From the author of Semi-Tough, the hilarious continuing adventures of Billy Clyde Puckett—injured football player and TV sports commentator—featuring his wife, the former Barbara Jane Bookman, and his old friend, Shake Tiller.

    May 1813. Under covering fire from their navy on Lake Ontario, U.S. troops storm ashore at Niagara. Captain John MacLea and his reformed company of militia fight desperately but they and the other defenders are overwhelmed and forced to retreat.The American force is mightier than it has ever been, spearheaded by Colonel Peter Beauregard, a ruthless spy-master, and James Boydell, a Canadian captain, former friend of MacLea's, and traitor to his country.As the invading army closes in, and with no time left, the hope of an entire army, and all of its men, rests on the shoulders of the most unexpected of people. Failure is not an option. They must succeed, or face total defeat. A brutal, moving action-adventure thriller, steeped in intricate historical research, perfect for fans of Adrian Goldsworthy, Bernard Cornwell and Simon Scarrow.

    Prose that actually feels like the 21st century. Rare. Exhilarating. I love this work.”–Mark Leyner, author of the The Sugar Frosted Nutsack“Heiko Julien’s prose pieces, poems and fragments are where the Buddha meets the internet—the trope of the shark, the void and the triangle in a state of simultaneous orgasm with the holes we feel we need to fill, the terrifying reality, the wanting to be a man of the people (but slightly better than the people) and the fear. Julien is a writer who never says ‘or’ only ‘and.’ This book is non-duality at its most neon.”–Melissa Broder, author of Meat Heart and Scarecrone“What’s constant in Heiko Julien’s work is that he’s engaging directly and nakedly with his experience of being a human being. He’s a poet in the old sense: he’s trying hard to find wisdom and truth, like Socrates or something. That’s an important aspect of literature to keep alive as we move forward into the forms of the Internet. Heiko Julien is a model of someone who refuses to live an unexamined life.”–Steve Roggenbuck, internet bard“I feel excited about Heiko’s writing and I don’t feel excited about many other things I think.”–Ben Brooks, author of Grow Up and Lolito

    They aspire, they plot, they hope, they destroy, they fail, they love. These wonderful small stories animate new realities and make us see our reality anew. Reading Alomar’s sly moral fables and sharp political allegories, the reader always sits up a little straighter, and a little wiser. Here is the title story:Some of the teeth of the comb were envious of the class differences that exist between humans. They strived desperately to increase their height, and, when they succeeded, began to look with disdain on their colleagues below.After a little while the comb’s owner felt a desire to comb his hair. But when he found the comb in this state he threw it in the garbage.