Try, "I was overcome by the urge to alphabetize my pets," or perhaps a simple "Had ninja trouble." Steve has used both these excuses, and here they are hilariously illustrated. He also has claimed to have become temporarily feral, accidentally sold himself on eBay, and gotten stuck in a romantic montage. An illustration of Steve with Darth Vader accompanies the inarguable excuse "I was seduced by the Dark Side." He also gets lost in his duvet, and discovers he has a rather unusual superpower.

    She’s twenty eight, owns a bookstore, and is one determined, control freak of a woman. She’s decided to take the entire weekend off to have some fun. Except Anabel’s unapologetically single and perfectly uncomplicated life is suddenly upside down with problems! The cheating love of her life is back in town. Her family is meddling in her personal business. An adulterous wife of a good friend has gone missing. She’s been targeted for death by a homicidal serial rapist. An evil aunt has gone fanatic. Her sociopathic cousin has stolen her gun. The macho police chief is driving her nuts. And one not-too-tall, deliciously dark, and definitely not handsome stranger is enticing her to break all her ironclad rules on dating in the most intriguing of ways. Strange things are happening in Northfield, Minnesota. But Anabel’s never met the challenge she won’t stare in the eye while daintily spitting sideways in the dirt. Will Anabel begin to believe that life is never simple, some rules are meant to be broken, and a certain mesmerizing complication may be worth the trouble--even if it kills her? (Adult Content)

    He had a solid job. He ran 5Ks for charity. He was living a nice, safe Midwestern existence. And then his wife left him for a handsome paramedic down the street.We’re All Damaged begins after Andy has lost his job, ruined his best friend’s wedding, and moved to New York City, where he lives in a tiny apartment with an angry cat named Jeter that isn’t technically his. But before long he needs to go back to Omaha to say good-bye to his dying grandfather.Back home, Andy is confronted with his past, which includes his ex, his ex’s new boyfriend, his right-wing talk-radio-host mother, his parents’ crumbling marriage, and his still-angry best friend.As if these old problems weren’t enough, Andy encounters an entirely new complication: Daisy. She has fifteen tattoos, no job, and her own difficult past. But she claims she is the only person who can help Andy be happy again, if only she weren’t hiding a huge secret that will mess things up even more. Andy Carter needs a second chance at life, and Daisy—and the person Daisy pushes Andy to become—may be his last chance to set things right.

    For centuries, the Heterodyne family of inventors kept the peace, but the last Heterodyne disappeared twenty years ago, leaving their ally Baron Klaus Wulfenbach to maintain order with his fleet of airships and army of unstoppable, if not very bright, Jaeger Monsters.At Transylvania Polygnostic University, Agatha Clay dreams of being a scientist herself, but her trouble concentrating dooms her to be a lowly minion at best. When her locket, a family heirloom, is stolen, Agatha shows signs of having the Spark in a spectacular, destructive fashion and captures the attention of the Baron—and the Baron's handsome young son, Gilgamesh.Swept up to the Baron's Airship City, Agatha finds herself in the midst of the greatest minds of her generation, as well as palace intrigue, dashing heroes, and an imperial cat. Agatha may be the most brilliant mind of her generation and the key to control of the continent, but first, she just has to survive.

    Stan Powers finds himself at a crossroads. Poised to take the last step in his unlikely ascent to the top of conservative talk radio, his conscience may not let him. Set amid the backdrop of "the most important presidential election of our lifetime," Powers - as the most influential voice in Tampa's hotly contested I-4 Corridor - holds the key to Florida, and therefore the Oval Office. His on-air attacks singlehandedly put an abrupt end to the top candidates' main competitors in the primaries, and now he is in the singular position to influence who wins the highest elected office in the world. Will he continue playing the game according to his cynical advisors, or listen to his own conscience and drop an even bigger bomb than expected? With a story that could have been ripped from the headlines, deeply developed characters and interconnected plotlines, and one of the most shocking and rewarding denouements you'll ever experience, this is the perfect political thriller for today's America.

    Aside from issue 1, all of these issues are permanently out of print! PLUS: 2 new pages and a new "cleaned up" look to issue 3. Foreword and scathing letters column by Dan Harmon. Idiot guide to the cast list and Jeff's samples. Scud's top ten influences. Fan mail. Fan art. Fan-tastic book.

    With her mom in prison, and her father AWOL, Katie is sent to live with a squeaky-clean family who could have their own sitcom. She launches a full-scale plan to get sent back to the girls’ home when she finds herself in over her head...and heart. When Katie and her new "wrong crowd" get into significant trouble at school, she finds her punishment is restoring a historic theater with a crazy grandma who goes by the name of Mad Maxine. In the midst of her punishment, Katie uncovers family secrets that run deep, and realizes she's not the only one with a pain-filled past. Katie must decide if she'll continue her own family’s messed up legacy or embrace a new beginning in this place called In Between.

