, jump aboard the Trump detection train, blow your Clinton trumpet and join the movement – Make Murder-Mystery Great Again! A Word from Detective Inspector Clinton Trump: “Greetings from Upper Goosing – the murder capital of Europe. You’ll find the scenery, tea rooms and cake shops are well worth the risk of a premature, grisly death. But before purchasing this novel, please note that it only employs British English, as spoken by Her Majesty the Queen. I don’t want anyone griping about me saying ‘per cent’ instead of ‘percent’, ‘metre’ instead of ‘meter’ or ‘tea’ instead of ‘coffee’. If you must grumble, please do as the English do and complain only to yourself. And if you’re planning on enjoying a cup of Earl Grey with this quality e-book, please remember: it’s tea first, milk second. Finally, don’t be afraid to laugh thunderously when reading this novel. Just don’t laugh yourself to death – we have enough fatalities around here as it is. Thank you.”

    But what Bodie lacks in terror, he makes up for in mischief. Silly and suspenseful adventures await just beyond his bridge!

    Because even though it sounds like you're calling your friend a weirdo, this book is in fact a wonderfully astute and affectionate look at the female psyche, and perfect for any girl with a sense of humor (and a desire to know what boys think of girls). With his unique Homer-Simpson-channeled-through-Jessica-Simpson sensibility, Todd Harris Goldman—that Todd Harris Goldman, the funny, crude, un-PC, very savvy author of Boys Are Stupid, Throw Rocks at Them!—explains why boys think the opposite sex is weird. Narrated by a boy who's sort of a moron, it questions all the things that are completely alien to boys, but with a surprisingly sweet insight and great good spirit. Waxing vs. shaving. The color pink. Shoe obsessions. The everyday dilemma: "Does this dress make me look fat?" The appeal of tiny little dogs. Fake boobs. The mysteries of PMS. In the end he can only conclude that girls are weirdos and leave it at that—a conclusion that girls will not only understand but own up to proudly.

    In the seventy years since, his wit (and the occasional ‘gaffe’) has continued to endear him to the nation, as he travelled the world taking his unique and charmingly British sense of humour to its far-flung corners. Hailed as a god by a tribe in Vanuatu, the Prince has had his fair share of brickbats from the media nearer home, but his outspokenness never fails to raise laughs – and eyebrows.From notorious one-liners to less newsworthy witticisms and from plain speaking to blunt indifference, the Prince does what we all wish we could do now and again – forgets polite conversation and says what he thinks. In the year in which the Prince has stepped down from his royal duties, this joyous and timely book celebrates his wry humour and supremely wicked wit.

    Follow along the 'The Noob Years' of Skeleton Steve, Minecraft writer and adventurer, back when he first started his travels on Diamodia! Fresh out of the "Enderman Ninja" series, Skeleton Steve and Elias the Enderman Ninja are traveling east to explore a distant village on the Enderman's map. The village's library is a great place to find an empty journal for Skeleton Steve's first diary, right?? But when the village turns out to be a zombie village, what manner of trouble will the two adventurers run into? And when a mysterious baby zombie offers to give Skeleton Steve the library's last empty book in exchange for finding his missing tome about the "Knight's Code", will Elias and the memory-challenged skeleton be up to the task? Love Minecraft adventure?? Read Season 1, Episode 1 of Skeleton Steve, The Noob Years ... now! Join the Skeleton Steve Club! Check out my main website for details--it's in the book! (Get free Minecraft goodies, tips, books, maps, skins, seeds, and more!) Author's Note: This is an unofficial Minecraft book. Minecraft is a registered trademark of, and owned by, Mojang AB, and its respective owners, which do not approve, endorse, sponsor, or authorize this book. Minecraft®/TM & © 2009-2016 Mojang AB/Notch *** Tags: Minecraft Book, game fiction, Minecraft Books for Kids and Teens, minecraft games, game stories, game books, game story books, minecraft tips, minecraft secrets handbook, Minecraft Stories, kids books, minecraft free, minecraft xbox, minecraft story mode, minecraft handbook free, minecraft creepypasta, minecraft diary of a wimpy, game fanfiction, minecraft game, minecraft story book, Minecraft Steve series, minecraft journal book, minecraft comics, free kids books, Minecraft Kids Book, minecraft books for kids, Minecraft Villagers, Minecraft Creeper, herobrine, Minecraft Skeleton Steve, minecraftales, minecraft fanfiction, minecraft diaries, minecraft tales, minecraft short stories, minecraft gift, minecraft short story.

