If you loved The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, then you should get your hands on this book now! Phil is private investigator; he's got a computer and a comfy chair, and he knows how to use them. He doesn't get all sweaty chasing the bad guys; not when his fingers can do the work as he sips his coffee and looks forward to a nice cool pint. He doesn't wrestle them to the ground, with a quick quip and a steely gaze; not when he can sit in his comfy chair and dream about the girl behind the bar; the one with the breasts. Then he meets the ex-wife of a missing crime lord, and everything changes. Suddenly he's squirting to distant planets, finding dead bodies, dancing with aliens, saving a world from the clutches of the cutest of aliens and, for one brief moment, he becomes the richest man in the universe. In a tale of treachery, danger, poor customer service and bad jokes, Phil is forced to put aside his relaxed 'let someone else do the work' attitude, and take up arms against the might of an alien empire (well, it's a crow bar actually, and the alien is a little girl; a very tough little girl) and somehow find a way to save the day, and Earth's most valuable commodity, and maybe even his dignity. But where does this story really start? Of course, for Phil, it’s when he first meets the ex-wife of the missing crime lord; it’s typical of him to think it all started with him. For Ben, it would be the misplaced bullet; for Millie, it was, of course, the Joke, and for Sam; well your guess is as good as mine. In reality, it started much earlier; nine years earlier, with the robbery... A laugh a minute science fiction comedy thriller, destined to be one of the decade’s Science Fiction Bestsellers, and it’s also a unique First Contact Novel. If you like your SF books with alien worlds, strangely named AI’s, really bad jokes and a Narrative Facilitator who would really rather be doing something else, then maybe you should add this to your Science Fiction and Fantasy library of Kindle books. Revised September 2015 for greater clarity and added silliness You can find other Comedy Novels & Comedy Thrillers by searching the following categories: Science Fiction Comedy First Contact Comedy thriller Comedy Mystery Books for Kindle Science Fiction Books for Adults Science Fiction and Fantasy Series Comedy Novels

    His sister claimed Oscar had rowed out to sea - but how was that possible? There is no ocean in Iowa. When, nearly a century later, Lucy Martin and her parents move from their city apartment to that same farmhouse in Iowa, it is not long before Lucy discovers the strange and dangerous BOOK OF STORY BEGININGS. And it's not long before Oscar reappears in a bizarre turn of events that sends the two distant relatives on a perilous journey to save Lucy's father. This remarkable debut fantasy novel is a thrilling page turner as well as a tribute to the writer's craft.

    Trolls, werewolves, and butter-churn riding witches lurk amid the clawing branches, eager to swoop up the unwary. Jinx has always feared leaving the path—then he meets the wizard Simon Magus. Jinx knows that wizards are evil. But Simon’s kitchen is cozy, and he seems cranky rather than wicked. Staying with him appears to be Jinx’s safest, and perhaps only, option. As Jinx’s curiosity about magic grows, he learns to listen to the trees as closely as he does to Simon’s unusual visitors. The more Jinx discovers, the more determined he becomes to explore beyond the security of well-trod paths. But in the Urwald, a little healthy fear is never out of place, for magic—and magicians—can be as dangerous as the forest, and soon Jinx must decide which is the greater threat. Sage Blackwood introduces a daring new hero for an innovative new world as Jinx is joined by friends, battles enemies, and discovers life beyond—and even within—the forest is more complex than he can imagine, and that the Urwald itself needs him more than he could ever guess.

    Humans have been extinct for centuries, trapped by a terrible curse and left to live out their existence in the form of dragons. Despite his doubts, however, Jaax assumes responsibility for the baby girl only to discover that what he has been seeking for so many years has finally been found... Jahrra knows all about the legends and sagas of Oescienne, but never in her wildest dreams would she believe that she played a part in one of them. She’s far too busy dodging the bullies at school and seeking out new adventures with her friends to worry about what secrets her dragon mentor might be keeping from her, or that her every move is being watched by something living in the forest surrounding her home.But the secrets run deep, and as Jahrra fights to earn her place in this extraordinary world, she will begin to unravel the truth of it all: that she isn’t as safe as she thought she was, that danger lurks around every corner, and that her role in this unfurling tale is far more significant than she could possibly imagine.

    Yet just as he is on the brink of a discovery, he keels over, nearly dead.Thorton's servant, Sybil, and his talking raven, Odo, are filled with dread: will they be thrown out into the streets to fend for themselves? Their only hope is to discover the alchemist's secret and learn to make gold. And according to their master's last garbled words, the secret has something to do with a green-eyed child, the mysterious Book Without Words, and three sweet-smelling stones in the foul muck at the bottom of a cauldron...From Avi, the 2003 Newbery Award-winning author of "Crispin: The Cross of Lead," comes the story of Thorston, an alchemist who works to concoct a potion that will enable him to live forever--and keep dying and rising from the dead as a result.

    A cryptic picture message from their mother leads them to a familiar gate in the woods, but comfortable sights quickly give way to a new world entirely—Down—one inhabited by talking birds and the evil Puppeteer queen. Summer and Bird are quickly separated, and their divided hearts lead them each in a very different direction in the quest to find their parents, vanquish the Puppeteer, lead the birds back to their Green Home, and discover the identity of the true bird queen.With breathtaking language and deliciously inventive details, Katherine Catmull has created a world unlike any other, skillfully blurring the lines between magic and reality and bringing to life a completely authentic cast of characters and creatures.

