Book picks similar to
Dead Inside by Alexander Ward
mm
dark
m-m
abuse
Love of the Egoist
Nero Seal - 2018
But now, I want to ruin your world and turn it pitch black. Isolate you, so you have nothing left except me.And remember, it’s your own fault.” ISOLATION. LONELINESS. ENDLESS SILENCE STRETCHING INTO ETERNITY.This is the personal living hell of police detective, Kuon Leiris. His punishment for ruining the Black Duke’s deal. But when night falls, it gets worse…Cruelty. Affection. Madness. Obsession. Constant mind games where he can do nothing but give in. Yugo pours his every corrupt desire into his prey, testing the limits of their capture-bonding relationship. Do you dare enter a dark world where safe-words don’t exist?
Not His Kiss to Take
Finn Marlowe - 2012
Evan Harrison has become a recluse, a prisoner inside his own house, felled in his prime by a migraine headache without end. All he'd ever wanted was to be a doctor, and now he's nothing - until chance delivers a beaten and battered Jamie into his care. Fourteen years his junior, gorgeous, mouthy, stubborn and...completely and unquestionably straight. Maybe. Or maybe not...Jamie doesn't know what hit him, other than there were three of them, and that he's broken and in pain and he doesn't know the identity of the kind stranger with the cold stethoscope and warm eyes taking care of him. And he sure as hell doesn't know why he likes his bossiness or finds him sexy....Chance may have brought them together, but a shared attraction keeps them together long after Jamie’s bruises have faded. As Evan enjoys the longest pain-free stretch he’s known in two years, they begin to explore their attraction, the caresses of a kind Jamie’s never known. But even as Evan revels in his young lover’s first, tentative touches, the guilt is never far from his mind. Jamie’s never looked at another man romantically and Evan’s never looked at anything but. And Jamie won’t kiss him. That would be… gay. Evan wants Jamie’s kiss more than he’s ever wanted anything before in his life, but it’s not his kiss to take, its Jamie’s to give. Evan knows wanting Jamie is wrong, their relationship unethical, a relationship forbidden with just cause. He swore an oath to do no harm. And it’s not only his oaths that are going to get broken--he’s never given his heart away before…
The Promise
Ki Brightly - 2020
When Carter dies, not only is West left hurting, but Carter’s younger brother, eighteen-year-old Shane, plummets deeply into grief. Both men bury themselves in their pain and forget to support one another. West feels hollow, and Shane’s life goes off the rails. The Lost Boy Shane’s parents reacted badly when he told them he was gay, but he had Carter and West to run to when things got tough. They gladly took him in. After Carter dies, Shane feels like he has no one to love him, until one tearful moment between Shane and West turns into something passionate. Afterward, consumed by guilt, both men become more isolated than before. Second Chance at Love, First Chance to Be Himself West has never fully embraced the darkest parts of his sexuality, but he knows one thing for certain—he wants Shane as his. Even if being with his dead lover’s younger brother is wrong, fighting his attraction to Shane is hurting them both. He decides to step up and become the daddy he has always wanted to be, one who helps guide his boy back into the land of the living. One large problem remains, during the months Shane was left to his own devices, he made a wreck of his life. West and Shane both need a lot of love to heal. Can they learn to live a new life together, free of shame and guilt?
