Inside, you'll find hundreds of jokes that are guaranteed to stir up a room full of smiles, including knock-knocks, witty puns, and one-liners. Complete with hilarious quotes from celebrities like Jon Stewart, Lewis Black, and Jerry Seinfeld, everyone will revel in each gut-busting moment.So whether you're looking to add a few jokes to your repertoire, impress your buds, or improve your banter, this sidesplitting book arms you with the perfect joke for any occasion!

    Why is this open-source tool so popular? Because it automates a tedious task: persisting your Java objects to a relational database. The inevitable mismatch between your object-oriented code and the relational database requires you to write code that maps one to the other. This code is often complex, tedious and costly to develop. Hibernate does the mapping for you.Not only that, Hibernate makes it easy. Positioned as a layer between your application and your database, Hibernate takes care of loading and saving of objects. Hibernate applications are cheaper, more portable, and more resilient to change. And they perform better than anything you are likely to develop yourself."Hibernate in Action" carefully explains the concepts you need, then gets you going. It builds on a single example to show you how to use Hibernate in practice, how to deal with concurrency and transactions, how to efficiently retrieve objects and use caching.The authors created Hibernate and they field questions from the Hibernate community every day-they know how to make Hibernate sing. Knowledge and insight seep out of every pore of this book."What's Inside"- ORM concepts- Getting started- Many real-world tasks- The Hibernate application development process

    This bestseller talks to readers at their level, explaining every aspect of how to get started and learn the C language quickly. Readers also find out where to learn more about C. This book includes tear-out reference card of C functions and statements, a hierarchy chart, and other valuable information. It uses special icons, notes, clues, warnings, and rewards to make understanding easier. And the clear and friendly style presumes no programming knowledge.

    After a year of self-study, I learned to program well enough to land a job as a software engineer II at eBay. Once I got there, I realized I was severely under-prepared. I was overwhelmed by the amount of things I needed to know but hadn't learned yet. My journey learning to program, and my experience at my first job as a software engineer were the inspiration for this book. This book is not just about learning to program; although you will learn to code. If you want to program professionally, it is not enough to learn to code; that is why, in addition to helping you learn to program, I also cover the rest of the things you need to know to program professionally that classes and books don't teach you. "The Self-taught Programmer" is a roadmap, a guide to take you from writing your first Python program, to passing your first technical interview. I divided the book into five sections: 1. Start to program in Python 3 and build your first program.2. Learn Object-oriented programming and create a powerful Python program to get you hooked.3. Learn to use tools like Git, Bash, and regular expressions. Then use your new coding skills to build a web scraper.4. Study Computer Science fundamentals like data structures and algorithms.5. Finish with best coding practices, tips for working with a team, and advice on landing a programming job.You CAN learn to program professionally. The path is there. Will you take it?

    The key, as the authors show, is to integrate regularly and often using continuous integration (CI) practices and techniques. The authors first examine the concept of CI and its practices from the ground up and then move on to explore other effective processes performed by CI systems, such as database integration, testing, inspection, deployment, and feedback. Through more than forty CI-related practices using application examples in different languages, readers learn that CI leads to more rapid software development, produces deployable software at every step in the development lifecycle, and reduces the time between defect introduction and detection, saving time and lowering costs. With successful implementation of CI, developers reduce risks and repetitive manual processes, and teams receive better project visibility. The book covers How to make integration a "non-event" on your software development projects How to reduce the amount of repetitive processes you perform when building your software Practices and techniques for using CI effectively with your teams Reducing the risks of late defect discovery, low-quality software, lack of visibility, and lack of deployable software Assessments of different CI servers and related tools on the market The book's companion Web site, www.integratebutton.com, provides updates and code examples