    Blessed with the physique of a demigod and one of the world’s foremost minds, he travels the globe on a quest to confront evil and punch it in the face. At his disposal is a vast fortune, an endless array of gadgets and loyal friends. Now, one of those friends has gone missing in a Central American jungle and the only clue is the grotesque image of a demonic tribal mask. Dam and his trusted valet Bertrand rush headlong into danger and go face-to-face with evil incarnate to save their missing friend and attempt to destroy the Horror in Honduras.

    This conflict will affect life everywhere, but not everyone is aware it exists. When twelve-year old Max Rigdon is sent to stay with his grandfather for the summer, he unwillingly enters the fight. The day Max steps off the bus he is marked with an evil curse and immediately becomes the target of evil men and creatures with designs on ruling the universe. Not only does this curse cause Max physical pain but it allows his enemies to track and find him. He soon learns that the reason for this unwanted attention is because his grandfather is the keeper of a gateway; a powerful machine that makes travel to hundreds of strange unknown worlds possible. The enemy will do anything to gain possession of this power in their quest to control all worlds. With the help of his friend Cindy and others, Max must quickly learn the necessary skills to survive if he is to avoid the deadly trap that has been planned for him and his grandfather. A trap that has been decades in the making with Max as the missing piece. If successful it will change life as we know it.

    Ripped from their parents as babies, they are being protected from a horrible evil of devastating power, an evil they know nothing about.Until now.Before long, Kate, Michael, and Emma are on a journey through time to dangerous and secret corners of the world...a journey of allies and enemies, of magic and mayhem. And — if an ancient prophesy is correct — what they do can change history, and it is up to them to set things right.

    His plan is to infiltrate the science fair at Hubble Middle School, located in a Maryland suburb just outside Washington. The rich kids at Hubble cheat by buying their projects every year, and Grdankl's cronies should have no problem selling them his government-corrupting software. But this year, Toby Harbinger, a regular kid with Discount Warehouse shoes, is determined to win the $5,000 prize-even if he has to go up against terrorists to do it. With the help of his best friends, Tamara and Micah, Toby takes on Assistant Principal Paul Parmit, aka "The Armpit," a laser-eyed stuffed owl, and two eBay buyers named Darth and the Wookiee who seem to think that the Harrison-Ford-signed BlasTech DL-44 blaster Toby sold them is a counterfeit. What transpires is a hilarious adventure filled with mystery, suspense, and levitating frogs.

    As he looks for his father, he begins to notice that he can see the psychic residue left behind by monsters and murder victims. Along with the mind-reading Alexandra (Alex) Courtney, Jack uses his growing ESP abilities to stop the deaths in the town, and find out why his father was taken.

    Most people that is; just not Leo Gray’s parents. They’re stuck in the past, and science know-it-all Leo is completely fed up with his beyond-embarrassing living arrangement with them. But when he enters a rocket-building competition for a chance to attend the Lunar Academy, Leo’s luck finally seems to turn in his favor! However, it's not long after stepping foot into his dorm room that Leo discovers the Moon’s celebrated city is harboring a world of dark secrets. It's soon a race against the clock for Leo and his friends Andromeda Groves (a code-hacking whiz from Canada), Pavo Digbi (a history buff from Brazil), and Grus Pinwheel (a musically gifted and comically endearing Aussie) to intercept and foil plans to destroy the city—leaving the group’s leader faced with a decision that no eleven-year-old should ever have to make: save Earth or save himself and the city he fought so hard to reach.

    But he dives after friends whisked away to The Outskirts.The five kingdoms lie in between - wakefulness and dreaming, reality and imagination, life and death. Some people are born there. Some find their way there from other worlds.And once people are in the Outskirts, they find it very hard to leave.With the magic of the Outskirts starting to unravel, Cole and an unusual girl named Mira must rescue his friends, set things right in the Outskirts, and hopefully find his way back home…before his existence is forgotten.

    Keener senses, heightened awareness and an enhanced physical strength that could be called upon by his sheer will. Erik becomes involved with a team of high profile investigators and local police trying to locate a girl who was kidnapped in the middle of a playground amongst dozens of adults and children. None of the adults saw anything and what the children claim to have seen is too far fetched to be believed. The search evolves into a full-scale manhunt into the dark and desolate woodlands of the Hopedale Mountain. After a lethal encounter and a fatality, Erik, the investigators and police realize that what they're dealing with isn't a man and possibly isn't of this world. What they're dealing with is a sentient evil that has an appetite for young children.

    As normal as it sounds, Livia is anything but ordinary. She can feel every emotion of every single person around her, and it’s maddening. In pursuit of some psychic quiet, she moves with her family from New York City to Whidbey Island in the lush and sleepy Pacific Northwest. But when a horseback riding accident in her new home gives her a broken leg that heals in a day, she finds that another unexplainable ability has manifested, and her life isn’t about to get any easier. Adam has no problem fitting in and making friends. In fact, he’s the top of the school, the boy everyone knows and loves. However, people only see what he allows them to. No one knows what Adam is truly capable of. After witnessing Livia’s accident, Adam sees something intriguing in her quick recovery, something that gives him hope that he’s not alone. Adam is the only one whose emotions Livia can’t read. Afraid of not knowing what goes on behind his dark eyes, Livia decides to keep him at a distance. Yet the more she tries to ignore him, the more alluring he becomes, and while their personal quests for identity will inevitably bring them closer together, it is the confirmation of what they really are that threatens to tear them apart.Resilient, told in alternating point of views, is a gripping story of survival and romance, in which two teenagers face the consequences of being anything but normal.