This is the story, by the people who saw with their own eyes, made with their own hands, and heard with their own ears.

    We all know one! They like to groan and grumble, offering their own commentary on the shortcomings of modern life. Whether it is queues at the supermarket, the state of the health system, the price of a pint these days, the hairstyles of teenagers, or the number of Maltesers you actually get in a bag, there is always something that will get their goat. 'The Grumpy Old Git's Guide to Life' is a hilarious celebration of all these grumps, how to identify one, what exactly they find so irritating and why we find their rants quite so amusing.

    Longtime skateboard artist Sean Cliver put together this staggering survey of over 1,000 skateboard graphics from the last 30 years, creating an indispensable insiders' history as he did so.Alongside his own history, Sean has assembled a wealth of recollections and stories from prominent artists and skateboarders such as: Andy Howell, Barry McGee, Ed Templeton, Steve Caballero, and Tony Hawk.The end result is a fascinating historical account of art in the skateboard subculture, as told by those directly involved with shaping its legendary creative face.

    It can be read in a variety of ways: as a psychological investigation of Trump, as a philosophical meditation on the relationship between language and power, as a satirical compilation of the “collected wit and wisdom of Donald Trump,” and above all as a dagger into the rhetoric of American political discourse—a dissection of the politesse that gave rise to and sustains Trump. The book’s central thesis is that we have met the enemy and he is us. Who else but David Shields would make such an argument, let alone pull it off with such intelligence, brio, and wit, not to mention leaked off-air transcripts from Fox News? ------------- PRAISE ------------- “Shields has written the best book on the political and cultural implications of Trump’s presidency, and he nails it at least a hundred times, and in dozens of unique ways. Shields writes that Trump “seems not to have an inner life,” which explains a number of things no one else has gotten at. Bravo. I’m sending copies to everyone I can think of. My take—written on the inside cover of the book at 3 A.M. is this: “Donald Trump is the culture hero for all those people in the world wearing wigs and toupees and dignity diapers and prosthetic arms and legs, all those people who have false teeth and hearing aids, breast implants, and those rods that make your penis seem hard when it really isn’t. And there are more of those people in the world than we can imagine. Commercial fiction is far too slow and getting slower daily as it puckers its lips to the nether parts of the marketplace, and most discursive writing isn’t much faster. Shields’s deployment of self-reflexivity has moved the whole project beyond post-modernism. His self-reflexivity isn’t, as it has become with nearly everyone, a calcifying style or posture. It’s fully integrated, and thus it moves at the same speed as perception, even becoming an accelerant to meaning. Shields has earned the designation of being the writer most likely to be picked up and murdered should either the right or leftist fundamentalists take power. And this designation hasn’t been conferred on an American writer since Philip K. Dick. Shields is that good. He is one of a very small group of true 21st century writers, and I salute him as a master.” —Brian Fawcett “I wasn’t going to read it because I’m so tired of anti-Trump shit, but I love the book, agree with everything Shields nails about this moment. It’s the best summation of Trump I’ve come across. Such a relief to see someone get it. I was reading passages to my millennial Communist ‘Trump is going to kill us all’ bf, who didn’t say anything, just rolled away.” —Bret Easton Ellis“Shields’s most ‘accessible’ book and probably his best. Impossible to put down—a polyphonic bricolage that is both absolutely of this moment and deserving of a burial in a time capsule to be opened at another age. The clinical depression of our current historical circumstances is never absent from these pages, but while reading them, one does so with exultation at seeing Trump and his era so exactly skewered.” —Jonathan Raban “No other book approaches the man and the situation in quite this way: the problem isn’t out there; it’s in us. A book (deserving of a wide readership) for those who have a bit of trouble with the left and a ton of trouble with the right.

    This is my attempt to change that.But first….I need you help.I NEED REAL WRITING-RELATED QUESTIONS FROM REAL TEENS!If you’re a teen and you like to write… Or if you know a teen who likes to write….PLEASE SUBMIT YOUR WRITING-RELATED QUESTIONS, and I’ll go through them all and–hopefully–yours will end up in the finished book!The book, btw, will be published by Scholastic in the fall of 2018–just in time for NaNoWriMo!If you want your question considered, just go to AllyCarter.com/DearAlly and let me know what you’d like to know. --from Ally Carter's blog

    Fortunately, Simple Soldering proves that does not need to be the case. This handy how-to guide is complete in its exploration of the craft of creating soldered metal jewelry, including tools, techniques, and 20 beautiful projects that beginners and enthusiasts can make at home.Author and teacher Kate Richbourg demystifies basic soldering for any home crafter, showing how to create sophisticated, polished, and professional-looking jewelry pieces through simple soldering techniques. First, she instructs how to set up a jewelry workspace that fits the confines of your budget and living space. Detailed step-by-step instructions walk you through the basic tools and materials you need, plus how to use them. A sample chapter gives a host of introductory exercises that teach solid skills, allowing you to test these techniques on a small scale. Finally, you'll discover 20 finished projects that include earrings, pendants, rings, bracelets, and clasps that may also include bead or wire embellishment.Kate also demonstrates how to combine and layer techniques to gorgeous effect. She also examines common mistakes, shows how to correct or adapt them, and gives advice on when it’s time to start over. Most of all, having taught thousands of classes on soldering, Kate has a "you can do it!" attitude that shines through to help even the most reluctant jewelry maker fire up the torch with ease.Paired with an instructional DVD, Kate’s expert teaching skills will help projects come alive, right in your own studio.With Simple Soldering, the art of metal working one-of-a-kind jewelry is now at your fingertips.

