Rena Gunderschlict, an accountant with no discernible literary talent, and her band of adorable porno writing grannies came up with the worst piece of literature, (and I use that word loosely), that was ever written. Amazingly enough, it became a cult classic. Who in the hell knew there was an underground need to know and love a Time-Traveling Vampire Warlock with erectile dysfunction and his conjoined lady loves, Laverne and Shirley?Apparently the need is there and now so is the full version of their story . . .** Special Note from Author Robyn Peterman **This is a spoof. A profane romance spoof not meant for anyone under 18. I was threatened lovingly and repeatedly by my readers to write the full version of Pirate Dave. He was born of the need to create a horrific career ending romance novel to destroy a really bad, nasty villainess . . . and Thank you Buddha in a tube top, it worked! I laughed my way through writing this and I hope you will enjoy this small slice of my warped brain. NO, this is not what I normally write, but I certainly had a good time penning it! If you want to read the real romance story, you’ll have to peruse HOW HARD CAN IT BE? You’ll find the first three chapters at the end of the hot mess you’re about to read . . . And now, I give you the career ending novella, (hopefully not mine) otherwise known as PIRATE DAVE AND HIS RANDY ADVENTURES.

    She has worked hard fulfilling her role as a child prodigy and graduating college years before her peers. She’s the good girl, the brilliant girl.Unfortunately, she’s also the dateless young woman.That all changes with one phone call. Jess’s rigid, predictable life upends when she must visit a small, obscure town to deal with a relative’s death. This isn’t just any little speck of a town, though. Long lost memories come crashing down on Jess’s world when two men, the Blackard brothers, seem to lure her in. Dylan is cover model handsome, and pursues Jess the minute she comes to town. Then there is tall, dark and gorgeous Carson, who hides his own secrets behind his hardened reserve. For someone who has been governed by her own obsessive behaviors and fears, Jess lets her guard down and jumps at the opportunity to have an affair with a man she actually finds attractive for a change.There’s just one problem. Jess discovers that she can’t have a simple romantic fling because true passion does indeed come with some very big strings attached to it. She will have to own up to her own truths about love and face the two extraordinary men; both troubled in their own ways and both determined to have her.This novel contains graphic sexual content and strong language. It is intended for mature readers.

    A guitar. Really. I don't collect guys like that (don't ask what kind of guys I do collect), but when you spot a blonde, tanned, sculpted man with a gorgeous smile and his thumb poking up and practically begging you to stop – you stop.And I definitely never thought I'd be staring into the bright blue eyes of Trevor Connor, the lead singer for Random Acts of Crazy, an indie rock star I followed like the slobbering fileshare fangirl I am. How he came to be nude and lost six hundred miles from home is quite the tale, but how we fell in love is even more unreal.Because someone like Trevor Connor, headed to Harvard Law next year, isn't supposed to want someone like me, a rural Ohio chick majoring in Boredom at Convenience Store University who is all curves and frizzy blonde hair and manners so unpolished they have sharp edges that make you bleed.But he did.When his best friend, Joe Ross, the bass player for Random Acts of Crazy and a man who makes Calvin Klein models look like Shrek, drove eleven hours through the night to rescue him, though, it got real complicated. It's one thing to like two different guys and be torn.What do you do, though, when maybe – just maybe – you don't have to choose?As my Aunt Josie says sometimes, "It's always complicated."* * * * * *Random Acts of Crazy is a standalone, full-length novel (300+ pages, 85,000 words) featuring Darla Jo(sephine) Jennings, the 22-year-old niece of Josie Mendham from the Her Two Billionaires series. It has, like many New Adult novels, an exploration of sexuality for the three main characters, doesn't shy away from mature content, and Darla has a sailor's mouth.

