Gary Handler has issues. His boss hates him, his mother hounds him, and his cat thinks he’s an idiot. But that’s okay because Gary’s got the perfect solution to all of life’s troubles: a porn site subscription and his right hand.Sadly, all habits grow old, even the fun ones. Gary soon finds himself at the doorstep of a creepy old pawn shop where he buys a used adult novelty toy to spice up his one-man sex life.Pity for him that it’s cursed by the angry spirits of all the “kids” he’s flushed down the toilet. Needless to say, hairy palms are about to become the least of his worries.----------Jack on, jack off ... with the Jacklight in book 2 of Shingles, the horror comedy series that’s not for those with faint hearts or weak bladders.

    Wake his kid brother Andy up, get tormented on the school bus by the cool kids, try to avoid them while in school. Except it's Field Trip Day to the Science Museum, and now he's stuck with the meanest kids in seventh grade all day! But then the bus breaks down, so he doesn't even get to do anything cool at the science museum. It's okay, because an industrial accident brings science to Todd and his friends in the form of a zombie apocalypse. When the bus driver abandons them in the middle of a zombie outbreak, Todd, his brother Andy, his best friend Tarik, and their tomboy friend Mikayla take shelter in the first place they can find - an adult novelty store. What can you find in an adult toy store to fight zombies? Well…let's just say that the field trip was pretty educational, even if the kids never made it to the museum! Shingles is the comedy horror series from the gang that brings you the Authors & Dragons podcast. Like the podcast, these books are rated Not Safe For Anything.

    

    Unfortunately, that was before two dudes wielding high-tech gadgets made off with both his kegs and his brother. Now Clyde has to hunt down his sibling with only his most trusted lackey along to help. Will he manage to recover both his beer and Dougie? Will they survive the night as they unveil the mysterious secret of the kidnappers? Will the Earth be destroyed thanks to their bumbling incompetence? Probably that last one, but you’ll have to read it to find out.

    After watching it, one of them vanishes...A heart transplant recipient gets much more than he bargained for when he digs into his donor's sinister past...Mourning the death of their son, a young couple is plunged into madness after encountering something otherworldly in the wilderness...DREAMS IN BLACK STATIC is a collection of eight terrifying stories by Ambrose Ibsen, author of The Haunting of Beacon Hill and Asylum. The tales included are:"Me and Mr. Ray" **"Decatur Road" **"Dreams in Black Static" **"Distortional Addict" **"Trim" **"Subterrane Dream" **"Orchard""The Uncanny" **** = Appearing in print for the first time

    If you knew you were going to die in two years, would you still have gone with the Volvo? So begins the first question of this interview between the recently deceased Linda and her Volvo’s Market Research representative. Over the course of the rest of the interview, listen in and roll down your window into not only a woman’s marriage but a psyche. This brilliantly woven tale shines a light on our collective idiosyncrasies, neuroses, and desires. In the tradition of Sally Rooney and Maria Semple, Alison Espach threads the needle between humor and devastation and emerges a master of observational satire and millennial voice.

    Longbottom, the Nebula Award-winning science-fiction and fantasy author and head writer of Mythic Quest. C.W. found literary fame with Inside the Caves of Beneroth and Tears of the Anaren, but even his most loyal fans don’t know that Tears of the Anaren began as a short story he wrote in the early 1970s while interning at Amazing Tales magazine.This never-before-published draft is now yours to discover, complete with C.W.’s (extremely) colorful commentary and an Introduction and Afterword by Ian Grimm, the iconoclastic creator of Mythic Quest. As sparks fly between heroic scoundrel Zeb and space seductress Merrith, we get a glimpse into the mind of a talented young man yearning for greatness. Like early Mozart, it is raw and green — but also magic.From Charlie Day, Megan Ganz, and Rob McElhenney, the Apple TV+ original comedy series, Mythic Quest, goes behind the scenes to follow the game’s creators. In a workplace focused on building worlds, molding heroes, and creating legends, the most hard-fought battles don’t occur in the game — they happen in the office. Rob McElhenney stars as Ian Grimm alongside Charlotte Nicdao and F. Murray Abraham.

    

    I Am Gypsy explores this remarkable relationship from the unique perspective of the sailboat. This is the heartwarming and heartbreaking tale of how one sailboat comes of age, realizing her potential, while watching her families fall in love, grow, falter, and sometimes fail. Gypsy’s perception of the world blossoms from the innocence of her childhood, through the adventures of her rebellious adolescence, and finally, as she confronts her mortality in the face of a mighty hurricane. Hold on to the rail as Gypsy takes you on the unforgettable and emotional voyage of a lifetime. The proceeds of this book will directly go to aid the individuals, families, and small businesses of the Emerald and Forgotten Coast regions of the Panhandle of Florida, who were so devastatingly affected by the ravages of Hurricane Michael that made landfall on October 10, 2018.

     A short story in the Oddjobs universe that tries to answer the age-old question: what Christmas present do you get for the demon who has everything?

    61 pages of summaries and analysis on Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris.This study guide includes the following sections: Plot Summary, Chapter Summaries & Analysis, Characters, Objects/Places, Themes, Style, Quotes, and Topics for Discussion.

