Scratch
Troon Mcallister - 2003
When Eddie's former caddie, "Fat Albert" Auberlain (a cross between Tiger Woods and John Daly), loses his PGA Tour card, his endorsements, and his composure after posting a twelve on a par three at the Fruit-of-the-Loom Waste Management Open, Eddie finds the sad sack on his doorstep. Fat Albert, in debt up to his eyeballs and with several needy relatives to feed, had barely been eking out a living on Tour as it was, and the pressure was threatening to make him implode altogether. Eddie takes pity on his protege but isn't quite sure what he can do, when along comes nuclear physicist Norman Standish with the most revolutionary advance in golf equipment since the double niblick-a golf ball they call Scratch. If Standish's claims are true, Eddie could make the killing of his strange and wonderful life and just possibly change the game forever. With McAllister's patented golf hustling hijinks, roller-coaster plotting, and laugh-out-loud skewering of pro sports hypocrisy, Eddie's die-hard fans and golf fiction aficionados will laugh all the way to the putting green. As Eddie himself puts it in The Foursome, "Why do you think they call the devil "Scratch"?"
The Van Helsing Paradox
Evelyn Chartres - 2018
There was more truth than fiction to those words. There were things that lurked in the shadows which defied the laws of nature: perversions that fed on the dead, terrorised the living, or escaped the chill touch of the grave.Clara is a member of the Tower, a religious order of hunters who work outside the confines of the Church. As keepers of the arcane, her order takes an active role to counter these threats. The life of a hunter can be short, and many disappear before their training is complete. So, what does it take to succeed against all odds?Explore Clara’s origin, a child born before the dawn of the twentieth century. Witness her rigorous training, how she faces adversity, and fights in the Great War to become the derringer wielding flapper she is.Throughout her tale, keep in mind that no matter the threat, a gal has to look out for herself after all.
Is Harry Still On The Boat?
Colin Butts - 2003
Could any novel be ruder than IS HARRY ON THE BOAT? Possibly this sequel to that brilliantly funny cult novel about holiday reps in Ibiza.
Hey, Cowgirl, Need a Ride?
Baxter Black - 2005
When Teddie Arizona, woman of mystery, crawls out of the wreckage of her plane and into their lives with a $5,000,000 secret, things start to get interesting.When T.A.’s “husband,” F. Rank Pantaker, dispatches his henchmen to retrieve the money—and the girl—Lick and Al find themselves trying to outrun the bad guys and protect a damsel in distress. Is T.A. out to cheat her cheatin’ husband, or is she really just trying to stop an illegal scheme cooked up by F. Rank and the infamous Ponce de Crayon, Vegas’s most glamorous tiger tamer? Is she playing Lick—or is it love? Will Al Bean’s cockeyed plan, an able assist from Cody, Lick’s cowboy sidekick, a brigade of old-time rodeo reunioneers, and twenty miles of duct tape be enough to stop F. Rank’s nefarious schemes, reform a career party girl, and change the hearts and minds of ten of the world’s most thrill-seeking billionaires? Can Cody keep Lick from climbing onto raging bull Kamikaze’s back one more time? Can true love triumph over shoot-outs at the not-so-okay corral and close encounters with white tigers? Hey, this is Baxter Black—what do you think? With its colorful cast of characters, rip-roaring humor, and inventive language, this caper will have you riding high long after it gallops to a thunderously satisfying conclusion.
Astonishing Times #1 (comiXology Originals)
Frank J. Barbiere - 2021
A Million Little Lies
James Pinocchio - 2006
While there, Mr. Pinocchio meets all sorts of Fascinating Characters, one more Unbelievable and Amazing than the next, and they challenge him to confront his Deepest, Darkest Fears. The experience leads Mr. Pinocchio to the very edges of despair, but at a critical juncture he finds hope in the arms of a Bad Woman.The love affair ends tragically, alas, and, like many parts of Mr. Pinocchio's story, stretches credibility to the breaking point, but the harrowing adventure -- which involves a great deal of pain, a smattering of dirty sex, and endless amounts of girlish crying -- eventually leads to Redemption and Healing. But not for Mr. Pinocchio
Angry Little Girls in Love
Lela Lee - 2008
This book follows the promising first date of Kim and Bruce who hook up to have a dysfunctional boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. Their friends offer help and advice along the way. Featuring vengeful, sarcastic, and hopeless love cartoons, anyone who has been in a relationship or is trying to find one for Valentine's Day will surely get a laugh out of this book.
But Can You Drink the Water? (Droll, witty and utterly British)
Jan Hurst-Nicholson - 2010
Laugh out loud as they encounter ‘crocodiles’ on the wall, strange African customs and unintelligible Afrikaans accents. Cringe with them as their visiting in-laws embarrass them in front of their new SA friends.If you enjoyed Educating Rita and Shirley Valentine you will recognise Mavis Turner.Set in the 1970s, But Can You Drink The Water? uses subtle observational humour with an underlying pathos to portray the upsets, hurt and changing family dynamics that emigration brings. (The story is based on a 13-part sitcom) ReviewWith a droll, witty, utterly British voice, this manuscript tackles playfully and sincerely the age-old fish out of water tale. What sustains this book, however, is the narrative voice, the dry and self-deprecating humor, and the ability of this author to tell a story simply and well. Publisher’s Weekly reviewer for the ABNA semi-finals.