Hidden Truths
Nicole Colville - 2013
Their lives are intertwined in more ways than they can see and only working through the truths hidden deep within each of them can they free themselves and find the love that they are searching for. Each of them need the other in a way not even themselves can understand. This is the first of three books following the complicated lives of Jamie Burton a three time Winter Olympic gold medallist, Valerio Capelli an Italian bike racing protégé and Scot a billionaire business genius. All three are stunning and sexy in different ways. All three desire the same thing, sex, love and freedom from their pasts.Jamie Burton is an enigmatic, beautiful, intoxicating person who entices those around him without him even trying. He's someone who appears to have it all. Good looks, good nature, wealth. How appearances can be deceiving. He has a crippling emotional fear of love and relationships stemming from his painful childhood. Mix that with his obsessive compulsion to remain clean and controlled and Jamie has no chance at falling in love. That may change when he meets Valerio Capelli. An innocent curly haired eighteen year old Italian bike racing protégé who lives life to the fullest and races at two hundred miles an hour on the world’s fastest racetracks. He’s warm and relaxed and undecided about his sexuality. Everything Jamie is afraid off but he can't stop the pull this enigmatic creature has over him.Just like Jamie Valerio is hiding the truth about his past, only by overcoming his fears and his hidden pain can he truly move on.Valerio may be Jamie's future but his past is constantly around him. Meet Scot the intense but stunning business man who appears to have nothing with Jamie apart from their passionate sex life. He’s a billionaire playboy who is controlled arrogant and powerful but weak around Jamie. When they meet both are lost and not just in their lust for each other but from the hidden secrets in their past.He sees things in Jamie that even he can't see, the truth shines from his black eyes tempting Jamie back into his arms I a way he doesn’t understand.All three have hidden the truth for so long about so many things. All have dark issues which can't be spoken about.What’s hidden in the fog of Jamie’s mind? What’s missing?Can these two men in his life help free him from his pain? Or will they push him the edge of his sanity in their attempts to make him love?
Clouded Hell
J.R. Gray - 2016
Physical pain to avoid the mental. Disposable flesh to avoid relationships. Work to avoid attachment. My club became my empire of avoidance. Inside the ring millions are won and lost. The fight is confined to breaths, actions and reactions, fists and pain. Rules don’t exist. Only my opponent exists. I’d been avoiding my needs for far too long when Remi stumbles into the Inferno and I’m hungry. The promise of a submissive with no attachment is far too tempting. I can’t resist him.He was only supposed to be a distraction, but I know I'll never get over him. There isn't a chance in this clouded hell.
From the Ashes
C.M. Valencourt - 2018
At their friend Justin's funeral, once-best-friends Derek and Hunter meet again almost four years after their monumental falling out. Hunter kissed Derek, and Derek freaked out and chose a college on the other side of the country. If they had a choice, both of them would walk away and never see the other again. Except Justin has given them a mission: an epic road trip to scatter his ashes all over the Midwest, complete with cryptic notes, new friends, and a whole lot of sexual tension. Can Derek and Hunter finish Justin's road trip without ripping each other's heads—or clothes—off? This is a stand-alone 65,000-word m/m novel with an HEA ending.
Saving Alexander
Susan Mac Nicol - 2013
Seriously flawed, damaged by a horrific past, he’s trying hard to claw his way back to normality. But how can anyone respect what he truly is? His therapy involves regular sessions at Study in Scarlet, an exclusive S&M club.Then comes Sage. Tall, with black hair and blue eyes, an up-and-coming actor with impossible charm and boy-next-door good looks, he’s the perfect choice to play the leading man in a TV adaptation of Alex’s last best-seller. Even more, he is a man you introduce to your family. Which Alex would do—if he weren’t taken by another man who offers the punishments Alex prays will wipe away the past and make him the person he wants to be. Yet, perhaps there is another path to redemption. If only the solution would reach out and touch him.
Between These Sheets
Devon McCormack - 2017
Now I fight another in my mind.” Jay is always on the run—always looking for the next place to start a new life. But no matter how much he moves, he can’t escape the painful memories that haunt him. As he settles into his latest job in the warehouse at a glass bottle factory, he finds himself the target of his co-workers’ teasing. When he takes a stand against one of the bullies, a fight breaks out. His boss, a war vet named Reese, steps in, and Jay accidentally shoves him to the ground, revealing Reese’s prosthetic leg. Jay’s sure he’s gonna lose his job, but he’s blown away when he’s given another shot. Reese is annoyed by the new guy. Jay is reckless and temper prone. Maybe Reese shouldn't have given him a second chance, but his attitude reminds him of his war buddy—a guy who he cared deeply for and who he lost under tragic circumstances. He just hopes Jay doesn’t let him down. When an accident in the factory triggers one of Reese’s PTSD episodes, Jay returns the favor by being there for him and keeping anyone else from discovering the incident. Reese wants to move on and forget it ever happened, but Jay won’t let it go. And as much as Reese tries to keep his distance, there’s a heat—a passion—between them that he can’t resist. It leads them to the bedroom again and again, but Reese quickly realizes they’ve ignited more than the sparks they create between the sheets. And despite the tough-guy façade Jay puts on, underneath there’s a soul just as tortured and hurt as he is. He’s starting to fall for Jay, but he knows there’s a dark storm lurking in the back of his own mind—a storm that will return one day and destroy the beautiful connection they share. Between These Sheets is a standalone romance novel with no cheating, no cliffhangers, and a happy ending.