    Some of your favorite inspirational authors have come together in this collection of all-new novellas.From light-hearted romance to laugh-out-loud love, this set will put a smile on your face and keep you reading long into the night.Jane by the Book by award-winning author Pepper BashamShe lives by the plans. He talks to imaginary characters. Can they team up to solve a family mystery?Crossed Out by USA Today bestselling author Christina CoryellRuth Erickson always spends her morning break doing the crossword puzzle. Tate Darrow just messed it up. What’s that old saying about love and war?If She Dares by Mikal DawnHe’s a board game champion, but can he win her heart?Definitely by award-winning author Heather GrayDating isn’t on her to-do list. Dating a pastor? Definitely not.Under the Honey Moon by Jessica R. PatchA honeymoon cottage reunites a pair of childhood friends. Can it offer them a future filled with happily-ever-after?A (wildly) Wonderful Wedding by Krista PhillipsThey may be the worst maid of honor and best man in the history of weddings…Save the Last Word by award-winning author Betsy St. AmantWhen conventional meets creative, who will get the last word?The Long Game by award-winning author Laurie TomlinsonWhoever said all is fair in love and war never dealt with small-town football…

    With nowhere else to turn, the boys move into an anime clubhouse where five crazed yaoi fangirls call the shots!Elle's obsessively high-strung, Nina's too laid back for her own good, Jessica's a total tease, Maria's a shy and reserved bookworm, and Morgan's just plain bonkers! Toss 'em all together and you've got a harem comedy that's truly like none other!Seven Seas is pleased to present this omnibus edition which contains Volumes 1 and 2 of Aoi House in one affordable collection!

    Love can be shit. Whatever has happened to you, whatever will happen to you, whatever might happen to you, whatever hasn't happened to you, well . . . you're not alone. Andre Jordan's drawings and prose are culled from a life of heartache and unrequited love. Simple, sad, clever, and darkly hilarious, they tell of both dismal places and hopeful realizations.

    She's also about six stone overweight. When she realises she can't cross her legs, has trouble bending over to tie her shoelaces without wheezing like an elderly chain-smoker, and discovers that even her hands and feet look fat, it's time to take action. But what action? She's tried every diet under the sun. This six-book series is the hysterical story of what happens when Mary joins 'Fat Club' where she meets a cast of funny characters and one particular man who catches her eye. The story is laugh-out-loud funny and will resonate with anyone who has dieted, tried to keep up with any sort of exercise programme or spent 10 minutes in a changing room trying to extricate herself from a way too-small garment that she ambitiously tried on and is now completely stuck in. Bernice Bloom is the big, new name in comedy writing...this is the first installment of her great new series of laugh-out-loud mini books.

    

    This omnibus brings together the first three Reginald Perrin novels containing a lifetime's outrageous and hilarious adventures.When we first meet Reggie, he is sick to death with selling exotic ices at Sunshine Desserts. Driven to desperation by the rat race and the unpunctuality of Britain's trains, Reggie's small eccentricites escalate to the extreme, until finally he leaves the unacceptable face of capitalism behind by driving off in a stolen motorised jelly. In his pursuit of the unconventional, he devotes himself to faking his own death, opening a shop devoted to selling completely useless goods, and setting up a commune strictly for the middle-class and middle-aged.Join Reggie, who didn't get where he is today without some help from some memorable supporting characters, in one man's quest to avoid an everyday existence.

    They were asked to take off all their clothes and hold very still in a fetal position until they felt a painful tingling sensation. Then they vanished. They would awake to find themselves apart, and inside their younger bodies—driven to find each other and change history for the better. Their faithful guide on this journey is Samuel L. Jackson, a brilliant actor from the present who appears in the form of an augmented reality that only they can see and hear. And thus, they find themselves leaping through time, striving to right injustice wherever they find it, looking for a world which they can proudly call home.A visual feast that’s both graphic and novel, this book is a love letter to cheesy science fiction and the two men who can still be counted on to inspire us.  Featuring comics produced by Titmouse Inc (Big Mouth, The Venture Bros.), it’s 224 pages of adventure that will melt your snowflake brain and give you hope for humanity at the same time.

    One lonely woman. One mysterious man. Not all secret admirers write poetry.As intrigued and aroused as she is frightened and appalled by the continuous stream of profound-yet-perverse letters arriving in her office mailbox, shy wallflower Amelia Hill, thinks she’s going insane. Notes turn to text messages, luring her to meet the elusive stranger in a room as dark and hidden as his intentions. Once there, Amelia realizes gut instincts should be heard louder than the deceptive call of temptation. Will one night be enough, or too much? Erotic stand-alone. No cliffy. 32,000+ Words