Or it might actually play into a later book with funny talk about men's vs. women's abilities and capabilities. There is ABSOLUTELY cursing in this book. LOTS of upset cursing, cursing out of anger, fear, and other emotional issues related to carnivorous alien flora or fauna eating humans who don’t say ‘darn.’ LOTS of gratuitous cursing just because the author finds it funny, too. There is death and sadness...and more death. In fact, it’s a blender of blood out in the ZOO. Man vs. Alien nature seems to justify ugly results. Plus, people have emotional hangups. Expect to smile, laugh, cry, and perhaps have a spate of jealousy or two. Further, there might be explicit sex, thank you sex, and you're welcome sex. Finally, there is no Coke in the ZOO.  That is probably the worst and most offensive trait in these stories. This is Michael Todd, and I approve of the shenanigans pulled in ZOO stories.---- Join Salinger Jacobs as he learns about the ZOO, how to stay alive and the opportunities that being a part of the ZOO has brought him. The future is looking interesting and humorous, except for the death part. Go up and click on the 'Read Now' button and enter the ZOO. FIRST THREE TITLES in BIRTH OF HEAVY METALBOOK 01 - HE WAS NOT PREPAREDBOOK 02 - SHE IS HIS WITNESSBOOK 03 - BIG ASSED GLOBAL KEGGERFIRST THREE TITLES in APOCALYPSE PAUSEDBOOK 01 - FIGHT FOR LIFE AND DEATHBOOK 02 - GET RICH OR DIE TRYINGBOOK 03 - BACKSTABBING LITTLE ASSETSFIRST FOUR TITLES in SOLDIERS OF FORTUNE AND FAMEBOOK 01 - NOBODY'S FOOLBOOK 02 - NOBODY LIVES FOREVERBOOK 03 - NOBODY DRINKS THAT MUCHBOOK 04 - NOBODY REMEMBERS BUT US

    She can't see colors, memories have been erased, and her friends all hate her. And then there's Jesse, who she loves, but who refuses to forgive her the one mistake she made long ago.Just when she thinks it can't get any worse, the visions begin. In them, she sees a faceless serial killer roaming the streets. While the police believe that there have been a lot of accidents in town lately, Abby knows differently. And she soon realizes that it's up to her to find him. But to stop him, she'll have to confront more than just the killer. She'll have to face something else that was lost in those dark waters: the truth.

    In a typical week he works as a police officer, lawyer and doctor and still finds time to murder someone and drink their blood. He used to feel guilty about the killings, but now he restricts himself to only eating the worst members of society. Few people in Starside, Illinois seem to care about the untimely deaths of spam e-mailers, pushy Jehovah Witnesses and politicians. However, the barriers between Nick's three secret lives start to crumble when a mysterious man from his past arrives in town seeking revenge. Nick must move quickly to prevent the three women in his life, and the authorities who are hunting him, from discovering his terrible secret.Dark Moonlighting is the first book in the humorous series. It explores four of the biggest clichés in popular culture, and it pokes fun at a number of popular television shows including Law & Order, Bones and House. It also takes a more realistic and amusing approach to the vampire cliché. For example, the average human has the equivalent of five Big Gulps worth of blood in their body. Nick takes twenty minutes to kill someone and, like the vampire bat, must immediately urinate afterwards.

    Technically. For a few minutes. The diagnosis: heart attack at age thirty. Revived with no memory of any tunnels, lights, or angels, Jim wonders what—if anything—awaits us on the other side.Then a ghost shows up. Maybe. Jim and his new wife, Annie, find themselves tangling with holograms, psychics, messages from the beyond, and a machine that connects the living and the dead. As Jim and Annie journey through history and fumble through faith, they confront the specter of loss that looms for anyone who dares to fall in love. Funny, fiercely original, and gracefully moving, The Afterlives will haunt you. In a good way.

    A note instructs him to see a Dr. Randle immediately, who informs him that he is undergoing yet another episode of acute memory loss that is a symptom of his severe dissociative disorder. Eric's been in Dr. Randle's care for two years -- since the tragic death of his great love, Clio, while the two vacationed in the Greek islands.But there may be more to the story, or it may be a different story altogether. As Eric begins to examine letters and papers left in the house by "the first Eric Sanderson," a staggeringly different explanation for what is happening to Eric emerges, and he and the reader embark on a quest to recover the truth and escape the remorseless predatory forces that threatens to devour him.The Raw Shark Texts is a kaleidoscopic novel about the magnitude of love and the devastating effect of losing that love. It will dazzle you, it will move you, and will leave an indelible imprint like nothing you have read in a long time.