Love Him Free
E.M. Lindsey - 2020
He just doesn’t know how to get it. From an early age, Simon’s life has been marked by loss. After the death of his father, Simon and his infant brother are ripped from their home in Tel Aviv and forced to settle in a small mountain town in the US where no one speaks his language. By the age of twelve, Simon is an orphan. By the age of twenty-one, Simon finds himself the unwilling owner of his bubbe’s bakery, and the hesitant guardian of his little brother. Terrified of losing what little he has left, Simon dedicates himself to his faith, sacrificing everything to keep the fragile scraps of his broken family.But, when Simon’s favorite film star’s life suddenly falls apart on social media, Simon makes a choice. He goes against every one of his instincts and fires up his camera, sending a message in rusty ASL. He doesn’t expect anything from it, of course. After all, Simon’s life has been anything but charmed.Deaf film star, Rocco Moretti, had anyone's fantasy life, and he wouldn’t change it for the world.When he was in college, Rocco decided to corner the market as a Deaf man in adult films as a quick way to make cash. Fifteen years later, and he’s rich with a house in Malibu, a boyfriend of almost two-decades, and a body that’s constantly in demand. His life was charmed, and he wouldn’t have it any other way. But when Rocco wakes up to his boyfriend leaving, he has nowhere to turn. People are starving for the drama, but no one cares that Rocco’s life has just fallen apart. His job is on the line, and he’s lost his interpreter, and all people want is the story. Rocco realizes in that moment, he wants something more. He’s not sure where to find it, but he thinks maybe the shy video in shaky ASL in his DMs is a good place to start. After all, Cherry Creek is in the middle of nowhere, and since seeing that video, Rocco hasn’t been able to stop thinking about that shy baker’s long fingers, shy smile, and the constellation of freckles on his pale cheeks.Rocco isn’t sure leaving his life behind is the right choice, and Simon isn’t sure he belongs in Rocco’s world. But the one thing they do know, is that this love has a chance to set them both free.Love Him Free is Book One of the series On The Market. It contains no cheating, light angst, and has a HEA.
Acclamation
Vee Hoffman - 2012
Ashebrook, its warm community and the house inherited from his aunt provide a comfortable haven for Michael, but it's the friendship with neighbouring Butler family and their son Dominic that proves most rewarding. Teacher, friend, soon confidant, Michael understands Dominic's secrets more than anyone in his sheltered Catholic community, but what else can he allow himself to hope for when love offers him a second chance?
Lincoln's Park
Parker Williams - 2018
At the BDSM club or in business, Lincoln was a storm, blowing in and disrupting the lives of everyone he touched, until the day he met a man who peeled away the tarnished layers to expose a decent person.Lincoln found—then lost—love. Since then, he’s tried to atone for his past, including walking away from his family’s wealth. He opened a diner, hiring people to work for him that he would have spit on before his epiphany. He’s found peace, which he’s about to lose to a hazel-eyed man.Noel Simmons wound up on the street when his parents discovered he was gay. His path leads him to Lincoln’s diner, where he asks for a job. He’s thrilled when Lincoln agrees to hire him, but finds his new boss perplexing. Can anyone be this kind and decent?What starts out as business becomes something more. Noel discovers he needs Lincoln in order to feel safe. Lincoln needs Noel to complete him. But when Lincoln’s past gets in the way of his present, will the two have a future?Cover Artist: Reese Dante
Special Delivery
Heidi Cullinan - 2010
Then Sam meets Mitch Tedsoe, an independent, long-haul trucker who makes a delivery to a shop across the alley. Innocent flirting quickly leads to a fling, and when Mitch offers to take him on a road trip west, Sam jumps at the chance for adventure. Mitch is sexy, funny and friendly, but once they embark on their journey, something changes. One minute he’s the star of Sam’s every x-rated fantasy, the next he’s almost too much a perfect gentleman. And when they hit the Las Vegas city limit, Sam has a name to pin on Mitch’s malady: Randy.For better or for worse, Sam grapples with the meaning of friendship, letting go, growing up—even the meaning of love—because no matter how far he travels, eventually all roads lead home.