    The connection was warm, complicated, and came to a crashing end when she walked in on her two forbidden friends with another woman. The shocking scene of sex and bondage has haunted her boring, oh-so-vanilla life ever since.The fallout from that night tore Tyler's life apart. He left Mapleglen, disowned and disgraced, to build a successful advertising career and a unique relationship with Nick. Nothing could bring him back except his sister's wedding, and he plans to hightail it back to Chicago as soon as it's over. At least one good thing hasn't changed: Kaelin is as sweet as ever. Except she doesn't seem too thrilled to hear it.As tensions run high, Kaelin can't resist the temptation to commit one crazy act of rebellion. Once the web of secrets, sins and lies starts to unravel, though, their lives will never be the sameWarning: This book contains a nice girl who gets her naughty on with two hot men. M/M/F and M/M scenes may cause an increase in body temperature, pulse rate and respiration. Read with caution! For adult use only.

    My entire life has been a struggle for me. But I'm almost through the hard times, nearly done with nursing school so I can build a better life than the one I was given. I'm so ready to move from full-time waitressing to a professional nursing career. Until....disaster strikes just as I enter the home stretch. Through no fault of my own, I'm about to be homeless, and I'll end up kissing all my dreams goodbye unless some kind of wonderful,surprise event occurs, and great things just don't happen to a girl like me. Or so I thought...until a miracle shows up in the form of the mysterious, stubborn, handsome, alpha billionaire, Simon Hudson. He makes me a bargain that's almost impossible not to accept when I'm looking at homelessness, and giving up everything I've worked so hard to achieve. Do I dare trust a wealthy mystery man that I don't even know? Simon has secrets and hidden pain that inexplicably draws me to him, but once I'm caught up in his web, will he ever let me go?

    No sooner does she arrive, however, than she’s arrested and threatened with immediate deportation unless she agrees to work for Maid for It, a company providing specialty housekeeping services to high-end clients. Gabi soon realizes the “specialty” services she must provide will be of a sexual nature. She should refuse, but she can’t risk deportation. Prostitution is preferable to death.Her first assignment is in the home of Benjamin Hardcastle, a wealthy and reclusive computer security expert. He’s also Maid for It‘s most exacting client. Determined to please the heretofore unpleasable Mr. Hardcastle, Gabi keeps her past a secret. If he discovers the truth—that she’s been coerced into the role of sexual slave—he’ll send her away.But what begins as a unwelcome obligation becomes an awakening to the incredible pleasures of domination, bondage, and submission. As Gabi discovers she truly is “made for it,” her secret looms larger, threatening her survival in an entirely unexpected way.

    Step by step, and for every step she'll unlock a piece of his system.Kissing unlocks a partition.Touching unlocks another.Using your mouth to…How far is this crazy woman going to go?They hate each other. They can't keep away from each other. They're decoding each other with every step, until all Harper's secrets are revealed, and Taylor risks losing his heart as well as his company.

    But Max has always seen her as a charming, and very sexy, little sister.Until Max's cold fiance dumps him, Anna unloads another of her many conquests and she invites him over for margaritas and Mexican food. Too much tequila, too much flirting, and too many years of fighting the attraction — Max loses control and has mind-blowing sex with Anna on her couch. And in her shower. And in her bed.When the sun rises the next morning, both of them must face that their night together is just the first of many. For Max, he knows he wants Anna forever, but convincing a commitment-phobe like Anna is no easy task. For Anna, she can't believe she has finally slipped beneath Max's steely self-control. He is every woman's dark, wet fantasy come true. But what happens when Max pushes Anna for more than just A Little Harmless Sex?This book was previously published, but has been substantially revised and expanded for Samhain Publishing.Warning: this title contains the following, explicit sex, graphic terms for body parts, torture via silk stockings, a little spanking, and shower and office sex.

    Sometimes, you need a Magnificent Bastard.Face it, ladies: love sucks and then you cry...while your ex rides off into the sunset banging your best friend. But why let a break-up end in tears when it can end with sweet revenge? Enter Magnificent Bastard Consulting and me, chief executive bastard. I've got it all--looks, brains, a heart of gold, and the killer instinct guaran-damn-teed to make your ex regret the day he said goodbye.With the help of my virtual assistant, I've built an empire giving broken-hearted women the vengeance they deserve, while keeping myself far from the front lines of the heart. Life is a bowl of cherries, until my virtual assistant shows upon my real doorstep for the first time, begging for a Magnificent Bastard intervention of her own.  Damn... She's a bona fide sex kitten. I pride myself on being a true pro, but pretending to be her lover soon leads to giving it to her good, hard, fast, and up against the wall. And somewhere between getting balls deep in my sweet and sexy assistant and watching her ex beg for a second chance, I break every last one of my damn rules--professional and personal.So what's my next move? Fight for the girl who makes me want to get up on a white horse and ride to her rescue, or stay a Magnificent Bastard to the end? Warning: MAGNIFICENT BASTARD is a stand-alone erotic romance told from the hero's point of view. No cliffhanger. Lots of dirty talk. A Sexy Flirty Dirty Standalone Romance