    Moonlight falls through the dense woods that surround a one-room cabin, where a nine-year-old Abraham Lincoln kneels at his suffering mother's bedside. She's been stricken with something the old-timers call "Milk Sickness.""My baby boy..." she whispers before dying.Only later will the grieving Abe learn that his mother's fatal affliction was actually the work of a vampire.When the truth becomes known to young Lincoln, he writes in his journal, "henceforth my life shall be one of rigorous study and devotion. I shall become a master of mind and body. And this mastery shall have but one purpose..." Gifted with his legendary height, strength, and skill with an ax, Abe sets out on a path of vengeance that will lead him all the way to the White House.While Abraham Lincoln is widely lauded for saving a Union and freeing millions of slaves, his valiant fight against the forces of the undead has remained in the shadows for hundreds of years. That is, until Seth Grahame-Smith stumbled upon The Secret Journal of Abraham Lincoln, and became the first living person to lay eyes on it in more than 140 years.Using the journal as his guide and writing in the grand biographical style of Doris Kearns Goodwin and David McCullough, Seth has reconstructed the true life story of our greatest president for the first time-all while revealing the hidden history behind the Civil War and uncovering the role vampires played in the birth, growth, and near-death of our nation.

    Even amongst those who the world segregates as potential weapons, Nat is shunned for her telepathic abilities; until she finds her opportunity to make a difference in their tiny world as an enforcer.Part of a new experimental team, Nathalee must wade through muddied mental waters if they hope to put a stop to the illusions which are coming to violent, life-ruining ends. The suspect pool is large and powerful, but the repercussions of failure put everyone she knows and loves at risk. With so many possibilities of both suspects and victims, Nat will test the limits of her ability -and her sanity- in order to track the illusionist and stop their tyranny.

    I am a necromancer, an ability feared and hated as much as the powers my master and I set ourselves against. We've vanquished many evils, but now something is releasing an old darkness, forcing us to hunt an enemy beyond anything I’ve faced before. I was already busy enough with vampires, fairies, witches, Watchers, weddings, and … damn, I need a vacation.Wolves and the River of Stone (Book 2) Philip, Zola’s boyfriend from one hundred and fifty years ago, is not nearly as dead as we thought. I really wish he was. Not only has he kidnapped Zola, but he’s raising an army to scour humanity from the earth. Hopefully the local werewolf pack will help. What could possibly go wrong?Winter's Demon (Book 3) Some things can never be undone. The horrors I've defeated—or even caused—with my own hands … they are nothing compared to what’s coming. Philip Pinkerton has brought his madness upon my family, my own blood. His army of necromancers is on the move, harbingers of a great darkness. I fear the war has begun... and damn, I don't get paid enough for this.

    Xanthe has always had an affinity with some of the antiques she finds. When she touches them, she can sense something of the past they come from and the stories they hold. So when she has an intense connection to a beautiful silver chatelaine she has to know more.It’s while she’s examining the chatelaine that she’s transported back to the seventeenth century. And shortly after, she's confronted by a ghost who reveals that this is where the antique has its origins. The ghost tasks Xanthe with putting right the injustice in its story to save an innocent girl’s life, or else it’ll cost her Flora’s.While Xanthe fights to save her amid the turbulent days of 1605, she meets architect Samuel Appleby. He may be the person who can help her succeed. He may also be the reason she can’t bring herself to leave.With its rich historical detail, strong mother-daughter relationship, and picturesque English village, The Little Shop of Found Things is poised to be a strong start to this new series.

    Plagued by phantoms since her parents' death, she just wants the apparitions to stop so she can be normal. She's tried everything, but the visions keep coming back.So when her well-meaning brother brings in a consultant from a secretive organization called the Hourglass, Emerson's willing to try one last cure. But meeting Michael Weaver may not only change her future, it may also change her past.Who is this dark, mysterious, sympathetic guy, barely older than Emerson herself, who seems to believe every crazy word she says? Why does an electric charge seem to run through the room whenever he's around? And why is he so insistent that he needs her help to prevent a death that never should've happened?

