If she doesn't bring a date to her big sister's wedding, the L for loser that's imprinted on her forehead will become permanent, as far as her family is concerned. And heck, she's started to believe it, herself.Why else would a girl end up at a Los Angeles escort agency with the strange acronym V.A.M.P. Inc? Where you pick your date from a row of coffins in the agency's basement. Guys who can't meet you at lunch time, due to the fact that they sleep until sundown.You know . . . . vampires.And when she meets the unearthly handsome Christian Dale, the agency's odd acronym begins to take on a whole new meaning. Tackling her sister's wedding actually starts to seem like a piece of cake . . .

    To say the least. She calls Sweet Meadow, Georgia, home, where she works for her father doing auto repairs. She also drives the tow-truck, although Sweet Meadow's rather colorful denizens tend to treat Bertie more like the local, free taxi service. You know, someone has to get to a doctor's appointment or pick something up at the dry cleaners. Bertie's favorite day of the week is Friday, when she leaves the wrecker with her father for the whole weekend and joins her friends at the Dew Drop Inn for a night of dancing. Her best friend, Mary Lou, sometimes fixes her up with dubious dates, although Bertie has to remind her friend not to tease her hair too high for those occasions. Like the time when they went to Carrie Sue's open house, and a ceramic cow with angel wings hanging from a ceiling fan locked its hooves into Bertie's big hair and refused to let go. She had to wear it all night, dangling chain and all. Bertie's nearly perfect life is about to take a downhill turn, however. It starts when her landlord, Pete, currently a resident in a nearby nursing home, starts showing up at her house. In his birthday suit. A very badly wrinkled birthday suit. And then she goes to her mailbox, a rubber large mouth bass, and finds a notice from the zoning commission saying she can no longer park the wrecker in her driveway. The notice is signed by George Bigham. But when she goes to the courthouse to take care of her little problem, it is only to discover George Bigham is deceased. And Mary Lou's pregnancy test just came up positive. Can it get any worse? In a word... yes.

    Within hours, the Kuwaiti defenses collapse under the onslaught of the Iraqi Army. In response, the US military leads a coalition of thirty-four nations in what becomes Operation Desert Storm—a violent campaign to eject the Iraqis from Kuwait. At the tip of the spear are the men of Ghost Troop in the US Army’s 2d Armored Cavalry Regiment.Commanded by Captain Joseph Sartiano, Ghost Troop was among the lead elements of the US VII Corps’ advance into Iraq. On February 26, 1991, Ghost Troop encountered a brigade-sized element of the Tawakalna Division— the elite frontline forces of Iraq’s Republican Guard. Although significantly outnumbered and outgunned, Ghost Troop won a decisive victory with minimal losses to their own ranks. History would call it the Battle of 73 Easting.Based on hours of interviews and archival research by author Mike Guardia, this minute-by-minute rendition of the battle reveals an intimate, no-holds-barred account of modern warfare…as told by the men who lived it."Days of Fury" is their story.

    18+ Only!

    Folks tend to expect a little more action in the romance department from a former star linebacker and an ex party machine. But a decade in the Special Forces followed by career in fire rescue operations hasn’t left him much time to play Romeo. So he does the unthinkable — he hires an actress to pose as his bride for the weekend. Serena Chandler is supposed to be working on her doctoral dissertation, not filling in for her bestie’s slightly scandalous rent-a-date service. However, her short-term “husband” seems like a perfect gentleman, so she relaxes and decides to enjoy their weekend trip together while keeping things strictly professional between them. He’s made it clear he’s a no strings attached kind of man, and that’s fine with her. Their carefully negotiated agreement works right up to the point when a fire breaks out at his alma mater, and she becomes trapped in the gym. Watching the ripped and ready Ransom take charge in a daring rescue operation, however, makes all her best-laid plans go up in smoke. She finds herself scheming with her Mensa-level I.Q. for a way to turn their fake marriage into a real one. If they survive the fire, of course! Step into the world of Disaster City Search and Rescue, where officers, firefighters, military, and medics, train and work alongside each other with the dogs they love, to do the most dangerous job of all — help lost and injured victims find their way home.

    And after she finally discovers the truth, it causes her to question everything she thinks she knows about love.Thrown head-first into the dangerous and exhilarating world of the Italian mafia, Gianna and Alessandro struggle with their feelings and how to reconcile their different lives. Gianna can’t bear to have her heart broken by another man – and Alessandro is faced with the daunting task of juggling his dreams with his newfound love.As a wild ride of drama, passion, and heartache begins to unfold, the strength of their budding relationship is put to the test as rumors fly, old rivalries surface, and the ghosts of their pasts come back to haunt them. Can Gianna and Alessandro find the happily-ever-after they crave? Or is their forbidden romance doomed for disaster?Get ready to dive into an electrifying mafia romance series like no other. With heart-pounding suspense, scintillating steam, and emotions running high, this thrill-ride is only just beginning. Start reading today!

