Unfortunately, due to an exercise allergy, and an eating obsession, it isn’t going to be as easy as he first thought. Throw in a battle of wits with his neighbour’s cat over toilet rights to his garden, a son who lives in the shed and dreams of being discovered on The X Factor, a stroppy teenage daughter with a Wayne Rooney fixation, a wife who doesn’t want to sleep with him anymore, and an amorous work colleague who does, and you have all the ingredients to Sex, Lies and Chocolate Cakes: The Secret Eater’s Diary.

    After more than thirty years of being asked the same question—"Why don't you give us some good news for a change?"—veteran television news anchor Bruce Lindsay obliges us with humorous and heartwarming stories from the idyllic town that we believe we grew up in—or wished we did. Inspired from the stories found in real small-town newspapers, Bruce Lindsay introduces us to the down-to-earth, foible-filled characters from Parley's Grove—folks who can make the mundane mesmerizing and the absurd endearing. Warm, poignant, and always hilarious, these affectionate vignettes of small-town life will help you remember who you are and where you're from.

    THE YEAR OF SAYING YES by Hannah Doyle will make you dirty-laugh, feel warm and fuzzy, and rediscover life's magic - all thanks to one little word: yes. Fans of Lindsey Kelk, Mhairi McFarlane and Lucy-Anne Holmes, you're in for a real treat. The first of four exclusive part-serialisations of THE YEAR OF SAYING YES by Hannah Doyle.Dear ReadersIt's drizzling outside, which totally matches my #currentmood. Pigs in blankets, all the mince pies and a festive Baileys or five are distant memories. You know the drill - it's January. Everyone's banning booze (terrible idea) or cutting carbs (impossible). To add to the misery pile, my plans to seduce the man of my dreams at the stroke of midnight flopped spectacularly. I'm Izzy. I don't just need a New Year resolution, I need a whole new life. And I need YOU. My dreary life is about to get a total makeover - it's my 'Year of Saying Yes'. And this is where you come in. It's up to you to #DareIzzy. I'm saying yes to your challenges, no matter how nuts, adventurous or wild they are. The sky's the limit - I'm at your mercy, readers! Wish me luck. I have a feeling I'm going to need it. LoveIzzy x Don't miss Part 2 of Izzy's adventure, where Izzy is challenged to ask a total stranger for his number, pose naked for a life drawing class and, wait for it... perform at Glastonbury!

    Scott Wolven is such a talent, and his raw, blistering tales of hard-bitten convicts, dodgy informers, and men running from the law make for "the most exciting, authentic collection of short stories I have read in years," says George Pelecanos. Brooding, edgy, and sometimes violent, Controlled Burn's loosely linked stories are each in some way a distillation of hard time -- spent either in prison, the backwoods of Vermont, or the badlands of the American West. Peopled by boxers, drunks, truck drivers, murderers, bounty hunters, drifters traveling under assumed names, and men whose luck ran out a thousand miles ago, these stories feel hard-won from life, and if they are moody and stark, so too are they filled with human longing. Controlled Burn is divided into two sections: "The Northeast Kingdom" and "The Fugitive West." In each, Scott Wolven reveals a broken world where there is no bottom left to hit. In the haunting "Outside Work Detail," convicts stoically dig graves for their fellow prisoners yet reserve their deepest grief for the senseless death of a deer. "Crank" introduces Red Green, a maniacally brilliant addict who brews his own crystal meth in a backwoods lab, and whose high-energy antics inspire both cautious admiration and mortal fear in his business associates. In "Ball Lightning Reported," Red Green's ultimate fate is revealed. In "Atomic Supernova," a revenge-obsessed sheriff deputizes a known cop-killer to help him hunt down a counterfeiter and drug lord. The unexpectedly tender and heartbreaking "The Copper Kings" concerns a father facing the dark truth behind his son's disappearance. And in "Vigilance," a hunted man struggles to escape his past, always yearning for an honorable yet perhaps unreachable future. Powered by a spare, ruminative prose style that recalls the best of Denis Johnson and Thom Jones, Controlled Burn is an unforgettable debut.

    She’s hoping the natural beauty there will lift her spirits. But soon she discovers that her impulsive move lands her in a city with one of the highest violent-crime rates in the region.Astray in Couper introduces you to this cozy mystery series with a criminal edge, but the story is told with a dash of humor and fun. If you like a smart, brave heroine who must quickly reinvent herself—or else, quirky, colorful characters, and dark villains, you’ll love R. Marquez’s slightly skewed version of the Pacific Northwest.Buy Astray in Couper today, and get a taste of how Matty learns to survive a city that too many psychopaths love to call home.

    He's confused, he's disoriented. He asks himself what's going on. But he doesn't know. It's not like anyone's alive to tell him anyway. Just a short trip to the bathroom, a welcome break from the geology class that puts him to sleep and his world is turned upside down. He sees things that defy explanation: His classmate eating his professor, his professor getting up, shrugging off fatal injuries and coming for him.Zack knows he must get out of this nightmare. But when he's inadvertently trapped in the faculty building by a fellow survivor, he soon discovers that the living may be even more dangerous than the monstrous undead.