    They love us unconditionally, shower us with attention, and because of them, we actually live longer. So, what can possibly be awkward about our animal BFFs? Well . . . nothing. In fact, we’re the awkward ones. We adore our pets, but let’s face it—sometimes L-O-V-E makes us go a little overboard. Like giving them middle names, throwing them elaborate birthday parties, and making them a Christmas sweater to match with the rest of the family. Truth is, what they cherish most is our companionship. And maybe that’s the reason we care about them so much—because for such simple pleasures, they allow us to be as awkward as we want.

    Her best advice? Take your time, trust your maternal instincts, and choose a course that fits your needs—and your baby’s personality. For thirty years, Luiza has been helping new mothers navigate the skills, practices, and support it takes to start a family. For her, mothering is not about programs or techniques. Rather, it is about the connection between you and your new child. And for that reason, she believes that attitude is more important than approach. All mothers are different, but the three most important qualities remain the same for everyone: patience, openness, and attentiveness. Can being patient, open, and attentive guarantee that your baby will be a good sleeper or easy to feed? Of course not! But no matter what challenges your newborn brings, these three key qualities will help you rise to meet them. Like having your very own baby nurse right at your side, Eat, Play, Sleep is an indispensable guide to a good start and a happy, healthy first three months. —Learn the best methods for feeding your infant —Discover the secrets of “good sleepers” —Understand the importance of a predictable routine —How to use “play” to help establish a routine —Tips for introducing bathing and massage —How to deal with crying, especially if you have a “difficult-to-calm” baby And much more!

    Because, though villains may never win, they sure have more fun, hatching master plans for world domination, smoothing their dastardly tights. Neil Zawacki answers all the most urgent questions: Should I go with a black or red theme? Do I invest in an army of winged monkeys or ninja warriors? And just where will I put the evil hideout? Whether readers choose to pursue a career as a Criminal Mastermind, Mad Scientist, Corporate Bastard, or just a Wanna-be Evil Genius, they are sure to find plenty of tips for jumpstarting any evil enterprise. Cheaper than attending the annual bad guy conference and way more fun than being good, How to Be a Villain is guaranteed to elicit deep-throated evil laughs across the land.

      It is also full of useful things that will help organize your year, including dates, numbers, and pictures of dogs.

     Kobold Guide to Plots & Campaigns shows how to begin a new campaign, use published adventures or loot them for the best ideas, build toward cliffhangers, and design a game that can enthrall your players for month or even years. Want to run an evil campaign, or hurl the characters into unusual otherworldly settings? Want to ensure that you're creating memorable and effective NPCs and villains? We've got you covered. Complete with discussions on plotting, tone, branching storytelling, pacing, and crafting action scenes, you'll find all the tips and advice you need to take on the best role in roleplaying--and become an expert gamemaster, too! Featuring essays by Wolfgang Baur, Jeff Grubb, David "Zeb" Cook, Margaret Weis, Robert J. Schwalb, Steve Winter, and other game professionals.

    As we all know, true creativity comes from simple formulas and the memorization of data. This new bible makes the secrets of comedy accessible, not only to those funny few among us, but also to those who might not have the ability or talent to be funny. One no longer need worry about originality — just find the right comedy number and apply as needed... and then you're on your way to POPULARITYVILLE!© Comedy by the Numbers is a NEARLY comprehensive list of all comedy characters, bits, scenarios, sketches, skits, shtick, and much more. (We say nearly because we want to leave room for Volume 2.) Included are special hints, tips, and unboring comedy history. Comedy by the Numbers is the brainchild of Prof. Eric Hoffman (Mr. Show) and Dr. Gary Rudoren (Annoyance Theatre) — AND features loads of comedy fun facts that you can memorize and use to impress people at parties!

    But some debates can never be settled no matter how much you run up your bar tab arguing with your friends. Well, it’s time to answer your questions once and for all: • Could an average guy start in the WNBA?• Would sumo wrestlers make great NFL linemen?• How easy is it for pro athletes to get laid? • How good are pro golfers at miniature golf?• Do pro athletes really play drunk or high?• How would a fan hit against a major league pitcher?To settle more than thirty of sports’ greatest (and most ridiculous) debates, Todd Gallagher has teamed up with coaches, general managers, and athletes—including LeBron James, Mike Tyson, Dwyane Wade, Johan Santana, Eddie George, Jose Canseco, and many others. But Gallagher didn’t just ask questions. He put these debates to the test—literally. He sent an all-midget lineup up against a pro baseball team. He swam freestyle against a doggie-paddling Olympic gold medalist. He recruited America's #1 darts player to test that uncanny accuracy in beer pong. And, yes, he stuck a frying pan in tennis star Andy Roddick’s hands and went to battle.The results are hilarious and enlightening. Best of all, once you have the answers you’ll be able to shut up the next loudmouth who tries to debate you at the bar.

    Now Lauren reveals how you can adapt her classic, understated style for yourself. In her first-ever style guide, Lauren offers tips on how to create your own unique look, shares her favorite sources of inspiration, and identifies the absolute must-haves for any fashionista's wardrobe. Along the way, she examines her fashion evolution, from California-casual teen to camera-ready style icon and clothing designer.From beauty advice and hair secrets to how to shop vintage or find the perfect T-shirt, Lauren Conrad Style unlocks the mysteries of being effortlessly chic. With Lauren's guidance, you'll look and feel stylish every day.

    This edition contains all the material in the original volumes of George, Don't Do That and Stately as a Galleon, including the bloodthirsty 'Ethel' and the unforgettable nursery school monologues.