It is his first job in general practice; his first brave excursion into the dangerous world where patients walk round in their clothes. Dr Vernon soon finds himself bemused, fascinated and exhausted as he copes with the procession of ailing humanity that streams into his surgery and awaits his visits. A confused old lady, timid vet, puzzled diabetic, lonely housewife, hypochondriac, tipster with an ulcer, nun with dandruff and a persistent young lady with abundant charms and nothing wrong with her. Just published as an e book, exclusive to Amazon, this book was a huge hit in England and America when first published in the 1970s. Edward Vernon is a pen name of a well known British doctor/author.Here's what the critics said about the series:Thoroughly delightful - Fresno BeeHilarious - TitbitsA delightfully funny book that keeps the reader laughing and appeals to one's sense of the ridiculous - Sunday Advocate, Baton RougeFor entertainment, a chapter or two before bedtime is just what the doctor ordered - Sacramento BeeDoes for British GPs what Herriot has done for vets - BooklistHilarious, written with skill and zest - Grimsby Evening TelegraphVery funny - Citizen, GloucesterThoroughly enjoyable, genuinely funny - South Wales EchoWise, funny, sad and heartwarming - Chattanooga TimesGood fun - Homes and GardensMost of his adventures are funny, some hilarious; but he has the good sense to leven the comedy lump with some that are sad, some touching. All are written lightly, easily, entertainingly - Oxford TimesThe funniest of the funny doctor books - Richard GordonJolly good reading - Publishers WeeklyViews the human species he treats with much the same affection, compassion and humour as Herriot brings to the animal world - Cleveland Plain DealerSometimes serious, sometimes hilarious - Lancashire Evening PostTruthful, well observed and consistently readable - Daily TelegraphPerceptive and witty - Surrey AdvertiserWill amuse, amaze and entertain - Yorkshire Postetc etc

    The Hebrew version of Matthew survives in at least twenty-eight manuscripts copied by Jewish scribes in the Middle Ages. Among the most important manuscripts of Hebrew Matthew is the one preserved in the British Museum Library. A full-color photograph of this manuscript is now available for the first time in this book. The book looks at the naming of Jesus as told in Hebrew Matthew 1:18-25 and includes the original form of Jesus' Hebrew name: Yeshua. Learn about the unique features of Hebrew Matthew, about the traditions that guided the Jewish scribes who transmitted this ancient text, and how the name Yeshua became "Jesus".

    This book shows you how to claim your share. Over 200 pages of valuable metal detecting information designed to get you out there finding treasure on your very first outing.Finding treasure with a metal detector is real and doing it is simple and easy once you read this book. There are people finding incredible old coins made from gold and silver, valuable historical relics and old jewelry made from gold, silver and platinum. But you won't find these great treasures unless you know where and how to look. Metal Detecting: A Beginner's Guide shows you this and much more.Veteran detectorist and treasure enthusiast Mark Smith continues to provide great information to anyone interested in the great hobby of metal detecting. In his second book on the subject, he manages to answer the common questions that every novice has when they are thinking about getting started. From choosing the right machine to identifying your valuable treasure, Mark Smith covers these subjects and everything in between in an easy to understand way.While this metal detecting book may be geared towards the novice treasure hunter, there are plenty of choice tips that even experienced treasure hunters can pick up. Mark Smith reveals some of his best guarded metal detecting secrets in this metal detecting guide that puts more treasure in your find's pouch.Fully illustrated diagrams and real life pictures describe in detail the easiest ways to not only locate treasure, but safely recover it as well.Learn how to find more treasure by: understanding common metal detecting terminology, understanding which metal detectors work the best and where, understanding how and why a metal detector works, other equipment you will need, proper etiquette, what you can expect to find, why you should never throw anything away, how to identify your finds, how to identify jewelry, how to tell if it is real gold, how to metal detect with children, which recovery tools work the best, how to recover treasure, how to metal detect private property, how to identify unknown metal detecting finds, metal detecting creeks, rivers and lakes, pinpointing, making weak targets stronger, cleaning your finds, the best places to use your metal detector, selling your finds and more!What are you waiting for? Find out how you can maximize your treasure with this informative metal detecting book today.

    Who Stole My Spandex? is a witty selection of stories from Doyle’s madcap world of menopausal pitfalls, wardrobe malfunctions, and a family full of pranksters. This clever compilation includes laugh-out-loud pieces like "Queen of Klutz,” "One Size Fits None," and "Hands off my Egg Roll!" From couples' colonoscopies to nightmare holidays to disappearing spandex, no topic—no matter how crazy or unimaginable—is too taboo. With a heavy dose of self-deprecating humor, and a dash of sentiment, this marvelous collection of anecdotes will resonate with anyone who’s ever felt the call of nature at exactly the wrong time. Welcome to the nuthouse that Marcia Kester Doyle calls home.