    Now, there's a reason to be. Lux and his younger brother Lunam enjoy the full freedom of the simple life and all the childhood adventures offered by growing up in a small village in a picturesque glen. Life is tranquil, peaceful, and just about perfect—except for one formidable fact... Every day is followed by night. And, with the night, comes the DARKNESS. Slowly shrouding the valley and relentlessly seeping into every nook and cranny on its nightly rampage, the darkness returns to feast on its victims. No man, woman, child, animal—or even, insect—is safe. The darkness consumes all; the darkness's hunger is never satisfied. When the sun falls from the sky, the villagers, young and old, must take to arms, guarding their homes, loved ones, and livestock with every ray of light they can muster. Even young Lux and Lunam are well-soldiered in their responsibilities to safeguard themselves and their parents during the nightly vigil, the nightly fight to live to see another day. It's always been this way—the truths and ritual passed down from generation to generation since ancient times. No one dares question why. Nothing can change the frightening fact of the lives of the villagers or emancipate them from their singular foe—nothing, except a child's imagination and a curiosity as immutable as the darkness's own appetite. There's just one truth guiding every man, woman, and child to strive to see another day: "Darkness Comes but Once a Night."

    So when an enchanting elderly couple enters the bakery where she works and orders a cake for their 75th anniversary, she's not quite sure what to make of the "wishing dust" they leave her with. Soon enough she discovers it has more power--and surprises--than she ever imagined.A fresh, original romantic comedy in novelette form, The Wishing Cake is short enough to be devoured in one sitting, rich enough to be savored for years.

    The stories recounts the life of times of the hero Domrudhar in colonial India. The protagonist Domrudhar is portrayed as a dishonest man who rises from a lowly shop-assistant to a land owner.

    You think about it, fantasize about it, live through it in your head. But what would you do if zombies became a reality? If you actually were to see the dead walk, attack and kill people you know - who then rise right in front of your eyes? What would you do when the undead don't follow the script you've played out - over and over - in your own mind?Find out what happens to a woman in central Illinois when her life is turned upside down. Zombies become real and so does the danger. Her family means the most to her, but can she keep them alive? Can she keep herself alive?In this short story that begins the full-length series, you are a big part of it. The main character "speaks" to you often and you're invited into her thoughts - which can be quite humorous at times. She's not perfect and she knows it.She strong and she's a fighter...but she doesn't know it.

    Meet the man who vacuums bewildered prairie dogs out of their burrows; a frustrated werewolf who roams the streets of Soho getting mistaken for Brian Blessed; a smug carbon-neutral eco-couple; a teenage girl who invites 45,000 MySpace friends to a house party; the author of a business book entitled Highly Successful Secrets to Standing on a Corner Holding Up a Golf Sale Sign and a man whose attempts to teach softball to a group of indolent British advertising executives sparks an international crisis.

    The fable has since been reprinted in The Thurber Carnival (Harper and Brothers, 1945), James Thurber: Writings and Drawings, The Oxford Book of Modern Fairy Tales, and other publications. It is taught in literature and rhetoric courses.

    Without glamorizing poverty, Bonnie Jo Campbell details a vision in which shabbiness, beauty, brutality, and wisdom all coexist -- and yet the stories can be surprisingly optimistic, often funny. In "Sleeping Sickness," a twelve-year-old copes with the sexually charged atmosphere at home by carefully tending her vegetable garden. In "Bringing Home the Bones," a farmer who prides herself on self-sufficiency must lose her leg before she can meet her estranged daughters halfway. In "Eating Aunt Victoria," a young woman finally looks into the face of her dead mother's lesbian lover. Campbell's hard-working, sometimes hard-drinking, women protagonists are both dangerous and vulnerable, living without seat belts or televisions or the right kind of love. Not surprisingly, the children in these stories often look beyond human role models to dogs, cows, and even gorillas.

    If you knew you were going to die in two years, would you still have gone with the Volvo? So begins the first question of this interview between the recently deceased Linda and her Volvo’s Market Research representative. Over the course of the rest of the interview, listen in and roll down your window into not only a woman’s marriage but a psyche. This brilliantly woven tale shines a light on our collective idiosyncrasies, neuroses, and desires. In the tradition of Sally Rooney and Maria Semple, Alison Espach threads the needle between humor and devastation and emerges a master of observational satire and millennial voice.

    They're not criminals. They're outlaws. They have made a living by driving anything and everything for the Stanleys, the criminal family who has been employing them for decades. It's ended with Tucker. He's gone straight, much to the disappointment of his father, Webb. When Webb vanishes after a job, and with him a truck load of drugs, the Stanleys want their drugs back or their money. With the help from his grandfather, Calvin-the original lead foot-Tucker is about to learn a whole lot about the family business in a crash course that might just get him killed.Praise for RUMRUNNERS:“A killer. If you dug Bull Mountain, you’ll love it.”—Brian Panovich, author of Bull Mountain“The best word to sum up this book is ’FUN’, in capital letters.”—Stuart MacBride, author of The Missing and the Dead“Buckle up...RUMRUNNERS is a fast and furious read.”—Samuel W. Gailey, author of Deep Winter“Few contemporary writers do justice to the noir tradition the way Eric Beetner does. Others try to emulate and mimic; Beetner just takes the form and cuts his own jagged, raw and utterly readable path.”—Gar Anthony Haywood, author of Assume Nothing, Cemetery Road and the Aaron Gunner series“Rumrunners just never lets up. It's a fuel-injected, mile-a-minute thrill ride. I had a blast.”—Grant Jerkins, author of A Very Simple Crime and Done In One