Purchase includes a free trial membership in the publisher's book club where you can select from more than a million books without charge. Chapters: Naked, When You Are Engulfed in Flames, Me Talk Pretty One Day, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, Holidays on Ice, Santaland Diaries, Barrel Fever. Source: Wikipedia. Free updates online. Not illustrated. Excerpt: Naked, published in 1997, is a collection of essays by American humorist David Sedaris. The book details Sedaris life, from his unusual upbringing in the suburbs of Raleigh, North Carolina, to his booze-and-drug-ridden college years, to his Kerouacian wandering as a young adult. The book became a best-seller and was acclaimed for its wit, dark humor and irreverent tackling of tragic events, including the death of Sedaris mother. Prior to publication, several of the essays were read by the author on the NPR program This American Life. About the early life of the Sedaris family, and David's hopes to one day be rich and famous. It is revealed that the family is actually middle class. A description of Sedaris' obsessive-compulsive and Tourettic tendencies as a child. His behavior quirks include licking light switches and kissing newspapers, and they frequently land him in trouble at school. These tendencies are abandoned when he begins smoking at college. An account of Sedaris' elderly (and slightly senile) grandmother, known as Ya-Ya. After suffering an injury she is forced to live with his family, resulting in tension for all. Eventually, at the urging of Sedaris' mom (who was against Ya-Ya moving in with the family in the first place), she is put into a low-grade nursing home. When she dies, only his father seems to mourn. A description of events regarding a pornographic book that Sedaris finds when he is a child. The book is passed between his siblings, and eventually confiscated by his mother, who in turn reads it. A description of...More: http: //booksllc.net/?id=89168

    Let your inner dork shine bright with these four bestselling Dork Diary audiobooks, now together in one dork-tastic audio gift set.Join Nikki Maxwell as she navigates the halls of middle school, mean girls, BFF drama, and first crushes in this collectible audio gift set that includes books one through four in the wildly popular New York Times, USA TODAY, and Publishers Weekly bestselling Dork Diaries series! This audio gift set includes:Dork Diaries 1: Tales From a Not-So-Fabulous LifeDork Diaries 2: Tales from a Not-So-Popular Party GirlDork Diaries 3: Tales From a Not-So-Talented Pop StarDork Diaries 4: Tales From a Not-So-Graceful Ice Princess

    This entertaining insult generator and flip book collects hundreds of words from Shakespeare's most pointed barbs and allows readers to combine them in creative and hilariously stinging ways. From "apish bald-pated abomination" to "cuckoldly dull-brained blockhead" to "obscene rump-fed hornbeast," each insult can be chosen at random or customized to fit any situation that calls for a literary smackdown. Featuring an informative introduction on Shakespearean wit, and notes on which terms were coined or only used once by the author in his work, this delightful book will sharpen the tongue of Shakespeare fans and insult aficionados without much further ado.

    From Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim, two of the 21st century's most vital and creative minds, comes a brand new, inspirational, and game-changing life system that promises to instantly provide wellness, happiness, and total, absolute fulfillment.

    . . Here are all six episodes of the BBC Radio 4 series, complete and uncut, from the winners of the Perrier Best Newcomer Award. In Episode 1, a mysterious character called The Phantom is stealing animals from the zoo. Howard and Vince go on a mission to find the thief and the sinister figure behind the plot. In Episode 2, tired of Bob Fossil's management, Howard and Vince venture into the zoo's Jungle Room in search of former zoo boss Tommy Nookah, (Howard's idol), who disappeared there long ago. Episode 3 sees Vince forming a rock band, but after annoying the guitarist Dave and driving him to quit, he calls on Howard to overcome the Spirit of Jazz and join them. In Episode 4, when keeper Joey Moose is savagely bitten, Howard and Vince investigate and discover Bob Fossil is breeding mutant animals to sell to wealthy Japanese businessmen. Episode 5 finds Bob Fossil sending Vince to Spain and Howard to the Arctic to collect more animals for the zoo. Our heroes end up back together facing the perils of the tundra. In Episode 6, Howard and Vince take Tony the prawn to the Zoo for Animal Offenders. Along the way they meet a mysterious hitchhiker, and end up in the bizarre world of "The People of the Box." Starring Julian Barratt and Noel Fielding, with Rich Fulcher, Lee Mack, and Richard Ayoade. 3 CDs, 178 minutes

    HOLIDAYMAKER FIGHTS OFF AFRICAN LION IN WELSH HOTEL ROOMMAN SWALLOWS MOUSE AND DIESWIFE DRIVEN MAD BY HUSBAND TICKLING FEETPALLBEARER KILLED BY COFFIN IN GRAVEYARDLIBERALS EAT DOGFrom the newspaper archives of the British Library, Jeremy Clay has unearthed the long-lost stories that enthralled and appalled Victorian Britain.Within these pages are the riotous farces and tragedies of 19th-century life, a time when life was hard, pleasures short-lived, and gloating over other people’s misfortune a thoroughly acceptable form of entertainment.Deliciously appalling and deliriously funny, The Burglar Caught by a Skeleton will have you, one way or another, in tears …