    What You Will Learn Design and implement a series of server-side JavaScript patterns so you understand why and when to apply them in different use case scenarios Understand the fundamental Node.js components and use them to their full potential Untangle your modules by organizing and connecting them coherently Reuse well-known solutions to circumvent common design and coding issues Deal with asynchronous code with comfort and ease Identify and prevent common problems, programming errors, and anti-patterns In Detail Node.js is a massively popular software platform that lets you use JavaScript to easily create scalable server-side applications. It allows you to create efficient code, enabling a more sustainable way of writing software made of only one language across the full stack, along with extreme levels of reusability, pragmatism, simplicity, and collaboration. Node.js is revolutionizing the web and the way people and companies create their software.In this book, we will take you on a journey across various ideas and components, and the challenges you would commonly encounter while designing and developing software using the Node.js platform. You will also discover the "Node.js way" of dealing with design and coding decisions.The book kicks off by exploring the fundamental principles and components that define the platform. It then shows you how to master asynchronous programming and how to design elegant and reusable components using well-known patterns and techniques. The book rounds off by teaching you the various approaches to scale, distribute, and integrate your Node.js application.

    Through example code, this guide demonstrates how CoffeeScript abstracts JavaScript, providing syntactical sugar and preventing many common errors. You’ll learn CoffeeScript’s syntax and idioms step by step, from basic variables and functions to complex comprehensions and classes.Written by Alex MacCaw, author of JavaScript Web Applications (O’Reilly), with contributions from CoffeeScript creator Jeremy Ashkenas, this book quickly teaches you best practices for using this language—not just on the client side, but for server-side applications as well. It’s time to take a ride with the little language that could.Discover how CoffeeScript’s syntax differs from JavaScriptLearn about features such as array comprehensions, destructuring assignments, and classesExplore CoffeeScript idioms and compare them to their JavaScript counterpartsCompile CoffeeScript files in static sites with the Cake build systemUse CommonJS modules to structure and deploy CoffeeScript client-side applicationsExamine JavaScript’s bad parts—including features CoffeeScript was able to fix

    With compassion, humor, insight, and practical wisdom born of firsthand experience, Galit Breen makes a compelling case for online decency. What would happen if parents and kids everywhere could read these 10 simple rules of conduct, learn them by heart, and live by them each and every time they log in? The world would change dramatically--and for the good of us all."--Katrina Kenison, author of Mitten Strings for God and The Gift of an Ordinary DayIf kindness wins, accountability rules. The need for this mantra is never clearer than when scrolling through posts and comments online.Approximately four out of ten kids (42 percent) have experienced cyberbullying. When we were young, our bullies weren't usually strangers. They were the kids who passed mean notes about us in class, the ones who didn't let us sit at their table during lunch, and the ones who tripped us in the hallway or embarrassed us in gym class. Cyberbullying isn't all that different from the playground bullying of our youth and nightmares. But with social media, our bullies have nonstop access to us--and our kids. In fact, we're often "friends" with our bullies online.When freelance writer Galit Breen's kids hinted that they'd like to post, tweet, and share photos on Instagram, Breen took a look at social media as a mom and as a teacher and quickly realized that there's a ridiculous amount of kindness terrain to teach and explain to kids―and some adults―before letting them loose online. So she took to her pen and wrote a how-to book for parents who are tackling this issue with their kids.Kindness Wins covers ten habits to directly teach kids as they're learning how to be kind online. Each section is written in Breen's trademark parent-to-parent-over-coffee style and concludes with resources for further reading, discussion starters, and bulleted takeaways. She ends the book with two contracts―one to share with peers and one to share with kids. Just like we needed to teach our children how to walk, swim, and throw a ball, we need to teach them how to maneuver kindly online. This book will help you do just that.

    From explaining port scanning basics for novices to detailing low-level packet crafting methods used by advanced hackers, this book suits all levels of security and networking professionals. A 42-page reference guide documents every Nmap feature and option, while the rest of the book demonstrates how to apply those features to quickly solve real-world tasks. Examples and diagrams show actual communication on the wire. Topics include subverting firewalls and intrusion detection systems, optimizing Nmap performance, and automating common networking tasks with the Nmap Scripting Engine. Hints and instructions are provided for common uses such as taking network inventory, penetration testing, detecting rogue wireless access points, and quashing network worm outbreaks. Nmap runs on Windows, Linux, and Mac OS X.Nmap's original author, Gordon "Fyodor" Lyon, wrote this book to share everything he has learned about network scanning during more than 11 years of Nmap development. Visit http: //nmap.org/book for more information and sample chapters.

