And one very annoyed world.Based on the ingenious Sir Michael Twitter account, How to (Almost) Make Friends on the Internet is the funniest book you'll read this year.Whether it's offering his services as a Karate Lawyer or Funeral DJ, devising the world's worst plan to get a free haircut, or trying to buy a blue bucket that may or may not be for sale, Michael just wants to connect with people.The only problem is that people are slightly less enthusiastic about connecting with him, and the results are utterly hilarious.Warning: you'll never think about adding someone called Michael to a group chat the same way ever again.

    Now in paperback--the extraordinary New York Times bestselling guide packed with 2,000 time and money saving tips on everything from laundry to gardening, pet care to pest control, painting to plumbing--topped off with the unique Easy-Find index for finding answers fast.

    Brenda is mother to thirteen-year-old Kenneth, author of Asperger Syndrome, the Universe and Everything, and since his diagnosis at the age of eight she has gathered together the parenting ideas and tips that have had a positive effect on Kenneth's life. Brenda discusses parents' reaction to their child's AS and gives advice on how better to understand 'Planet Asperger'. This book helps parents to respond positively to the challenge of AS and find the 'treasure' in their child's way of being.

    These include contact information, submission preferences, insider tips on what specific editors want, and--when offered--payment information.In addition to the listings, Poet's Market offers articles on the Craft of Poetry, Business of Poetry, and Promotion of Poetry--not to mention new poems from today's best and brightest poets, including Beth Copeland, Joseph Mills, Judith Skillman, Laurie Kolp, Bernadette Geyer, and more. Learn the habits of highly productive poets, the usefulness of silence, revision tricks, poetic forms, ways to promote a new book, and more.You also gain access to:Lists of conferences, workshops, organizations, and grantsA free digital download of Writer's Yearbook featuring the 100 Best Markets*Includes access to the webinar "How to Build an Audience for Your Poetry" from Robert Lee Brewer, editor of Poet's Market*

    Being Mortal by Atul Gawande - A 20-minute Summary Inside this Instaread Summary: • Overview of the entire book• Introduction to the important people in the book• Summary and analysis of all the chapters in the book• Key Takeaways of the book• A Reader's Perspective Preview of this summary: Chapter 1 Gawande grew up in Ohio. His parents were immigrants from India and both were doctors. His grandparents stayed in India, and there were few older people in his neighborhood, so he had little experience with aging or death until he met his wife’s grandmother, Alice Hobson. Hobson was seventy-seven and living on her own in Virginia. She was a spirited widow who fixed her own plumbing and volunteered with Meals On Wheels. However, Hobson was losing strength and height steadily each year as her arthritis worsened.Gawande’s father enthusiastically adopted the customs of his new country, but he could not understand the way in which seniors were treated in the US. In India, the elderly were treated with great respect and lived out their lives with family.In the United States, Sitaram Gawande, Gawande’s grandfather, likely would have been sent to a nursing home like most of the elderly who cannot handle the basics of daily living by themselves. However, in India, Sitaram Gawande was able to live in his own home and manage his own affairs, with family constantly around him. He died at the age of one hundred and ten when he fell off a bus during a business trip.Until recently, most elderly people stayed with their families. Even as the nuclear family unit became predominant, replacing the multi-generational family unit, people cared for their elderly relatives. Families were large and one child, usually a daughter, would not marry in order to take care of the parents.This has changed in much of the world, where elderly people end up struggling to live alone, like Hobson, rather than living with dignity amid family, like Sitaram Gawande.One cause of this change can be found in the nature of knowledge. When few people lived to be very old, elders were honored. Their store of knowledge was greatly useful. People often portrayed themselves as older to command respect. Modern society’s emphasis on youth is a complete reversal of this attitude. Technological advances are perceived as the territory of the young, and everyone wants to be younger. High-tech job opportunities are all over the world, and young people do not hesitate to leave their parents behind to pursue them.In developed countries, parents embrace the concept of a retirement filled with leisure activities. Parents are happy to begin living for themselves once children are grown. However, this system only works for young, healthy retirees, but not for those who cannot continue to be independent. Hobson, for example, was falling frequently and suffering memory lapses. Her doctor did tests and wrote prescriptions, but did not know what to do about her deteriorating condition. Neither did her family… About the Author With Instaread Summaries, you can get the summary of a book in 30 minutes or less. We read every chapter, summarize and analyze it for your convenience.

    It will help you understand how the genre works, the big do's and don't's - as well as giving you the inspiration and motivation you actually need to write. Written by a leading literary agent who knows what it takes to make it in this market, this book will give you the advice and tips you need to stand out. An essential book for anyone hoping to emulate the success and addictive qualities that characterize books like The Hunger Games, Twilight, Divergent and The Fault in Our Stars.