    It is filled with dozens of humorous tales of musician antics and concert meltdowns. Outsiders are rarely allowed such access, but at last you can have your own personal tour of the mystical and magical realm of professional orchestras and the people who play in them. "Real Men Don't Rehearse" was written by Justin Locke, who spent 18 seasons as a professional freelance double bassist in Boston. He played with the Boston Symphony and the Boston Pops, as well as for ballets, operas, and Broadway shows. He is also well known in the symphonic world as the author of "Peter VS. the Wolf" and "The Phantom of the Orchestra," which are internationally acclaimed programs for orchestra family concerts. This is the perfect gift for your favorite music lover! This is a book no musical library should be without!

    You'll also get to see a little of his "staycations" and life at home between travels.Jet-setting is what dachshunds do best. From Switzerland’s Alps and Mexico’s Mayan temples to Italy’s seaside villages and France’s Eiffel Tower—as well as various locales throughout the U.S. and Canada—Crusoe shares his wit and wisdom on appreciating culture, fine wine, and haute cuisine, always dressing for the occasion, and maybe learning a thing or two about what really matters most in life along the way.In hundreds of brilliant color photographs, see the charming and charismatic mini-doxie embark on such thrilling adventures as…* Hitting the streets of New York City as The Wiener of Wall Street* Stalking evildoers as Batdog * Strolling Hollywood’s Walk of Fame (with his own star)* Going out on a dinner and movie date with the lovely Paisley* Digging for fossils at Dinosaur Provincial Park* Playing doctor and dentist to his sidekick brother, Oakley* Drinking at the notorious Bar Vitelli, shooting location of The Godfather* Recovering from back surgery with lots of love and rehabilitating in style * Tasting a beignet at New Orleans’s famous Café du Monde* Exploring his German heritage as a “badger dog”—and discovering what wiener schnitzel actually is…And so much more!

    These stars allegedly use Illuminati and satanic symbolism in their music videos and on their clothes that goes unnoticed by those not “in the know.”Since these stars appear in our livings rooms on family friendly mainstream shows like Good Morning America, Ellen, and dozens of others—and are loved by virtually all the kids—they couldn’t possibly have anything to do with the infamous Illuminati or anything “satanic,” could they? Some famous musicians have even publicly denounced the Illuminati in interviews or songs.Illuminati in the Music Industry takes a close look at some of today’s hottest stars and decodes the secret symbols, song lyrics, and separates the facts from the fiction in this fascinating topic. You may never see your favorite musicians the same way ever again. Includes 50 photographs.Discover why so many artists are promoting the Illuminati as the secret to success. Why an aspiring rapper in Virginia shot his friend as an “Illuminati sacrifice” hoping it would help him become rich and famous. How and why the founder of BET Black Entertainment Television became the first African American billionaire.Why popular female pop stars like Rihanna, Christina Aguilera, Kesha and others are promoting Satanism as cool, something that was once only seen in heavy metal and rock and roll bands. Some musicians like Korn’s singer Jonathan Davis, rapper MC Hammer, Megadeth’s frontman Dave Mustaine and others, have all denounced the Illuminati and artists promoting them. Les Claypool, singer of Primus wrote a song about the Bohemian Grove.Muse singer Matt Bellamy recants his belief that 9/11 was an inside job after getting a taste of mainstream success with his album, The Resistance. Bono said he attended an Illuminati meeting with other celebrities. Was he joking or serious?Why rap and hip hop is filled with Illuminati puppets and wannabes more than other genres of music.Learn about media effects, the power of celebrity, what the externalization of the hierarchy means and how you can break free from the mental enslavement of mainstream media and music. By the author of The Illuminati: Facts & Fiction-About the Author-Mark Dice is a media analyst, author, and political activist who, in an entertaining and educational way, gets people to question our celebrity obsessed culture and the role the mainstream media and elite secret societies play in shaping our lives. Mark's YouTube channel has received over 150 million views and his viral videos have been mentioned on the Fox News Channel, CNN, the Drudge Report, TMZ, the New York Daily News, the New York Post, and other media outlets around the world.He has been featured on various television shows including the History Channel's Decoded and America's Book of Secrets, Conspiracy Theory with Jesse Ventura, Secret Societies of Hollywood on E! Channel, America Declassified on the Travel Channel, and is a frequent guest on Coast to Coast AM, The Alex Jones Show, and more.Mark Dice is the author of several popular books on secret societies and conspiracies, including The Illuminati in Hollywood, Big Brother: The Orwellian Nightmare Come True, The New World Order, Facts & Fiction, Inside the Illuminat

    Encouragement. Sanity. On any number of homeschooling days, I've needed all three. It's not that homeschooling is an unwanted chore. Homeschooling my children is one of my greatest joys. It's a privilege. I'm so incredibly blessed by this undertaking. And I'm challenged. I'm pulled. I'm stretched. I'm growing. I'm finding my reheated coffee in the microwave at 2 p.m. wondering where the morning went. Trying hard to soak up the sweet and sacred moments with these souls and miss stepping on the Lego pile in the process. Friend, I'm sure you've felt the same. The pages of Hope for the Heart of the Homeschool Mom is a collection of encouragement to prayerfully strengthen your soul for this God-given journey. A journey that's beyond stretching and beyond worth it.