    It also happens to sit on a weak point in the space time continuum. Which is somewhat unfortunate for Ian Faulkener, a graphic novelist from London, who was hoping for some peace and quiet in which to recuperate following a very messy breakdown. It was the cats that first alerted Ian to the fact that something was not quite right with Tinker's Cottage. Not only was he never sure just how many of them there actually were, but the mysterious way they seemed to disappear and reappear defied logic. The cats, and of course the Pope, disappearing literary agents, mislaid handymen and the insanity of Cherie Blair World. As Ian tries to untangle the mystery of the doors of Tinker's cottage he risks becoming lost forever in the myriad alternate universes predicted by Schrodinger. Not to mention his cats. Schrodinger's Cottage is a playful romp through a variety of alternate worlds peopled by an array of wonderful comic characters that are the trademark of David Luddington's novels. For fans of the sadly missed Douglas Adams, Schrodinger's Cottage will be a welcome addition to their library. A heart-warming comedy with touches of inspired lunacy that pays homage to The Hitchhiker's Guide whilst firmly treading its own path.

    At the perpetual age of 650, this is really no longer an option. The Full Moon Event Paulie Vergen is a Vampire living the daily grind of life until a fateful day when a newly infected Werewolf landed on his doorstep. All Paulie wanted was peace and quiet, but life didn't often seem to care about his plans. He's now faced with helping the poor Werewolf navigate through the Underworld in order to find the help that he needs. Bob the Zombie Bob is a Zombie who was just going about his business when a band of thieves stole his hand so that they could make a batch of Elfagra in the Upperworld. While it's bad enough that they've stolen Bob's hand for such a purpose, it comes to the Zombie's attention that if the bad guys use the wrong technique it could cause a cosmic rift that will spell the real death of Bob...not just the long, drawn out one that's part of being a Zombie. Gappy's Gadgets Gappy Whirligig is an industrious Gnome who has yet to reach the Age of Tinkering. In a flash, Gappy's life flips upside down, leaving him to make the decision to either strike out on his own or become a 42-year-old foster child. Gappy demonstrates his industrious spirit as he leaves Hubintegler's rules and regulations behind and instead seeks to make his mark in the seedy town of Planoontik.These stories get their influence from Terry Pratchett's Discworld, Robert Asprin's Myth Adventures, Monty Python, and countless other comedic mediums. This omnibus edition includes the first four books in the Tales from the Land of Ononokin series. You'll get wizards, vampires, werewolves, dwarves, elves, gnomes, orcs, ogres, giants, gorgans, humans, trolls, zombies, and more ... and it's all set in a fantastical world that will keep you giggling for weeks.

    Beckoning Fates (book 3):Was I taking this life for granted? Having this amount of power at my age had made me lose some of the sense of rationality I’d had in my former life. No longer a king, no longer tied down by rules and politics, I’d become careless. In this world, my potential was boundless.Though Arthur Leywin would like nothing more than to pursue his studies at the esteemed Xyrus Academy, where he hopes to push his already potent magical abilities to new plateaus and perhaps discover something more about his reincarnation into this world, he finds the politics of the school’s halls even more challenging to navigate than those of the council chambers he once inhabited as King Grey. Arthur faces inept professors, jealous classmates, and an overeager director while fending off the affection of an old friend and the aggression of an old enemy. Then a routine class trip into a low-level dungeon turns out to be anything but, and Arthur discovers something that will change his life forever.Horizon's Edge (book 4):In my past life I hadn’t had anyone I would have given my life to protect. I had that now, but I didn’t have the strength to protect them - not against what was about to come.In another life, Arthur Leywin was a king and no stranger to war. He was not ready, however, to find himself at the heart of a conflict that will reshape his entire new world. Despite his abilities, it seems as if the danger only increases with every discovery he makes. His oldest friend succumbs to a power that may destroy her, a power Arthur gave her. His most constant foe accepts a dark gift to challenge Arthur’s strength, an act that threatens all of Xyrus Academy. How can he keep his family safe if his very presence is the thing that draws danger to them? Can he dispel the specters of war before it is too late?©2016 TurtleMe (P)2020 Podium Publishing

    Jack Slade and Sam Healey, flying partners during World War II, establish a bush pilot business in Alaska after the war. When their C-47 Dakota is forced down on a glacier by a wolverine in the cargo deck that breaks out of its cage, they discover a valley that offers the realization each man's dreams. To Jack Slade, itOCOs the ideal place to homestead, raise a family, and live simply as a professional hunting and fishing guide; to Healey, the pool of crude oil he locates under the glacial ice promises the wealth he always wanted. In scenes that range from AlaskaOCOs coastal fishing ports to the high, fierce wastelands of the interior, we watch each man lay the plans for their individual goals?and ultimately come into fatal conflict. Along the way, they meet a wide, colorful variety of Alaskan types, including Charlie Blue, a Tlingit Indian, shaman, and seer; Norman Ormandy, the tough saloonkeeper of Gurry Bay; and Malec Mummad-Afi, a wealthy exiled Iranian oil king and sheep hunter.