    . .But after a scandalous Hollywood divorce, Blythe Stowe considered it damage control for body and soul. The pain, the humiliation, the daily tabloids shouting details as her famous husband dumped her for her own sister demanded a serious getaway: to the wild coast of Cornwall and a cottage by the sea that her Wyoming grandmother claimed had been home to her ancestors.Some might call it chance . . .But Blythe encountered more than just a quaint retreat nestled amid vivid skies and gorgeous ocean. And she had the odd sensation that her wickedly handsome neighbor Lucas Teague was more than a British gentleman going broke. He might be her destiny . . .

    Toby has been waiting for years to finally get his chance to see the game, but after server problems and issues with the download he only has a few minutes to do so before real life calls. And nothing seems to go right. His first glimpses of the world leave him confused, and it turns out he isn’t alone. Someone has broken into the server and changed things to suit themselves. Everyone has only one character, one life, and an impossible goal: make it to the end in a week. Everyone is mortal, and everyone is a killer. It’s open season on other players. The man who usurped the world chose Toby to be the champion of this cause, despite his lack of knowledge of game… or perhaps because of it. He is given a terrible weapon, the only one capable of setting things right. Yet he is just as mortal as everyone else. Or worse, as his character remains in the world even if he logs out. But with the future of their hard work on the line, the developers are not about to sit out of this fight. Their game, their reputation, and their very company are on the line. With Toby’s help they take up the challenge and fight to reclaim their world.

    Decades later, the existence of ice beds at the lunar south pole was discovered by NASA’s space probe Clementine and confirmed by the lunar satellite Lunar Prospector. Now, author and Apollo missions historian Shane Johnson explores the fantastic possibilities of what might have transpired, had the more ambitious version of the Apollo program gone forward as originally planned. It is February, 1975. Apollo 19, the last of the manned lunar missions, has successfully landed. Exhilarated and confident, Commander Gary Lucas and Lunar Module pilot Charlie Shepherd set out to explore a vast, mysterious depression at the lunar south pole.There, in the icy darkness–where temperatures reach 334 degrees below zero–the astronauts search for the fragments of crystalline bedrock the scientists back home had hoped for. But when tragedy strikes, the men are driven deeper into the lethal realm, where they find much more than they bargained for, including a strange machine that seemingly transports Lucas back to a pre-flood Earth, and startling evidence that could transform mankind’s perspective on all creation and its Creator– if only the men could miraculously make their way back home to earth to reveal it.

    Little does Tal know the “helpless” female he’s come to save is the key to peace on his war-torn world…or that he’ll long to touch her, take her, make her his.Unaware of her royal roots or alien origins, Charlotte spends her first thirty years on Earth. Then Tal bursts into her life with all the subtlety of a thunder storm. He’s rude, arrogant, and easily the most desirable man she’s ever encountered. With a ruthless madman hot on their heels, they can’t afford to be distracted by the attraction rapidly growing between them, but the emotions are too powerful to ignore.Note: This book was originally published by Loose ID and was then re-edited/re-published by Cerridwen Press, both time under the same title.

    I can't control it. My mind is a mutinous SOB that takes over when I go to sleep. I'm just a girl trying to get some shut eye while it decides to throw a rager that can land me just about anywhere in the world.The base of the Eiffel Tower.The shore on the coast of Ireland.The third baseline at Wrigley Field.Sounds exciting and fun right? Wrong. My not so superpower is unpredictable, uncontrollable and annoying as hell. It's also how I met Nick.Every cloud has a silver lining. Nick is mine.Nick is extraordinary as well. He can't feel fear. Never has, never will. It's worked out for him as a PJ in the Air Force, one of the most dangerous jobs in the military, but where it's not helpful is with his social skills. Nick is cold, distant and apathetic.He's also my hero. And if he's to be believed, I'm his.I first met him when he died and that wasn't even the weirdest moment of our relationship. Neither is this moment here and now, trapped together in an island prison on the Behring Sea. It's a long, strange story between his death and this prison. One full of sheep, docks, Jabberwocks and a very special stone. I could tell it to you if you'd like to hear it. I've got time...*Contains mild language and sexual situations.