    United by Fate. Saved by Love... Charismatic and sexy Ayden Stone is a multi-talented media mogul by day and playboy by night, seducing and discarding women, seeking only sexual pleasure without commitment. He is looking for the love of his life, but is settling for stand-ins … then Fate intervenes.A chance meeting with shy school teacher Elizabeth Parker triggers a passionate reaction in him that he cannot explain. Unable to help himself, he is drawn to her by a kind of gravitational force. Up close, he recognises her charm and beauty and is consumed by the idea that they have met before.Unschooled in the art of seduction, Elizabeth begins her journey of sexual awakening, allowing Ayden to steer her towards deep and dangerous waters, unaware of their fateful connection. With great passion comes heartbreak, threatening their relationship and testing its limits. A dangerous figure from Elizabeth’s past returns, desperate to take back what is 'his'. Elizabeth Parker is about to be found, but will she be bound by her destiny or by her demon … The Story of Us is an epic story of love, loss and redemption. A modern day fairy-tale full of passion, unspeakable secrets and suspense.148,000 words of seduction and suspense.

    Melissa Jones is a small-town girl trying to escape her troubled past. When the two intersect in a bar in Arizona, their sexual chemistry is off the charts. But what is revealed during their "one week stand" only complicates matters. Because she'll do everything in her power to get away from the past, but he'll do everything he can to hold her. Adult Contemporary Romance: Due to strong language and sexual content, this book is not intended for readers under the age of 18. (M/F)

    Now I have to.In order to save my skin at the office, I'm forced to sell it at an exclusive and illegal blindfold club. He paid thousands of dollars for one night to own me, but when my blindfold comes off, I want more. More nights, more rules, and more from this unavailable and uncompromising man.Rule number one, no questions. Rule number two, no lies. But, rule number three? That's the hardest one to obey.

    Son of a congressman. Successful businessman in my own right. With a résumé like mine, women have never been a challenge.Until I met her. This sexy, tatted-up bad girl wasn’t part of my plans, but that punch to my gut every time I see her tells me I have to know more.She’s a mystery. An enigma. A challenge. I’m going to figure her out — and then I’m going to make her mine. We’ll find out what she’s hiding... beneath this mask.

    And the last rescuer she wants is Seth Cooper, the sizzling vacation fling who disappeared from her bedside two months before. But right now, she needs a way out — and Seth’s sailboat is it. So what if the man kisses like a pirate just back in to port? It’s not about temptation; it’s about survival. Seth Cooper has traded the rat race for life in the slow lane — the very slow lane. He’s thinking hammocks, beach bars, and siestas. But when Julie — unstoppable, unforgettable Julie — comes roaring back into his life on that battered old motorcycle of hers, one adventure after another ensues. The only thing he can be sure of is the way he feels about her — but that won’t keep either of them out of a Central American prison. Action will, but it’s not as easy as sailing off into the sunset, not with the wrong side of the law hot on their heels. * A 30,000 word Adventure Romance with adult content.*

    Rock star, producer and public enemy number one, he sees his redemption in quiet, wholesome school teacher Noelle Winters. Crashing into her life like a wrecking ball, he smothers her innocence and leads her down the razor's edge between submissive and victim, opening her eyes to things she didn't even know could happen between a man and a woman. Overwhelmed by his generosity and charm, how far will she go to save his soul? And when is it too late to turn back?* With bondage and multiple scenes of a sexual nature, this descent into the darkest parts of the human psyche is not for the faint of heart, or the under 18s.