    It is a comedic, self-deprecating, look into the harsh, scary, and often sad world of infertility. Hilariously Infertile will make you laugh out loud while wishing you could have a glass of wine with the author and discuss how you relate to her story is. The author pokes fun at the infertility world, with jokes, such as, equating the constant gynecological exams to her sluttiest days in college, and wondering if her husband will be home in time to stick it (the IVF ass shot) into her butt.We follow the author's journey from trying to conceive on her own, discovering she is infertile, getting pregnant, and then doing it all again for her second child. The entire journey is marked with uproarious scenes that any woman who has ever been to the gynecologist can identify with. At times, the author's candor will surely lead the reader to conclude that the outlandish stories cannot be true. But they are, all of them.Included in the journey is a chapter on being a new mom. This chapter is funny and real. It does not boast about being a parent, to those who still may be on that path; rather, it speaks candidly about the adjustment to a new life that the author worked hard to achieve, via fertility treatments, and yet still was not ready for.There is no filter for the author of Hilariously Infertile. This book tells it like it is, from sex, to infertility, to being a mother and a wife. If you have thought it somewhere deep down inside, this book says it aloud.

    But for the baseball cognoscenti, there are just a few "must-have" classics: BALL FOUR by Jim Bouton. THE LONG SEASON by Jim Brosnan. WILLIE'S TIME by Charles Einstein. And SEASONS IN HELL by Mike Shropshire, which was a hilarous first-person account of Mike's travails serving as a daily beat writer covering the hapless 1972 Texas Rangers. Now, in The Last Real Season, Shropshire captures the essence of a different time and different place in baseball, when the average salary for major leaguers was only $27,600...when the ballplayers' drug of choice was alcohol, not steroids...when major leaguers sported tight doubleknit uniforms over their long-hair and Afros...and on July 28th, 1975, the day that famed Detroit resident Jimmy Hoffa went missing, the Detroit Tigers started a losing streak of 19 games in a row. On the day that the Tigers blew a 4-run lead in the bottom of the ninth, Shropshire recalls: "I drank three bottles of Stroh's beer in less than a minute and wrote that 'Jimmy Hoffa will show up in the left field stands with Amelia Earhart as his date before the Tigers will win another game.'"And so it goes. Filled with just the kind of wonderful baseball stories that real fans crave, this is the funniest baseball book of the year.

    However, when James Aden takes up the position of Deputy Agent he does not realise the full extent of what the job entails.He finds himself spending his days negotiating with royalty, farmers, and even wildlife, as well as the imperious Lady Leghorn. In order to survive, James must come to terms with his role quickly, and not let himself get too distracted by Sophie, the pre-college assistant.

    A collection of 45 ridiculous 911 emergency calls, submitted by 911 Call Center Operators across the U.S.Dedicated to you, the Taxpayer who funded these calls.Note: A quick 10-minute read of humorous quotes from real calls.Just enough for a grin of the day!

    I’m Lottie Truman and this is my story.My life was simply tickety-boo until a neighbour’s prediction seemed to coincide with my luck running out.Join me on the path I needed to take to get me to where I am now.But don’t judge me.Because sometimes you have to make a few diversions to allow fate to push you in the right direction.

    Full of surprising facts, survey results, step-by-step strategies, inspiring teen quotes, and insightful expert essays, the guide gives readers the tools they need to appreciate their giftedness as an asset and use it to make the most of who they are. The fourth edition has been revised for a new generation of high-end learners and includes information on twice-exceptionality, emotional and social intelligence, creativity, teen brain development, managing life online, testing and standards, homeschooling, International Baccalaureate programs, college alternatives, STEM careers, cyberbullying, and other hot topics.

    But Gabe’s not alone: there’s Peter, who writes swear words in the margins of his papers; Jihyun, the Korean kid who subsists on Ho Hos and Doritos; and Camille, who follows Gabe around, trying to be his girlfriend. There’s also Gabe’s mom, who sleeps sixteen hours a day, and his dad, an elder who decides the fate of sinners (like the married couple who confesses to accidentally having anal sex). There’s Brother Miller, an elder with a Napoleon complex, who accompanies Gabe from door to door, encouraging him to knock with confidence, and Sister Feeney, who looks forward to the day she can move into a Spanish-style house after its owner dies at the end of the world. Luckily for Gabe, there is Uncle Jeff, who used to tour with Santana and now gives Gabe the only valuable girl advice he ever receives. It's hard when school days are spent dodging questions about your weird religion and weekends mean preaching house to house. Life looks dreary until Gabe falls for Camille’s beautiful older sister and begins to see her as the answer to his frustrations.