    The Web is awash in Ruby code that is now virtually impossible to change or extend. This text helps you solve that problem by using powerful real-world object-oriented design techniques, which it thoroughly explains using simple and practical Ruby examples. Sandi Metz has distilled a lifetime of conversations and presentations about object-oriented design into a set of Ruby-focused practices for crafting manageable, extensible, and pleasing code. She shows you how to build new applications that can survive success and repair existing applications that have become impossible to change. Each technique is illustrated with extended examples, all downloadable from the companion Web site, poodr.info. The first title to focus squarely on object-oriented Ruby application design, Practical Object-Oriented Design in Ruby will guide you to superior outcomes, whatever your previous Ruby experience. Novice Ruby programmers will find specific rules to live by; intermediate Ruby programmers will find valuable principles they can flexibly interpret and apply; and advanced Ruby programmers will find a common language they can use to lead development and guide their colleagues. This guide will help you Understand how object-oriented programming can help you craft Ruby code that is easier to maintain and upgrade Decide what belongs in a single Ruby class Avoid entangling objects that should be kept separate Define flexible interfaces among objects Reduce programming overhead costs with duck typing Successfully apply inheritance Build objects via composition Design cost-effective tests Solve common problems associated with poorly designed Ruby code

    And considering that the "one man" is Neal Stephenson, "the hacker Hemingway" (Newsweek) -- acclaimed novelist, pragmatist, seer, nerd-friendly philosopher, and nationally bestselling author of groundbreaking literary works (Snow Crash, Cryptonomicon, etc., etc.) -- the word is well worth hearing. Mostly well-reasoned examination and partial rant, Stephenson's In the Beginning... was the Command Line is a thoughtful, irreverent, hilarious treatise on the cyber-culture past and present; on operating system tyrannies and downloaded popular revolutions; on the Internet, Disney World, Big Bangs, not to mention the meaning of life itself.

    Building on the successful top-down approach of previous editions, this fourth edition continues with an early emphasis on application-layer paradigms and application programming interfaces, encouraging a hands-on experience with protocols and networking concepts.

    What I eat. And how I stay lean. If you are over the age of 50 there is no better time to get VERY FIT!! And have the body you truly desire despite your age!!Fitness over 50: Weekly Workout Plan! by Christopher Quinn

    Learn how easy it is to handle data as self-contained JSON-style documents, rather than as records in a relational database.Explore ways that document-oriented storage will work for your projectLearn how MongoDB’s schema-free data model handles documents, collections, and multiple databasesExecute basic write operations, and create complex queries to find data with any criteriaUse indexes, aggregation tools, and other advanced query techniquesLearn about monitoring, security and authentication, backup and repair, and moreSet up master-slave and automatic failover replication in MongoDBUse sharding to scale MongoDB horizontally, and learn how it impacts applicationsGet example applications written in Java, PHP, Python, and Ruby

    Legendary testing expert James Whittaker, until recently a Google testing leader, and two top Google experts reveal exactly how Google tests software, offering brand-new best practices you can use even if you're not quite Google's size...yet! Breakthrough Techniques You Can Actually Use Discover 100% practical, amazingly scalable techniques for analyzing risk and planning tests...thinking like real users...implementing exploratory, black box, white box, and acceptance testing...getting usable feedback...tracking issues...choosing and creating tools...testing "Docs & Mocks," interfaces, classes, modules, libraries, binaries, services, and infrastructure...reviewing code and refactoring...using test hooks, presubmit scripts, queues, continuous builds, and more. With these techniques, you can transform testing from a bottleneck into an accelerator-and make your whole organization more productive!