Carnival Chaos
Ron Bates - 2020
Join them on their adventure as they make merry mischief in the vibrant and topsy-turvy world of the Inkwell Isles!
It's a special day on the Inkwell Isles: Elder Kettle's birthday! Yes, sirree, it's a very special day. So Cuphead and Mugman need to find the perfect gift to honor their beloved mentor. But along the way, the brothers and their new friend Ms. Chalice are captivated by the sights and sounds of the carnival that just rolled into town. Despite Elder Kettle's warning that the attraction is filled with liars and thieves, the trio gets reeled in.At the carnival, the friends are bamboozled and burgled by enemies, old and new. Will they escape the chaos and get their gift before it's too late?Includes over 20 never-before-seen illustrations drawn by Studio MDHR's Lance Miller that feature hidden items for an interactive treasure hunt!Cuphead in Carnival Chaos is the first book in an original series and perfect for players of Cuphead, and readers of Hello Neighbor, Bendy and the Ink Machine, and Five Nights at Freddy's.© 2020 StudioMDHR Entertainment Inc. All Rights Reserved. Cuphead(TM), the Cuphead(TM) logo, StudioMDHR(TM) and the StudioMDHR(TM) logo are trademarks and/or registered trademarks of StudioMDHR Entertainment Inc. throughout the world.
Don't Blame the Devil
Pat G'Orge-Walker - 2010
So after hearing of her daughter-in-law's sudden death, Delilah decides that coming to the rescue of her long-estranged son, Jessie, and her granddaughter, Tamara, would be a good look. . .though Lord knows she'll have to dig hard to find her maternal instincts.But Delilah quickly discovers Jessie wants nothing to do with her. And Tamara, who's following in Delilah's musical footsteps, isn't interested in her career advice, especially since Delilah got ahead using the singing couch. And Delilah's old flame, Deacon Pillar, an ex-convict who's traded in his gangster ways for a Bible, is stirring up a past that's sure to shock..."Hilarious faith-based romp. . .Walker shines a little light on a wacky family reunion with her usual inspirational, knee-slapping style." --Publishers Weekly "A comic novel about mistakes and second chances." --Library Journal
The Tick Omnibus Vol. 1: Sunday Through Wednesday
Ben Edlund - 1995
Collecting issues 1-6 of The Tick in one volume, with a few supplemental materials.
Trinity
Nigel May - 2013
Determined to prove herself to her family, she’ll stop at nothing to get what she wants. But when her bitchy tongue gains her death threats and the unwanted attention of a stalker, it could be Anoushka who is making the headlines. For actress Evie Merchant, her childhood dreams of becoming the world’s hottest movie star are just about to come true. But a string of hurtful liaisons with lovers out to use her fame, has made Evie uncertain about her future. And with Oscar day looming, Evie’s biggest prize of all could be cruelly snatched from her. A loveless upbringing has made wild child Regan Phoenix search for quick-fix highs from drink, drugs and meaningless sex. But when the opportunity of starring in her own reality show comes along, Regan grabs it with both hands, hoping to put her trashy past behind her. From fashionable London to stunning Venice and glitzy LA, Trinity takes you into a glamorous and thrilling world you won’t want to leave.
Office Wars: The Mailroom Clerk
James G. Patton - 2017
He sleeps in a real bed and eats real food and only jumps into Neuroma to work. All he wanted was to log in, work and log out and live in general obscurity. Getting the attention of a CEO, meeting a stranger in real life, and forced to play in a secret game of corporations were not penciled into his calendar. While that was bad, he started to question whether Odditek was still in control, or had their complacency created the noose tightening around their neck. Bran was not yet aware of the choice before him. He could no longer stand back and watch, and he had to pick a side and fight before he lost the ability to choose. Would he recognize the inevitable in time? Was it possible to make a ‘correct’ choice, or had the lines blurred so much that hero and villain were indistinguishable? This novel is part of an Odditek series and is a LitRPG novel. I realize it’s the first Odditek series, but more are coming. This series started as a companion series to a book called Lantern Online. I wanted a way to build up the world as it now exists, and to explain what Odditek is. Neuroma and Nerves are mentioned in Lantern Online, and I felt all that information was taking away from my story and is mostly not relevant, but good to know information. I took a lot of it out and added it to this series. Anyway, out of that came Office Wars. I hope it's different than most LitRPG you will read, and brings another dimension to the genre. Explicit language! I will not lie, there is a satirical nature to this story, and a lot of the language and scenarios are morally questionable on purpose. In this story and I use a lot of curse words and controversial commentary. Just look on Facebook or any half a dozen social media sites, and you will see similar language, conversations, and other nonsense. If we all moved into a digital world, this is how I view that world.