Anchored
Rachel Haimowitz - 2011
Especially when NewWorld Media, the company that’s owned him since childhood, decides to lease him privately on evenings and weekends to boost their flagging profits.Daniel’s not stupid; he knows there’s only one reason someone would pay so much for what little free time he has. But dark memories of past sexual service leave him certain he won’t survive it again with his sanity intact.He finds himself in the home of Carl Whitman, a talk show host whose words fail him when it comes to ordering Daniel into his bed. Carl can’t seem to take what he must want, and Daniel’s not willing to give it freely. His recalcitrance costs him dearly, but with patience and some hard-won understanding, affection just might flourish over fear and pain. Carl holds the power to be an anchor in Daniel’s turbulent life, but if he isn’t careful, he’ll end up the weight that sinks his slave for good.
Sex & Sourdough
A.J. Thomas - 2013
Though a hiking virgin, he’s glad he made the decision when he receives threatening messages from his ex. Luckily, Kevin, an experienced backpacker, takes him under his wing.Kevin Winters isn’t looking for a hiking partner, let alone a fling with a cute man on the rebound. After learning he has the autoimmune disorder that killed his father, Kevin left his family to wander remote trails. Convinced his future holds only pain and death, Kevin refuses to get close to anyone. The family sourdough recipes he recreates over a campfire are his only solace.In the wilderness, Anders and Kevin discover a lot of common ground. While the future holds uncertainties they may not be ready to deal with, it might also hold the chance for happiness.
He Owns My Heart
Evie Drae - 2020
Trapped in the sticky fine print of an ironclad contract that forbids him from revealing his very-much-single status until the season finale of his reality show airs, he calls an elite male escort service that caters to the rich and desperate.Accustomed to servicing his often less than savory clients at more upscale locales, twenty-six-year-old Toby Carmichael is surprised when his handler sends him to a run-down motel off I-55. But “surprise” doesn’t come close to describing the shock that rocks his system when a delightful stuttering mess covered in tattoos and nearly ten years his senior stumbles into the room—and right into his heart.For the first time since Toby was forced into the life of prostitution, a kiss sparks a desire that has nothing to do with money and everything to do with genuine chemistry and the faintest beginnings of something so much more. But Toby’s dark past and troubled present make it impossible to see a future with Landon. And when the truth comes to light, a horrified and helpless Landon is determined to save Toby at all costs.Content Warnings: Some content in He Owns My Heart may be triggering for some readers, due to the depiction of traumatic topics or other subjects or themes that may be difficult to read. Content warnings include the following:• A main character with childhood history of physical and verbal abuse by a parental figure—discussed by character as an adult, nothing depicted on page.• Homophobia from a close family member of a main character.• Discussion of previous self-harm/cutting behaviors by an adult survivor—presence of physical scars and mental ramifications discussed.• A main character involved in prostitution with dub-con/non-con aspects—all interactions between the main characters contain full consent and there are no graphic on-page depictions. More graphic experiences are alluded to via inner monologue narrative.• A main character involved as a victim in human trafficking associated with the illegal drug trade.• Consensual Domination/submission relationship between the main characters—including light bondage, tease and denial, edging, the use of toys, and mild pain play (i.e. slapping and predicament bondage).• Depiction of moderate on-page violence between main characters and antagonists—no blood depicted.• Depiction of stalking activities by an ex-partner of a main character.• Consumption of alcohol by main characters and side characters.• Graphic portrayals of consensual penetrative cis male/cis male sex with condom usage. Oral sex scenes without use of condom shown with first instance occurring prior to reader’s knowledge of previous health check by both parties with both parties fully aware of the other’s health status before oral sex occurred.As always, if any of these topics could potentially impact your mental health or wellbeing, please consider skipping this read. Your emotional and mental safety are always the top priority.