    The first change will be in his diet, and from now on puss is obliged to eat vegetables instead of his beloved cat food. But things get complicated and, unwittingly, Marmalade ends up in India in the Ashram of a well-known guru together with his companion in misfortune Fluffy the pussycat. After many adventures they return to their native land after being abducted by a UFO and end up triumphing on the small screen, because, as the authors conclude, "If you like happy endings, this is the book for you"

    Kids love jokes! Jokes can aid in story-telling, create laughs, and help with conversation and social skills. Your child will love this hilarious joke book full of clean knock knock jokes for children. Kindle Unlimited and Amazon Prime Members can read this book for FREE! Kids and children can practice their reading and joke telling skills with these funny knock knock jokes. With silly jokes and hilarious laughs, beginning and early readers can enjoy hours of fun and entertainment. This book is especially great for traveling, waiting rooms, and reading aloud at home. 101+ funny knock knock jokes Excellent for early and beginning readers Hours of fun and entertainment for your child Great for long trips, waiting rooms, and reading aloud Funny jokes from this book... Knock knock!Who’s there?Icy!Icy who?Icy you! Open this door! HAHA! Knock knock!Who’s there?Alfred!Alfred who?Alfred the dark! Open the door! LOL! Knock knock!Who’s there?Juno!Juno who?Juno how long I’ve been waiting out here? HAHA! Knock knock!Who’s there?Athena!Athena who?Athena funny movie the other day! LOL! Funny Knock Knock Jokes for Kids! (Clean Jokes for Children) This funny joke book is full of hilarious knock knock jokes that will have you laughing for hours! This is one of the best joke collections in the world. These jokes about food will give you a case of the giggles. These funny jokes are excellent for kids, children, teens, and adults. Early and beginner readers can practice reading aloud and learning. Best-Selling Children's Book Author, Arnie Lightning Arnie Lightning is a best-selling children's book author with a straightforward goal. He wants his work to create a positive impact in the lives of others through children's books. Learning morals, lessons, and good character can start at a young age. Arnie's books reflect this. By providing a comfortable and entertaining environment, learning can be a fun activity! Scroll up and click 'buy' to get these funny jokes! 100% Money Back Guarantee Tags: funny jokes for kids, jokes, knock knock, knock knock joke, knock knock jokes, knock knock jokes for kids, knock knock jokes for children, funny joke, funny jokes, lol, jokes, joke books, books, jokes book, ebook, kids books, funny, ebooks, funny jokes, kids, haha, hilarious, children, joke, kid, funny jokes for children, kids books, childrens books, childrens book, kids book, joke books, books for kids, childrens book, kids books, funny, funny jokes, funny book, joke book, funny book, joke books, hilarious, funny free joke book, book about food, kindle book, kindle ebook, comedy, book for kids, humor, early reader, beginning reader, preschool, ages 5-12, ages 6-8, ages 9-12, preteen, laugh, laughter, funniest jokes, laughin

    The abuse she’s experienced from her mother and step dad has left her sheltered and guarded. Her only motivation is to one day escape the darkness that surrounds her. Her vision is clear: work hard, get an education and walk away from the house of horrors for good. When the opportunity to get more money comes her way she jumps at the chance. Money is now her goal and the path she’s taking to get it will lead her down the road to an unexpected future. 
The Hampton brothers Za’Shon ‘Fire’, Jaivon, and Tyree are running things in Atlanta. Of the trio, Fire’s the most arrogant and the only one willing to do anything to take his family to the next level. His focus was on one thing building his empire and making more money. That is until he meets Lacye. He falls fast for her. 
Lacye has never met someone like Fire. His arrogance and bluntness takes her by surprise. But it’s also the thing she falls in love with. He believes he’s found the perfect woman who’s beautiful, smart, and innocent. Their romance goes fast but the secrets she’s been holding comes out. His lifestyle and her secrets crash together making the perfect storm. It leaves a path of destruction and hurt. They both find themselves losing everything they’ve worked so hard for. Za’Shon won’t allow his world to come crashing down and he won’t lose Lacye. The savage in him won’t let her go but the cost of loving her threatens to bring down him and his brothers. His recklessness creates havoc and starts a war that threatens to take everything and everyone away from him. But that’s what happens when you set Fire to Lacye.

    In the space of a single horrendous day, Merry’s boss kicks her out to pasture, her husband ditches her for a barely legal floozy, and she decides to end it all. (But she doesn’t have cancer, no matter what her doctor says, so at least she’s got that going for her.)Determined to hurl herself into an early grave, Merry flies home to Greece for one last hurrah. But Greece has other plans for Merry, and before long she enthusiastically decides to give living one more shot.Too bad she no longer has any say in the matter.

    Hannah Doyle's THE YEAR OF SAYING YES will make you dirty-laugh, feel warm and fuzzy, and rediscover life's magic - all thanks to one little word: yes. Fans of Lindsey Kelk, Mhairi McFarlane and Lucy-Anne Holmes, you're in for a real treat.The second of four exclusive part-serialisations of THE YEAR OF SAYING YES by Hannah Doyle. Izzy's one-in-a-million story continues...Dear ReadersWelcome back! It's Izzy (or should I say New Izzy) reporting for duty. It's time for Part Two of my 'Year of Saying Yes'.Thanks to your amazing challenges and fabulous feedback, I've been up to all sorts over the past few months. Drumroll please...- I asked a total stranger for his number (what can I say, he was hot and wearing a pirate's hat)- I modelled for a life drawing class (yes, starkers!)- And somehow I performed on the Pyramid Stage at Glastonbury *gulp*All this gallivanting around means that the new, improved me is in full flow. And guess what? For the first time in forever I have an actual LOVE LIFE, with a real-life man! But in between the fun and frolics there's been a whole lot of #drama.Buckle up, guys, we're in for a bumpy ride...LoveIzzy xDon't miss the next dose of THE YEAR OF SAYING YES! In Part 3 Izzy faces her fears, becomes a culinary queen and reconnects with her frenemy.

    When the enchanted words are spoken, he (or whoever is in the tree house) magically appears wherever he wishes them to be. Come with him and his friend as they have great adventures, until Aidan's mother finds out the magic words and starts using this tree house for her own fun-filled adventures.

    Bullies and misers, dreamers and the narrow-minded, all got a taste of his wit, much to the delight of readers.

    A physical novel in which Lucien Taylor, a native son of Montana, embarks on a half-witted, half-unwilling journey into self-discovery.