    

    What Jack and Annie don’t know is that the invitation will send them on a quest to save Camelot itself — not from destruction, but from being forgotten forever.Haunted Castle on Hallow’s Eve The castle looms dark against the light of the moon. Giant ravens circle in the sky. Merlin the magician needs someone to find out what has happened. But who is brave enough to brush the cobwebs aside and go through the heavy doors? Merlin thinks he knows the answer to these questions–Jack and Annie. Summer of the Sea SerpentJack and Annie are off on another mythical mission at the request of Merlin the magician. Luckily, they have a young sorcerer, Teddy, to help them. From underwater caves to a Spider Queen, from mystical selkies to a magical sword, this is a Magic Tree House adventure kids won’t want to miss!Winter of the Ice WizardJack and Annie, joined by Teddy and Kathleen travel in the Magic Tree House to a land of snow where the Ice Wizard has captured Morgan and Merlin. The four friends must find the Ice Wizard’s missing eye . . . or is it really his heart that is missing?

    From the huge jolly Beavis family with whom he had lodgings in Newington Butts, to Mr George Singleton, Charing Cross Road bookseller, who employed Joe in a little lucrative and harmless forgery, Sergeant Joe was a univeral favourite. Quite a few people wondered why he didn't get married. But it wasn't until he bumped into Dolly Smith - quite literally in a London pea-souper - that he met a girl who made an impression on him. Dolly was quick, lively, and full of cockney cheek. She was also a little frightened - running from a vicious-looking thug and a sinister foreigner who seemed to think she had stolen something valuable. When Joe took Dolly under his wing he thought he was just helping her in a momentary predicament. He didn't realise his peaceful existence was going to be wrecked. For Dolly was both bewitching and beguiling - and she was also involved in something quite dangerous that was finally to give Sergeant Joe the surprise of his life.

    Through ‘A Rustic Mind’ I aim to provide a thoughtful take on such actions and incidents. Poetic in its expression, these words will strike a chord which is not only deep but relatable on many levels.

    But thanks to a show of power he thought would charm her, her ex is stuck in wolf form. And until she turns him back, she’s stuck with him shedding all over her stuff. The local Alpha werewolf, Stephen, will help her turn her ex back into a human—for a price. He needs Lara’s sensitivity to magic to figure out who is killing his people. But with the FBI looking into Phillip’s disappearance, an Alpha trying to make kissy face with her, and a killer who can’t be too happy to have her on his trail, Lara’s problems are just getting started. Witch Sense: Part Two is the second part of the witch sense serial. Please note that parts may contain foul mouthed witches, sexy werewolves, and cliffhangers. All parts will be available through Kindle Unlimited. Happy reading!

     I’m a woman who adores childish things. I prefer being called Maddie over Madison. I like frilly dresses, and tickle fights, and hot chocolate, and coloring, and swing sets. I avoid adulting like I do broccoli, and my therapist says that’s okay. We all have our hobbies. I think my therapist is full of it, but he hasn’t steered me wrong yet. At least I don’t think he has. So, what am I supposed to do when tragedy hits my family once again and I’m left with twins? Well, I adapt. If I have anything good going for me, it’s that I’m a river, ever-flowing. Plus, rivers have waterfalls and rainbows. I like waterfalls and rainbows. But now I need to adult fast because having two tiny things relying on me is hard. I have to be—dare I say it—responsible. Ick. I hate that word. Just when I think I’m getting a routine down with my adorable twins, I’m faced with new problems. My stepmonster is out to get me again. She likes to think she can prove a point, but I’m older now. I won’t let her stomp on me anymore. She better prepare for a fight. And apparently, I have three men on my side. They’re willing to prove they’ll help me. I’ll believe them the day I finally see the elusive unicorn. But they’re there and I can’t stop blabbering like an idiot long enough to tell them to go away. Don’t worry. I got this. I think.

    The eclectic band of citizens that make up this town are portrayed by only two performers, making this satire on life in rural America even more delightful as they depict all of the inhabitants of Tuna -- men, women, children and animals.

    (The first book, 'Mrs Caldicot's Cabbage War was filmed starring Pauline Collins in the title role.) Mrs Caldicot and her colleagues from the Twilight Years Rest Home win the lottery. Their win is small but it transforms their lives in an unexpected way. A trip abroad results in disaster but Mrs Caldicot and company rise above their misfortune.

    But occasionally over the years he’s found it impossible to turn down a particularly enticing assignment or, in the case of the 2012-13 Premier League, just unable to resist writing about that most spectacular of seasons. Fortunately for those who love great writing about soccer, all these fugitive pieces are collected in Fan Mail. You can follow the fortunes, as Hornby did, of a hopelessly out-of-their-depth Cambridge United in the old Second Division, discover why Perry Groves was an unlikely hero among Arsenal fans, enjoy Hornby trying to explain the World Cup to Americans, and share with him the pain of watching his national team.