     Barry Sullivan is a sordid dentist who resorts to blackmail to keep his string of married women compliant. But now Cullen has toothache - and a very different interpretation of the dental code of practice. The Tartan Hiaasen strikes again with another tale which roars along - and which will have you roaring along with it. This laugh-out-loud novella is a prequel to the highly entertaining CULLEN series of full-length novels.

    Before long, the crooks behind a fake bat-creature will come face to face with the real thing… with the good guys caught in the middle!

    He talks to the models, he reads hundreds of filthy readers' letters, he organises the photoshoots and even gets to direct the action. He has, according to his non-porn friends, "the best job in the world". But Godfrey Bishop has a problem. Godfrey Bishop is going through the sex drought to end all sex droughts. He hasn't been with a woman in over a year and this knee-twisting frustration is magnified a hundred times by his daily grind. He feels like Billy Bunter put in charge of the cake shop, only to have the Atkins diet forced upon him at gun point. Chuck into the mix a twelve girl orgy, a stable of alcoholic co-workers, an angry argumentative feminist, a naked run from justice and an obsessive nutty reader who thinks Godfrey is trying to scupper his chances of marrying the magazine's centre-spread girl and you have Danny King's filthiest and funniest novel yet – according to the back of the book. Godfrey Bishop has "the best job in the world" – and it's doing his f*cking head in.

    The madcap action-horror story of the world's toughest former pro-basketball player returning home with his daughter to learn about his destiny and his mother's mysterious past, while—right next door— Dracula and his goons are on the eve of their bloodiest holiday.

    The economy is collapsing, his health is failing, and around his hometown of Broughty Ferry, Bob is struggling to get the respect he deserves. Fortunately his email junk folder is bursting with offers of assistance from around the world. In these genuine emails, Bob Servant looks to the Internet's worst con merchants and charlatans for answers to his many woes. The author of the bestselling Delete This At Your Peril and the critically acclaimed Radio 4 series The Bob Servant Emails is back with an all-new compilation of emails targeting a fresh batch of email spammers—the false lenders who have bravely stepped into the credit crunch, supposed doctors offering expensive treatments for Bob's ailments, and fake foreign soldiers offering him military advice in his campaign against a local bowling club. They all find a man from Broughty Ferry who is ready and willing to give them his valuable time.

    It’s about how bringing up kids can be a tough business, but we’re all going through the same things, and it’s easier if we can have a good laugh about it. The book covers a range of themes relevant to modern parents, from pregnancy and potty training to school, sex, and nits. There are fun features like Sex Positions For Parents, quizzes such as Did Our Husbands Really Say That?, and Scummy Mummy Life Hacks.

    In "A Matter Of Some Gravity" by fan favorite Don Rosa, saucy sorceress Magica De Spell turns Scrooge's life sideways - literally! - when she distorts the forces of gravity with a brand new magic wand! Then, in "The Sign Of The Triple Distelfink," lucky Gladstone Gander faces a 24 ­hour luck jinx­ and battles to hide it from a gloating Cousin Donald! Only ever published in the USA in underprinted mid­-1990s editions, these Rosa classics are back like you've never seen them before!

    Looking for starting points and must-read moments of your favorite Marvel characters? It's all here in this latest edition of the Marvel Reading Chronology! Maximize your reading experience with these easy-to-follow chronologies will guide you through your reading list and make you the merriest Marvelite on your block!

    Join Ricky Gervais, Steve Merchant and Karl Pilkington as they probe the nature of human society.In this episode: Athenian democracy and arboreal investments; Karl on road safety; President Pilkington's pronouncements; Malthusian musings; Karl's adoption agency; the ins and outs of organ donation; social injustice on the busses; morality and entomology; Karl's Luddite attitude to plate sanitation; euthanized ensifera; social orthodoxy at the orthodontist's; and splenetic etiquette.