    In the seventy years since, his wit (and the occasional ‘gaffe’) has continued to endear him to the nation, as he travelled the world taking his unique and charmingly British sense of humour to its far-flung corners. Hailed as a god by a tribe in Vanuatu, the Prince has had his fair share of brickbats from the media nearer home, but his outspokenness never fails to raise laughs – and eyebrows.From notorious one-liners to less newsworthy witticisms and from plain speaking to blunt indifference, the Prince does what we all wish we could do now and again – forgets polite conversation and says what he thinks. In the year in which the Prince has stepped down from his royal duties, this joyous and timely book celebrates his wry humour and supremely wicked wit.

    

    

    Now, trusted educator, writer, and researcher Leila Christenbury has returned with a remarkable new edition of her classic.The third edition of Making the Journey will be both refreshingly new and satisfyingly familiar to those who've come to rely on Christenbury's wisdom and uncommon common sense. Every chapter has been revised and updated with new examples, the latest research, and stories from today's classrooms. Even more important, Christenbury has devoted new sections to discussing instructional and political topics crucial to the contemporary teacher, including:supporting English language learners developing students' ability to write on demand meeting the challenge of high - stakes standardized testing balancing depth of coverage with breadth in standards - based curricular planning creating tests and other assessments that align with curricular goals and provide useful information for subsequent instruction engaging students' reading interests through nontraditional, real - world genres like graphic novels teaching writing and media literacy through digital - age innovations such as blogs and WebQuests navigating the politics of school while remaining an activist professional With the latest, smartest strategies, techniques, and ideas as well as Leila Christenbury's trademark pragmatism and know - how, the third edition of Making the Journey will be an indispensable guide for anyone just starting their own journey into teaching or for anyone already on their way.

    Bringing together all of Viorst's best-loved poetry, this collection includes many of the poet's previously out-of-print favorites.

    . .Turns out he's a starter and a closer."—Tim Kurkjian, ESPNAs a major and not-so-major league pitcher, Dirk Hayhurst has learned to master more than striking out batters. While waiting for his name to be called in the bullpen, he honed his gifts as a storyteller, one the New York Times calls the "best writer in a baseball uniform." In this often hilarious collection of adventures on and off the diamond, Dirk details the intricacies of pulling off an epic team prank, even if it's at his own expense; the art of creating the perfect professional baseball nickname; his comically ineffective attempts at writing romance novels; and the bizarre tale in which a bear gets punched in the face (yes, really). No matter how wild his story, Dirk proves once again he knows that it's all in the delivery."I find his writing both entertaining and thought provoking. . .unlike his fastball."—Ben Zobrist, Tampa Bay Rays All-Star "Dirk Hayhurst writes about baseball in a unique way. Observant, insightful, human, and hilarious." —Bob Costas"Hayhurst delivers an entertaining story for more than just sports fans."—Jordan Bastian, MLB.com"Hayhurst explains life in the minors and the major leagues like you've never read it before."—J. J. Cooper, Baseball America"Insight and humor from the pitcher's mound."—Businessweek51,300 Words.

    The reader's experience must be an emotional journey of its own, one as involving as your characters' struggles, discoveries, and triumphs are for you.That's where The Emotional Craft of Fiction comes in. Veteran literary agent and expert fiction instructor Donald Maass shows you how to use story to provoke a visceral and emotional experience in readers. Topics covered include: emotional modes of writing beyond showing versus telling your story's emotional world moral stakes connecting the inner and outer journeys plot as emotional opportunities invoking higher emotions, symbols, and emotional language cascading change story as emotional mirror positive spirit and magnanimous writing the hidden current that makes stories move Readers can simply read a novel...or they can experience it. The Emotional Craft of Fiction shows you how to make that happen.

    Well, you know, the two percent of the world's population that are natural redheads, at least. This book has equal parts pop culture, ginger facts, and humorous stories about what it's like to actually have red hair. It's loaded with everything you'd ever want to know about us reds; how we're scientifically different from the norms (non-redheads), how we've been stereotyped in pop culture, and the do's and don'ts of having a red in your life, among other things!Whether you are a redhead, know a redhead, or are just an enthusiast, this book explores the realities, the myths, and where red hair actually originates (it's not Ireland). Author Erin La Rosa not only delivers the facts, statistics, and undeniable realities of being a ginger, but she also weaves in her own personal and hilarious stories about being red. Being a redhead is not just a hair color, it's a lifestyle--and this book is your own exclusive peek into that fabulous world.Some surprising facts about redheads that you will discover include: - The association between redheads and humor came from redheaded slaves in ancient Greece- There are over 30 leading or recurring redhead characters in Disney and Pixar films... that's a lot when you remember we're only two percent of the world's population!- Redhead women allegedly have more sex, more threesomes, and more orgasms than other women... or do they? Let's find out!- Some Egyptian rulers dyed their hair red to assert their power (looking at you, Cleopatra)- And redheads need more anesthesia at the dentist, because they're not going down without a fight

    Brian Doyle’s The Kind of Brave You Wanted to Be is a book of cadenced notes on the swirl of miracle and the holy of attentiveness; a book about children and birds, love and grief and everything alive, which is to say all prayers.