Like the bungling burglar who logged on to his own Facebook page at his victim's house - and forgot to turn the computer off when he left, or the stupid bank robber who made his escape in his own car - complete with personalised number plates, or the idiotic criminal who tried to hand himself into the police... in order to collect the reward. Award-winning writer Andrew Penman has scoured the country for this hilarious collection of those who are not just bad, but also dim very dim. 'Andrew Penman enjoys a laugh at the expense of Britain's most stupid burglars' - The Mirror 'Exploits so dim-witted it's surprising they ever managed to keep themselves breathing long enough to commit any crime' - Wales Online Illustrated with cartoons drawn by Neil Kerber.

    Filled with all-new cycles - two one-month cycles, two two-week cycles, and three specialty cycles: gourmet, summer, and gluten-free - their trademark method remains the same: You shop for an entire cycle all at once, buying in bulk and saving money. You do all the food prep for the cycle the next day, freezing and refrigerating what needs to be kept cold, stocking the pantry when appropriate. Then, as the family assembles for mealtime, you do some quick finishing and it's ready - fast and delicious! Once-a-Month Cooking(TM) Family Favorites has something for every kind of eater and includes such soon-to-be favorites as:-Adobe Chicken-Baked Mediterranean Cod-Chicken Wild Rice Soup-County-Style Ribs-Texas-Style LasagnaWith the perfect plan in hand and bulk shopping at economically-friendly prices, the Once-A-Month Cooking (TM) technique is a surefire way to get a delicious dinner on the table fast so that you can spend more time with your family!

    For years I stumbled around in a daze drinking stale, bitter coffee and grumbling “beans… beans…”. Thank Goodness I finally woke up to the world of coffee. By Immersing myself in the coffee world via reading every book I could find, visiting trade fairs, every high-end cafe I could find, and barista competitions, I realized that, while there is a huge amount of information out there free on the Internet and in artisan coffee shops, there was no single resource that connects all the dots and spells it all out for confused novice coffee drinkers.Until now.Fact: Making a great cup of coffee requires focus and commitment. This means that to make a billion dollar for-profit coffee franchise, you MUST find ways to cut corners and short change your customers.Fact: There are some GREAT coffee shops out there that care about coffee and customers and are worth every penny they charge, but they can be hard to identify, making it easy to just settle for familiar chain coffee.Fact: Making very good coffee is NOT THAT HARD. With a minimal investment in time and education you can make the best cup of coffee you’ve ever had in your life in the comfort of your own home. This book shows exactly why billion dollar for-profit coffee chains are inherently unable to produce coffee of the quality you can make in the kitchen.The Coffeeist Manifesto is half self-defense manual and half how-to instructional. By the end of it, any coffee beginner will have a foundational understanding of the coffee industry and know how to identify the good coffee shops from the bad ones. But most importantly, you’ll know how to beat them at their own game by making coffee at home that blows the cafes out of the water.Complete Table of Contents:PrefaceHow to Read This BookPart I -Coffee TheoryCoffeeists of the World, Unite!HistoryBarista's DilemmaCoffee MythsFour Keys to Killer CoffeeHome RoastingPart II - Brew MethodsCold BrewCoffee PotPress PotAeropressPour OverVacuum PotPart III - EspressoMoka PotMyPressi TwistEspresso VariationsPart IV - The Truth About Coffee ShopsCoffee Shop AppreciationThe RulesDecoding the MenuPart V - Going Beyond the BasicsThe Politics of CoffeeFrom Coffeeist to AficionadoAppendix - Green Coffee Extract

    When they returned the next year, they were met with sticks and stones, stripped naked and sent home with red cheeks.Mark Horrell and his two friends Mark and Ian shared a dream to climb an 8,000m peak, but it seemed the gods were against them too. They had made no fewer than eight attempts without success (though they had managed to return with their clothes on).With towering ice walls, monsoon rainstorms, arm-twisting crevasses and – most dangerous of all – welcoming teahouses ready to entrap them, would it be different this time?

    My withdrawal/delirium tremens (DTs) were terrifying and excruciating.My story takes the reader through my experiences of late stage alcoholism, two arrests by my new husband of three months and my subsequent adventures through and between five inpatient treatment centers for alcohol abuse.

    Join him as he perfects, simplifies, and totally re-invents your favorite dishes in surprising, spectacular ways.   Have you ever wondered which cheese, exactly, will make the stretchiest, cheesiest mac and cheese? Or if you can make Hollandaise sauce without fear, a double boiler, or even a whisk? Or if, instead of having to choose between onion rings or French fries, you can make onion rings crusted with French fries? Tyler Florence has. These are the kinds of questions he obsesses over when he thinks about how to make cooking both easier and more exciting.   For years, while shuttling between his restaurants and TV shoots, Tyler's kept a notebook of ideas to push his own recipes out of their comfort zone. Now, for the first time in his career, he’s established a culinary lab where he can dive deep into the hows, whys, and why-nots of his cooking. He brings you Inside the Test Kitchen to see his experiments, the wins and the fails, and of course, the delicious, foolproof, and surprising recipes that come out of it.   Go from tricks to make basics brilliant—like saucing Double-Creamed Spinach with pureed spinach, or using boiling-hot brine to make a Super-Crisp Roast Chicken— to simpler ways to make the classics, like a nearly no-stir Time Saver Risotto and a Three-Minute Hollandaise, to pure reinvention, like Fronion Rings and almost-instant Modern Burger Buns.   Through these 120 recipes, Tyler invites you to question culinary sacred cows, push your skills to the next level, and make food more delicious than they would have thought possible.

    But it doesn't have to be that way. Anybody can prepare a meal that will keep their time in the hot kitchen to a minimal yet without sacrificing on health. This cookbook offers 70 meal ideas that you can prepare in 20 minutes or less. You will find everything from: Chapter One – Appetizers, Snacks and Beverages Start your party with a savory dip and veggies, snack on a tasty wrap, or sip a refreshing beverage. Chapter Two – Breads From delightful pancakes and waffles to tasty biscuits - look for these speedy recipes to begin the morning or round out your evening meal. Chapter Three – Main Dishes Perfectly seasoned meats and chicken, fabulous fish, and satisfying meatless dishes – any one of these hearty entrées can be on the table in 20 minutes of less. Chapter Four – Soups and Sandwiches Need a quick lunch or supper? These creative, flavorful soups and sandwiches are sure to satisfy all ages and the hungriest of appetites. Chapter Five – Salads Venture beyond everyday lettuce to experience our fresh blends of greens, vegetables, or fruit – some with added protein, so they are hearty enough for a meal. Chapter Six – Side Dishes Don’t let sides be an afterthought – turn to these simple, high-flavor vegetables, pastas, and grains for family and company meals. Chapter Seven – Desserts Treat yourself to a refreshing fruit combo, indulge in a rich zabaglione with fresh fruit, or enjoy Amaretto strawberries over angel food cake - whatever you choose, I guarantee satisfaction!