A collection of 45 ridiculous 911 emergency calls, submitted by 911 Call Center Operators across the U.S.Dedicated to you, the Taxpayer who funded these calls.Note: A quick 10-minute read of humorous quotes from real calls.Just enough for a grin of the day!

    Dog is sitting in the wading pool, deep in the cool water. Chickadee is eating fresh seed from the birdfeeder. Squirrel is munching on his very own corncob. Today is a perfect day in Bert's backyard.Until Bear comes along, that is. Bear crushes the daffodils, drinks the pool water, and happily gobbles up the birdseed and corncob.Today was a perfect day for Cat, Dog, Chickadee, and Squirrel. Now, it's just a perfect day for Bear.Lane Smith uses perfect pacing and vibrant illustrations to emphasize the power of perspective in this hilarious picture book about the goings-on in Bert's backyard.This book has Common Core connections.An NPR Best Book of 2017A 2018 ALSC Notable Children's Book

    Toby is a big dog, lost and far from home. A chance encounter brings them together and sends them on a journey to reunite the dog with his family, a trip that just might help Paul find his own way home as well. But this will be no ordinary road trip, and when it’s done, Paul’s life will never be the same.

    An open bedroom door. An ill-timed squat. Dogs seem to have impeccable timing. Yet how quickly calamity turns to comedy in the company of a dog, and the wrong moment turns out to be just the right one. In this delightful follow-up to Dog Is My Co-Pilot, which won the Best Book of the Year award from the Dog Writers Association of America, the editors of The Bark bring together more stories, essays, and artwork that highlight the hilarity of dog behavior and the comical interactions between dog people and their four-legged friends. From playful puppies who wreak havoc in the home to dogs with a whole array of comic shticks and tricks, Howl celebrates the verve and the laughs pets offer their people. It includes laugh-out-loud reflections (and confessions), rib-tickling tales, and whimsical vignettes from well-known writers such as:• Dave Barry• Margaret Cho• Al Franken• Kinky Friedman• Pam Houston• Haven Kimmel• Neal Pollack• And many more!From the Hardcover edition.

    Crazy Hair is a fantastically fun tale written by New York Times bestselling author Neil Gaiman and illustrated by the astoundingly talented Dave McKean, the award-winning team behind The Wolves in the Walls.In Crazy Hair, Bonnie makes a friend who has hair so wild there's even a jungle inside of it! Bonnie ventures through the crazy hair, but she may need more than a comb to tame her friend's insane mane.

    But surely you can't eat pizza all day long? Read this book and find out ! This book is a funny, silly rhyming picture book for children, A wonderful rhyming children's book for early readers ages 2-8 and jam packed with lots of kids humor !

    Laugh at the antics of Riverdale’s teens as they seek the perfect Christmas tree, go on a sleigh ride, help those less fortunate, give one another cherished holiday gifts and more as they enjoy the magic of the season!

    In danger of losing his ninth and final life, Ambrose makes a desperate plea to the universe. He'll do anything—anything!—if he can just survive and enjoy a nice long, final life. His prayer is answered when a stranger comes along and saves him—and now it looks like he has to hold up his end of the bargain.The stranger turns out to be a firefighter named Zach, who's in need of some serious romantic help. If Ambrose can just bring Zach together with Merilee, the nice lady who works at Pet Palace, it's bound to earn him a healthy ninth life. Unfortunately for Ambrose, his mission is a lot harder than he ever thought. Merriliee is way too shy to make the first move on a ladies man like Zach, and Zach thinks he's all wrong for a nice girl like Merrilee. Now it's going to take all of Ambrose's feline wiles—and maybe even a good old fashioned Christmas miracle—to make them both realize that what they're looking for is right in front of their eyes.

    He took a selfie of himself pouring a whole tube of them into his mouth, before sending it to his best mate, along with the letters LOL! The bestselling authors of We're Going on a Bar Hunt and The Very Hungover Caterpillar bring you another hilarious parody of a much-loved children's book, this time turning the spotlight not only on modern teens, but firmly on their parents too.When the doorbell rings, just as Sophie and her Dad are sitting down for their tea, they're half-expecting a visit from a tiger, but what slouches in through their doorway is even more curious than that... a teenager.A perfect read for anyone who remembers the original, or has ever been a teenager or is the parent of a teenager today.

    and bags of laughs too! A love story with a twist in its very waggy tail. I think Alice Wright is really Bridget Bones! Forget Hugh Grant or Colin Firth though, her dog is a much better love interest (and he’s a proper Boxer!)If you’re contemplating settling down with a good dog, read this first and if it doesn’t put you off then you’ll be fine. Already had your heart stolen by a dog? You’ll definitely recognise the dogification of your wardrobe, the permanent damage to your flooring and especially the gritty bed linen!What a page-turner. I Loved it.”Beverley Cuddy, Editor DOGS TODAY MAGAZINE"Incredibly honest, genuine and captivating... a real life take on modern day doggie living. It is brutally honest yet heart-warmingly brilliant. A must for all animal fans."Jessica Brown, PETS MAGAZINEWhat happens when you drop a big, bouncing Boxer dog into the life of a glamorous girl about town? Alice Wright reveals all in her dog-memoir with a difference...Alice's busy life consists of 'parties, premieres and private members clubs' and she loves it! She certainly doesn't want the responsiblity of a partner or a pooch but seems to end up with more than she bargained for in this very funny but incredibly personal memoir about modern dog ownership.Set in the streets of Soho and the parks of North London HANDBAGS AND POOBAGS reveals why you should never wear a long cashmere scarf when poop scooping and how to hide a dog under a barstool and in the back of a taxi-cab. A bit different from the traditional pet-memoir this warm, touching real life tale is full of embarrassing anecdotes and surprising discoveries as Alice realises that owning a dog changes not only her lifestyle but her life.See facebook.com/handbagsandpoobags for updates and photos!

    ("I brought pickles and bean burritos and more pickles and mashed potatoes and some pickles and . . .") But the friends soon find themselves in hot water when the dastardly Mr. Cougarpants stalks their campsite. Can Wordy Birdy talk them all out of this pickle? Grab your pack, grill up a s'more, and find out!Author Tammi Sauer (Chicken Dance, Nugget & Fang) will keep young readers and their parents giggling with this funny, chatty, boisterous adventure about the importance of listening AND the importance of speaking up for your friends!

    “I watch the sheep.”Holy begonia! Sheep knows this can’t be right. After all, she’s the pro! So Sheep goes off to get everything Sheep Dog needs to get the job done, but each time she goes, something almost happens to Sheep…And it's Sheep Dog who saves the day!For fans of Goodnight Already! by Jory John, You Will Be My Friend! by Peter Brown, and Little Blue Truck by Alice Schertle, this hilarious and tender friendship story proves that even the best watchers must look out for one another.

    in full color. "While Granny is a-rockin' and a-knittin' and Ma's a-cookin' and Pa's a-fixin', that old possum in his top hat and vest just keeps on knocking. The narrator, a redheaded boy, tries to tell family members about the possum, and when the family checks, the possum hides. Should be popular with story-hour groups."--Booklist.

    Told in rhyme, and with dozens of cats on each page, this gorgeous book is sure to have cat lovers of all ages purring!

    But when the bears return home and develop their snapshots, they laugh and laugh, fully enjoying the worst vacation they've ever had!